#scene gone wrong

Full disclosure, fellatio at gunpoint in media (fic, film, music, etc) is a HUGE trigger for me because I've experienced it in a BDSM scene that went a bit too far. Not the kind of thing that is easy to overcome and heal from, even all these years later.

I'm fine with darkfic, I love it. I don't even mind if all of the sexual acts in a fic aren't in the warnings, that's actually great sometimes because then you can be surprised and experience the story in real-time without any expectations of anything.

BUT...I do believe being held at gunpoint or anything involving peril, danger, fear, torture, or even the threat of violence SHOULD be considered a warning. It SHOULD be mentioned in a "trigger warning", along with warnings for rape, non-con, dubcon, and forced sexual acts. [I should include here that if your list of warnings isn't exhaustive or complete, including in the warnings that there will be the presence of non-consensual acts or dubious consent is perfectly fine. You don't owe anyone a full summary of everything that happens in a story. Everyone is responsible for their own media consumption. Including me.]

I don't care if the person propositioned is "okay" with the act, they are a fictional character written by you, the writer. And, as the writer, you have control over everything. Including what characters feel, say, or do.

With great power comes great responsibility, Uncle Ben knew what he was talking about there. With the power of being a writer comes the responsibility of informing your audience when they are about to consume triggering media.

And yes, people can be triggered by many different things. That's sort of the point. None of us have the manual to what exactly every trigger is in the world. The best advice I can give is: if you have a millisecond of hesitation about whether to include it in the warnings, INCLUDE IT. You may not know someone with that as a trigger, but I can guarantee you there most likely will be at least one person.

I didn't mean to turn this into a rant, and I feel like I'm probably just speaking out of the paranoia and anxiety that flows through me after reading a triggering scene. But, I also feel like I'm not the only one who has read something and felt strong emotion, positive or negative.

I am NOT asking for anyone to change the way that they tag their fics. I am NOT asking for anyone reading this to harrass, bully, or annoy anyone on my behalf. I AM asking for transparency, though. No one wants to be surprised with pain and suffering. Unless, they're into that, of course.

I'm shutting up now.