Welcome

Leigh had stayed behind a little to help your sister and you clean up. Once everything was almost done Leigh decided to call it a night mumbling a goodnight to the both of you. You had noticed she seemed more down than usual, so you spotted the extra doughnuts left over from today’s session and grabbed the box and ran out after her.

“Hey, Leigh. Can you wait up for a second” you yelled after her. Leigh stopped and turned around to face you and you felt your heart rate increase against your chest as her sage green eyes, with a blank look, stared into your own. Leigh’s brows furrowed eyebrows as she tilted to the side slightly as she wondered why you were chasing after her.

You jogged the rest of the way up to Leigh and held out the box of doughnuts while smiling widely at her as she frowned, looking down at the box of doughnuts. You caught on to her further confusion immediately.

“Oh, my sister had some of these left over and we weren’t going to eat them. You seemed a little more down in today’s session than usual and I noticed how much you love doughnuts. I thought you could use an extra pick me-up or you know, if you don’t want a pity gift then you could consider them as a thank you gift, for helping my sister and I clear up tonight” you ramble. You start scratching the back of your neck as you avoid all eye contact with her, knowing that if you did your heart might just beat out of your chest or stop completely.

“Thank you, uhm, sorry, I don’t know your name” Leigh apologises as you catch the guilty look flash across her face briefly.

“That's okay, and my name is Y/n L/n. My sister runs your grief group” you explain as Leigh nods in acknowledgement.

“Right, yeah, of course. Well Y/n L/n, it was very nice to meet you and thanks again for the doughnuts. Maybe I could see you again sometime? Outside of the grief group, maybe we could grab some coffee together one day?” Leigh proposes.

“I’d really like that, Leigh, hang on I’ll enter my number into your phone if you’d like” you suggest. Leigh flashes you a smile, the first one you’d seen off her all night, as she passes you her phone. You input your number and hand it back to her before walking Leigh to her car and watching her drive off.

Leigh texted you three days after and invited you out for coffee and that was where a beautiful friendship began. You and Leigh spent nearly everyday together for three months and your crush on Leigh only developed further until you fell completely in love with her.

Over time, as the two of you kept growing closer physically, you ended up sleeping together one night. Since that first time it became a recurring event that whenever Leigh needed you, you would be there and the two of you would have sex.

That’s what leads you to where you are right now watching her grab the rest of her clothes and walk out of your apartment without so much as a word.

**************************************

“Fuck y/n. Right th-there” Leigh moans echo your bedroom, her hips thrusting uncontrollably at the pace you’ve set with your strap.

You are completely mesmerised as you stare at the way her breasts bounce as she rides you. You bite your lip to silence yourself from groaning whilst focusing on her perky breasts and erect nipples “fuck Leigh, you are so fucking perfect. Come on baby, that's it; you can do it. Fuck yourself on my cock baby” you purr.

You thrust your hips up off the mattress as hard and as fast as you can as Leigh rides you. You place the soles of your feet flat so that you can thrust at a quicker pace and deeper into her pussy. Her head tilts back in ecstasy as she slides her hands up your torso and lands on your breasts to anchor her as she lifts her hips, sinking back down on your strap, taking the full length of the toy.

You caress her hips before gripping them a little tighter and guide her as she rides you. Pulling her hips down against you whilst you thrust into her as she runs her hands across your chest exploring the shape of your breasts, almost like she wishes to commit the feeling of them to memory. 

“Fuck y/n, I’m going to cum baby” she moans as her hips speed up, chasing her high, but you have other ideas.

You lean up so you are sitting as Leigh still bucks against the strap buried within her. You bring your lips to her nipple and run your tongue over it before taking her nipple in your mouth and softly sucking and biting on it before letting it go. You move on to her other breast once again taking her nipple in your mouth as you knead the other one. You can hear Leigh’s ragged breaths as she struggles to reach the orgasm she is so desperately chasing. “Y/n baby please, I need you” she pleads.

You place a kiss just under her breast and bite the skin before soothing it over with your tongue. You pull away at her desperate pleas “need me to help you baby?” you coo into her ear. She shudders, nodding, as your breath tickles her ears just adding to her overwhelming need to cum. 

Leigh nods frantically “please make me cum” she whimpers, her body becoming tired as she grinds harshly against your strap showing you how desperate she is. 

“Okay baby I’ve got you” you shush her. 

In one quick motion you flip her so that she is on her back and she instantly wraps her legs around your waist allowing you better access to her pussy. You pull your strap out of her until only the tip is inside her. Leigh whimpers at the temporary loss. You lean down and start kissing her lips before moving your kisses down her jaw until you reach the sweet spot on her neck. You thrust your entire length into her entrance until you bottom out just as you bite down on the sweet spot on her neck, smoothing the bite over with your tongue. Leigh’s entire body arches reactively into you as she lets out the most perfectly sinful moans which echo the bedroom walls. 

You continue the thrusting into her deeply and hard whilst leaving kisses down her neck, collarbone and breasts, gently nipping her and leaving bites every so often. Leigh bucks hard against you as she runs her fingers up your arms and along your back as she digs her nails into your back to ground herself at the brutal pace you have set. 

“Y/n I’m go-gonna cum, fuck y/n” she moans loudly as her walls clench against the strap as her hips and body jerk as she cums hard all over your strap. You continue thrusting into her softly until the last wave of her orgasm has washed over her. You smile at her and kiss her lips and then her forehead before pulling out of her as she whimpers slightly. 

You remove the strap and throw it across the room to deal with later as you crawl up the bed and collapse next to Leigh. You place a soft kiss on her temple “you okay?” You ask, passing her some water that she politely declines. You go to wrap your arms around her and pull her into you to cuddle, but she has already leaped from the bed and began getting dressed.

This is what she always does after the two of you have sex. She gets dressed as soon as you have made her cum, leaves, doesn’t talk to you or answer your messages and calls for two weeks, calls you up to hang out, saying that she misses you and the cycle repeats itself.

Every time you try to even remotely bring up the subject of her staying after having sex, she just yells and it always ends in an argument. You keep trying, hoping that each outcome will be different, but they all end the same; her leaving.

You jump up and start getting dressed too, but this only speeds up her process as she opens the bedroom door. You run over to her and slam the door shut with your hand and gently spin her around to face you, but she refuses to look into your eyes. You bend your knees slightly as you cup her cheek, softly, rubbing your thumb over the apples of her cheeks, trying to catch her eyes with yours.

“Leigh please, don’t do this again. Okay? Just please don’t leave like you always do” you plead with her. 

Leigh looks up and meets your eyes “I can’t do this, Y/n, this was a mistake. I was lonely and…” “and I was just there. I get it, Leigh. I know the whole script like the back of my hand at this point. At least you’re consistent. I’ll give you that” you cut her off sadly, finishing the same speech she always provides.

“Y/n, that’s not fair” she mumbles trying to reach out for you just so she can offer a few soft touches to pacify you before leaving just like she intended to do in the first place anyway.

“No, you know what’s not fair, Leigh? I am in love with you and have been since we met and you know this and yet you still sleep with me, leave, don’t talk to me for weeks and then repeat the cycle. You know this and you refuse to admit you feel the same way because you’re scared. I get it, Leigh. I do. You’re scared that if you let me in entirely and let yourself feel the feelings you have for me, that you’ll lose me, but I’m still here.

We do the same dance every time Leigh. You kiss me and I kiss you back; we end up sleeping together, and then you tell me it’s a mistake. But it’s not a mistake, and you know it. You know, deep down you have feelings for me too, but you won’t admit them because you’re so scared I’m gonna leave you just like Matt did or that you’re betraying him.. But I’m not going anywhere, Leigh. I am right here. I am always right here where you leave me. I tried to go slow because I thought that’s what you needed. Matt would want you to be happy and move on. I’m not going to leave you like Matt did, Leigh” you sigh, letting all your thoughts out.

Leigh glares at you before stepping forward so she can finally look you deep in the eyes “you know what I’m sick of, Y/n? You psychoanalysing me all the fucking time. You may be a therapist, but I am not one of your fucking patients, and your stupid therapy methods don’t work on me, so stop treating me like one. I don’t need you to be patient with me or tell me you aren’t going to leave me like Matt; instead you should keep my husband’s name out of your mouth. Don’t you get it? I don’t want to be with you. You’re so desperate god, you’re just a good fuck every so often” she yells exasperatedly as she throws her hands up before they come crashing back down against her thighs.

You step back as you feel a pang of hurt in your chest as if someone had just punched you in the gut. You feel the tears start to come to form in your eyes as her mossy green eyes convey nothing but anger towards you. You decide you won’t let her see how much she hurt you, so instead you swallow the lump in your throat and push down the tears.

“Fine, you know what Leigh, fine. I’m done doing this with you. From now on, don’t contact me. I am done trying to make this work. If you are afraid of your feelings then fine, but excuse me if I don’t stick around for you just to insult me and treat me like a punching bag. I refuse to let you drag me down with you. I need to distance myself from you for a while because it hurts too much to be around you anymore” you croak as your emotions become too much. 

Something snaps in Leigh when she realises what is happening and her eyes shine with panic, her wide eyes glistening with unshed tears, which then soften as she attempts to reach out for you once more to try and console you. You step back away from her shaking your head as you shrug her off, leading her to the front door as you hold it wide open.

“Y/n please I didn’t mean what I said” she apologises, her eyes pleading you not to do this.

You continue to hold the door open and look down at the ground, avoiding her eyes “bye Leigh” you mumble. Leigh’s tears escape her eyes as she comes to the realisation that she really fucked up this time and wipes them away with the palm of her hand as they fall. She tries to catch your eye once more but gives up knowing you have made up your mind and steps out your apartment door, nearly hitting her on the way out.

As soon as the door is closed you let yourself break down and slide down the door in pain as you feel your heart break, the echo of her voice still in your head.

Little do you know, Leigh is breaking down in her own car as she replays the conversation over and over knowing every single thing you said was right. It takes Leigh a good hour before she can compose herself enough to drive home, but as she does her heart feels shattered.

******************************

You wake up to the vibrations your phone is making as its screen lights up the room from your bedside table. You let out a groan, cursing whoever is calling you in the middle of the night, and reach over blindly to answer the phone without bothering to check the caller ID. 

“Hello” you answer groggily as you try to rub the sleep out of your eyes as you struggle to keep them from drooping shut again. 

“Y/n baby. I-I am so s-sorry. I can’t stop thinking about you, please ignore…..forgive me. I-I need you baby…I need you close to me a-all the time. I fucked up…god I fucked up baby, I ne-want you close to me” Leigh's slurred voice comes through your phone.

Starting to wake up you hear by her hiccuping and slurred dialogue that she is drunk somewhere. You sigh, this happens a lot.

Leigh blows up at you and pushes you away and then she ends up at some nightclub or bar drunk and phones you apologising and you fall back into her arms every time. 

“Where are you? I’m picking you up” you insist. You start to slowly lose your patience like you always do when she keeps slurring her words and not forming any coherent sentences. 

Eventually, after fifteen minutes of softly demanding that Leigh give her phone to a bartender do you find out where she is. The bartender informs you that he will keep her safe and cut her off until you arrive to take her home. 

Leigh begins to get upset and sniffles when you tell her you have to hang up so you can drive to her. 

“Leigh please baby. I need to hang up so I can come meet you at the bar, I’m coming so you need to hang up. The sooner you hang up the sooner I’ll be there” you bargain with her. Eventually, she relents and makes you promise that you’ll be there soon which of course you do. 

After quickly flinging on some sweatpants and a sweatshirt, you grab your phone and keys and set off to retrieve Leigh. The whole drive all you can hear is the echo of a combination of different fights you’ve had with Leigh along with all her moans and bursts of laughter. You can’t help thinking that you can’t keep doing this anymore if she refuses to give you even a little reassurance apart from drunk calls that she feels the same way as you do. 

Eventually, you find Leigh at the bar sipping on some water. You head over to her and wrap your arms around her waist and you can’t help but feel elated when you see the way her sad face lights up with adoration when she sees you. 

“Y/n” she sighs contentedly as she allows her head to lull back against your shoulder allowing the alcohol to fully possess her. You sigh and shake your head when you realise she’s passed out in a drunken state. You thank the bartender and grab her in a bridal hold and take her out to the passenger side of your car. You gently place her in the seat and buckle her seatbelt before gently shutting the door. You then climb in the driver’s seat and drive her back to her apartment. 

You pick up her handbag that she had at the bar and rummage for her keys. Once found, you get out of the car and open her apartment door before racing back to the car to gently lift her out. Once in your arms Leigh wraps her arms around your neck subconsciously and snuggles into you chest sighing in her sleep. You shut the car door and lock it before making your way up the stairs and into her apartment, kicking the door shut behind you. 

You place Leigh gently on her bed and take her dress off before tucking her under the covers and rolling on her side to ensure she doesn’t choke if she’s sick during the night. You then head into her kitchen and grab a tall glass of water and some tablets for her head, that she will no doubt require in the morning, and place them on her bedside table. 

You kneel beside her and brush the hair away from her eyes and mouth as you gaze at her peacefully sleeping with the occasional soft snore falling past her lips. You think it’s adorable and only find yourself wishing that you could wake up to her at least once. 

As much as you are in love with Leigh, you know things will never change. Leigh will go back to wanting to spend everyday with you and as soon as the two of you sleep together again she’ll be gone. 

You can’t keep holding on to hope that she might change or hold on to the echo of her anymore.You sigh defeated and place a soft kiss to her forehead before grabbing the blanket on the couch and settling down on it to try to get some sleep. 

**************************

When Leigh wakes in the morning a rush of pain hits her forehead and makes her dizzy. Disorientated, she attempts to piece her night together. One minute she was thinking of calling Y/n to apologise in the bar and then everything goes blank. Leigh brings her gaze down and notices she is just in her underwear and her dress is on her chair in the corner of her room. When she glances to the left she sees a glass of water and some tablets on her bedside table. 

How the hell did she get home? 

She groans as she sits on the edge of her bed at the throbbing in her temples. She takes the tablets and gulps the water down before gathering the courage to get up to retrieve another glass for her dry throat. 

Leigh stops in her tracks as she enters into her kitchen and sees you lying passed out on the sofa. So that’s how she got home, she pieces it together and groans internally when the flashbacks of her calling Y/n drunk come to the forefront of her mind. Leigh smiles at how soft and peaceful you look as you sleep and decides to make some coffee to thank you.

She doesn’t deserve you, not after the way she treated you. She acknowledges this but still can’t help but to feel excited that you came to her rescue last night. Surely that means you still care right? 

***************************

You wake up to the strong smell of freshly brewed coffee and your stomach rumbling. Groaning and stretching you wake yourself up and blink the sleep out of your eyes as they adjust to the light flooding through Leigh’s living room windows. 

“Hey, sleepy head” you hear Leigh softly greet you good morning. You mumble a non-coherent good morning as you sit up and accept the mug of coffee she made for you. 

Leigh sits next to you and pulls her legs up to her chest as she cradles her cup of coffee in both hands. You take a sip of your coffee and look over to see her looking at you intently. 

“Can we talk?” she questions nervously. You nod but stay silent allowing her to speak first. 

“I am so sorry Y/n. I know I keep apologising and you don’t deserve that but I need you to know that I never meant a single thing I said that night. I just snapped because every single thing you said was true, I am scared of losing you. Scared of moving on from Matt. I know about your feelings towards me and I have always been aware of them and I’ve not been fair to you. I do love you Y/n, I am in love with you. 

I wish I could take everything I’ve done back and just have stayed with you that night believe me but I can’t. All I can do is promise it will never happen again Y/n, I love you. You aren’t just a good fuck, you’re everything to me and I know I have done nothing to make you believe that. Please baby, just give me one more chance. I’ll do anything. Please baby, just let me love you the way you deserve to be loved, to love you the way you love me” she pleads with unshed tears in her eyes.

You sigh, shaking your head as you stand up, placing your mug on the coffee table. 

“I can’t Leigh, I’m sorry. I love you but it's just too late” you conclude as your bottom lip trembles at the threat of spilling all your own unshed tears. 

Leigh shoots up and places her coffee down and rushes to your side and brings both her hands to your cheeks, wiping away the tears that have fallen. She lifts your face so that your eyes meet hers and you see the pain in her eyes. 

“Please baby, it's not too late. I love you just give me a chance” she desperately sobs letting her own tears hit her cheeks, soothingly rubbing her thumbs against the apples of your cheeks. 

You reach up and take her hands in yours and you see a glimpse of hope flicker in her hopeful eyes before you lower her hands away from your face. 

“You haven’t taken responsibility for holding my heart the way you do. You have known this whole time I have worn mine on my sleeve Leigh so, what else can you expect me to do? If you don’t end it when this is over then you leave me lonely and brokenhearted. Cause everytime you leave me you break me slowly and you’re not there afterwards but you still have a hold on me” you croak. 

Leigh tries to reach out for you but you take a step back as she begins to sob begging you to stay, her heart breaking every time you step out of her reach. Is this how she left you every time? Her heart feels like it is slowly shattering and she begins to understand your words.

“If you don’t stop calling, then I can’t let go when you’re drunk and telling me that you need me close. Cause I will come running back to you everytime Leigh but I don’t think my heart can take this cycle we have anymore. Please baby, don’t keep me haunted by your ghost because when you leave me all I hear your echo in my mind constantly” you sob pleading for her to let you go as she is pleading for you to give her one more chance. 

“I keep holding on to the possibility that you and I can turn into us. But when that hope turns into dust it's worse than a death of a thousand cuts. So please, can you end it when it’s over?” Leigh shakes her head in denial at your plea. 

“No baby, I am sorry but I can’t. I want you and you want me just let me make this right I’ll do anything baby, plea-please don’t leave me” her voice catches in between her uncontrollable sobs as she protests and your heart breaks even more than it already has at letting her go. This was all you wanted but you can’t take the chance of her changing her mind again because you won’t survive this time. You hold her tight against your chest and kiss the crown of her head as your tears fall into her hair and you battle with the lump in your throat and pain coursing through your chest.

“Your echo is in my mind, my body and in my heart every time you leave me Leigh and I won’t survive another. I lay in bed in a wreck trying to forget the echos of every argument after sex, the speech you give me everytime, I can’t do it again baby. You have to let me go” you pull her away from your chest and really look at her trying to convey how desperate you are for her to end your suffering. You love her of course you do. Your eyes fill with new tears and the pang of hurt hits your chest and gut once more at the thought of leaving her but you have to and deep down so does she. 

You cup her face in your hands and graze your thumbs over her lips and cheeks and place your forehead against hers “If you don’t stop calling, then I can’t let go. All I hear is your echo. Please baby, don’t keep me haunted by your ghost. Let me go” you completely break and sob with her. 

You both know at that moment it’s over and god it hurts. 

You place a kiss to her forehead and let it linger there for what feels like eternity before pulling away and heading towards the door. 

Leigh catches your hand, her lip trembling as another shot of pain shoots through her chest as fresh tears drop from her eyelids. 

“I love you baby, maybe one day I’ll stop being an echo and bring you peace and love instead. Maybe one day we’ll be together. I’ll always hold on to that hope Y/n but I understand why you can’t. I can’t be your echo anymore and I love you enough to let you be happy and move on without me” she sniffs.

You squeeze her hand one last time “maybe one day” you mumble back before letting go of her hand and walking out her door for the last time. 

Leaving Leigh alone once again just like Matt.