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I've been listening to like the entire backlog of The Beef and Dairy Network and man is it hard to explain to someone what I'm listening to. Like, yes, you did just hear a woman recounting how she was trafficked into making sausages. There is no fifth meat. Stop asking questions.
At least when I was big into Night Vale I never had to explain the joke.
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Me when the character x reader fic with clear smut tag has romance and sex in it:
Do you know how much it sucks for your ships to not be canon in your own??? goddamn??? story???
I recently noticed that I am troubled by too intense friendships. Not only troubled but terrified. The reason behind this I don’t know, I just know that as soon as I get the feeling someone is attached to me, getting close to me, I try to get away. Maybe I’m frightened to be responsible for them somehow. Maybe I’m frightened to get suckered down into their sadness and problems, that I won’t be able to endure this, that it would make me too sad to bear it. Fact is I go in a state of total avoidance, turn off my phone, vanish pretty much entirely. Pretty egoistical.
Sometimes it makes me sad that I don’t really belong anywhere. I fit in fine wherever I want, but only for a short amount of time, because as soon as people are getting too close I detach myself, try to detangle myself from the social bonds. I am alone with my problems, this is what I have chosen. Most days I’m happy. And still, I am afraid of being utterly alone, of someday being lonely and not being able to change it anymore because I have pushed everyone who ever cared for me away.
At the moment I am like "I need to go to bed. I am so damn tired." and "I need more C/H fanfics and maybe I should write another one." And "I have absolutely no idea what to write." plus "I really should go and sleep."Â
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The weekend has just 48h and I have how many movies I want to watch this weekend?!? They do not fit into 48h!!!
