Sebastian Smythe: How was your party night? Quinn Fabray: It was okay. Santana got flat out drunk and started crying. But we did get free drinks. Sebastian Smythe:  Emotional drunks are a buzzkill, but free drinks are always good. Quinn Fabray: Yeah and I pretty much opened myself up and got turned down. So...I will not drink again for a while. Sebastian Smythe:  Someone turned you down? They must be either very gay, or very stupid. Quinn Fabray: I went to Puck because hell I had sex with him before and he literally shut me down. All I can say about him is he can fuck himself for all I care.  Sebastian Smythe:  I'm going with the very stupid option. Also, you made a mistake going to someone you already know to get laid. It's always messy, and more trouble than it's worth that way. Quinn Fabray: Yeah I should have went home with a guy from the bar. It would have been quick and done.  Sebastian Smythe:  You should've. It would scratch that itch you had, and you wouln't even have to remember his name in the morning. Quinn Fabray: Fuck now I am screwed. A year of being untouched sucks Sebastian Smythe:  Take charge of it, then. Grab the next hot guy you see, pull him into a closet, and screw his brains out until you both can't see straight. Then kiss him goodbye, and go on with your day. Quinn Fabray: That would work but...all the guys I see on a daily basis is ugly.  Sebastian Smythe:  Of course, because you live in Lima. You don't want it to be someone you see every day anyways. Find someone else that you don't have to have strings attached. Quinn Fabray: Well the only place to find guys around here is the club or Dalton and I am kind of afraid what I might find in either place. \ Sebastian Smythe:  Why would you be afraid? It's all about control, sweetheart. You set the rules, the pace, and let them know who is boss. Quinn Fabray: Yeah but I really don't want to catch anything Sebastian Smythe:  Again, haven't they taught you about condoms? They are this nifty thing that you put on a dick that keeps you from getting pregnant, and catching nasty things. Quinn Fabray: Yeah I know what condoms are Sebastian. I wasn't bor yesterday Sebastian Smythe:  Good, then use them. Having fun doesn't mean you have to be stupid, and put yourself in danger. Should I FedEx you some? Quinn Fabray: FedEx me someone? Really like a mail order dick in a box? Yeah no thank you I will go to the club and grab a hot guy myself Sebastian Smythe:  I mean condoms, but if they did have dicks in a box I'd send it your way. I didn't take you for the dildo type. Personally, I don't like them, but to each their own. Quinn Fabray: Yeah no, I don't like fake rubber dicks up in my lady bit. I would have the real thing Sebastian Smythe:  My thoughts exactly, except without the lady parts. A rubber cock just doesn't do the same that a real person would. Quinn Fabray: I mean why would anyone use one? It is always cold, you always have to lube the fucker. Also you have to do all the work. Give me a drunk hot guy that knows what he is doing.  Sebastian Smythe:  It's almost as bad as masturbation. I'm all for relieving sexual tension, but why waste an orgasm that way? I'd rather just get off with a person under me. Quinn Fabray: See now you are talking. Man I need to hit the club again tonight and get some Sebastian Smythe:  You're making me want to break out of here to come with you. I haven't been out in a week. Quinn Fabray: Well like I said before I would help you break out Sebastian Smythe: Trust me, that sounds like a lot of fun. Quinn Fabray: Are you sure you don't want me to bust you out tonight? because I am feeling invincible with this coffee in my system Sebastian Smythe:  Screw it. Let's do it. My roommate is asleep, and if I make it back before sun up then no one will know. Unless that asshole put a GPS implant in my buttcheek. Quinn Fabray: Great! I shall be over in ten then!  Sebastian Smythe:  Alright, let me get ready, and I'll meet you by the gate since I can't take my car. Quinn Fabray: Okay. this will be fun!