[ID: Rough sketch in dark red of Parker having a self-defence lesson from Eliot. They're in a room with a punching bag and a kick shield in the background, and Eliot is holding pads for Parker, with one low on his abdomen and the other on his chest. Parker is throwing a front kick to the higher pad. Eliot had tape on his fingers and a bandage on one leg, and is wearing ankle braces. Parker is wearing MMA gloves, leggings and a pale tank top. End ID]
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Day 22: alt. Self-defence lessons
Super quick rough on today >_< Hopefully I'll have a chance to do a tidier version of this at some point, but trying not to miss a day amidst busy times
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Whumpee's hands shook as they stared at the body in front of them. "What have I done?"
Caretaker pulled them into their lap, turning their head into their chest. "Shh, it's okay. You didn't have a choice."
That was the last thing they had to hear for the dam to break. Whumpee broke out in ugly sobs, clinging to Caretaker and leaving bloody handprints on their shirt. "I killed them! I killed Whumper! I killed the only person who ever cared about me!"
"Shh," they soothed. "They're not the only person in your life anymore. You have me, remember?"
"That's different! They— They taught me everything I know, they basically raised me, I— What have I done?"
"The only thing you could to keep your life. They were set on killing you."
"Then I deserved it!"
"Clearly, they couldn't beat the self-preservation instincts out of you."
"This is so bad! I'm bad! I need— I need to be punished, severely, I need to be killed in retaliation, I, I'm nothing without Whumper, I'm nothing without them—"
"Whumpee, it's okay. It's gonna be okay."
"Nothing's ever gonna be okay again!" Whumpee suddenly pushed themself away from Caretaker, standing up. It was like their tears had stopped in an instant — they wiped their eyes and walked over to the wall of torture instruments. They picked the heaviest looking whip, a cat o' nine tails with little iron pellets at the end, and walked back to Caretaker. They shoved the whip into their hands and pulled off their shirt. "I need to be punished," they said in a daze. Their eyes carefully avoided looking at the body as they turned around for Caretaker to hit them. "Now."
"Whumpee, I won't—"
"Now."
"No."
Whumpee clutched their shirt tighter. Blood was pooling around their bare feet, sticky and viscous. "You want me to go with you now that Whumper is gone," they said, not a question, but a statement. "Then you have to prove to me that you can keep me on the right track."
"This isn't the right track, this would be torture—"
"Prove it," they hissed. "Prove to me that you can correct me. Otherwise I'll stay with Whumper's body until I die of dehydration. That's the only thing I'm good for, anyway."
"Whumpee…"
"Prove it."
They heard the whip hit the floor. Caretaker stepped up to them and hugged them from behind, the front of them pressing against criss-cross scars on Whumpee's back of various healing stages. "I will never prove it like that. I want you to come with me, but I will never, ever hit you."
At that, Whumpee broke down again. The strength to hold up their body left their legs, and they collapsed into Caretaker's embrace. Caretaker slowly lowered them both back to the floor.
Only God can decide when you die. Until then, you must do everything you can to keep yourself alive, along with those close to you. Men must be ready to protect those they care about.
At the very least, they must carry a pistol with at least 6 rounds or a blade of at least 12 inches, and must keep themselves proficient with such.
"Look, hold a knife like this, cuts through an onion. Hold a knife like this, cuts through, like, eight yakuza in 4 seconds. Screams, carnage. People are like knives. Everything is in context."
- self-defence tip brought to you by Eliot Spencer (OG Leverage, episode 01x03 The Wedding Job) , if you ever feel you need it. Especially as a female presenting person in today's USA and men running around proclaiming "your body, my choice"
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Imagine the TVA trying to use some sort of mind probe on Loki, and Loki responds by using his training in psychic self-defence to rickroll them repeatedly
