@riverswept  !!
there’s knocking at the door.
he considers just not answering it  –––––  same way he hasn’t been answering his texts or his voicemails for the past WEEK.  casual ,  like it isn’t tearing him apart to be so lonely.  it’s better this way ,  he tells himself ,  better to accept that he’s fucking self - destructive and at least save his friends from the inevitable explosion ,  save alex from being caught in the blast ,  but john isn’t good at doing what’s better ,  and he’s dying a little more each day post - breakup.
there’s not a huge list of people it could be ,  though.  at this point ,  it’s not alex  ( they’d split with a bad fight and john’s ignored his attempts at reaching out for a whole week ,  he’s surely GIVEN UP by now ) ,  and he’s pretty sure most of their other friends sided with alex ,  as they probably should. CURIOSITY gets the better of him  ––––––  chin tucked down to his chest ,  gaze barely lifting from the ground ,  he goes to unlock the door.
❝  ang –––––  ❞    face is crafted to be CAREFULLY NEUTRAL ;  he’s trying hard not to show weakness ,  not to show how tired he is after all that’s happened.  ( it was his fault ,  after all.  he doesn’t get to be sad about that. ) head shakes minutely as hands tug at the edges of his sleeves ,  then cross arms over his chest ,  unsure of where to go ,  that fidgeting the only sign of how uncomfortable he is.     ❝  told you i’m fine.  i’m FINE.  seriously.  ❞    he’s not very convincing ,  though he keeps up the crafted INDIFFERENCE in his voice ,  his only defense at this point  ;  the only thing keeping him from falling apart.
