#self-progression

New Years Resolution 2012/3

1. Keep focus on training karate. At least twice a week but more whenever possible. 

[2014 Update: Was training 4 days a week for the start of 2014 now seemingly down to 3 days again because Mark has pulled out of Friday’s. When driving I can train another day with Gerry as he offered hopefully to get it back up to 4.]

2. Get back in the gym in the mornings. Compound weight exercises & jogging.

[2014 Update: Not going to the gym much at all lately. Will do on Friday evenings from now on - will go to 24 hour gym next month to sign up.]

  3. Get on a healthy diet. Something big for breakfast (eggs or porridge), clean snacking - only eat out once a week.

[2014 Update: Diet isn’t as clean as I was thinking back then and big breakfast isn’t any longer something I feel important, I go for a few carbs in the morning with lemon water & supplements to tie me over until a mid-morning snack with some protein. Trying to cut down on unhealthy snacks - have seeds on desk.]

4. Only drink once a week. No more lunchtime pints.

[2014: No longer having lunchtime pints but have been hitting the drink hard lately. I’m more worried about my weekend binges and the person I’m becoming with them though so at the moment so my focus is to stop heavy drinking at the weekend, starting with a couple of weeks off drinking currently. My big enemy is shots. They needs to stop. Remember the reason for going out is to work the game, not get drunk & try to fight everybody.]

5. Get driving lessons completed & get on road.

[2014: Still battling this one hard. Test April 10th. Really trying to get my head into it and get it right now.]

6. Look for a 9-5 in the music business domain.

[Applied for a Chichester job, the first opening I’ve seen locally, but no reply. Can work harder on this once driving.]

7. Stop smoking altogether, always feel guilty it’s going to effect my training & that’s the most important thing.

[I do not smoke at all now. I’ve never been a cigarette smoker but had the occasional cigar or sometimes some weed if I was really drunk in 2012 & 2013. I now do not touch either but have been tempted to when really drunk, another reason I know I’m not being myself when I’ve had too much to drink.]

8. Spend more time making music.

[Still really need to do this. Even one day a week would be an accomplishment now and that’s what I’m going to aim for.]

9. Get b-dem up to at least 2000 followers on facebook. Move to next, more radical business plans.

I'm such a twat!!! My boss must think I'm an idiot, childish or something...I nearly cried over the phone when he asked me if everything's okay (with regard to my delayed report)...Well, the mental battle over the last few weeks really made me think my mental tolerance is just as an adolescent. Oh Gosh! I REALLY REALLY REALLY need to learn how to control my emotions, I mean, seriously!!!

Should have made this post yesterday, but well...you know, my laziness...

I actually woke up this morning with a fresher head, miraculously. Perhaps it's because I've gone through so much internal struggle over the last few days, self-evaluating and planning about my future. Frankly it may bore people to death if I recorded them down in words (or maybe I should try and do that some day, just for my own good, we'll see).

I guess my biggest weakness is lack of self-determination and executive drive. Once I started doing something, I can be reasonably diligent. But the problem lies on 'pushing myself to take the first step', because every morning before I began my day's work, I'm always blanketed with cloud of doubt that I cannot perform, and this subconscious lack of self-confidence pours cold water over my working-mode.