#selfieposts

I'm tired of this routine. Being fine one second then the next, out of the blue, i'm crumbling on the floor. I miss you. Still. That's all I know to say now. I can't express myself. I just miss you. Us.

It's changing me. I'm not even near the girl I was. I'm completely seclude from everyone, anyone. Cold heart, I guess that's a way I could describe myself now. Putting so much effort..to get attention..but all i'm receiving is everyone's..but your's. All these bullshit people people say about you to get me to feel better..it doesn't. It hurts. Because you still mean the world to me.

Yea I know that it was probably a pain in the ass to be with me considering my blondness and how every time we're together, there's at least one person that quietly whisper out, " How did he get her? " I never said a thing, because I thought you should be glad that people envy us. Instead..you left. I guess you just had enough of it all. Now all that comes out of you now is " no comment " or " I don't know what to say.." every time I try to tell you things. It hurts..to see how I use to be all of your priority..and now I'm just a disappointment to you. I told myself I'd never fall so hard for someone, yet I did; for you...because you were worth it.

This really sucks. Seeing you with an opposite sex just breaks me down. Then I'd have to go through this whole mental sayings so that I wouldn't cry infront of people, unless I'm just losing it. What hurt the most is telling myself that i'm not good enough for you, that you can have someone better, that you will meet someone better, and that hopefully she'll be just the one for you. That's all i'm wishing for. Yet you constantly persuades me to move one. It's not that easy. I loved you, no bullshit.

She's getting your sympathy effortlessly. You had plans with her too. Yeah it may not sound like something big, but try to be in my of point of view. Try seeing how she treats me when you're not around. But it's fine. I'm not going to bother telling you because I'll just look like I'm accusing her of bullshit.

I'm tired of this. " Things well get better, " you said. Everything just gets worst everyday. " Go ask for help, " you said. I did, you know what came out of that? I'm losing people. This is real. I'm not seeking for your sympathy. I just want you to care, not this complete stranger that I used to know.

She may put on a tough act, but deep down, she does have a sensitive side. She's a girl who's been hurt. So she comes off as a bitch at times, to try to show guys that she's unbreakable. Only cause because she's been broken before. You know how you can tell? If she's pushing you away, so she won't grow attached. If she isn't being open about her feelings, so you wouldn't take advantage of them. If she's not letting you in to see her personal side, so she won't be vulnerable. A lot of guys have told her they wouldn't hurt her & well, they did. & it just gets harder to believe every time.

I've been in such a wreck lately. Honestly, it was more of my fault. I fell in love with the thought that we'd always be an us , that we'd work out and you'd be mine, forever. I fell too hard for that thought that I wasn't able to grasp the fact that this is reality, that reality well never be how you want it to be.