The fact is, it is incredibly strong to be vulnerable, and there is no 1-dimensional "weak" or "strong" for any part of a human being.
A beautiful show of strength in vulnerability was a scene from #LoveIsBlind S4Epi5 between Marshall, Brett and Kwame. Marshall said, "Not a lot of guys that look like us talk about stuff like this - to each other." As Brett interjects with, "Vulnerability." Marshall continues, "We gotta set the example. We gotta set the precedent that, you know, it's okay to talk about your feelings and tell people that you love them, because there are many times where I wish I would've told friends that have passed and aren't with us now, that I wish I would have told, 'Hey, bro, I love you.'"
As kids, boys can be exceptionally pressured to not cry ("big boys don't cry"), shame their healthy emotions, not express (or have) needs - basically, be as invisible as possible. This is not only from family culture, but society and their peers on the playground. If we perceive, especially at those younger years, something endangering our belonging to our group, it’s endangering our survival and therefore we must label it as something we should avoid at all cost.
Growing up into men searching for romantic partnership, being members of teams on sports and at jobs that require the strength of our vulnerability to make good decisions and forward movement to, at times, move mountains, through creating a solid force with other humans through bonding and relating, and being there for each other - men can struggle finding the balance or their vulnerability, or recognize others’. They might feel a huge gap in connection, harmony, fit and worse: feel defective, alone and the burden of feeling like they don’t matter.
Keeping re-wounding on an endless loop as the norm.
