#scarson

…

  Scarson likes setting things on fire. So much so that it’s said around Hels that if you don’t find at least six things on fire in any given day, Scarson is either dead or dying. There are only a few Helsmits who can stand to be around him because of how destructive he is. 

  One day, Scarson is outside in Hels, looking for something good to set on fire, when his only friend appears from above. “Scarsooon!”

  Scarson grins and waves. “Hello, Xelqua. Lovely morning, isn’t it?”

  Xelqua lands beside him and looks up at the flaming red sky. “Well the sky is as red as ever, but I can’t say it’s a lovely morning when I’ve just spent the last hour being chased around by Helsuma.”

  “Oh yeah, it’s his hunting day. Please tell me you lost him, cuz I don’t wanna have to postpone my burning plans for today to flee across the entire dimension from a guy who wants to rip my head off.” 

  “Don’t worry, don’t worry,” says Xelqua dismissively. “I lost him. I’m, like, twenty percent sure I lost him.”

  “That’s not a lot, dude!” yelps Scarson.

  “YOU spend an hour running for your life from a homicidal maniac, then! See how confident YOU are!”

  “Okay, you know what? I’m gonna go set his house on fire.”

  As Scarson sets off walking, Xelqua flies along beside him. “Ohohohohoho! You are gonna die.” 

  Scarson grins at him. “Probably. But I’d rather go out in flames than not at all.”

  “Whoa.” Xelqua turns onto his back, drifting along in the air. “That’s poetic, bro.”

  “Thank you.”

  Helsuma’s house is located at the base of the volcano at the heart of the Hels dimension. Its style mimics that of his counterpart Xisuma, but with a clear nether-based colour palette. 

  Scarson takes out his flint and steel and stands up straight. “This may be a suicide mission, Xelqua,” he says grandly. “So if I die, think of me fondly.”

  Xelqua salutes. “Godspeed, Scarson. Godspeed.”

  With that, Scarson charges at the house and dives through the window, smashing the glass. 

  Immediately, movement catches his eye. He yelps and jumps up, ready to fight.

  But instead of facing Helsuma like he expected, he finds Prof standing there with a shulker box in his hands.

  The two stare at each other in silence for a moment.

  “What are you doing here?” Scarson asks slowly.

  “Raiding Helsuma’s house,” responds Prof casually. “You?”

  “I’m here to burn it down.” 

  “Pog. Gimme a head start, will ya?”

  “Oh, of course.” 

  Scarson waits until Prof leaves the house, then counts to ten and strikes the flint and steel several times. 

  Due to the plethora of nether blocks, the house is almost instantly consumed with flames. 

  Coughing, Scarson jumps back out the window and straightens up, dusting himself off. “Awesome. His is my favourite house to set on fire.”

  “It’s really burning!” marvels Xelqua. “If Helsuma sees this, he’s gonna obliterate us.”

  As if on cue: “SCAAAAAAAAARSOOOOOOON!”

  “Oh well, at least we’re going down together,” says Scarson.

  But Xelqua’s wings shoot out to full extension. “Oh Hels no. I’m outta here.”

  “W-Wait! Xelqua!”

  Scarson watches his friend zoom off into the sky. “Welp. I’m dead.”

  “YOU’RE DEAD!” Helsuma’s voice bellows. 

  “Oh I’m DEAD dead.”

  Even though Scarson can’t actually see Helsuma yet, he takes off running anyway. He knows it’s useless, though; Helsuma is a hunter. Helsuma stays out of sight, stalking his prey, before pouncing and killing in one blow. Once Helsuma sets his sights on you, you’re dead. 

  Breathing heavily, Xelqua settles in his nest atop the tallest tree in Hels. With his keen eyes, he looks around for Scarson but his friend is nowhere to be found. 

  Then the death message appears in the sky for the whole world to see:

Scarson was slain by Helsuma

  Xelqua grins. 

  Just another Monday in Hels.

…