#sbb fic

Echoes of Us

“I didn’t think you’d come,” Mickey whispered, risking taking a tentative step closer. Ian crossed his arms over his chest defensively. “Well.  I’m here.” “You left.”  Mickey looked down at his feet, kicking at the dirt. “No.”  Ian pressed his lips into a thin line, the same insatiable anger he’d felt the other night returning.  “You.  Left.”

---

Years after Mickey’s band got their big break and left Chicago, an interview sparks rumors about the person he claims to have left behind.

At twenty one years old, Ian didn’t think he’d be back at home trying to piece his life together.  The last thing he needs is Mickey Milkovich suddenly reappearing after years of radio silence.

As echoes of the past collide with the present, the boys are forced to confront whether the love they once shared is worth fighting for - or better left behind.

Chapters: 5/12 (to be continued...)

Read here on AO3

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With amazing art by @deathclassic ❤️

There’s a lot of different kinds of people you see in the airport: the power business phone talker, the person who doesn’t know where they are, cheesy up-and-coming villains arriving to defeat Captain America… 

Wait.

That last one isn’t something Bucky Barnes ever thought he would have to deal with working TSA at baggage claim, but well. Here he is. They show up with motives from ‘he’s immortal!’ to ‘he’s too hot to exist!’, and Steve Rogers himself is just happy to be there. Superheroes are weird. 

‘How the hell do you make a threesome with another man feel like a quintessentially heterosexual activity when you’re the gayest motherfucker I know? With him of all people?’ Suguru cringes. ‘What do you even get from it?’ Yuki asks, before immediately changing her mind. ‘Actually, don’t answer that.’ They fall into an uneasy silence, broken by the excited ripple that goes up as the celebrant makes her way down the aisle. That means Satoru and Shōko are together by now. First look for one another’s eyes only, whispering confessions somewhere no one else can hear them. Secrets that even Suguru doesn’t know. ‘You should stop fucking them,’ Yuki finally murmurs. ‘Marriage changes everything.’ Now, as the moment approaches, her voice has taken on an uncharacteristic gentleness. ‘He’ll never choose you, Suguru.’ ‘I know that.’ It’s a bitter pill to swallow. Marriage changes everything. ‘What I’m saying is, I think it’s over.’

For Suguru, attending his best friend's wedding is the cruelest twist of the knife in a wound that just won’t close. Then he discovers there are yet deeper ways to hurt.

A canon divergent unrequited love triangle fic, adorned with flowers— read on AO3 ♥

There's something about RY X for me. His music is incredibly atmospheric; it paints formless shapes and emotions in my mind so effortlessly. It feels like being handed a lump of clay, an abstract idea, and a pure feeling. In my mind, this is the song that accompanies the one and only sex scene in Something Blue, Borrowed. I hope I can capture the same kind of intense intimacy and vulnerability that this song evokes for me.

I found this performance from the Roundhouse last night. Not only is it the perfect venue for music that demands this kind of intimacy, but it's with the London Philharmonic Orchestra too? I'm devastated I didn't know about it at the time. I would have given my left arm to be there.

I'm also blown away by how close to the studio recording it sounds. It's actually really rare that live performances improve on the studio recording for me. When you're in the crowd, there are other factors in play, but listening back to a live recording can sometimes feel a bit disappointing. It rarely captures the same atmosphere. That doesn't apply here, so if you enjoy the video above, it's well worth checking out the entire performance on YouTube.

I mentioned that Something Blue, Borrowed is the first time I've been carried on an urgent wave of raw creative energy like this since Thunder and that, too, took inspiration from an RY X song of the same name. Bless your brain and your hands, RY X, and please keep making music so I can keep borrowing from it.

Echoes of Us

Final Update

“I didn’t think you’d come,” Mickey whispered, risking taking a tentative step closer. Ian crossed his arms over his chest defensively. “Well.  I’m here.” “You left.”  Mickey looked down at his feet, kicking at the dirt. “No.”  Ian pressed his lips into a thin line, the same insatiable anger he’d felt the other night returning.  “You.  Left.”

—

Years after Mickey’s band got their big break and left Chicago, an interview sparks rumors about the person he claims to have left behind.

At twenty one years old, Ian didn’t think he’d be back at home trying to piece his life together.  The last thing he needs is Mickey Milkovich suddenly reappearing after years of radio silence.

As echoes of the past collide with the present, the boys are forced to confront whether the love they once shared is worth fighting for - or better left behind.

Chapters: 12/12

Word Count: 60k

Read here on AO3 or start from the beginning here

Suguru is known to have self loathing to the point of delusion, so I think he makes it seem way more one-sided than he realizes.

Shoko and especially Satoru are very ambiguous in how they feel in this fic, but from what I gathered in the text they do care for him.

“It was Shoko’s idea.” When I first heard that line, it was a gut punch. But how it’s worded doesn’t make it seem like Satoru was ever against it. He could’ve said “This is for Shoko,” or something like that, but he just stated she came up with the idea.

I’m just making theories here, but regardless of whether this is romantic of deep platonic feelings they feel for him, they truly want him close in their lives.

Sorry, just had a lot of feelings about this..

Anon, there is absolutely no need to apologise. The differing interpretations of this fic are everything to me and I love hearing about them from readers!

Regarding your interpretation, you are not the only one to come to this conclusion. As I said in a reply to someone else earlier in the week, I have my own ideas about SatoShoko's feelings towards Suguru in this fic, as well as what they know or don't know. However, seeing everyone else's readings has made me consider new perspectives, too.

I cried all night and even after a few poor hours of sleep I'm still vibrating in the aftermath of emotions I felt through. I didn't want to read 'Something Blue, Borrowed' (what a brilliant, a genius title — I've been thinking about that a lot too) at first, because romantic sashisu is not really my cup of tea, but the devil has possessed me and after reading the summary + first few paragraphs it was already too late, I couldn't let it go. Perhaps it's your amazing writing that contains so much raw emotions, your deep understanding of characters, your magic way with words, or maybe all of this and something more, that I can't even describe... it hit me so hard. I think any person who has ever experienced unrequited love would agree that you depicted the pain so precisely, your readers literally can feel it in their chest.

As someone has already mentioned, one of the most thrilling part is the ambiguity of Satoru's feelings, and I loved it. Suguru can't be a reliable narrator either, can he? Cause he's so drenched in the constant need to hide his true emotions; in guilt, in shame — he might as well never believe his feelings could be reciprocated. 'Suguru can scarce believe it' — oh yeah. (By the way the repeating lines is something I really adore in your writing style, it's always so on point.) But maybe it's just the doomed satosugu shipper in me that wants to believe there IS some hope, cause I can't see Suguru falling apart like this, it's TORTURE.

Also... your impeccable smut. It feels so intimate without being described in a straightforward way. I love the vagueness of it, it leaves room to reader's imagination. But at the same time it's very sensual and emotional.

I wanted to ask since I haven't found any information about this: do you allow translations? I think this work will haunt me (in a good way) and it would be really an honour, a pleasure, a challenge to try to translate it to my native language. I used to publish translations on another website but recently moved to ao3 (my pseud is letheargic).

And again — thank you for such a beautiful and heart-wrenching peace, it will hold a special place in my heart, just as some other amazing works of yours.

Ohhh rennie ♥ I am hugging you so tightly! If it makes you feel better, I didn't get much sleep last night either. I also take psychic damage from my fics, albeit for slightly different reasons. Before I dig into anything else, I want to answer your question about translations so it doesn't get lost among all my yapping!

First of all, I'm genuinely honoured to hear that you want to put your precious time and effort into translating my work. It's such a compliment, so thank you very much. Secondly, you're right that I haven't published any information about translations or other transformative works of my fanfic. Someone recently asked for permission to translate Over the Threshold into Mandarin Chinese (and from what I can deduce from their lengthy translator's notes, they're doing a very thoughtful job of it) so perhaps it's time to add a statement to my AO3 profile. Thank you for making me aware of this matter and for reaching out first.

With that in mind, I'm very happy to tell you that I allow translations of my work by people who ask for permission (as you have here) with one condition, which is that the translation is only published to AO3 where it can be associated with the original work. Since you've shared your AO3 username, I don't think that will present an issue for you, so please feel free to translate Something Blue, Borrowed if you'd still like to! As I said, it's such an honour, so thank you again ♥

Onto the rest! More than anything else, I want to thank you for putting your faith in me with this story. I expressed this sentiment yesterday, but no one is obligated to make themselves uncomfortable for the sake of a story. Lots of people turn to fanfic to seek sweet escape, and this is probably particularly true for a series as dark as JJK. It's an entirely valid way to enjoy fanfic. However, I firmly believe that the most rewarding experiences take place outside our comfort zones. This goes for everything in life, but also for fanfic — for both readers and writers!

This was new territory for me too, and it's such a privilege when a reader trusts me enough to take my hand and let me bring them on an uncharted journey with me. More than anything, I'm delighted when it turns out to be worth it. Despite the pain, it sounds like it was worth it for you and I'm really, really glad.

As for Satoru, my favourite thing about this fic is how open to interpretation it is. I've already seen multiple conflicting readings put forward and it's fantastic to learn how differently people view the story and the characters depending on their perspectives. Obviously I have my own ideas, but the truth is, I tried really hard to keep Satoru's feelings a secret from even myself. Shōko's, too, to a lesser extent. I really love that you can read each of these two characters as either the most selfish or most selfless person alive in this fic, and neither reading is more valid than the other according to what's actually in the text. If you see hope in it, ren, who's to say you're wrong?

Lastly, I'm really happy to hear you share my soft spot for repetition and that you enjoyed the sex scene! I didn't want anything to distract from the intense emotional intimacy of the moment, but it's much more of a challenge than writing graphic smut, so I'm really happy you like how it turned out. I like how it turned out in the end, too.