#second arrow

Once we understand the pain cycle, we can identify the parts we can work with and do something about. This often starts with naming the second arrow using a skill called mindfulness...

Start by recognizing what your inner critic is saying about your body...

Imagine what you might say next time you notice the second arrow. You could start with, “Oh, there’s that second arrow,” or “Wow, this is hard to catch. I’m doing that thing again where I criticize myself.”

Learn to shift your attention by replacing your inner critic with something compassionate. Take a breath or shift your body into a more relaxed posture.

I love the Buddhist concept of the Two Arrows:

The first arrow is the bad thing that happens to you. You can't control this arrow. It hits you and hurts.

The second arrow is defined by your reaction to the first arrow. You can control this arrow. It doesn't have to hit you.

Lesson: We can't control most of the negative events in life, but we can control our reactions to them. We can handle the second arrow.

Lissa Rankin on Impermanence

I just received this email from Lissa Rankin on impermanence. She talks about how resisting change as a cause for suffering. Resisting change is just like being hit with a second arrow, as the Buddha put it. He said that the first arrow is the one which causes an injury with its unavoidable pain and suffering. A second arrow would cause even more pain and suffering, but we often suffer more from…