#science article

Although lactation is a mammalian trait, in recent years several animals have been found to produce milk for their young.

Just looking at the binary, how do we all not have phantom phallus or phantom labia/vagina? If it’s because of signals to the brain whilst the binary sex is developing—then what about everything outside the binary like intersex, when everything doesn't "line up?"

A lot of what comes up is specifically around transgender people and their affirmative surgeries.

"Trans phantoms" exist: "bodily sensations of gendered body parts that a person was not born with (i.e., a phantom penis experienced by a trans man, or a phantom vagina experienced by a trans woman)" which is distinctly different from dysphoria. "TGD [transgender and gender diverse] individuals, of course; cisgender people are also capable of experiencing gendered body parts with which they were not born, though such reports seem to be far less commonplace and anecdotal." These phantom sensations need to be treated with external treatment, btw. The phantoms can include gendered parts instead of primary or secondary sex characteristics such as lips, hips and thighs. There was an "other" option which I imagine means shoulders, butt, possibly tummy, and maybe even feet and hands, and facial features.) Erotic sensations are a big part here also. I hope this et al does another study with the expanded and more specific parameters they want.

Can't access, The Injured World: Intersex and the Phenomenology of Feeling

For my transmasc audience: Phantom Penis: Extrapolating Neuroscience and Employing Imagination for Trans Male Sexual Embodiment

Four pages of google and this is the specific intersex focus: CRIPPING INTERSEX pdf, Neurological Considerations for “Nerve-Sparing” Cosmetic Genital Surgeries Performed on Children with XX Chromosomes Diagnosed with 21-Hydroxylase Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia and Clitoromegaly, and this video, Exploring Intersex with Hilda Vioria. No phantom mentions I could find.

Societal gender structures seem to play a big part in the trans phantoms, so how is that different in a different set of societal genders, and how would it change if we dropped all this gender essentialism shit?

But then also, do otherkin or non-human alters experience phantom sensations? The predictive processing extending to physical sensations seems to imply that.

What I've been able to find on message boards/forums thus far:

r/Intersex: Anyone else struggle with phantom peen syndrome?

r/Intersex: periods in intersex people?

This reddit comment: "i do sometimes experience a phantom penis. i don't want to explain it in detail but i will say i'm also alterhuman and experience phantom appendages like a tail and wings and my phantom penis feels about the same as those."

This tumblr post

... I may have discovered something about myself today... but my eyes feel weird so Imma go ahead and put that on hold.

I have serious mixed feelings about it

I did the experiments, I did most of the analysis except the modelisations, I wrote the first 3 to 4 drafts of the full article 

it’s mine. It’s my stuff 

but after I finished my PhD and eventually could run away from where I had a seriously hard time socially and work speaking (lucky for me I was in 3 different labs over my PhD, only 1 of them was awful) I just couldn’t. Work. On it. 

If you’re in research you know the work doesn’t stop after the PhD or whatever diploma/contract is finished. I still had 2 articles to publish, and to polish before submission 

But I also had a new job

And anxiety attacks whenever I opened the article files. 

Yay. 

So I did polish the last draft of this publication before sending, but as I changed work and was working A LOT during these last months, I didn’t do anything about the review process. Nothing. 

And now I can’t even feel happy that my last article is out, because I feel I don’t deserve the first name. I WROTE IT. I DID THE EXPERIMENTS. I DID THE ANALYSIS THE EXCRUCIATINGLY LONG DATA CLEANING PROCESS I WENT TO THE BEEHIVES ALONE ON SUNDAYS AND EVEN WHEN IT RAINED WITH AN UMBRELLA I GOT STUNG COUNTLESS TIMES AND I SPENT HOURS CRYING OVER THIS PAPER AND HOW I WAS TREATED TO MAKE IT 

YET MY BRAIN WONT LET ME FEEL LIKE I DESERVE IT

IT WONT LET ME ENJOY THE FACT THAT I AM NOW FREE 

NO 

I STILL NEED TO FEEL PAIN ABOUT IT 

I HATE THIS AND I HATE THE PEOPLE WHO MADE ME THIS WAY it’s my supervisor and the horrendous atmosphere in this institute. 

Anyway. If you’re interested in honeybees, virology, neonicotinoid pesticides, and the effects of both combined on the field, you can DM me and I’ll send you the article. 

Love and above all strength to all the suffering PhD students who read this.