Clavis: You know, one would think with all of us younger siblings running around that you'd be a master at playing the big brother role by now. But surprisingly you are as inept at kinship as a stray kitten abandoned by its cluster in the gutter.
Chevalier: ...
Clavis: Yes, it is one domain you are glaringly incompetent in. Why, the twins have barely gotten their shoes wet but look at how skillfully they've taken Luke under their wing! A testament to the attention they gleaned from my expert fraternity, surely.
Chevalier: ...
Clavis: How unfortunate that the genius born once every thousand years cannot comprehend something as innate to the human experience as relation. And it's not as if you were lacking in exposure, either. Jin showers you with affection as readily as he does the rest of us. Surely some of his techniques rubbed off on you. Or would that fall under the category of "useless information not to bother to remember"? What a sad, wasted man you are, Chevalier Michel.
Chevalier: *raises hand and places it atop Clavis's head*
Clavis: ...
Chevalier: ...
Clavis: What is this? An attempt at a head pat? A perfect visual aid of what I've been saying, all form and no function. Remove your hand at once, it is insufferable. Easily the most revolting thing you have ever done in your life, and I've seen you—Ouch!
Claivs: ...Did you just—Ow! Stop hitting my head! And stop proving my point—Ayye! What are you doing?!
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Valerio: *gifted sweets and treats from servants around the palace*
Silvio: I hate him.
Valerio: *gifted bundles of roses imported from Rhodolite's finest gardens*
Silvio: I. Hate. Him.
Valerio: Big brother! Belle and I made you this bouquet of chocolate-covered roses. They're not professional-looking like the ones they make in Rhodolite, but we tried super hard. I hope you'll like them. And someday when I'm grown, I'll take you there and we can get authentic ones together!
Leon: Chevalier, it has come to my attention after reviewing your report that you intend to alter the trajectory of the budget we established for this year.
Chevalier: Indeed. After reviewing your report, I deemed it necessary to revise the destination of funds you allocated for our budget surplus to more appropriate ventures Rhodolite would actually benefit from.
Leon: You did this fully aware that I would reject your proposal upon first glance?
Chevalier: As did you. Our propositions differ on fundamental levels of duty and purpose. This altercation was inevitable, as are all our previous and future ones.
Leon: You are correct on one notion, Chevalier. Neither of our goals can ever come to fruition so long as the other exists to impede it. It is as simple as that; we cannot do both. One of us must concede to the other or we cannot move forward.
Chevalier: Then we have arrived at an impasse. It would be pointless to continue bickering at this juncture without third-party mediation. For now, we can only agree to disagree.
Leon: So it seems.
Leon & Chevalier: ...
Leon: You wanna grab a pizza or something?
Chevalier: Pizza.
Leon: Alright. How do you feel about meat lovers?
Chevalier: I am partial to stuffed crust.
Leon: Hey, we can do both!
Chevalier: Agreed.
And so, peace was restored to Rhodolite once more.
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Sariel: I shall speak with Prince Clavis at a later time, but this is another matter entirely.
Nokto: Whatever it is, it was Clavis, too. I double-guarantee it.
Jin: Relax, kiddo. You're not in trouble.
Sariel: Yes. Loathe I am to admit I have not been able to track down that miscreant all day, King Jin and I agreed this discussion is far, far too long overdue. And as it is your day off, now seemed the most opportune time to have it.
Nokto: ...In the kitchen?
Jin: We know you get hungry this time of day.
Nokto: Yeah, it's lunchtime. Can I at least eat my sandwich while we talk? It'll get cold.
Sariel: This won't take long. Prince Nokto, you are familiar with where babies come from?
Nokto: Never mind. Lost my appetite.
Jin: What Sariel meant to start with is sometimes babies show up as a surprise. And whether or not they were planned, families have to adapt.
Nokto: Am I being punished? I thought you said I wasn't in trouble.
Sariel: You are not being punished. We simply want to prepare you for the eventualities you will be facing now that the dynamic of the royal family has shifted.
Nokto: So... Jin's having a baby? Or wait *gasp* Sariel??
Jin: No one's having a baby. Well, there was one, but he showed up long after he was a baby.
Nokto: I already heard your life story a million times. Just because you're king now doesn't make it any grander, Grandet.
Sariel: Oh, enough teetering around the subject. We are talking about Prince Luke.
Nokto: Oh... He's having a baby?
Jin: No, Nokto. He is the baby. Well, he was anyway.
Nokto: Maybe you should look into getting glasses. And Sariel, you're long overdue for a new pair.
Sariel: *wipes his glasses then puts them back on* Prince Nokto, the point we are trying to make is, how do you feel about Prince Luke's coming to the palace?
Nokto: Uhm... fine, I guess?
Jin: Because it's totally natural for children to feel tension when a new kid joins the family.
Nokto: I'm not five. I'm okay with it. Really.
Sariel: Truly? Because you will notice palace resources diverted towards his development as a prince, although that in no way should affect you or your daily activities should you not want to get involved.
Jin: Of course, if you wanna get to know him better, we can always carve out time in his training for you two to hang out in town or wherever you want.
Sariel: And you won't have to worry about your workload increasing in this time. We have instructed Prince Chevalier to lighten your duties as we transition Prince Luke's introduction to your faction.
Jin: And the domestic faction will help out too, obviously. We just want you to know that just because there's a new little brother in the house, it doesn't mean you are valued or loved any less.
Nokto: Right. Is that all?
Sariel: Essentially. Any questions?
Nokto: Yeah, one. Why tell me all this now when Luke's been here for three months already?
Jin: Uh, well you know things were pretty chaotic with the Belle Selection when he first got here.
Sariel: And the aftermath with King Jin's coronation post the proceedings.
Jin: And all that miscellaneous political stuff that comes along, you know how it goes. But it was always on our mind to have this conversation with you. Totally.
Nokto: Mhm, and did you have it with all the others?
Sariel: Ah, no. But we can put it on the schedule.
Nokto: Sure. Are we done now?
Jin: You're sure you're doing okay, kiddo? How about we plan a day in town together next week? Just the two of us.
Nokto: No, no. I'm fine. Thanks for talking to me, I guess.
Sariel: Well, that is splendid. I believe we can mark this as a success, Your Majesty.
Jin: Definitely. Thanks for being cool with it, Nokto. Phew, my hands are still shaking. All the dads I talked to said it was one of the hardest conversations they had with their kids. I deserve some lunch after this.
Nokto: Here, take it. It's cold now, but whatever.
Sariel: Your generosity knows no bounds, Prince Nokto. Now, King Jin, let us quickly feast so that you may resume Prince Luke's tactical lessons while I hunt down that hellcat.
Nokto: Good luck with that.
Jin: Luck abound, Brother.
*Jin and Sariel leave.*
Nokto: Yeah, it's fine. It's fine. It's not like I was looking forward to a melty cheese sandwich with the last of the camembert on my day off. No, everything's fine. I'll just spend another half hour making a whole new—AAAAAHHHH!!
Clavis: Greetings, brother dear.
Nokto: Clavis! Who-? How-? Why-?
Clavis: One question at a time, Nokto. Don't be greedy.
Nokto: Fine. What are you doing in the preserves cabinet?
Clavis: Hmm, that will be a tough one to explain to one untrained in the sacred arts of trickery and wickedness. But if I had to summarize it in one statement, I regularly experiment meditating in different locations around the palace to stimulate new ideas for inventions and traps.
Nokto: So, you're stuck.
Clavis: Yes, quite common can one feel stuck going through the same motions day in and day out, which is why I highly recommend this technique. Diversity is the spice of life, as they say. Speaking of, you should try this spicy pepper jam by my left armpit. It smells divine. Just ignore my perspiration.
Nokto: Did King Highness shove you in there again? We told you to stop bothering him in confined spaces, it never works out well for you. Well, it never works out for you regardless of location, but at least outdoors we don't have to witness it.
Clavis: Goodness, no! Our King Jin would never stoop to such lowly behavior as tormenting his younger brother over something as insignificant as mistakenly mixing salt into his breakfast tea instead of sugar. No, no. Our eldest brother is a just and civil ruler who treats all his people with the same dignity and fairness as he does his family. Although, judging by your recent conversation, perhaps that may not necessarily be the case.
Nokto: Sounds like you need to find a better location to focus on your "meditating". Try the oven next time.
Clavis: You'll have to excuse my eavesdropping as support, dear boy. I only mention this out of concern. This is uncharted territory for you, but luckily you have your big brother's years of experience to guide you through it.
Nokto: What are you going on about? Neither of us ever lived through a coronation before. None of us did. That's the whole point of the Belle system.
Clavis: No, I'm talking about a much more significant event than that. Nokto, you're a big brother now.
Nokto: You're just now realizing this?
Clavis: Ergo, you are no longer the youngest.
Nokto: Yeah, so you can quit picking on me and go bother that Luke instead.
Clavis: Ergo, you have now joined the ranks of the middle children.
Nokto: Did you hit your head on the way in the cabinet or were you always this slow?
Clavis: Oh, my darling, deluded Nokto. They tried to let you down gently to assuage their own guilt, but Jin and Sariel were giving you the dreaded you're-no-longer-the-favorite talk. The more children a family has, you see, the deeper the pool of middle children grows. And I am sorry to say that Luke's sudden, yet heavily delayed, arrival has flung you straight into the deep end without swimming lessons.
Nokto: Don't worry, I'm quite used to pretending that you and I are not related by now. *Picks out a loaf of bread and starts making a new sandwich*
Clavis: You may not recognize the dangers that lurk the deep yet, my boy, but misfortune is never far from path a middle child swims. Comparison, competition, and coercion are always looming in the shadows.
Nokto: Already familiar with them, we're old friends.
Clavis: Yes, but then comes the identity crisis of fitting in with the other middles. Is he progressing faster? Should I have reached that milestone by now?
Nokto: We grew up together, Clavis. I know you were a late bloomer. Hey, pass me a berry jam.
Clavis: It was a calculated tactic to keep the rest of you younger boys from feeling intimidated, and you're welcome for that. I can only reach raspberry and blueberry, which do you want?
Nokto: Surprise me. And I'm to assume the rest of your behavior throughout the years was all carefully calculated as well?
Clavis: Indeed! I'm so glad you noticed. Excessive planning was the cornerstone to me reaching the point where I am today.
Nokto: Stuck in a cabinet.
Clavis: Meditating in a cabinet. And my life would not have turned out so smoothly if I had not begun adapting to middle child life from the moment I learned I was to be an older brother.
Nokto: Excuse me? You couldn't even walk then.
Clavis: Excuse you. You weren't even alive then.
Nokto: King Highness told me so. *places sandwich in oven*
Clavis: Did he also tell you of the errant joy I experienced when I first laid eyes upon my darling little Leon? The subsequent resolve I reached when I passed the torch of precious youngest child to his tiny baby hands? The vow I swore to be the best big brother and prince for him and all my future younger brothers?
Nokto: You couldn't talk back then either. Wish I was around then instead of now.
Clavis: I see you are desperate to reach the core of my advice. Very well, I can appreciate a man who works efficiently.
Nokto: On that note, my sandwich is done. Have fun at the chiropractor. *starts to leave*
Clavis: That's alright. Go on living your life bereft of this information. As long as Licht is knowledgeable, I suppose that is enough to cover your inadequacy.
Nokto: *stops and sighs* What information?
Clavis: Why, only the most important truth any middle child knows. The harsh reality of our existence that binds us all, no matter the age, country, or—
Nokto: Get on with it, my sandwich is getting cold.
Clavis: Fine. It is erasure.
Nokto: What?
Clavis: You heard me. In losing your spot as the doted-on youngest, you are condemned to the club of the forgotten middle children with the rest of us.
Nokto: Now I know you've got brain damage. All you guys are way too lunatic to forget.
Clavis: Ahh, but that is the remedy, you see. Constantly faced with the disadvantage of our extremely volatile existences, us middle children have adapted through sheer, unadulterated stubbornness to make names for ourselves in a world hellbent on wiping us out. And that is my advice to you, dearest Nokto. You can no longer rely on your title and charms alone to stay relevant. Find something that will make you stand out in the flock and stick to it.
Nokto: I am the Seventh Prince of Rhodolite. The blasted cursed twin. The ambassador to the continent. The foxy and suave playboy. What more would I need to do to "stand out"?
Clavis: Well, we are all princes. Licht is also a troubled twin. Our entire faction is technically ambassadors. And Jin takes the title of "playboy" to the ladies' room. You need to find something that is uniquely you.
Nokto: You say that as if you all have it figured out already.
Clavis: To be fair, we did have years more experience at being middle children than you. Licht knows it with his mastery of the lone wolf with a heart-of-gold persona. Chevalier is the insufferable know-it-all. Yves is the adorable multi-talented artist. And I am—
Nokto: The idiot who gets stuck in cabinetry.
Clavis: Meditating.
Nokto: I'll let you get back to it, then.
Clavis: Fine, don't believe me. Woe be unto the selfless older brother who cares ever so much! The one who would break his back for his darling younger brother despite knowing that he rat him out to the playboy king and the rotten minister at the first sign of trouble. The one who noticed that the seventh prince had already fallen victim to the curse of forgotten middle children when he uttered his name to the same foolish king-minister pair and they realized they had not seen the poor boy in months!
Nokto: So I have you to blame for my lost sandwich. And my wasted day off.
Clavis: I think you mean thank.
Nokto: You expect me to thank you for stealing my peace and quiet?
Clavis: Oh, no. No thanks necessary for that. Because no matter how old you get or how many mystery younger siblings we may find, you will always be my little baby brother, Nokto. *manages to reach his hand out and pinch Nokto's cheek*
Nokto: Touch me again and I'll bite your hand off.
Clavis: Oh, you silly boy. Leon's the carnivore. You'll have to think of something more original.
Nokto: ...
Clavis: But if you want to pull on my hand like how you used to get my attention when you were younger, I won't stop you. Now would be preferable, actually. As hard as you can.
Nokto: *places half the sandwich in Clavis's hand and shuts the cabinet door*
Sariel: And that covers our entire history of trade with Benitoite for the past 700 years. Now, let us move onto Jade. Prince Jin, if you would please open the green tome in front of you.
Luke: ...
Sariel: Something the matter?
Luke: You just called me Jin.
Sariel: *laughs* Forgive me, but I believe I am well aware of the difference between you two, my prince. Now, the kingdom of Jade has always maintained neutral diplomatic relations—
Licht: No. I heard it, too.
Sariel: Pardon?
Nokto: Yeah, you totally called him Jin there.
Sariel: You must excuse my bold implication, but you three have misheard. I called him by his proper name, as I always do.
Nokto: It's ok, Sariel. No one's going to burn you at the stake for a little mistake. I mean, you used to mix Licht and me up all the time before.
Sariel: That was merely a result of your constant chicanery. Naturally, I felt compelled to play along so as to ensure we could get back on track with your lessons.
Licht: No. I remember you slipping up even when we weren't trying.
Sariel: That is not how I remember— Wake up! The lesson is still ongoing. You are not authorized to take a nap!
Luke: Bummer. *yawns*
Nokto: Leave it to old Sariel to drag lessons on our vacation.
Sariel: For the thirty-fifth time, this is not a vacation. We are surveying the southern border to familiarize Prince Jin with self-sufficiency should he find himself alone and indisposed in the wilderness.
Nokto: A-ha! You just did it again!
Sariel: I did no such thing. Have you gathered enough firewood yet?
Nokto: Feh, you've got cotton in your ears, old man.
Sariel: I can still hear that your firewood pile is shamefully low for a prince who has already gone through this training years ago.
Licht: Come on, Nokto. I'm getting hungry.
Nokto: I'm working on it. You know, you're right about one thing, Sariel. I'd never bring you along on a vacation.
Yves: That's so mean. Take that back right now, Nokto!
Nokto: Oh, goodie. Here comes another person I refuse to vacation with.
Yves: The feeling is mutual! I'd never vacation with someone who could barely collect enough firewood to boil a pot of tea.
Nokto: I said I'm working on it.
Yves: The sun's about to go down. Or were you planning on letting us starve while you blindly wandered the forest for twigs like a termite? Look at Licht. He's already caught and cleaned the meat for dinner and he set the table like a real team player.
Licht: Yves, I'm hungry.
Yves: Don't worry, Licht. I've scavenged enough herbs and nuts to make this a forest meal that'll make even your teeth water.
Licht: Awesome.
Luke: Sariel, I'm sleepy.
Sariel: We still have five chapters before your next scheduled break.
Luke: Not awesome.
Sariel: Time would move faster if you actually began reading.
Luke: I'd rather collect firewood.
Sariel: Less mutter, more page flutter. [turns to Yves] Excellent work, Prince Leon. Please see to preparations for dinner while we await the start of the fire.
Nokto: [from 10 trees away] A-HA!
Yves: Leon?
Sariel: What about him?
Licht: Yet another witness joins the council.
Sariel: Preposterous. I can only conclude that you all colluded back at the palace to trick me into thinking I am losing my marbles so that you could go back home early.
Luke: You said it. We didn't.
Sariel: And you are still on page 3.
Yves: Hey, let's calm down. It's been a long day, we all could use a break.
Nokto: [from 17 trees away] AWESOME!
Yves: Not you!
Nokto: Not awesome...
Yves: Sariel, how about you lie down in the tent for a bit. I found some mint in the forest. Licht will make you a cup of tea with it and Nokto's pitiful pile of wood while I prep dinner.
Licht: Whatever gets us to eat quicker.
Luke: Make that honey-mint tea for me, please.
Yves: Only if you finish your assigned reading.
Luke: Oh, I did that ages ago.
Yves: ...Did what ages ago?
Luke: Read the book.
Yves: Wha- when?
Luke: Chevie gave it to me months ago, plus the ones about trade relations with all the other nations. 'Told me if I finished them and gave him an oral report, he'd take me on a 2-week book camping trip away from the palace.
Yves: I didn't know about this. Did you know, Licht?
Licht: [struggling to light Nokto's pitiful pile of wood] No.
Yves: Nokto! Did you know Chevalier and Luke already went camping?
Nokto: [from 29 trees away] I'm not telling because you're being mean to me! Also, what did you say? I can't hear you!
Sariel: If you truly did already study these books, then who managed to establish the limited summer coal trade route with Obsidian? And how did he or she manage it?
Luke: Oh, that was Jin. He showed some Obsidianite general how to grind rose petals into melted sugar to make colorful rock candy and he got the trade deal as a reward.
Sariel: Incorrect. It was Prince Chevalier following the victory at the Battle of the Valley Rock. Reopen your book, we are continuing the lesson.
Yves: Actually, Sariel, Luke's right about that.
Sariel: Impossible. Prince Chevalier handed me the signed trade agreement in person. It still has his bloodied fingerprints on it to this day.
Nokto: [returned with a slightly less pitiful pile of wood] Pretty sure that was rose sugar. Didn't the pages of the agreement keep sticking together?
Sariel: I suppose they did... Very well, I shall review the documents as soon as we return and consult with Prince Clav-, eh Prince Leo-, no Prince Rio-, argh! Moving on, in what year did Rhodolite establish its most modern trade agreement with Acroite?
Luke: Funnily enough, it was the year I was born. Twelve years after the last agreement ended because the head minister of Acroite lost it in a snowstorm and no one found out about it 'til it expired.
Sariel: That is... correct... *Ahem* And what are our primary exports to Jade?
Luke: Well, you'll have to specify the time period. 'Cuz up until the last king's reign we mainly dealt in an equal trade of medicinal herbs exclusive to each region, which was a symbiotically beneficial agreement for each nation. But ever since Prince Clavis and Prince Keith spearheaded the trade route, Jade has experienced a never-before-seen influx of handmade explosive toys and party-favors from Rhodolite which topped the export list for the past two-years running.
Sariel: ...Perhaps I do need to lie down.
*KABOOM!!*
Sariel: PRINCE CLAVIS!! Show yourself right this instant!
Licht: Sorry, that was me. We're gonna need a new teapot.
Licht: You are less likely to be early than they are to be late.
Leon: Hey, punctuality means on time, not before. No need to drown yourself in work off-hours. But those two never make us wait during the on-hours.
Licht: Maybe they forgot.
Leon: Thursdays Yves leads the meeting. He wouldn't just forget. And Jin wouldn't miss out on the meeting snacks. They probably just got caught up in town.
Licht: Or maybe they overslept?
Leon: Maybe they're both sick in bed?
Licht: Maybe they took a wrong turn and ended up in the basement and the sweets in their bellies attracted the vicious flesh-eating vampire gophers and they got cornered.
Leon: Nah, can't be. They're too smart for that.
Licht: Individually, maybe. But their smarts cancel each other out when they're in the same room for too long.
Leon: That hasn't been scientifically proven yet. Let's just wait a bit longer. Have some faith.
Jin: I checked on them last night. They're doing fine, but they miss you, Licht. No, Yves and I just got caught up the ol' gastronomic laboratory and lost track of time.
Yves: You mean you sampled all my dishes this morning, so I spent that past two hours playing damage control in the kitchen.
Jin: Potato, tomato.
Yves: You horrendous, happy-go-lucky glutton! Do you have any idea how hard it is to knead a bucket of sourdough on a time limit with only nine fingers?
Licht & Leon: Nine?
Yves: Yes, I've been testing out this new technique Prince Keith showed me. Whenever I get surprised or shocked, I channel all that stress into my right pinkie and let those emotions naturally ooze out over time.
Leon: Ohh. Very cool and economical, I think. High-five! Er— high-four? ...Four-and-a-half?
Licht: Does it hurt?
Yves: Actually, I haven't felt anything in that finger since I ran into Jin. Sure, it goes numb and I can't flex the thing anymore, but it'll go back to normal. At least, I think it will.
Jin: Isn't my little brother just so impressive? Now his pinkie is as pink as the rest of him.
Yves: And whose fault is that? You'd better not let me catch you stuffing your cheeks with my almond pudding crumble again—
Jin: It was both very adorable and very princely of you to leave the spoon out for me.
Yves: —You slurped the fillings from all my pies through a straw! You only left the crusts intact—
Jin: Too many carbs. Gotta watch my figure.
Yves: —And you nearly completely devoured the middle layer of my three-tiered raspberry chocolate mousse cake. I still have no idea how it was still standing upright by the time I stopped you.
Jin: Yeah, we make a pretty great team in the kitchen.
Yves: How, Jin? Just how do we make a great team?
Jin: You're really good at cooking, and I'm really good at eating.
Yves: *adorable, princely incoherent fuming*
Leon: Alright, alright. Let's settle this the proper way, as a team. Seems obvious there's one clear solution to this. All in favor of moving Thursday's meetings to the kitchen from now on, raise your right hand and say "Aye".
Leon & Jin & Licht: Aye.
Yves: I think not! Who ever heard of political meetings being held in the kitchen? We'd be the laughingstock of the continent!
Leon: I dunno. Good food brings out the best in people, and that's really hard to come by in politics.
Jin: Hey, we can start a movement and get the others to join in, too. We could call it Feast-Forum or Debate-Dinner.
Licht: I want Supper-Showdown.
Yves: Regardless, it is not unanimous opinion, so it doesn't pass.
Leon: Sorry, buddy. You need to splay all 5 fingers for your vote to count.
Yves: What a ridiculous rule. Since when was that a thing?
Licht: You had us pass it last month when Clavis and Nokto sent Luke over to skew our votes for fun.
Jin: I remember that. Too bad Yves made sticky honey buns that week. Those poor phalanges didn't stand a chance.
Leon: Would've been less of a hassle to clean up if we were in the kitchen, now that I think about it.
Yves: Well, if it was voted in before, we can vote it out. All in favor, raise your fist and say "Aye".
Leon: Sorry again, Yves. We can't un-vote a ruling until it's been established for at least six months.
Yves: Oh, give me a break. That one's got to be made up.
Licht: We put that one in place to stop Sariel from busting in to skew the votes and undo all the things we pass in our meetings.
Jin: Yup, he's still counting down the days until he can overturn the gopher palace protection policy.
Leon: Say, you're the one who suggested those too, Yves. You really do represent the voice and the guilty conscience of the people. This faction is stronger because of you.
Yves: Well, yes, but... but... *sigh* Licht, would you please go ask the vampire gophers if they'd like to join us for Supper-Showdown?
