#self indulgent garbage

He felt a little like an opportunist.

Perhaps he was. When he’d heard that Helen was going out of town with her daughter - Jessica, he remembered - Charlie hadn’t wasted much time in formulating a train of thought that would eventually take him right to the reverend’s front door. It was a bold move that he hadn’t done before, especially since he’d been sleeping elsewhere for the last few weeks. Very few and far in between were the nights that he spent underneath Tim’s train table. Maybe that’s why this felt so nerve wracking.

But with Helen gone, what was the harm? She’d never be the wiser, so long as Charlie was smart. And he’d done his homework; made sure he knew exactly when Helen was leaving and bide his time until he was certain she would be long gone, leaving the reverend alone in his large and not-so-humble abode. It was only when the evening sun began to sink beneath the distant horizon that Charlie made his way to the home and gave the front door a knock. He fought the urge to pace while he waited, ears swiveling forward as the sound of footsteps neared. Straightening up, the hybrid did his best to hide any sign that he’d been at all nervous as the door opened and he was met with the less-than-enthused Timothy Lovejoy, decked from head to toe in his ‘conductor’ garb. He’d been interrupted, obviously. But Charlie didn’t let it faze him.

“...You really should be wearing something to hide those,” was all Tim said, pointing at Charlie’s long rabbit ears.

“It’s getting dark out. They’re fine,” Charlie replied without skipping a beat. “I came to get you outta your train hole for a while.”

“What makes you think I want to get out of my…” Lovejoy shook his head. He wasn’t going to dignify train hole with a response.

“Oh c’mon. The wife’s gone and you’re just gonna sit and do what you would’ve been doing anyway? Let’s go out! Go do something that she would pitch a fit about if she was here, huh?” Charlie’s mischievous grin and slight tail waggle gave away his enthusiasm. Internally, he wondered, if Lovejoy would have the gall - or the courage - to take him up on the offer. But he wouldn’t let the man see him doubt.

Tim sighed, glancing from Charlie back into his house and then back out at the giddy hybrid. A ‘no’ lingered on the tip of his tongue, but it was snatched away from him when he looked out, spying a sporty-looking bright red motorcycle sitting out in the middle of his driveway.

“Is that yours?” He asked, not answering Charlie’s invitation, but stepping out onto the porch and venturing out onto the driveway, eyeing the bike with skepticism - and interest.

Charlie fought the urge to lie, shaking his head. “Just borrowing it from a friend. Told him I’d bring it back in one piece, but I wanted to make sure that I’d make you an offer you couldn’t refuse.” The hybrid elbowed the reverend gently in the side, allowing Tim to circle the bike and make up his mind, in the process.

“...Alright, but not a word to anyone. And if you even run a single red light, I’m driving.” It was a reluctant agreement, but one nonetheless, and Charlie did his best to not grin like a fool as Tim retreated back inside to change, donning his usual pink shirt and tie affair. One that Charlie didn’t think altogether appropriate.

As Tim approached, Charlie went right ahead and reached out, tugging the tie off of the reverend and rolling it up gently, shoving it right into his own pocket.

“You’ll get it back at the end of the night, you big square. C’mon.” It was a tease - and a challenge - as Charlie clambered onto the bike and kicked it to life, the deep rumble of the engine sending tingles up his clawed toes. It had been a considerable time since he’d driven anything, but he’d always preferred vehicles of the two-wheeled sort over four. So he had no problem offering a hand to Tim as he awkwardly positioned himself on the back of the bike, embarrassed and bothered, but only huffing once or twice before settling in.

“Where are we going?” He asked, the words nearly choked from his throat as Charlie pulled away from the Lovejoy household and roared steadily down the street. The hybrid didn’t kick into high gear just yet - they needed to get a little further away from suburbia for that. Instead, he pointed to a backpack which hung off the side of the bike, bulging with the weight of its contents.

“First, there’s a helmet in there. Your head needs more protecting than mine,” Charlie called over the sound of the engine, pleased that Tim didn’t seem to argue. The last thing he needed was to cart the reverend home with a head injury. It wasn’t until he’d placed the helmet snuggly over that nicely coiffed hair that Charlie provided him with an answer. “I want you to see the kinds of sights I get to see all the time!”

Lovejoy frowned to himself. He didn’t know what that meant, but he was given precious little time for a verbal back and forth with the hybrid as they flew out of the subdivision and headed for the highway. As the road opened and the traffic flow ebbed with the approach of the night, their speed steadily climbed. It was clear that they were not staying nested within Springfield. And there was no real insulated space for them to have a conversation. All the man could do was hold tight to the hybrid and try not to regret his decision to come along. He wondered, absently, if it had been better to just stay with his train set.

But as he felt the slight flexing of the hybrid’s midsection in his arms, he lost his train of thought.

------------

It felt like almost an hour had passed before they slowed again, the feeling of zipping in and out of lanes still making the reverend’s stomach do a few interesting flips as Charlie steered them away from the main roads and down what looked to be a sandy, almost hidden path. The sound of the engine’s roar was quickly replaced by the roar of a different kind, and before too long, Lovejoy’s vision was filled with dark, flowing waves, illuminated only by the light of a sparse assortment of street lights and the glow of the rising moon.

“The beach? Charlie, it’s the middle of May. And it’s night.”

Charlie could only allow himself a little huff of amusement. “Yeah, I got eyes too, Tim.”

The hybrid veered off the path and down onto the sand, though he was careful not to get too close to the water. The tires struggled enough away from the smooth concrete and he was quick to turn the engine off, leaving the ambient sound of the nearby waves as their only soundtrack.

“I really don’t understand what you wanted to do here,” Tim mumbled, a bit sourly, as he stepped away from the bike, removing the helmet and trying to smooth his hair back down with some frustration. Though the salt air would likely not do it much good either; he gave up after a few moments.

“‘Tis not simply enough to see a sight, my friend?” Charlie replied with an overly dramatic flourish. His own hair was already a bit tousled with the breeze, but he didn’t seem to mind. It was never very finally pinned in place to begin with. “Get away from the fluorescents and stained glass once in a while. It’s good for you.” He beckoned Lovejoy over as he drifted down the sandy dune and towards the water, breathing deeply. It had been some time since he’d stepped away from Springfield and towards the ocean. He was a good swimmer… he simply had little opportunity to do so.

Not that he thought that Tim would take him up on a somewhat chilly night time swim.

Tim followed, though he took his time, sighing upon realization that he’d need to figure out how to get the sand out of his shoes before returning home. This all seemed so silly, but he got down the dunes nonetheless, stepping to Charlie’s side and grumpily staring at the hybrid. Like he expected more of an explanation.

“Well? Did you see it?” He asked, impatiently, not bothering to look out at what they’d actually come to see. It took Charlie all of two seconds to shoot back that impatient stare right at him, though it faded into something a little more… sympathetic. Or piteous? What would the hybrid have to pity him for? Lovejoy was almost offended, but the thought was significantly jostled off of its track as Charlie reached up with a scaly hand and gently pushed it against the reverend’s cheek, steering his face out towards the water.

“Look.”

Charlie said nothing else for the moment as Tim allowed his gaze to fix forward and out to the shifting waves. At first, his irritation threatened to return, but as he felt the hand leave his cheek and he took his first deep breath in, his protests remained swallowed. There was a dark and moody beauty to the scene, driven to a relaxing swell as he listened to the water lap against the shore. He almost didn’t notice that Charlie had sidled up right to his side, watching him with a little smile. But the hybrid’s gaze only lingered for a moment before returning out to the sea.

For a time, neither of them said anything. Until the hybrid finally murmured, a bit dreamily, to Lovejoy.

“Y’know. If there is a God up there… who… y’know, made all this- I’d like to believe that he made this for me.”

Blinking, Tim glanced over at the hybrid who didn’t look away from his fixed stare on the waves.

“...The whole ocean?” That was silly. God would have created it for everyone- all of his believers. And Tim had been about to say as such, but he would get no chance.

“Nah. Just this moment.”

There was a ‘that I’m sharing with you’ in there that remained unspoken, but Lovejoy wasn’t stupid enough to miss the implication. Awkwardly, he shifted his feet, though he found himself unable to dispute the belief, even if he felt heat rising in his face.

He always did say that God worked in mysterious ways.

“Hey! Check this out.”

Surprised by Charlie’s sudden shift into his usual, playful self, Lovejoy watched as the hybrid skittered closer to the water, his tail lifted high enough to keep from dragging in the sand. With a little shiver, Charlie dipped a toe into the waves and then another. Lovejoy stared at him strangely. The idiot would freeze if the water was cold enough.

“Charlie, really.” He said dully, but the hybrid was not swayed. Instead, Charlie only went deeper, pausing only to roll up the cuffs of his pants to prevent them from getting soaked entirely. The water was halfway up his shin when he stopped, locking eyes with the reverend as he waggled his tail once again. Like a child, Tim thought.

“Watch.”

With a strange precision that he didn’t think the hybrid was capable of, Charlie sunk the tip of his tail into the waves, and with a quick spin, dragged it in a circular motion. The water swished around him, and where his tail had been, tiny, microscopic beads of light appeared in its place. The water glowed with bioluminescence, illuminating the dark waves with an eerie aura that was also strikingly beautiful. Lovejoy had little to say as he ventured closer to the water, though made certain to keep his shoes from being splashed with the salty waves.

“...That’s not you is it?” The reverend asked, skeptical about the source of the glow and wondering whether or not Charlie had received more ridiculous radiation in Burns’ factory than he thought…

“No!” Charlie replied with a laugh. Dummy. “It’s plankton. They light up at night. Come and see!”

Another temptation - another invitation. Lovejoy seemed to be trapped in a never-ending series of challenges from the hybrid. But his curiosity was piqued. He’d never been able to see something like this before, save for, perhaps, on TV when he stayed up late channel-surfing because he couldn’t sleep. How stupid would he have to be to pass up on something like this? Besides… he could probably frame it in a sermon later on.

Yeah. That was his justification.

Though he huffed in faux-agitation, Lovejoy eventually stepped back and away from the water, removing his shoes and socks, nesting them neatly in the sand nearby and returning to the water’s edge where Charlie waited eagerly. Though there was hesitation in his movements, he was already halfway there. Eventually, he goaded himself into the water, similarly rolling up his pants and staring - with half-hearted annoyance - at Charlie who only returned his look with an excitable grin.

“Go on. Give it a try,” Charlie said, glancing from the water back up to Lovejoy who stood, awkwardly, not wanting to look foolish, and yet…

He sighed.

Reaching down, he dipped his fingertips into the water - then his hand. No light gleamed from beneath the frothy water and he frowned.

“You gotta wake ‘em up a bit.” Charlie’s encouragement was genuine.

It was enough so that Lovejoy didn’t feel… too put out when he gave the water a bit of a swish with his hand. And though the glow that emanated from the creatures within was fairly weak, it was a reaction nonetheless. He stared, a bit wide-eyed, moving his hand a little faster to strike up a better, stronger glow.

“See? Easy.”

“I know how to stir water,” Lovejoy replied, his gaze venturing back up to the hybrid who had carefully plodded over to where he was, glancing down at his plankton-stirring handiwork.

“Do you? Because you seem like you’re having kind of a hard time with it,” the hybrid shot back with a little smirk. Teasing, as he was wont to do.

Tim prickled at the implication, chasing a sudden urge and reaching down into the water. He scooped a bit of it into his hand, shifting his stance a bit so he didn’t sink too far into the sand, and flicked the water at Charlie in a meager splash. It was enough to significantly surprise the hybrid who hopped away in a little shake, droplets splattered onto his glasses as he stared dully back at the reverend.

“You are so rude,” Charlie said, his gaze turning devilish as he lowered his tail back into the water once again, circling Tim mischievously.

“...Okay- look. Now- Don’t go too far with this. This is my good shirt-”

Charlie didn’t wait for Tim to come up with more excuses, his tail lashing against the waves and sending a spray of sea water towards the reverend which the man tried and failed to dodge. Now they were both wet. And the thought seemed to strike both men at once. Now it was a war.

Charlie bolted away from the reverend as the man gave chase, both eagerly trying hard not to face plant into the sand and still spray the other with a considerable splash of seawater to consider it even. Charlie didn’t bother trying to disguise his laughter, amused by the grave expression on Lovejoy’s face, even though he too was trying not to chuckle under his breath. It was only when their back and forth nonsense caused Tim to nearly topple backwards into the waves that their game came to an end, the hybrid reaching out to snag Lovejoy by the wrist and tug him back to his feet. They didn’t need to play chicken with the current.

“Don’t drown on me now,” the hybrid said as he steadied Lovejoy, hands drifting to the man’s hips to keep him rooted in place, though he caught himself quickly, returning his grasp to himself and clearing his throat. “You good?”

Tim, for all of his alarm at the thought of losing his balance, was not thinking about that so much as the press of those hands on his body. Though the water was chilly, he was feeling impossibly warm, his hair wet and plastered to his head in what was undoubtedly a mess. His gaze quickly flitted from Charlie, to Charlie’s scaly hands, and then down to his own feet.

“Uh. Yes. Just fine.”

The water around them was teeming with bright, illuminated creatures, but he was having a hard time focusing on that. Even if it was beautiful.

“Good. I’d really rather not have to call the coast guard out here to rescue you a mile off shore,” Charlie replied with a little smile. Lovejoy stared at him for a moment before reaching up to snag the glasses from the hybrid’s face. Bringing them down, he attempted to wipe them clean with his shirt, but to no avail. His shirt was fairly soaked through. A rare kind gesture, foiled at its inception. Lovejoy frowned a little, moving to return them to the other, but not before he felt a sudden drop of moisture from above.

Were the waves growing?

No. That was rain.

Charlie glanced up to the sky and flinched as another drop of water hit him square in the face.

“...Maybe I should’ve checked the forecast,” he said sheepishly as the clouds above them opened and began to shower them both with light, cool rain that stirred the bioluminescence below and lit the water as far as they could see.

“Probably,” Lovejoy replied with a gentle sigh. Their earlier attempts at keeping the rest of their clothes dry seemed fairly futile now. But at least they weren’t amidst a torrential downpour or anything.

“I’ll pay for your dry cleaning. No worries.” Charlie kept his gaze on the other, a friendly apology in his eyes. The words were reassuring to Tim, in some way. Had he been worried about that at all? He wasn’t sure. He owned a dryer. It wasn’t a big deal, even if he made it out to be. But… Charlie was still concerned nonetheless.

“It’s… fine.”

The word tapered from his lips as he met Charlie’s eyes, the rain coasting along the waves and the light below bathing them both in the ghostly glow. From where he stood, he realized that, without his glasses, the other man’s eyes were…

Interesting.

No, that wasn’t the right word. But he couldn’t find the correct one. And for a moment, he didn’t seem to care, their eyes locked on one another’s as the sound of the water rushed around them and the cool relief of the rain kept Lovejoy’s face from getting too hot for him to handle.

Before he knew what he was doing, his body was moving towards the other, the pair of glasses still in one hand as he closed the distance between them. His other hand reached to find the hybrid’s chin, keeping him in place as he inspected - really looked at Charlie’s eyes. Like he was looking for something… specific.

“...What…?” Charlie asked, his breathing somewhat short as his heart hammered in his chest. He was not… used to being handled this way. And part of him wanted to run. But he stayed put, allowing Tim to do… whatever it was that he needed to do.

There was a stretch of a few long seconds before they both understood. But it was Lovejoy who finally pulled Charlie closer to him, pressing his mouth to Charlie’s in a heated, nearly desperate kiss. His fingers gripped tightly to the glasses in one hand and to Charlie’s wrist in the other. But Charlie needed no rooting to keep him in place. His own hands were free, reaching up to frame the other man’s face and deepen that kiss as though his life depended on it. Truly, he told himself, this had not been his intent. He’d been making progress - convincing himself that there could be nothing - would be nothing - between he and Tim. But this…

He drank it in like he’d been deprived of water for his entire life, his eyes shut tight against the sweeping rain and the mist that it kicked up beneath them. Lovejoy’s chest clenched painfully at the warmth of the kiss; at the obvious days, weeks, months of mutual pining between them. Where would this go? Where could it go? Nowhere but down. Down into the depths like so many microscopic bits of plankton which disappeared when the sun rose once again.

But they had time yet - the moon was still full despite the clouds framing it in a gentle embrace. The rain still shrouded them both as the kiss was broken, only for it to be reconnected once again. More than once, Lovejoy almost dropped the hybrid’s glasses into the waves, but he held tighter onto them each time. He had let Charlie down in so many ways… at the very least, he could keep his damned glasses safe.

Sadly, the hybrid knew that such a tender, sweet moment was only destined for brevity. Despite the aching in his chest and the churning, bubbly discomfort in his stomach when he thought of pulling away, he forced himself to. Even if it was slowly; gently. His hands on Lovejoy’s face remained there briefly before they too fell back to his sides, claws digging slightly into his own palms as he watched the reverend place his glasses back in front of his eyes. Behind the glass, Lovejoy was blurry and spotty. Somehow… out of reach.

As he often was.

But Charlie didn’t let his sadness pierce the veil of the moment, offering Lovejoy a soft, encouraging smile. There was nothing wrong. It was fine. Everything was fine.

“Come on. We should probably get you back home before you get sick.” Concerned, as always, though he knew that the morning would bring the crushing loneliness that he knew stemmed from Lovejoy’s apparent lack of concern from day to day.

It was fine.

Charlie led the way back to the shore, fruitlessly trying to shake the water from his hair and climbing back up the damp dunes, turning to offer his hand to Tim as he followed behind, much more slowly, and seemingly lost in thought. Charlie wouldn’t blame him, patience in his eyes as he allowed Tim to take his time. He arrived at the bike first, pulling the helmet out again and doing his best to shake it free of the rain as the shower tapered into a light drizzle. He offered it to Tim, watching as the reverend distractedly placed it on his head and climbed onto the bike behind the hybrid.

They would drive home more slowly, the sting of the drizzle against Charlie’s face an almost jarring reminder that all he would have to show for his bold night out was memories and wet clothes.

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Lost in thought as they drove back to the Lovejoys’, Tim had said nothing as soon as they left the water. Though his grip on Charlie tightened when they increased in speed and he’d - at some point - rested his head against the hybrid’s shoulder, his silence persisted as they returned to the quiet, stifling air of the suburbs. His house loomed ever closer, his fingers gripping the fabric of Charlie’s shirt which clung to his somewhat-skinny frame as if he could slow down time and make the trip last longer. But it was not to be.

The bike turned gently into the reverend’s driveway, the engine quieting to a purr and then silencing altogether as Charlie parked, hopping stiffly off the bike and allowing Lovejoy to follow. Tim peeled off the helmet, unaware and uncaring that his hair had flattened against his head during the ride, setting it down on the seat of the bike and leading the way up to the doorstep. The hybrid followed, albeit with hesitation, not venturing up and onto the porch step, even as Lovejoy opened the front door, greeted with a dark, lonely front hallway.

“Make sure you get dry and warm,” Charlie said from behind him, his voice muted and lacking the earlier eager energy that he’d had when they’d left for the shore. Lovejoy didn’t look back, nodding and opening the door wider, prepared to go in and shut it behind him. Charlie had clearly found places to stay. He didn’t need Tim anymore.

But-

As the door seemed to creak to a close behind the reverend who disappeared into the house, Charlie turned away with a gentle exhale. He’d spent the long drive back preparing himself for the disappointment of pretending as though the night had never happened. Resignation was all he had left as he drifted back over to the bike. Lifting up the helmet, he stared into the visor for a moment, seeing his tired, weary expression staring back at him in the reflection.

You’re a fool, Charlie Dean Walker.

“Wait,” called a voice from behind him. Charlie’s ears twitched with curiosity, turning to see that Lovejoy hadn’t quite shut the door yet. The hybrid blinked, confused.

“...It’s too late for you to be driving around looking like that,” Tim said in his usual chastising tone, though his eyes betrayed his harsh words.

They were pleading. Desperate.

“Come in and let me throw them in the wash. Otherwise they’ll never get clean, knowing you.”

Charlie stood upright, staring at Lovejoy in disbelief. He knew an implication when he heard one. And this time… he really didn’t need to be asked twice. Placing the helmet back on the bike, he pulled the key from the ignition and carried it up with him to the porch. Hesitant, at that first step, he fought the urge to run. But here it was. The invitation that he’d wanted. He knew that Lovejoy would not ask him to stay just to toss him back into the basement.

This was something different.

Something new.

Something… exciting.

Oh, he was still a fool. And he always would be. But Charlie chased his foolhardy desires up those steps, snaking his way into the front hallway of the Lovejoy residence and disappearing behind the door.