and i dreamt of the night and you.

Rating: 4/5 Heat Level: 4/5 Pub Date: July 14th

Premise:

After Ember's father, the CEO of a fashion empire and a more covert drug empire dies, her wicked stepbrother Asad takes over with one caveat: he has sixty days to marry, and he wants to marry Ember, not only because she's the genius behind the drugs they manufacture, and also because he's always wanted her.

My review:

The most batshit, horniest, and darkest Cinderella-inspired romance I've ever read and I mean all those words in a complimentary sense. In a time when even mafia romances are starting to feel sanitized, Naima Simone goes all-in on BOTH a hero and heroine who are morally-grey, fucked up, and twisted... which makes them perfect for each other.

In many ways, this feels like such a classic mafia romance because daddy's dead, there's a criminal empire succession crisis AND marriage contract to be fulfilled... which is how Ember is coerced into an engagement with her hot evil stepbrother and childhood tormentor Asad. Where Ember differs from your standard mafia romance heroine is that she's willingly taking part in the organized crime element— she puts her multiple degrees to good use by creating the designer drugs that fund her family's empire. Her test subjects are... deserving, and she isn't afraid to put more lethal compounds to good use. In that sense, she's Asad's perfect counterpart, even though she hates his guts FOR GOOD REASON. He was her bully growing up, and his mother, the wicked stepmother of this story, abused her. I think the dark romance of it all allows you to buy into Ember falling in love with Asad despite this, though it does take a minute— AS IT SHOULD.

Naima Simone writes moments of violence with genuine shock factor where Asad is concerned, and in a way, it feels refreshing (see: what I said earlier about sanitized mafia romances). On the other hand, he's actually pretty damn down-bad for Ember from the start, even though he kind of(?) tries to push her away... with death threats. And despite their initial enmity, his devotion to Ember almost never wavers. Almost.

The sex:

If there's one thing mafia romances love, it's a virgin and, I guess, a surprise virgin, so the sex is actually more tender than you think... dare I say, ROMANTIC, as far as sex between two stone-cold killers go, and the dirty talk is off the charts insane— I'm telling y'all, Naima is a romance author who is So Good at writing dirty talk in a way I'm seeing less and less these days.

Overall:

You want something fun (and funny!) and dark and hot, this is your book, and I would highly highly recommend you try Huntsman as well as Ember.

Rating: 4/5 Heat Level: 2.5/5 Pub Date: June 16th

My review:

Lavanya Lakshmi promised a romcom inspired by DDLJ and she delivered exactly that! Beyond the Bollywood-worthy airport chase scene(s) and big fat Indian wedding of it all, it centers family as much as (if not more than) the love story, and really puts into practice the old adage that's forever applicable to Indians: when you marry someone, you marry their family.

So, this is a romcom the sense of romance books with light-hearted plots and a touch of humor being marketed as romantic comedies— a lot of the story actually centers around Simran, her deep sadness and unresolved feelings surrounding the death of her parents, never quite feeling like she belonged with her aunt's family, and ultimately her estrangement from them. Lakshmi wrote those feelings of loss and the pull towards one's homeland (and home, different though it may be) in such a poignant way without ever getting overwrought.

But now Simran is back! She's convinced to attend her cousin's two-week-long wedding in New Jersey just as she and her best friend's brother Leo start up a romantic relationship after years of waffling around each other. Leo decides the ultimate romantic gesture would be following Simran to the wedding... only for Simran to lie that she doesn't know him, and her and her cousins hatching a harebrain scheme named after their favorite movie to slowly introduce and ingratiate Leo with the family, so Simran's Aunt Veena and the others will approve of him

There is so much about Indian weddings that exposes the underlying dynamics of a family: the push and pull between the bride and groom's sides (often rooted in sexism), the nuances of different regional cultures within India (Punjabi vs. Tamil), and plenty of new insights about your parents' relationships lol. Obviously the culture isn't a monolith and the diaspora experience is different for everyone, but as a brown girl from Jersey, I thought Lakshmi did great on a rep level.

Like I said earlier, the romance is somewhat secondary— though it is driving the plot in the sense of Simran and Leo skirting around each other while doing wedding prep, and Leo trying to impress her family, it's not the main focus, with Simran's family drama taking the majority of the time. I thought the romance was fine— it's actually quite gentle and mature (anti-Bollywood basically lol), barring their DDLJ scheme and a couple Grand Romantic Gestures. Leo and Simran are Grown Adults in their thirties, and mostly handle themselves accordingly.

As for the sex, there is one technically-open door scene, though as they go beyond kissing, the language becomes more vague and euphemistic.

If you don't finish it, are you writing something else? I loved the story.

Oh thank you! I actually just reread it because of that ask and @viscountessevie was going through it too, and while the actual romance(s) felt half-baked at times, I felt SUCH nostalgia for the amount of research I did on the politics of the time, and all the cameos I wrote in— I was on something else in 2021-2022.

The following came from the various X "I'd Like To F..." anthologies but are available as individual novellas:

The Bootlegger's Bounty by Adriana Herrera: Rosalia stows away on a bootlegger boat only to be discovered by bad bad bootlegger Cam and his mobbed up second in command with a huge crush on him, Enzo. Cam agrees to let Rosalia stay if she has sex with him... and Enzo, who also insta-crushes on Rosalia, wants in on that too.

My Dirty Duke by Joanna Shupe: Violet has a crush on her dad's duke best friend Max, who is actively avoiding her, until she tricks him into seducing her— bonus points for ye olde nude pics.

The Chasing of Eleanor Vane by Sierra Simone: Eleanor is set to marry Ajax's bitchass nephew until she runs away from the house. Ajax tracks her down but they're forced to seek refuge from the storm... whatever will they do....

The Last Crimes of Peregrine Hind by Sierra Simone: *dashing highwayman* Peregrine kidnaps Alexander because of REVENGE purposes, except Sandy is a little too into the kidnapping and his kidnapper so-

The Conqueroring of Tate the Pius by Sierra Simone: During the Norman invasion, lady warlord Adelais is set to invade Far Hope Abbey but is staved off by the promise of 3 nights with Tate, the nun in charge of the abbey.

Lady Viper and the Bastard by Eva Leigh: Violet and Ian are hella enemies and are both tasked with splitting apart a young couple by seducing them, but honestly they're more into each other than their respective victims.

An Education in Pleasure by Eva Leigh: new duke Owen has always had a crush on his sister's older governess Cecilia and he ends up coming to her for sex lessons.

And here are some other HR novellas:

The Scandal of the Rose by Joanna Shupe: Actress Rose is super into her new admirer, a business tycoon, but Moore refuses to sleep with her until she agrees to be his mistress.

The Earl I Want for Christmas by Colleen Kelly: Lydia goes to local rake Gabo for sex lessons before she can marry her boring fiancé and they agree to a set period of no-strings sex around Christmastime.

A Midsummer Night's Duke by Colleen Kelly: Lydia's virgin older brother hooks up with a beautiful stranger during a midsummer festival, only to find out she is his sister's new teacher.

Rating: 4/5 Heat Level: 3.5/5 Pub Date: June 9th

My review:

There are lots of books out there being marketed as romcoms, but reading The Missed Connection might be the closest I've ever felt to watching an old 90s or early 2000s romcom on the big screen. For one, the set up is just as zany: Sasha meets a hot Italian mystery guy on a flight, and ends up accidentally emails her entire casting agency for help finding him— but that's not enough for Sasha. She decides to ask Wes, the ex-private detective who helped her with her stalker situation some years ago, to help find the mystery man too.

Which is a pretty awkward set-up! Sasha and Wes definitely had Something there, even though their paths collided years ago at a pretty rough point for both of them: Sasha was dealing with a stalker and still experiences symptoms of PTSD, and Wes was suffering from career burnout. Their reunion brings back a lot of those very mixed emotions, but Wes agrees to take her case.

In classic romcom fashion where there's two love interests, we get an healthy dose of jealousy from Wes— which veers into morally dubious territory more than once, but I thought Tia Williams did a really good job of writing a hero who is flawed but he's just So Down Bad for the heroine that you can't help but root for him. Because romance genuinely does feel like one of the last genres... last kinds of media, perhaps, where it's okay to be openly passionate and obsessed, I'll always root for characters like this, rather than conflate it with real life expectations and call this behavior *cringe* or *toxic*.

The sex:

Okay but the way Sasha kinda uses Wes for sex is actually HYSTERICAL, even though *I know* time #1 was supposed to be a *tense emotional moment* (some tragical flashback thigh-riding). Time #2 though... WOW. Who knew trying to get off to a guy's voice without... him realizing she's doing it could be so hot? I did laugh.

To be clear, there are more times than time #1 and 2, but honestly those live in my head rent-free.

Overall:

If you're looking for the perfect old-school romcom-feeling romance, complete with the classic nyc backdrop, this is your book! I'd highly recommend as a summer or beach read.