Nov 28- China Myth Buster 2: Chinese Girls Are Easy
It seems rather unnatural for a woman of my age to not write on the topic of love life. So in this MB post, I will address the age-old question: are Chinese girls easy?
For the past 3 years, this post has accumulated 21,000 views, and has continuously been the most read post on the Beijinger, the active expat web community with 200,000 registered users. (I hope to write on the Beijinger later. It is a fascinating place, an integral and inseparable portion of your life in Beijingâfor better or for worse.) âWhy are Chinese girls so easy to âyou-know-what?ââ OP is so curious as to why he gets so much more than he would at home. Hold your horses there, though. When did âChinese girls are easyâ become a fact?
Like the MB1 post, I think we should first ask which Chinese people we are talking about. Most of the men who tell me âChinese girls are easyâ have a few things in common, which isnât a random sample. Perhaps they missed Statistics 1 in college.
Where do most expat men and Chinese women meet? Majority of the times, they meet in Sanlitun bar street. Or the clubs near Gongti. Or similar venues in Wudaokou, the college town. I donât think this sampling of girls is very random. Most people go to these areas looking to have fun. Alcohol is involved and inhibitions are lowered. Unless one went to bars every night and lived in the bar district back in U.S., comparing two experiences would be unfair. The correct conclusion to draw should be âgirls you meet at bars are easyâ not âChinese girls are easy.â
Forbidden Fruit/ Catholic School Girl Effect
Remember your first drink? Were you legal? Probably not. Iâm sure the lack of legality made it extra rewarding and exhilarating. This is human nature. We want things we canât have. Do I really have to write more clichĂ©s?
Hooking up, especially one-night stands, is not an honorable thing in traditional culture. (Side noteâI find China to be a lot less strict than Korea probably because 1. Chinese students move out from home when they go to University and 2. the one child policy makes everyone be more responsible.) Interracial/ intercultural relationship is another tantalizing forbidden fruit. So being promiscuous with a western guy is naturally a thrilling idea.
Many western males have Chinese girlfriends. I daresay most do. The girlfriends live with them, cook for them, care for them, and clean for them. My friends boast to me about this âlive-in nanny/girlfriendâ option as if they are getting a bargain Iâm missing out on. These relationships are so common that it fuels the myth of Chinese girls having low standards. I must admit these relationships are a bit weird. But itâs neither foreign nor novel. One party provides the income and the other looks after the house.
Another common form of relationship is the âlanguage partnerâ type. The western male may enjoy the fact that he can be emotionally detached and independent and still reap the benefits with a âlanguage partnerâ relationship. But this give-and-take isnât a Chinese concept. Itâs just two people filling each otherâs needs. Some Chinese girls want to learn English, and some western males want girls with minimum effort. Itâs just comparative advantage.
I hope I shed some light on the love life in Beijing, where East and West blend with a sprinkle of hormones. I do not think all relationships consist of cut and dry factors listed above. Iâve seen true love in Beijing. However, propagating a skewed assumption that âChinese girls are easyâ without bothering to understand the complexities in the equation worries me.Â