there’s knocking at the door.
he considers just not answering it ––––– same way he hasn’t been answering his texts or his voicemails for the past WEEK. casual , like it isn’t tearing him apart to be so lonely. it’s better this way , he tells himself , better to accept that he’s fucking self - destructive and at least save his friends from the inevitable explosion , save alex from being caught in the blast , but john isn’t good at doing what’s better , and he’s dying a little more each day post - breakup.
there’s not a huge list of people it could be , though. at this point , it’s not alex ( they’d split with a bad fight and john’s ignored his attempts at reaching out for a whole week , he’s surely GIVEN UP by now ) , and he’s pretty sure most of their other friends sided with alex , as they probably should. CURIOSITY gets the better of him –––––– chin tucked down to his chest , gaze barely lifting from the ground , he goes to unlock the door.
❝ ang ––––– ❞ face is crafted to be CAREFULLY NEUTRAL ; he’s trying hard not to show weakness , not to show how tired he is after all that’s happened. ( it was his fault , after all. he doesn’t get to be sad about that. ) head shakes minutely as hands tug at the edges of his sleeves , then cross arms over his chest , unsure of where to go , that fidgeting the only sign of how uncomfortable he is. ❝ told you i’m fine. i’m FINE. seriously. ❞ he’s not very convincing , though he keeps up the crafted INDIFFERENCE in his voice , his only defense at this point ; the only thing keeping him from falling apart.
