#selfproclaimedartist

Old sign I acquired + me + chalk markers = fun side project. Fully finished, and never finished in the same breathe. #noskateboarding #skateordie #skateboardingisnotacrime #chalkmarkers #art #madeinoregon #503 #oregonart #oregon #selfproclaimedartist #haventevenstartedyet

I’ve waited all my four years of high school for this moment, this exact moment when I’d be done with High School. To get the free feeling, be a dream chaser, get away from all the things that made me sad or upset and start going towards the sun. I really thought After high school I would party 24/7 and "Do what I want". Sadly the things they forget to show you in the movies is what happens after graduation, what people do after hitting the glorious moment? What they plan on after receiving they’re diplomas? I don’t know if it’s just me but the life I imagined for myself after high school is A LOT different than I thought, haha. Even though I’m 19 years old and have my diploma it somehow doesn’t transform me into the new adult of society or the new charming and classy lady of the world. I feel exactly how I was Freshmen year, trying to find "Who I Am", still being seen as an irresponsible child and I’m still Incredibly a social awkward person. I was kind of hoping all problems would be solved on its own and that everything would just fall into place and I’d become this party animal in college. But here I am, a month later, still at home, jobless, no license and not having sense of direction. I knew a life as an artist wasn’t exactly the easiest, but reality has certainly kept on hitting me with that problem in my face and not letting me forget about it, haha. Some things I’ll admit were my fault, my procrastinating and laziness has certainly stayed with me after graduation xDD Although on a serious note, there were some things that seem to crumble even though I’m trying so hard to keep it all together. So far the thing I’m fighting with the most is, money. Of course money is every college students problem(especially with this economy) but sadly it’s really hitting me. See, what I’ve learned is that going to college for Acting isn’t exactly what Native Americans like to sponsor for or any other scholarships. Being a doctor or a lawyer seems to be more worthy of free money and this guilt has been holding me down these past few days. Sometimes I feel bad for my Mom, having to deal with such a difficult and expensive child(basically an artist child) with such a big dream of making it on the movie screen, directing movies, writing plays and being anything artistic one day. Growing up takes ALOT, and it’s not something you learn from high school, even adults struggle with the concept of growing up. After paying more close attention to the adults around me I realized being an adult is facing difficult problems even if its not going you’re way. Right now things seem foggy but I know it’ll get better, I just hope it starts sooner and hopefully it’ll be a big step towards me being an "New adult in society"((: