#sbbb

She turned so quickly curses spilled from her lips but quickly stopped when she saw who had scared her. Roger. The angel-faced drummer, that could charm the pants off anyone. Not that’s Lila cared it had been a while since she got any and she was sure he’d be good. She just liked the chase.

“Hello Lila” his voice was so amazing, and Lila couldn’t help but imagine how it would sound in bed,

“Hello Roger, how are you” she tried to play hard to get she really did, but she knew, and he probably did too, that he was just much too attractive for his own good.

“much better now you’re here love, could I grab a drink thanks” he was flirting, fucking typical. As Lila poured his drink, they chatted about nothing in particular.

As they set up and practised a few notes, the bar began to fill, and it got increasing busy. The show went well, everyone cheered them on, Lila found herself bopping and long to most of the songs. By the end, she had memorised most of the lyrics and even a few chords. She wrote them down on a napkin that she put in her back pocket.

It was past 1 and the bar was finally slowing down, the boys were packing up finally after doing another unplanned half set and they all looked exhausted. Lila poured four pints and walked them backstage.

Freddie was the first to see her,

“Darling, how great were we” the smile on his face made her smile as well and even though they were barely strangers she felt much calmer in his presence.

“absolutely amazing, you guys are wonderful” although Freddie was the only one around, she was sure her compliments would get back to everyone soon enough,

“we really are aren’t we” they both laughed softly.

Lila placed the drinks on a nearby table and sat down on the chair, sighing as she sat down.

“Lila, darling you are absolutely gorgeous. But you look complete exhausted” Freddie sat down next to her and pushed the hair that framed her face back.

“how long have you been working today” Lila looked at her watch and did the mental math,

“well I started just after midday so about 13 hours give or take” Freddie gasped and tutted

“You will run yourself ragged working like that”

“I’m not working tomorrow so I’ll be fine,” Lila said aloud more so to convince herself, but she needed the money. She had told her self she wouldn’t touch her trust money unless she absolutely needed it. She didn’t.

Lila went back to the bar and Hudson told her to finish up she could go home. He gave her the weeks’ pay which she tucked away in the pocket of her coat. She grabbed her small purse and started walking home.  It was cold. She had her big red coat, which was doing a lousy job of keeping her warm. Her uniform consisted of black high waisted shorts and a white long-sleeved button up. She left more than necessary buttons undone and always wore her best push up bra. She left her hair out in its natural waves and did her usual minimal natural makeup.  As for footwear, she wore her knee-high heeled black boots and some tan stocking underneath. It was a simple uniform, but it was flattering.

Never the less when she was walking home of a night even with her coat, she was cold. She had barely gotten 100m from the pub when a van pulled up beside her, she moved away from the road and kept walking.

“Lila, do you want a lift home” it was Roger, she let out a sigh of relief as she turned.

“It’s fine really It’s only a 10-minute walk” she didn’t want to be annoying,

“It’s late and it’s not safe to be walking around, just get in love” Lila nodded and mumbled an okay as she walked around to get in the passenger seat.  

Lila gave the easy directions and Roger drove, he pulled up directly out the front and Lila thanked him. He waited as she walked over to the door and started fishing around in her purse for the keys.

“fuck me” she tried to say it quietly, but the annoyance was obvious.  Roger had a cigarette dangling out of his mouth, as he watched her stand at the door.

“everything ‘right”

“I can’t find my keys, I must have forgotten them when I rushed to work earlier” she ran a hand through her hair and exhaled loudly.

Roger thought for a moment, but his intentions were totally innocent,

“you could come to stay with me, just wait until the morning to sort it out” he took the final drab of his cigarette before continuing, “Fred said you had the day off tomorrow”

Lila thought about it, she really had nowhere else to go.

“are you sure”

“positive”

“okay if it’s alright, I promise I'll pay you back somehow”

“Oh, I’m sure you will” Roger teased, and winked at Lila.  She scoffed as she sat back in the van.

The night went fairly normal. Roger insisted on taking the couch and letting Lila have his bed, but Lila refused to kick him out of his own bed. So, they mutually agreed to share the bed. As they laid in darkness Lila faced the wall, away from Roger, smiling.

As much as she hated to admit it to herself, he was cute and charming. it could never happen. She would not let it happen. It wasn’t hard to understand his reputation and she would not become one of those girls. She didn’t want to get tangled up in a boy. She was here for the music.

She woke up just after sunrise, after quickly finding a notebook and pen she wrote a thank you note and left some money on top.  She snuck out as quietly as she could, but she tripped on the mat, landing with a thud. Earning her a dirty look from the old lady down the hall that was collecting her paper.

Lila sat out the front of her apartment building until one of the neighbours walked out and she snuck in through the door after them. She thought that she had been clever to leave a key hidden by her door, but she had conveniently forgotten about needing a key for the apartment door.

Once she got inside, she showered and flopped back into bed, falling into a deep sleep. It was as just passed midday when she woke so after some coffee and a cookie, she started writing.

When I'm with you, I can never read your mind Why don't you know? I'm lying when I say I'm fine

Why don't you learn how to love me? When I can't sleep, would you hold me? I'd only cry if I can't speak Should've shown you how to love me

Lila sat on her living room floor scrap paper filled with lyrics and chords surrounding her, as she sang lyrics and strummed out the melody on her guitar. Her perfect voice filled the practically bare apartment, giving each word a perfect echo.  If you had of been listening, you could have sworn it was an angel.

It was dark out by the time the song was finished to Lila’s standards. She was happy, over the last week she had written countless songs but none of them felt so right. As a treat she started to run the bath, adding in some of the cheap shampoos she had brought to make bubbles. Baths always relaxed her, as her body felt like it was aching.

As she sat in the bath, she made a mental list of what she needed to do.

Firstly, she needed to get her hands on a piano. It was killing her not being able to compose on one and if she dipped into her trust money, she should have enough to get one second-hand.

Secondly, she needed to try and line up some gigs. She didn’t start until 4pm tomorrow so she would spend most of her day walking around to the cafes and bars nearby.

Thirdly she needed to buy more coffee. That was absolutely essential.

The bath water eventually went cold, so she got out and dried off, changing into some bell bottom jeans and mustard coloured cropped tee that she tied into a knot. She grabbed her purse and keys and left her apartment.  

The weeks went on and nothing much changed. Lila worked into the early morning hours most nights, she would write all day and on days off she would walk around the city trying to get gigs. Nothing worked.  Nowhere would let her play. She had been to every single Queen performance since she stayed at Roger’s. According to him, that was how she was paying him back.

Lila grew closer with the entire band.

She and Freddie would spend hours shopping and creating new ‘stage clothes’. Funnily enough, she was roughly the same size, so Freddie practically used Lila as a human mannequin. She didn’t mind. She loved how Freddie would shower her with compliments and boost her confidence like no other. Freddie reminded her of Rosie. Lila tried to ignore how much she missed Rosie, so she distracted herself with Freddie.

Brian became sort of a big brother to Lila, he very quickly became the one for all sorts of advice and help. He also came in handy when Lila had to build her furniture, she was slowly filling her apartment with.  Brian reminded her of home, it helped more than he probably knew.

John was quiet and just watched from afar for the first month or so, that was he found Lila out the back of the pub she worked at sobbing. Lila had a bad day, from not being able to pick up jobs to slicing her hand on a broken glass had been her tipping point. He held her and listened to her rambling until she calmed down. He would ask how she was, and it was like he could read through all her bullshit, he just knew.  John reminded her of Sadie, though she would never admit it. Not even to herself.  

That left Roger. From the moment Roger and Lila stood in the same room the sexual tension was so thick you could choke. From longing stares and lust filled glances, playful banter and suggestive comments from both sides it was so blinding obvious what they both wanted. It was like it had become a game. Who would crack first? Who would give in.? Lila thought she had the advantage. She would wear her short skirts and low tops; her hair fell perfectly, and she would sway her hips just slightly more. It drove Roger absolutely wild. He knew exactly what she was doing. Two could play that game. He would wear his shirts unbuttoned and hair messy, his smirk would dance across his face whenever their eyes met.  Lila swears she had never been more sexually frustrated in her life.

In the almost three months she had known the boys they had never once asked why she came to London, and in fear of what they would think Lila never told them about her music. She would go to plenty of their band practices and gigs and sing along softly but never enough to catch their attention.

That was until they had all come to her apartment in the afternoon, the only one of them that had ever been inside of her apartment was Brian and they were curious. So, she offered to cook dinner for them. She had the day off, so Lila had gone to the local food market and collected all her ingredients for her favourite meal.  She had cleaned the entire apartment, or so she thought she had grown so accustomed to the papers covered in sheet music and lyrics that she just straightens them, not thinking to move or hide them.

When she heard the door knock it was, of course, Brian and John, perfectly on time. Lila welcomed them in offering drinks and what not. The three sat around in her living room just chatting as they waited for the other two to arrive. Roger arrived next. Looking absolute ravishing of course, not that Lila would ever let Roger know that.

“ finally gracing us with your presence”  Lila tone was jokingly as she took his coat and hung it up for him, Roger got distracted by Lila’s ass before she shook himself out of his trance and commented back,

“yeah well I was deciding if I wanted to be poisoned or not”  they both playfully rolled their eyes and they got comfortable in the living room, joining in with Brain and Johns conversation  

Freddie arrived not much later, fashionably late of course. Dinner goes well everyone enjoys Lila’s cooking, playful banter was thrown across the table and everyone had a smile. After dinner, everyone retreated back into the living room and Roger is fidgeting with the papers sitting on the table next to him,  too distracted by Lila’s tight Demin skirt and dusty rosy coloured shirt that’s expertly tied just above her navel. Her legs are crossed, and her head was held up by her arm resting on the edge of the sofa. She was listening so intently to Brian’s story about space or something boring that Roger was sure of.

He looks down at the paper in his hands. It's lyrics. Song lyrics. The music notes below it is a dead giveaway. Roger read through the lyrics quickly and he didn’t recognise them, so it must be an original song. The lyric seemed so personal but also so familiar  and before he could  think the words fell from his lips,

“Lila why didn’t you tell us you wrote music”  the shock on her face cause him off guard, she looked so embarrassed, which he couldn’t understand the song was amazing he was sure it. Lyrically it was stunning.

“Oh, it uh never really came up I guess” Roger rolled his eyes, why would she hide this. She was clearly talented.  But before he could question further Freddie jumped in,

“so you sing my darling, what about instruments” Lila nodded and looked down playing with her hands as she spoke

“Yeah I uh I sing, and I play the guitar, and piano since preschool and little drums as well” she paused before continuing “I played bass a little in high school as well, but it hurt my fingers too much, so I gave up”  they all sat there astounded.

Lila. Their Lila sounded like a music prodigy and there she was working in some dodgy bar in downtown London.

“well love you must simply play something for us, something you’ve written please” Lila shook her head,

“Fred i-I couldn’t, I’ve played in front of plenty of people but you’re the best musicians I’ve ever seen It would just be embarrassing”  Freddie wasn’t having any of it he wanted to hear Lila play. He would hear Lila play if it was the last thing he did.

“well then I refuse to leave until you do so”  roger piped up as well,

“me too I wanna hear you” this encouraged Brian and John who both joined the mini protest. Lila rolled her eyes and stood up, of course, they were going to be stubborn mules.

“if it really means that much I’ll play, let me grab my guitar” she scurried off and they all started chatting excitedly. Worried that they may have gotten their hopes up, what if she was bad. They all promised they wouldn’t embarrass her or hurt her feelings no matter what she sounded like.

They all watched her every move as she sat on the armrest, a crème coloured acoustic guitar in her hand. She took a deep breath and started playing,

When I'm with you

I can never read your mind Why don't you know I'm lying when I say I'm fine Why don't you learn

How to love me When I can't sleep Would you hold me I'd only cry If I can't speak Should've to show you How to love me

Her voice was so angelic. Everyone sat there in awe as she played and sand the entire song not missing a beat. Her dainty fingers danced across the strings playing chords like they were made for her.  She finished, and nobody moved. Everyone was so entranced by her voice and the melody to even say a word.

“I knew it was bad, I …i shouldn’t have played just forget” Freddie scoffed he looked almost offended,

“forget, you want me to forget the best voice I’ve ever heard, darling you’re an angel”  Lila tried to shoot down the compliment, but no one would let her get a word in between their praises.

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