๐ ๐พ๐๐๐พ๐๐ ๐ฟ๐๐๐ ๐ป๐๐ ๐ ๐ ( closed. )
Daisy, ( @selfruin )
I know you'll never see this because I'm never going to send it, hell I'm not even sure how I'd get it to you at this point. I mean I could give it to Simone and maybe she'd deliver it to you, but I feel she hates me just as much as everyone else right now, if not more. Which is totally understandable. I don't blame anyone for the way they feel towards me right now, especially you. I did you so wrong, and now I see that. Now I can admit that I am not a good person, and that I helped ruin your beautiful soul. Ruin isn't a good word.... you're not ruined, you never could be, you're such a beautiful person inside and out if you'd just let yourself be.... A better word is hurt, I see now that I hurt you, massively, and it's not fair. At all. I know I can't, I know it's impossible, but I wish we could just start from the beginning again. I would do so much so differently... Like actually love you the way you deserved to be loved, fully, unconditionally, and thoroughly. I would have respected you for your talent from the get go, I would have accepted the input you had and seen that you make it better. You make everything better. I know I said that once before, and maybe after everything that happened you don't believe it but it's so true.
But sadly, I can't go back. All I can do now is ask for your forgiveness, and even then I understand if you don't give it me. I'm not sure I necessarily deserve it, but all I can do is ask. I shouldn't have led you on like I did, and I should have communicated my expectations of what our relationship was better. you didn't deserve that, and I'm so sorry for the misunderstanding. If I'm honest I thought we were on the same page, which in hindsight was unfair of me to assume. I hope you know the only reason I was never fully yours was for Julia's sake. Which isn't an excuse, what I did was inexcusable, but I just wanted to let you know my reasonings. I feared that if I left Cami, ( which if I'm honest with you, it's something that's been heavy on my mind... we both know how she is. ) she would keep Julia from me, and that's the last thing I want. You know me better than anyone, you get me better than anyone so you know that my biggest fear is to turn out like my father. Which again, if we're honest, I've already started to do. But, that's not on you. That's all on me. I don't want to say you're blame, but I think now we can both admit that it's on both of us.
I guess this letter is me trying to say that I forgive you. I don't think I could do anything but love you Daisy. Genuinely. You showed me parts of myself that I had buried so deep inside of myself that I forgot they existed. You understood, well understand me better than anyone. You see my demons, you've faced the same ones, but you also see the good in me. When no one else did, you believed in me Daisy, and I'm just so thankful for you and the impact you had on me as a person. It wasn't always pretty, but I don't think real life ever is. What we had, it was real. What we are, it's real. You made me feel real again, and not like I was living in some fantasy world. You made me appreciate myself and the small things in life again, and again I can't thank you enough. You make me better, you made me better. Even on our worst days. Even when we were fighting and yelling and playing our silly little games. You made me better.
I hope you're getting the help you need. I really do. Because, D, you've got such a bright future ahead of you. I think I'm done with the whole rockstar life, but you? I can see you being a household name for generations to come. What we had with the six was great, but that's because you brought so much raw, beautiful talent to it. And now? Now you get to bring that raw, beautiful talent to your own career. Never give up Daisy, please never give up. I love you more than I can ever express.
Billy Dunne. ( p.s. I can't wait to hear all the songs you write about me, they're all deserved. )














