SIENA ROSSO APPRECIATION WEEK - DAY 4: FAVORITE ROMANTIC PAIRING
"We cannot be together. I know that now. This world shall not permit it. But what if we were to find ourselves in another situation - at a place where you and I might be accepted - with none of the shame nor recriminations that this society grants us. Would you have me then?"
"You talk in dreams, my lord, and yet you deprive me the luxury of sleep."
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Fandom: Bridgerton
Characters: Siena Rosso, Anthony Bridgerton, Simon Basset, Daphne Bridgerton, Violet Bridgerton
Pairing: Anthony x Siena
Rating: T
Words: 4.721
Summary: Siena decides to go to the ball with Anthony.
A/N: So I wanted to write something like this for a while now. Originally, I wanted for Siena to agree to the ball and then have them break up there. But I’ve just written a fanfic ending with their canon breakup so I gave this an open, happy ending. This turned out longer than expected but I felt like I needed to start the oneshot with Siena actually making the decision to go to the ball. So it’s also a bit angsty in the beginning.
Anyway, hope you like it :)
[you can also read it on AO3]
Siena examined herself in the mirror. The dark lavender gown she wore looked beautiful. Genevieve had given it to her as a present some years ago, and Siena had kept it in the back of her wardrobe since then, never believing she would actually wear this at any point – except perhaps for a performance. The dress was quite simple, but the layered skirt, shiny silk and decent floral embroidery made it look fairly elegant and expensive. Not something she would usually wear. Genevieve had told her back then that she believed it would look gorgeous on her, and that Siena did not know what the future might hold. She had been right.
As pretty as it looked, Siena still felt somewhat odd. She forced herself to a smile then. That was what had been missing – she had looked fairly miserable.
She did not feel miserable, just conflicted. She had been conflicted about getting back together with Anthony, about his proposition to join him at the ball, and about accepting his invitation. She knew it was insane. She was doing the very thing she had always tried to avoid: she would become the centre of scandal and scrutiny. As beautiful as the idea sounded, it was still mad.
Perhaps, had he asked her months ago, she would have felt less conflicted. Of course, even then, she would have believed it to be insane. Their future together had always been very clear: He might marry at some point and she would be his mistress. Nonetheless, she had always wished things could be different; that he could take her out to dinner, or to a nice evening at the theatre. So maybe, had he asked her back then, there would not be too many doubts and worries clouding her mind. But things were different now.
She still remembered many weeks ago, in the bedroom of her old apartment, when he had told her to leave – when he had abandoned her, leaving her without protection or security. She had trusted him, and he had betrayed her. Somehow, she had been able to forgive him, and she did want to trust him again, but she did not know whether she could. Had anything really changed? Now, he wanted to take her to a ball – apparently, he did not care anymore, but what if he changed his mind again? He could easily do so, without much consequence. Sure, he, too, might suffer from scandal, but he was a man, and a wealthy one at that. He would survive the scandal and disgrace, but Siena might not.
She sighed, then got out of the dress. She could not do this, she knew that. She sat down in front of her dressing table then, removing her make up and unpinning her hair, staring at herself. She was not a lady, and she could never be that for him; could never be what he needed nor expected – or rather what society expected. But no matter how much he constantly complained about that society, he had taken his place within it. He had never known anything else either way; had never known her life.
As she thought about what to possibly tell him – thought about whether, perhaps, none of this was worth it – she was startled by a knock on the door. She knew it was him. She sighed again, then stood up and went downstairs.
When she opened the door, he had a small smile on his face. It vanished immediately, however.
“Is something wrong?” he asked, clearly surprised to see that she was not dressed yet.
Siena looked down then. “I thought about it,” she told him, avoiding his eyes. “I thought about going to that ball with you, but … I cannot do this.”
He said her name then, his voice confused, prompting her to look up at him. “What is going on?” he asked then. “I thought you liked the idea.”
Siena simply shook her head. Had he not noticed her hesitation after he had asked her to the ball? Had he ever considered the position he was putting her in? “I don’t,” she told him then, firmly. “This is madness.”
Anthony stared at her, confused, and for a moment it seemed as if he wanted to retort something, but then he looked over his shoulder, back to the carriage, before he said, “Let’s go inside.”
Siena just shook her head again but he did not wait for an answer. He went past her then, inside the flat. She sighed, exasperated. She did not need to have a conversation with him. The truth was that she needed him to leave her alone.
Still, she followed him into the drawing room but before he could say anything, she asked, “Did you ever, for a single moment, think about what I would have to go through? Consider my position in life?”
“Of course I know about your position in life,” he replied then, still clearly confused. “Why do you think I was providing for you?”
“Yet you had no trouble leaving me; no trouble throwing me out,” she retorted then, angry at his confused reaction. “Despite all of your promises, you had no trouble breaking every single one of them. Do you know what this could do to me?” she asked. “Can you imagine the scrutiny I will be greeted with? The hostility I might receive? And I have to rely on you for keeping your word,” she added as he did not reply anything. “Rely on you to protect me, even though you have shown me in the past that I can very clearly not trust a single word from you!”
The look of confusion had vanished then as it was replaced by an almost pained expression appearing on his face. He looked down before he said, “I am sorry, Siena. I know that I made mistakes, and perhaps you are right … I did not know. Maybe I still don’t understand completely.” He looked back up at her then. “I did not think. I just wanted you to join me at the ball, that is all.”
“Why?” she asked then. “Why did you ask me to go to that ball with you?” He just stared at her, as if unable to understand her question. “If you are trying to turn this into something it cannot be and will not be, because you are unhappy with your life-“
“I asked you because I wanted you there,” he interrupted her, shaking his head. Now, he appeared almost angry as well. “I asked you because … because I do not care anymore. I don’t want to hide away with you anymore.”
“We both knew that it would always be like this,” she reminded him. “I’m an opera singer, not a lady.”
“I know that,” he retorted but his slight anger had vanished. “But there are countless of married man out there, flaunting their mistresses. If I, an unmarried man, were to court an opera singer, then that is simply my business. We do not have to hide.” Siena sighed. “Look,” he added then, “if you do not want to go to that ball, then we don’t have to. If we have to continue to meet in secret, I am fine with that. I just want to be with you.” He gave her a small smile but Siena was unable to return it. “I know I have made mistakes, and I know that I have been unreliable, but I don’t want my mistakes to be the reason for why you do not want to attend that ball. If you are scared of the consequences, we do not need to go. But please, do not decide to hide away simply because you believe you cannot trust me anymore.”
“So I can trust you?” she asked then.
He stared at her for a moment, silently, before he looked down again. “I am sorry for what I have done,” he said then, looking back up. His expression was gentle now. Siena tried to seal her heart from the almost pleading gaze that appeared on his face. “I know I messed up, and I know that I have hurt you. I can apologize a million times but I cannot give you an explanation.”
“I’m aware of your explanation,” she told him then, looking away. “Or your lack thereof. But can you tell me that in a week or a month or a year you won’t feel the same again? I have never believed you to be dishonest within your promises,” she added, looking at him again. “I believe you have never thought them through.”
He just stared at her, silent. “You are right,” he said eventually. “But I’ve been trying … I’ve been trying to make things right.” Siena just shook her head, about to retort something, but he did not let her. “I know my promises might sound hollow now but I’ve been trying … trying to make it up to you. I tried after the duel – I wanted to provide for you, regardless, but you were already gone … already had someone else.” She looked at him surprised. That was the first time she heard about this. But she knew he was not lying to her. “I’m aware of my mistakes, but please … let me make it right.”
Now she was the one who was staring at him. She knew that she had already forgiven him for his mistakes – perhaps it was foolish but her heart had decided to do so. She knew his thoughts, his feelings, and it had allowed her to forgive him. But could she trust him again? Trust that he would not leave her on her own again? She had someone else to rely on now; someone she knew she could trust.
Suddenly, she felt angry again. She knew that it had all been Anthony’s fault, but in the end, the reason he had done all this was because of society. Siena could understand him well; she had always tried to play her part. She knew that, otherwise, she might not survive in this world. But she felt tired of it. She could forgive him all she wanted but she knew it would be foolish to stay with him; would be foolish to trust him again. Her feelings did not matter – they never mattered.
She sighed. Were she in a different position, she could make a decision simply based on what she wanted. What would she say then? Of course, she would go to that ball with him; of course she would be with him. Could she allow herself to? But did it really matter? This world had never cared about her either way.
“I will go to the ball with you,” she said then and her own words took her by surprise; and him as well. His face suddenly lightened up but before he could say anything, Siena added firmly, “But I will need your word that you will not leave me on my own again.”
“I promise, Siena,” he said immediately.
“I’m serious, Anthony,” she told him, and he stared at her, surprised at the use of his name. She rarely ever called him that.
“I mean it,” he said then, with an almost solemn expression on his face. “I will provide for you. I will protect you. No matter what happens.”
She looked at him. Perhaps she still trusted him, despite her intuition telling her otherwise. She sighed again, then said, “I guess I will have to change back into my dress then.”
He smiled at that before he said, “I brought you flowers.” He handed her the flowers and this time, a smile appeared on Siena’s face as well.
“I like roses,” she replied as she took them. “Although I prefer red ones.”
“Well, next time, I will bring you red roses.”
Siena laughed quietly at that, then went back upstairs. Was this mad? Definitely. But she did not care anymore. She had made a decision. And should Anthony leave her again, then she could damn herself for trusting him another time. But she would certainly not let society dictate her life. All it had ever given her was misery. Anthony had brought misery upon her as well, but also joy and happiness and peace – and that by far outweighed all the pain.
She put the flowers aside then and changed back into her dress before turning her attention to her hair and make-up. She knew they were probably already late, so she tried to hurry. As she felt that she looked presentable, she pulled over a shawl and went back downstairs.
Anthony was standing in the hallway, and as she came towards him, he turned around, staring at her. “You look beautiful,” he said. Siena gave him a smile. She could tell by his familiar stare that he would much prefer to go back upstairs, removing her dress again. However, instead he reached out his arm for her to take before saying, “Shall we?”
They went outside then, and into the carriage, where they sat down opposite each other. As the carriage began to move, Siena realised that she still felt somewhat tense. She let out a long breath, looking down, trying to calm herself. It was still insane. She did not know what to expect. Surely, people would not say a single bad word about her with Anthony by her side, but whispers would still follow. And tomorrow, when she would show up to the theatre for her rehearsals, Anthony would not be there anymore.
Apparently, he had noticed her discomfort, as he sat next to her then, putting his arm around her shoulder. Siena looked up at him, trying to force a smile.
“Are you nervous?” he asked then.
“No,” she replied, then sighed and added with a more genuine smile, “I’m terrified.”
He chuckled at that. “Why? You never thought much about those events either way. Why should it bother you now?”
“Well, I have never been to an event like this before,” Siena told him then. “Not as a guest, at least. I don’t really know … what to do or say, or what to expect in general. And I doubt that most of your people will be welcoming me with open arms,” she added then.
“Can you dance?” he asked suddenly.
Siena looked at him, bewildered at the question. “Of course I can dance.”
“Then that is all that matters,” he told her, still a smile on his face. “We will spend the entire evening dancing, and I will be by your side every second of it. Don’t worry, it will be fine.”
She gave him a smile then. Perhaps he was right. And whatever might happen tomorrow should not concern her now. She could deal with the future when it arrived.
The carriage came to a halt. The driver opened the door for them, and Anthony stepped outside before helping her out of the carriage. The place they had arrived at looked huge, and she could already hear the music and laughter. They went their way, into the courtyard, and Siena’s breath got stuck for a second, in awe of the beauty of this place. She realised that a smile had formed on her lips. However, that smile soon vanished as she noticed that she was not the only one marvelling. As they entered, a few people started turning their heads towards them, whispering. Siena did not know whether they were wondering who she was, or whether they were whispering because they knew exactly who she was – she believed it to be the latter.
“Oh, there’s Hastings,” Anthony said then, and Siena followed him. The Duke was currently in conversation with some other guest, but as he turned to his side, noticing them, he excused himself and came towards them. Siena could see the surprise on his face, followed by a smirk.
“Bridgerton,” he greeted Anthony before turning to Siena, adding, “And Miss Rosso.”
Siena gave him a smile. “Your Grace.”
“Miss Rosso is my guest for tonight,” Anthony informed him.
“Ah, I see,” he replied, looking at Siena curiously for a second before saying, “So I believe the reason you have approached me at the club was not due to my charming personality and good looks.”
“I’m afraid not”, Siena replied.
He laughed at that. “That does hurt slightly.”
“Then I believe we are even, Your Grace,” Siena retorted with a smirk.
He gave her a smile. “I apologise for not showing up at the Opera that night. Although, considering the current situation, I do believe I should not be too sorry.”
“I agree,” said Anthony.
The Duke gave him a curious look. “So what about all your talk regarding duty and responsibility?” he asked. “Are you not, after all, taking your place in society?”
“I believe I am doing that right now,” he told him and added, “And I know that … certain things happened – certain words had been said, which I apologise for. But I would still hope for your support in this matter.”
The Duke looked at him for a moment before giving him a smile, saying, “All forgotten. And you will always have my support, especially regarding matters like this.”
Anthony smiled and they shook hands, as Siena watched them, curiously. She did not know what this was about, but certainly not just about her presence at the ball.
It was good to know that they had the Duke on their side, and she was fairly glad that her first conversation this evening had gone so well. Perhaps, if they danced for the rest of the night, it would remain that way.
Just as that thought had crossed her mind, Anthony spotted his sister. Siena, taking his arm, followed him to meet her.
She had heard many things about Daphne Bridgerton – or the Duchess of Hastings, as she was known now. Anthony had shared quite a lot about her, as she was the eldest of his sisters, and the first to be introduced to society, under his responsibility. And the past weeks, everyone at the theatre had been talking about her and the Duke as well. She could have not escaped the many rumours surrounding her, even if she had wanted to.
As they went towards her, Siena could not help but notice what a beautiful young woman she was. She looked very young but her expressions and demeanour could easily belong to a woman twice her age.
As Daphne noticed them, Siena could see the cautious curiosity appearing on her face. She had nonetheless a small smile on her lips as she approached them – possibly to hide the surprise.
“Anthony…” she said carefully, clear wonder in her voice, as she was looking back and forth between them.
He greeted her before he said, “This is Miss Siena Rosso.”
“The soprano?” Daphne asked then. “I have seen you perform at the Opera before. You are marvellous.”
“Thank you, Your Grace,” Siena replied, curtsying slightly.
“Miss Rosso is my guest for tonight,” Anthony told her. Daphne appeared confused for a moment, clearly unable to reply anything to that. Anthony broke the short silence then by saying, “Considering you are a married woman now, I believe I can be a bit more … upfront with you: Miss Rosso and I have been together for the past two years.” He looked down for a second, and Siena smirked slightly, realising that he was apparently embarrassed to talk to his sister about matters like this.
Daphne stared at him, surprised. “Together…” she repeated his words, still looking back and forth between them. Although Anthony had not really been upfront with his words at all, Siena could tell from Daphne’s expression that she had understood what her brother meant.
“I would have obviously informed you about this beforehand,” Anthony said then, looking back up, “but it was a fairly sudden decision.”
“Have you talked to the Duke yet?” Daphne asked then. “And does mother know?”
“I have not yet informed our mother, but I have just talked to your husband,” he told her. “He appeared to be quite delighted.”
“Well, then so am I,” she replied, and now the smile was back on her face as she turned to Siena. “I hope you will have a splendid time, Miss Rosso.”
“I am certain I will, Your Grace,” Siena told her. As she left, Siena added to Anthony, “That sounded like it was more for appearances than anything else.”
Anthony smiled. “Oddly enough, I don’t believe that. I feel like marriage might have changed her – for better or worse, I cannot tell yet.” He turned towards her then. “Now that we have greeted our hosts, you have the choice of what to do next: We could get a drink, we could dance, or we could talk to my mother.”
Siena looked at him, silent for a moment. The Duke had not been an issue, and she had been fairly curious about meeting his sister. The thought of talking to his mother, however, made her slightly nervous. She did not know too much about Lady Bridgerton, but she did know that Anthony loved her very much, and she also knew that his mother wanted for him to marry. She knew how protective mothers could be of their sons, and also knew that the Dowager Viscountess would probably not be too fond of meeting her son’s mistress.
“Maybe a drink before we talk to your mother,” she said then and Anthony laughed. “Perhaps we should dance first,” she added.
Anthony gave her a smile but then his gaze went past her and he said, “Too late, my mother has noticed us and is coming over here right now.”
Surprised, Siena turned around. Lady Bridgerton was, in fact, approaching them, her expression just as curious as the one that had been on her daughter’s face earlier.
Anthony greeted her and Lady Bridgerton gave him a smile before immediately turning to Siena. “Miss Rosso.”
“Lady Bridgerton,” Siena greeted her, trying to give her a small smile, although she still felt slightly nervous. Despite the welcoming smile on Lady Bridgerton’s face, there was something rather … dignified about her.
“Miss Rosso is my guest for tonight,” Anthony repeated for the third time this evening.
“I can see that,” Lady Bridgerton replied. “I am curious…” she added towards her son. “The last time we spoke, you told me that you were not seeing one another anymore.”
“Well, I … have changed my mind,” he told her then. Siena could hear the uncertainty in his voice, but his face was quite determined.
Siena’s gaze went to Lady Bridgerton then, who examined her son with a look Siena could not quite understand. Perhaps, she was trying to read Anthony’s mind, as she was looking at him quietly for a moment, not replying anything to his words. Then, suddenly, Lady Bridgerton’s eyes went back to Siena, and surprised, Siena looked down.
“I have heard about the new opera premiering soon,” she said then, prompting Siena to look back up at her. “I have also heard that, apparently, you have inspired it. It certainly sounds like it will be a success.”
“I do hope so,” Siena told her. “We will start rehearsals soon.” Her thoughts went back to the composer then. She had not informed him about attending the ball with Anthony, as she had not seen him since then – or thought about him at all, really. She felt slightly guilty now, knowing that he will probably find out tomorrow – through rumours at the theatre – that she had chosen another man.
Lady Bridgerton was still looking at her, and Siena wondered whether she should say anything further. Although she would prefer to remain quiet, as she was afraid she might say the wrong thing.
Thankfully, Anthony was the one who broke the silence then, saying, “Well, the main reason I have asked Miss Rosso to join me tonight was so we could dance together. If you will excuse us,” he added, reaching out his hand to Siena. She took it, giving him a smile.
As they joined the dancefloor for a waltz, Siena said, “That went well.”
“I certainly expected her to be more shocked,” Anthony replied. “But I don’t believe that I have ever seen you that flustered before,” he added.
“I was not flustered,” Siena protested and he smiled at her. “Perhaps I felt a bit … nervous about meeting to your mother.”
“Why?” he asked, slightly amused.
“Well … I wanted her to like me,” Siena told him. “Or at least not give her any reason to mislike me.”
He chuckled slightly at that. “I don’t believe there is anything you could have said to make her mislike you,” he said. “I’m certain she might not be too fond of this … situation, but if anything, she will be mad at me for it, not you. My mother is a kind woman,” he added. “You don’t have to worry. I’m the one who will have to deal with her reproval.”
Siena gave him a smile as they continued to dance. Even now, as she was swaying across the dancefloor in his arms, she could not believe that she had done this. She looked around then, and noticed the many faces – staring and whispering.
“They are all looking at us,” she said then.
“Just ignore them,” he told her. That was easy for him to say. Although, he was not wrong. Those people had never cared much about her either way; had never really respected her. It should not matter what they thought of her now.
So instead of paying attention to the gossiping guests, she allowed herself to get lost in Anthony’s dark eyes, enjoying this moment in his arms. She had never even dared to dream of something like this happening; always knowing they would spend their life together in secret. The thought put a smile on her face, and he smiled in return.
“I wish I could kiss you,” he whispered then.
Siena laughed quietly. “Now that would certainly be a scandal, my lord.”
He gave her another smile and it looked like he wanted to reply something, but suddenly, out of nowhere, it started to rain. Siena was taken by surprise, as was everyone around her. Women, shouting, as their dresses got soaked, letting the gentlemen help them run inside. Anthony, too, took her by the arm then, leading her under the roof. The rain had appeared so suddenly and heavily that, despite their fast reaction, Siena’s dress was completely soaked now.
“Well, that was a short dance,” Anthony sighed and Siena laughed. Then, she took a look around. To her left, there was a quiet corner, leading towards the garden, she believed. It was still raining, but they were both already wet, and it was a warm summer night. She gave him a smile and then went around the corner, knowing Anthony would follow her.
She entered the deserted garden, looking up at the sky for a second, letting the rain drops fall on her face. She smiled, then turned around.
Anthony was staring at her, smiling as well. She reached out her hand then. “A dance, my lord?”
He laughed, and then took her hand. They continued their waltz, with Siena leading him now, as the heavy rain was falling down on them. They swayed around for a while, staring at one another. Siena’s hand moved into his wet hair, caressing it. He gave her a smile, which she returned. She still did not know whether it had been the right decision – most likely not. But right now, in that very moment, she felt happy.
“You are the worst thing that ever happened to me, Anthony Bridgerton,” she told him with a smile.
“And you are the worst thing that ever happened to me, Siena Rosso,” he replied and Siena laughed.
She brushed through his hair, smiling at him, before she said, “But to my dismay, also the best.”
He looked at her for a moment, then bent down, softly putting his lips onto hers. She pulled him closer, deepening the kiss, as the rain continued to fall. She was happy. And perhaps, that was the only thing that mattered.
“He needs to look in and to have a moment of self-reflection before he’s ready to love someone else...” - Jonathan Bailey continuing to validate how Anthony had been in love before :)
I’m hopeful about s2 and I hope I can dig kanthony, but also it’s nice to acknowledge the love that Anthony had for siena as well.
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To ship two non-canon characters is not inherently disrespectful of a canon ship. To reimagine a canonically straight character as queer is not disrespectful. Fandom and fanfiction exists for a reason, and I am exhausted with people attempting to police it. Here's a thought: how about we live and let live?
It doesn't "pain" me to see eight straight couples in Bridgerton- it bores me. I quite frankly won't give too much of a damn if that is what it ends up being in the show as well- I'll just be less entertained, and continue to imagine all the other possibilities and maybe write them if I feel particularly inspired.
And here's the thing: the people shipping canon ships "longer than I've been on earth" don't need to give a damn about who I ship either!
"If you don't respect the other ships then don't expect them to respect yours." What is "respecting" a ship, I ask? Does it mean suppressing your imagination, your views, and your words online, so that other people don't feel triggered by queerness?
(And don't bother equating this with how some people feel about the Siena x Anthony ship. That's not the same and you know it- besides, even if we do ship Santhony, why should Kathony shippers give a damn?).
That is not how fandom works.
I'm an equal opportunity shipper. I enjoy reading multiple pairings with the same characters and as long as it's well written, I'm honestly down to read anything. And I have never torn down others for who they ship if they do ship exclusively canon couples- in fact, it's these other people who have repeatedly come into my inbox on Tumblr and attempted to police my thoughts and views on couples such as Eloise and Marina, Siena and Anthony, potential queerness in Bridgerton, and racism in Bridgerton.
Whether my ship is "portrayed justly" should not hinge on how other ships "deserve" to be portrayed. Again, live and let live. Let me ship in peace, and I won't give a shit about who you ship.
As for the divergence from canon not being possible where it concerns potentially queer main couples, I don't think it's out of the question. It is very much possible based on the radical changes the Bridgerton writers have already created within the universe. But whether it happens or not is a different story, and honestly, I won't be too cut up if the characters end up with exactly who they do in the Bridgerton book series. Again, I'll just be mildly less entertained. Besides, the possibility of otherwise will always exist in our minds, fueled by our imagination, our loves, and real history because queer people exist and have always existed.
And sure, we can call for more shows focused on queer characters, maybe even more queer historical romances, but it is not an either/or situation here: We can also reimagine canon straight characters as queer, and perhaps even hope for it where a show like Bridgerton is concerned, because that's what fandom is for.
We are not trivializing queerness. You are, in fact the ones erasing it, delegitimizing it, and dehumanizing it within the fandom space under the guise of "adhering to canon".
Okay, but I heartcanon that Anthony has a secret stash of letters that he writes to Siena but never sends. Some are straight up love letters, yes, but others are more ‘this thing happened and I immediately thought of you’ or ‘this is what I wish I could share with you about where I’m at in life rn’.
He keeps them locked away in a secret drawer, tied with one of Siena’s red hair ribbons. Decades after his death, they are discovered and published in a volume titled ‘The Lady He Loved In The Dark: The Bridgerton Letters’.
