characters: mafia!sirius black, princess potter!reader, prince!james potter, prince!remus lupin, bodyguard!lily evans, secret agent!regulus (unrelated to sirius in this au), mercenary!peter pettigrew
series warnings: possible blood and violence, non-canon characters and places, no magic, time lapses between parts, non-conventional viewing of monarchy and other social systems, mafia characters, dirty business, love triangle, allusion to the prequel I have in the works as well
series summary: the second generation of royal potters and lupins have to face the new reign alongside a resurrected mafia force, mercenaries creeping out of the past, constant threats to not only the crown but their lives and the princess' search for peace at all costs lands her in the middle of an epic love triangle between a dangerous mafia boss and a prince who has cast himself away from his throne.
chapter one- when your parents go missing and hoards of people are trying to get into the palace to hurt you and your brother, you have no choice but to go and get help from the last person your parents would have you be associated with
chapter two- regulus confronts you about going to see sirius alone, your parents being home forces you to lie about how you solved the crisis in their absence and even amid damage control you're still thinking about sirius, seems he's thinking about you too
chapter three- james has to speak at the post-crisis press conference which forces you to come face to face with other royals, one of whom you hadn't seen since he broke your heart as a teenager, an unexpected visitor at the conference sends everyone running in terror and makes you realize just how dangerous of a world your mother has left for you to inherit (coming soonâŠ)
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warnings: mafia!sirius, secret agent!regulus (not related to sirius in this au), prince!james, princess!reader, potter!reader, bodyguard!lily, future prince!remus- when I tell you I want to make this a series sooo badly, I've so many ideas
summary: when your parents go missing and hoards of people are trying to get into the palace to hurt you and your brother, you have no choice but to go and get help from the last person your parents would have you be associated with
There was a vibrant hum in the palace as you walked down the stairs, hearing aggravated groans filled with words that you simply knew theyâd have swallowed had you already been in the room. You expected no less in your parentsâ absence, everyone wanting to have their say in managing the situation at the gate, nearly hundreds of men and women gathering in angry hoards as they tugged at fencing, threw at windows, and cursed into the air. There were many opinions, always were, however, a queen and her husband missing and leaving her children to command her country while she was indisposed, prompted all the more than usual.
The door to your motherâs office opened from inside, strange faces meeting you as you stepped into the doorway, a silence shivering over the small space as James sighed, almost relived as men backed away from the corner, theyâd talked him into, merely bowing their heads in acknowledgment of your presence.
âAh,â he began and brushed his shirt into place as he nodded towards you. âLittle sister, I assume youâve come to enlighten us on the only right way to handle our little predicament?â he mused, and you knew his tone to have a familiar mix of sincerity yet belittlement to it.
Your brother was an odd creature, unlike either of your parents, unlike you for that matter. Never one for the politics of your home, the weight of your family, much rather cooped up in his room with his paintings, heâd have himself starved yet inspired instead of sitting about the throne dealing with issues of state. He was wise in his personal endeavors, but foolish in his belief that the Potter name held no purpose in his life, despite your shared responsibilities heâd always managed to twist your lives to benefit his own, though admirable for some, it left you plastered in his misfitting shoes.
âConsider the problem already solved,â You began and as if on cue, Lily came stumbling into the room behind you, momentarily stealing the menâs attention before demanding eyes fell back onto you. âThough Iâm sure my parents appreciate council being offered so graciously to their children, I can assure you that we are capable of managing our own affairs,â You explained and cleared your throat as you stepped aside, hands folded in front of you as you waited for them to understand your request.
âI think what my sister is far too kindly trying to say, is that our mother fairs well without a bunch of old men telling her what to do and so will we,â James agreed and with a tired shrug he plumped down onto the leather office chair, gesturing the gaping men out of the room with an outstretched hand as he smiled at you. âSo, whatâre you going to do?â he asked once the room had cleared, assuming youâd miss the way his gaze lingered but a second too long on the woman who hovered at your side, hand resting on her gun halter as she looked at her feet.
âWhat I always do,â you informed him, allowing an arrogant smile to tilt into your lips, knowing it had no place there yet having no control over it all the same. âClean up your mess.â
It was not long before you were pulling your coat around your body, ignoring the warnings that Lily was mumbling, a well-known mantra much like the one sheâd heard from Regulus when he was training her to be your guard and much like you did to him, you paid the words no mind. You pulled the hood over your head as you reread the map on your phone to guide you in your escape, feet leading you past the staff rooms, through the fire escape that led you right into the hidden gardens where James thought he could smoke in secret.
âPrincess, your parents wouldnât approve of this,â Lily whispered, peering around the lawn as you opened the hidden latch that was made by the very person you were running to see. âNow is not the time to take this risk, not when theyâre not here to get you out of trouble.â
âI have no choice, you know that, and theyâd know that as well,â you bargained, knowing she had no intentions of making you stay when she followed you out of the gate and to the outside, the shouting and stomping growing louder as the two of you looked around for the car that heâd sent for you.
Not a word more was exchanged on the way from the palace, familiar apprehensive looks shared as the driver kept his eyes on the road, only looking down when his phone chimed with a text from the man in question, you presumed. You were unnervingly accustomed to the entire ordeal, knowing that despite the risk you were taking, the reward would be far greater, worth much more as you considered your choices. Lily was right when she spoke about your parents. You were making your own bed, as theyâd taught you to, but theyâd never approve of who you were inviting into it. You thought youâd have more time, time to butter them up to what was shaping up to be a yearlong conversation in hope for peace, but youâd never accounted for riots at your front door or death threats with blood stains thrown through your window.
The car eased to a still in front of the cold brick building, a hand on your back guiding you out of the street, away from wondering eyes as you looked back to see if Lily was close behind, the route was no different than before, the unhappy glares and whispered musings of disapproval being of no bother as you waited to be taken to his door.
âPrincess,â a voice snarled, and you had no restraint as a frustrated breath left your lips, your mission was brought to a stop as a man stumbled into your way. âItâs been quite a while since we entertained royalty on this side of town,â he noted and you mustered a look of faux surprise, shaking yourself from the grip on your back as you looked him up and down.
âThat might be true, but I am not here as royalty.â
âAye? Who are you here as then?â he persisted and you scoffed, knowing that by the sudden silence that sauntered into the air the man in question was not far from the little scene thatâd been formed, disrupting his time.
âMy friend,â the thick accent fled through your senses as though it filtered through your veins, his frame begging your gaze to drift to him and it obliged, always did, a teasing smirk on his lips as he looked down at you from atop the stairs. âDoes anyone have a problem with that?â he prompted, and it was as though the simple words held piles of threats as the men separated to make room for you to walk.
âPrincess,â Lily gave a frustrated scoff as she was stopped at the foot of the stairs. âBe careful,â she insisted before you followed the man of the house to the office that youâd spent many nights hiding from the world, debating a settlement for families only known as foes.
âSirius,â you sighed, closing the door behind you and smiling when he pushed himself onto the empty desk that sat askew in the corner of the bare room, his eyes trailed slowly over your face, trying his best to decipher why you were there without you saying anything, he had a frustrating habit of doing so quite successfully. âI need a favour,â you breathed after a second that seemed to last forever, squirming slightly under his gaze despite it being far from strange.
âI assumed as much,â he teased, nodding for you to go on as you walked towards him, tugging the hood from your head, fingers moving to ease everything back into place.
âThere are people rioting in front of my home, threatening us, promising to kill us,â you began and stilled right at his side, looking down at the city as it lay in the streets, cars pulling up and then pulling away after mere minutes, a notion that you wouldâve questioned in the past had you not learned to keep your nose from his business.
âI saw,â he leaned back against the wall to see you again, no doubt missing the smile that dipped into your mouth as he proved without much prompt that he cared at least slightly if you had managed to escape unharmed. âHow did you get out?â
âSame way you get in.â
âClever girl,â he tutted, and youâd have laughed at him if you werenât to be in his debt in the future. âWhat exactly do you want me to do, hmm? Riots at the palace seem more like a job for the police, no?â
âTheyâre wearing your name, Sirius.â
You didnât know how long you were supposed to pause after that. You were somewhat expecting him to jump to his own defense, half expecting him to accuse you of mistrusting him, yet you knew neither was to happen. Trust was a rather strong word to use for whatever the relationship was that you had. You knew he was true to his word, knew he would not allow you to come to any harm and though your power was much less than his own, youâd try to do the very same for him. Though beyond all of that, you knew that as many troubles lay with your name, there were many that laid with his own. He was a criminal, after all, some of the worst of his kind and you were in his home, begging him to help you when you knew it would earn you heaps of problems in turn. Your mother would have your head, sheâd have his too. She didnât take out his family, his entire line of kin just for you to allow their kind right back into your lives.
âTheyâre not mine,â he offered, and his hand settled on the table next to yours, tilting his head to see what you were looking at, humming as if to acknowledge your train of thought. âThatâs part of our little agreement, is it not? Our little settlement of peace? I may not harm your family as revenge for what your mother did to mine, and you let me make a quick buck off taking out the bad guys the police miss,â he sighed at that, noticing the way you rolled your eyes at his almost mocking tone as he mimicked words that youâd spoken out of serious intents to do good. âThose men are trying to hurt you, Y/n, if they were mine then Iâd have them tied and beaten already, you understand that donât you?â
âOf course, I do,â you sighed, and though you should be very much appalled by his words, you found an odd sense of comfort in his reassurance, smiling with him as he nodded at you.
âGood. Now, do you want me to take care of it for you?â he asked and needed no answer to know that that was exactly what youâd come here for. âI sent men down as soon as you texted me. The gate will be cleared by the time you get home,â he explained and chuckled softly at the shock that sifted onto your face. âYou think Iâm not the first one to know when youâre in trouble, little bird? Though, Iâll admit, you were very brave coming all the way here, would not have known you were nervous had it not been for those,â he informed you as he pointed to your shaking hands, youâd hoped your grip on the table wouldâve hidden it, but it seems you were very wrong, warmth spreading across your cheeks. âYouâre shaping up to be quite the leader, you know, your mother would be proud.â
âSo would your father.â
âOh, I would not say that, bowing to a Potter is what he regrets most.â
âIâm sure,â you smiled, looking up to the door when Lily stumbled through it, just like before, the same look on her face as she looked between you and Sirius.
âYour parents were just brought home by Regulus and the rest of the CIA,â she explained, holding the phone out to show you the picture of them arriving at the palace and you had to shake your head at the timing, Siriusâ words being anything but empty as there was not a single soul out on front of the place, barely any evidence left behind of the reason for your visit except for abandoned signs and makeshift weapons. Â
âI have a new car waiting for you outside,â Sirius announced and shrugged when you looked at him with what any normal person would describe as awe, though youâd never dare to label it as such, merely an appreciation for his capabilities. âIâll call when you get home.â
characters: mafia!sirius, secret agent!regulus (not related to sirius in this au), prince!james, princess!reader, potter!reader, bodyguard!lily, future prince!remus
series warnings: blood and violence, non-canon characters and places, no magic, time lapses between parts, non-conventional viewing of monarchy and other social systems, mafia characters, semi-legal things, love triangle
summary: regulus confronts you about going to see sirius alone, your parents being home forces you to lie about how you solved the crisis in their absence and even amid damage control you're still thinking about sirius, seems he's thinking about you too
previous chapter | series masterlist
You half expected them to be waiting for you, ready with the full set of questions they usually have you run through, your mom with James, your dad with you, conveniently working to your advantage even though theyâve yet to figure that out. Your mother always got James to squeal, just the right amount of pressure and heâd sing like a bird, his own praises of course, some pile of lies about how he saved the day, made it all work out to his good without the real details, which youâd fill up for him with your dad, despite the knock to your own pride. However, the palace was eerily quiet when you and Lily arrived, the staff at hand and ready as always but your parents werenât waiting in the dining room after youâd trekked your way there, James was eating alone, the table set yet empty still but there was some food missing from what wouldâve been their plates.
âLook at you, home just in time for your warm welcome,â he spoke over a nearly empty glass of wine, messily setting the glass down next to his plate. âHowâd you do it, little sister?â it was a slurred question, one heâd probably been pondering since you left and you were ready as always too, prepared with a line-up of stories fit for the situation but your curiosity got the better of you, you wanted this conversation to end quickly and find them soon after. Whatever theyâre flawed parental endeavours, your parents were torturously insistent on having dinner together every night it was possible, especially after long trips away from their children, especially after a crisis.
âRegulus,â the easiest lie, also the one that prompted the least number of questions, you didnât expect him to scoff, didnât expect him to smirk at you either and you were just about to question that when you heard the man in questionâs voice, followed only by your fatherâs.
âI heard my name,â Regulus looked as handsome as ever, more so in his uniform than you remember from growing up and mostly just seeing him prancing around in a loose shirt and jeans, your dad was smiling so brightly youâd think he hasnât seen him in ages though really you all saw him the day they left, still you believe age was making him softer than before, youâd never tell him that. Regulus smiled over at you as well, his face distorted momentarily as your dad forced you into a hug, a quick kiss placed to your cheek as you just barely caught the little nod that Regulus gave you, it said enough, it promised that Sirius came through in more ways than one. âGood to see you again, Princess, heard my friend helped you out,â Your dad didnât let go, didnât ask for confirmation either but you knew if your mother was around that wouldnât be the case.
âIâm sorry Iâm late, I got stuck in traffic on the way back- canât believe you beat me home,â you lied, gripped your dadâs waist as one last welcome home before he let you go and drifted right back to Regulusâ side. âAnd all of you at that, actually, whereâs mom?â you had to wonder if Regulus had caught her up yet too or was that your task to do.
âSheâs waiting for you in the kitchen,â Your dad wasnât one to pretend he didnât know she spent the whole time away simply waiting to be back to gossiping and eating the nightâs dessert right from the fridge before the boys got to it, the only little bit of royal rebellion she had left in her after all this time. âLeave some for the rest of us, wonât you,â he joked, and you smiled, a familiar thing, it felt good having them home after all, despite the drama and the lies that was ahead of you.
âActually, can I have a word with you first?â the question was for you but it was aimed at your dad still, he nodded, didnât think much of it really, mumbled something about having the server set up some new plates for him and Regulus who took hold of your arm gently to guide you as far away from curious ears as he could without looking suspicious. âWhat were you thinking?â
Honestly you shouldâve expected him to push back, even if you were the one to set up the agreement between Regulus and Sirius, Regulus was very serious about never speaking to him alone, without protection- had he only known how common that was, how many nights youâd snuck off right into danger without a single consideration about what might go wrong. It started out as a deal for peace and peace was definitely still the goal, but there was something intriguing about Sirius, about a man brought up in the role of his family, no choice, not really and somehow there still seemed to be so much more to him, behind the title and the danger and the threat of his very being. Maybe you related to him in the most mundane way, carrying a burden that was yours way before you were even born, fighting a battle that was started even long before that.
âOh, donât start, alright, Lily was with me, and we were careful,â you checked the door, made sure he closed it properly just in case your whispered words werenât soft enough. âYou being here, saying that to my dad, thatâs more cause for suspicion than anything else,â you were right, he knew that too, and logic couldnât explain why he said what he said, he just wanted to show you that he knew, show you that he was unhappy being cut out when you were only ever supposed to be the one in the middle.
âIâm sorry,â he pulled a hand through his hair, rolled his eyes into the air as if annoyed with himself, for a man who taught you to think through every action, every word, he wasnât doing a very good job living by that. âListen, I donât like the idea of you being too comfortable around him, around his people- heâs helping us now, but donât confuse his willingness for alliance.â
âI know,â you did, so why you were annoyed at hearing it was beyond you. âHeâs a means to an end, Regulus, I know that and so does he- I needed help, he was willing to provide that, donât confuse my ability to play at your game for naivety.â
You caught him on that and there was more to be said but your mother was calling for you, your brother was hallway through another drunken rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody sung at the top of his lungs and your phone was burning a hole in your pocket, begging you to text the very person you swore you could not care less about.
âIf your mother finds out now, before weâre ready, itâll ruin everything, weâll cause a war.â
âAnd if she finds out youâre the one making me hide it from her, there will be much more than a war for you to worry about,â you had grown tired of this conversation, wanted to be anywhere else. âGoodnight, Regulus, it was good seeing you again, but we have a system for these types of conversations, donât bring this up in the palace again.â
Fresh off what anyone would consider a victory, you were more annoyed than relieved, there was something to be said about being a powerful woman in this family. Your mother had taken a crown meant only for her corrupt father and built a country up from ruin, ended the reign of the mafia threatening to destroy the entire monarchy and sheâd done so while raising two children and facing the constant ridicule of marrying her military advisor and still- beyond all logic, woman still had to earn their place in this palace. It was frustrating, the only person whoâd yet to question your abilities was Sirius Black, the very man you should stay as far away from as possible.
âThereâs my girl,â youâd found your mom crossed legged on the counter, she was about as far away from a royal example as you could get, yet still she never looked out of place, even with remnants of chocolate pudding smudged on her chin and your fatherâs dress shirt thrown over her sleep pants way before it would be acceptable for the staff to see her as such.
âMom,â she opened her arms for a hug, one hand balancing her bowl, the other taking you into her chest just like she did when you were a kid and you laughed lightly at the sight of her, used the sleeve of your shirt to wipe her face, earning a warm smile from her lips as well. âIâm glad youâre home safe,â what else could you say, truly it wasnât the first time your parents had disappeared without a word or warning, and you considered it might not be the last, while you considered your future, they were still putting out fires from other parts of their past. Â âWe missed you.â
âI hear James saved the day,â you both scoffed at the same time, laughed because of it, of course sheâd never fall for the pretty tales told in her absence, if only she knew. You slipped onto the counter with her, took the extra spoon she offered and scooped a large bite from her bowl. âThank you,â you hummed around your spoon, shrugged it off quickly, as much as it did your ego good, you didnât want her to create an opportunity for you to lie to her. âYour dad and I are very proud, you know, canât imagine it was easy having to deal with this mess just the two of you.â
âWell, I mean we had help.â
âRegulus, of course,â she wasnât technically wrong so you saw no reason to try and correct her. âWell still, dove, you were very brave,â the words sent your mind adrift and as if his ears were burning all the way across town your phone vibrated in your pocket, two times, just like youâd set it to and while she was reaching over the counter for some more sprinkles you couldnât help stealing a glance to see what it said. âThink your dad would want some cherries with his?â you nodded, hummed, youâd think you were entirely focused on her but really you were going over the sentence a few more times in your head.
From Padfoot:Â Glad you got home safe, little bird, Iâll let you know how Iâm planning to collect my debt soon.
characters: mfia!sirius, secret agent!regulus (not related to sirius in this au), prince!james, princess!reader, potter!reader, bodyguard!lily, prince!remus
warning: blood, shooting
summary: james has to speak at a press conference which forces you to come face to face with other royals, one of whom you haven't seen since he broke your heart as a teenager, plus an unexpected visitor at the conference sends everyone running in terror
previous chapter | series masterlist
You could hear the commotion all the way from Jamesâ room, right down the hall and though you couldnât see it you could picture the poor maids scurrying out of his way, and with a subtle look to Lily and a scoff, she opened the door just in time for him to burst through it.
âMorning, James, sleep well?â he didnât care for your teasing, at least five ties draped over his one arm, the coloured paper cards of his speech in the other and you wanted to laugh, but it wasnât nearly as amusing as it should be when he frowned at you.
âYou joke? Canât you see Iâm in the midst of a crisis?â If only he could fathom the true meaning of the word, still, you stepped down from the little podium in front of your mirror and smiled at the stylist to dismiss her, context clues aside, you didnât think his scene was entirely fashion-related. You had a feeling the drinks heâd drowned himself in the night before was getting the better of him this morning, though heâd not admit that and you knew better than to point it out to him. So, you handed his speech to Lily instead, biting your lip to hide the satisfied smile when you realized that her smudged lip gloss was the very same shade that shimmered on the corner of your brotherâs lips.
âCalm down, would you, youâve done the same speech at least a thousand times,â you tutted, picked the sage green tie to complement his eyes and match the lines of the intricate pattern on your dress, it reminded you of something your mother used to say about unity, how looking the part was half a step closer to being it. âYou use a whole bunch of fancy words to hide the fact that the country is actually in danger and then just briefly glance over the fact that you are taking yet another year to find yourself instead of being crowned in momâs place,â the last tug to force the knot into place was just a little too rough by the way he stumbled, rolled his eyes, that mess of curls on his head clearly not combed yet as it fell about his face.
âI donât see you stepping up for a shiny crowning title riddled with responsibility,â he bit back, and you scoffed, moving on to fix the collar of his blazer and then straighten the crest pinned on his pocket.
âThatâs because, big brother, Iâm already doing all the work without the crown and the title and the praise,â you had no sense being bitter about it, youâd rather pull the strings from the shadows than stand there in the spotlight telling lies and not getting anything done in the process. James yawned, youâd think heâd planned it perfectly to your comment but really you had a feeling he was just barely awake and stumbling around with his big boy feelings on his sleeve as always, hence the moaning and groaning you were so very accustomed to. âNow, go down to Dobey in the kitchen and ask him for one of his magical hangover cures, and then on your way back, have Dad slap some colour into those cheeks of yours so the press doesnât write another article comparing you to the walking dead.â
âSometimes I think you forget that Iâm a full four years older than you,â you didnât prove him wrong much when you took the crumbled piece of fabric poking out of his pocket to wipe the lip-gloss from his lips, both him and Lily growing flustered, Jamesâ cheek heating up under your touch and Lily looking away just a tad too quickly for it to seem casual.
âHow could I forget when you take every petty chance to remind me.â
With a lot of grumbling and yelling, mostly from James though some from your mother, youâd managed to get out of the palace, it was a whole ordeal even just getting out to the palace grounds, there were too many people for such a short notice press conference. Still, you linked arms with Lily who had a steady grip on her gun from over her blazer, just in case, and whispered lightly about whoever one of you saw in the crowd first, entirely out of character, but Lily has always been your friend first and your guard second, only she did a very good job of acting like the second was by choice and not by pay.
âDonât look now,â she whispered, and you knew your part, kind smile and dainty steps as you looked over the people and not at them, the perfect shot to portray that classy princess they so wished you to be, but that didnât mean you werenât excited to hear who she was looking at. Lily had a way of disguising her surveying for gossip as surveying for danger which had her look the perfect unsuspecting spotter. âI canât believe they came out of hiding long enough to grace us with their presence,â the intrigue left your system in a second, she didnât need to say much more for you to piece together exactly who she was talking about and it made your body run cold.
âThe Lupins are here?â you werenât sure how she heard you, you spoke so softly you barely heard yourself. Maybe it was just his parents, theyâd been talking to your parents through letters for months now, maybe they just stopped by to see them quickly and theyâd run back to their little island on the other side of the globe. âIs heâŠâ
âYes,â her voice was softer now too and were your mother not leading the bunch of you directly to the podium for James to speak, you wouldâve run right back into that palace until they were on a plane and you were assured they werenât ever coming back. âHeâs looking at you, though he looks a right mess- could at least have ironed his suit before stepping out in the public eye after so long.â
You couldnât believe it, Remus Lupin. The sheer audacity he had to come back here after all this time of complete silence, no letters, no explanations, just left you to try and go on with your life after what heâd done. It was always just the four of you, him and James, you and Lily, youâd rarely spent a second apart before things changed. Honestly, making you fall in love with him was one thing, abandoning you when you dared to acknowledge it was another and you had the right mind to knock him right off his feet the first chance you got. He left you as a naĂŻve, lovesick teenager, and now when youâd finally moved past that, rewritten yourself, he had the nerve to show up to your home and make you rethink everything and you hadnât even set your eyes on him yet, spoken to him yet.
âBreathe,â Lily reminded you, a soft squeeze to your hand when she took hold of it where it rested on her arm, aside from the letters in your journal youâd burned years ago, Lily was the only one who knew how your heart used to beat for his grace, the pompous bastard that is Prince Remus Lupin, so unlike his father is was laughable. âHeâs sitting on the far right, just look straight ahead and youâll miss him,â she handed you over to a very confused James, hoping that a look from Lily would be enough to explain why his usually calm and collected sister looked like she was about to faint right into his arms.
You shook your head, plastered on a pretty smile, and gripped the podium for dear life, thank goodness James couldnât talk himself through a speech at a reasonable pace, words rushing out of his mouth faster than his mind could plan them- you wouldnât have to pretend for too long. You considered yourself to have changed quite a bit since all of you were kids, youâd stayed the same in the parts that counted but the parts that hurt, the ones that made it hard to go on, youâd left those in the past, traded them in for attempts at bravely, traded your meekness for willingness, pushing for more- you werenât completely similar to the girl who felt destroyed when Remus left for Hogwarts to get away from you, yet you felt her aching inside of you all the same upon knowing he was here.
An odd thing, all of this, trying to be brave while allowing the weakness in you a place to flow freely and have its moment. Yesterday you were talking to the leader of the mafia surrounded by horrendous, murderous people and you felt stronger than all of them, today you were surrounded by noblemen, royalty, family and a man youâd known for years only as the boy who broke your heart and you felt small enough to be picked up and taken away by the very breeze that shook through the trees around you.
You allowed your eyes to search for his, steal a guilty glance despite how much worse it could make you feel, and you tried your best to hide your reaction. He looked the same, you didnât know how that was possible, how his eyes so beautiful they still begged you to get lost in him, how you could look past his own surprise at seeing you and in a second experience every single good and bad feeling heâd ever made you feel all at once.
There was movement behind him, you were distracted but you noticed it, everyone was so focussed on Jamesâ talking and your parents standing behind you and the appearance of the Lupins, why anyone would be walking around didnât make any sense. You thought you saw a face that shouldnât be there, someone out of place, someone youâd seen only in darkness so how it was allowed in the light you werenât sure, so you dismissed it, shot it down instead of looking to Lily to have her check and maybe if Remus wasnât looking at you and James wasnât talking and the idea of Sirius sending texts to your phone stuck in your room wasnât consuming you, things might have turned out different. Instead, a horrific sound filled the air of the garden, people scurried, James was pulled away, you swore youâd seen that face before, and the pain of the past couldnât measure up to the feeling of your flesh ripping apart or the coldness that filled your veins as you fell back into Lilyâs arms or the surreal wetness of your own blood dripping onto your fingers. You couldnât think with all the noise, couldnât breathe from pain, couldnât see from the shock but you knew for sure that there was about to be hell to pay.
It was silent and unthinkably loud all at once, the only voice that was cutting through was your motherâs, she was the only calm one, giving orders, calling for people and then you saw Lily- she looked so worried, so guilty even though it wasnât her fault, as soon as you could fathom the idea of speaking, youâd tell her that. Youâd tell your mother about what youâd been doing behind her back. Tell James to stop messing around and properly take Lily on a date. Tell Remus to go to hell.
Surely you could think yourself out of this one, reason yourself out of it, but the truth was it hurt like hell, and not once, not since you started working with Sirius, did you think youâd be the one getting shot. Maybe you were naĂŻve, made friends with the wrong foe, you thought Sirius Black was the first in line to take out your family once he had the chance which is why you solved that problem but clearly there was someone bigger out there, someone who had no intentions of peace and unity and talking it through- if only they knew how much trouble theyâd just gotten you into.
Being shot, one of the worst kinds of pain, letting your mother down, that was just pure torture.