#samsaranmusing

( Hello everyone. Many people are saddened or upset about Samsaramusings deactivation here on tumblr. Hes help so many of us out so many times. I saved some of Sams writings and guides on my computer, I'll be re-posting them at times, So all credit is to Sam. May you find happiness where ever you are. - Levi )

One of the problems we all face in our lives is dealing with difficult, angry, obnoxious and aggressive people. They can be a teacher, an employer or manager, co-worker, fellow student, family member or even a “friend”. 

What do we do?

Well, it goes without saying that dealing with difficult people can be … well … difficult.  You see we cannot change other people. This is a tough one to accept but it is true. They are going to do as they will and the only thing we can do is decide how we are going to let their behavior affect us.

Who says we have to take offense when somebody is rude, pushy or obnoxious? In fact if we let their behavior influence our state of mind then we have granted them power over us.

Why granted?

Because words are just so much air. So long as there is no physical violence then words can be ignored, rejected or deflected. 

It is our ego that gets in the way of this. It is ego which can be hurt by a slight, insult or criticism. No ego, no offense. Besides, these people are soul sick, sick inside. Why else would they be deliberately trying to harm someone else, especially someone in their family?

Just as you would not be angry with a small child or a person with a brain tumor who said hurtful things you should treat these people as sick friends. Don’t fight back, don’t show pity or condescension just get out as soon as you can and forget about it. This is hard at first because ego wants to retaliate; however, it gets easier with practice.

In the beginning, maybe even for months or years, we will sometimes fail in this. After all we are trying to break not only a lifetime’s habit but 100,000 years of human conditioning. We want to fight back. It seems unnatural not to fight back, and it a way, it is. The trick is to view every single verbal attack as an opportunity. How well can we do this time? How long can I maintain my composure? Can I beat my “highscore” from last time? Keep at it. Not only is it good for you, but for them and indeed, since these emotions are transferred from person to person, for the entire world.

(Updated 9/8/13)

One of the problems we all face in our lives is dealing with difficult, angry, obnoxious and aggressive people. They can be a teacher, an employer or manager, co-worker, fellow student, family member or even a “friend”. 

What do we do?

Well, it goes without saying that dealing with difficult people can be … well … difficult.  You see we cannot change other people. This is a tough one to accept but it is true. They are going to do as they will and the only thing we can do is decide how we are going to let their behavior affect us.

Who says we have to take offense when somebody is rude, pushy or obnoxious? In fact if we let their behavior influence our state of mind then we have granted them power over us.

Why granted?

Because words are just so much air. So long as there is no physical violence then words can be ignored, rejected or deflected. 

It is our ego that gets in the way of this. It is ego which can be hurt by a slight, insult or criticism. No ego, no offense. Besides, these people are soul sick, sick inside. Why else would they be deliberately trying to harm someone else, especially someone in their family?

Just as you would not be angry with a small child or a person with a brain tumor who said hurtful things you should treat these people as sick friends. Don’t fight back, don’t show pity or condescension just get out as soon as you can and forget about it. This is hard at first because ego wants to retaliate; however, it gets easier with practice.

In the beginning, maybe even for months or years, we will sometimes fail in this. After all we are trying to break not only a lifetime’s habit but 100,000 years of human conditioning. We want to fight back. It seems unnatural not to fight back, and it a way, it is. The trick is to view every single verbal attack as an opportunity. How well can we do this time? How long can I maintain my composure? Can I beat my “highscore” from last time? Keep at it. Not only is it good for you, but for them and indeed, since these emotions are transferred from person to person, for the entire world.

I have to say I was shocked and pretty saddened when I discovered today that Sam's blog was gone. His wisdom and teachings meant a lot to me. I guess it is another lesson in attachment/impermanence. I will miss him. Luckily, some of his work has been preserved.

http://samsguides.tumblr.com/

https://web.archive.org/web/20140125131746/http://samsaranmusing.tumblr.com/

I have also gone through my archive to tag all of his posts that I've reblogged. You can find them here:

http://flowers-of-adaptation.tumblr.com/tagged/sam

For a long time posts from Musings by Samsaran populated my dash. Those posts made me glad. I wasn't alone. I got some glimmer of the popularity of Sam's blog the time he mentioned my blog and within a very short time got dozens of new followers. Sometimes I would go to the blog because it was a kind of garden of life-affirming beauty.

Then I pointed pointed my browser to the address and Musings by Samsaran was not there.

Teju Cole  is a brilliant writer and photographer. Over the years he has put up blogs. The first time his blog disappeared from the Web I was shocked, dumfounded. It's very rare for blog posts to move me to tears, as not only one of Teju Cole's posts had. His Web site provides a glimpse of the beautiful aesthetic of his photography and writing and the magical relationship of the two.

Not so long after the first blog I knew of by Teju Cole disappeared from the Internet, Cassava Press published his book Everyday Is A Thief. I'm pointing to that link because, strangely the link to the book on Cole's Web site is dead. But I notice that Random House is publishing the book for release in March of this year, Amazon. I mention Teju Cole as an example of loosing something online only to discover that all is not lost.

I do hope that nothing is going terribly wrong in Samsarn's life. My hunch is he's okay. In any case I love him, even while I know him only by his blog.

I am not a Buddhist. And as being a  teacher goes one might ask: What can I learn from a fool? The first and obvious answer to that is not to do as I do. If there is anything at all good to learn from me, it's in those moments when I am kind.

Samsaran introduced me to the word "Sangha."  The paragraph above is a necessary disclaimer, but I am part of the Sangha which congregated around Musings by Samsaran.  I bid you peace.

Max has done great work in organising the Skype group, which I've never joined in. That blog is where I've looked to connect with others in the Sangha. Of course there is rich meaning in the word Sangha and searching that tag provides a window into the broader community of Buddhists. Nowadays Buddhists communities can be found in many locales, and even where not there are others practising mindfulness to be found.

The aimless aim of Buddhism is to transcend Samsara. Samsara is the cycle of birth, life and death. Anybody who aspires to Nirvana is living in Samsara. When you transcend Samsara there are no regrets, no longing, no looking back, there is only Nirvana.

In Samsara we have attachments, desires, anger, greed, and ignorance. When we transcend Samsara we lose all that, but we see others still stuck in the cycle, still suffering, and so we help them.

A beautiful, compassionate, wise, brilliant, enlightened man, who called himself Sam, and shared his Samsaran musings to help relieve the suffering in the world, just took his practice offline. As we are delighted to transcend Samsara, we are delighted to get a final, powerful lesson in impermanence and attachment from Sam. Goodbye friend, thank you for the teaching. Enjoy Nirvana.