#scalextric

Aliens came from another galaxy and said they'd destroy the planet if we didn't beat them at a challenge of their choosing. We had to beat them in a 300 mile long scalextric race so the world sent Nicolas Cage (who'd recently had his name changed to Nicolas Fucking Cage) to represent the fate of humanity. It ended in a draw but they destroyed the earth anyway because they thought Nic Cage was too strange.