#samias

'No, not Castiel I'm afraid.' The angel standing on the other side of the room wears a vessel Sam remembers from earlier.

'You're Inias, right?' The angel seems please at the sound of his name, pale face splitting into a smile much like the one he'd given Castiel. He nods.

'Yes. I am Inias.' He steps forward, extending a hand to Sam. 'We did not get a chance to properly acquaint ourselves earlier. It's a pleasure to meet you, Sam Winchester.'

Sam is shocked into silence, numbly reaching out to shake Inias' hand. The angel frowns.

'You are upset? Or confused perhaps? Why?'

Sam shrugs slightly, his eyes falling to the ground. 'No angel has ever said it was a pleasure to meet me before - except Lucifer maybe, and I'm pretty sure that doesn't say anything good about me.' He scuffs the cabin's wooden floor with the toe of his boot and shrugs again. 'It's just unexpected.' Nice, he thinks.

The quiet left behind his words lingers and when Sam musters up the courage to raise his eyes from the floor, Inias is still frowning. With his shaggy mop of hair and slanting brows, he reminds Sam of a sad dog. It's strangely endearing.

Finally, Inias speaks again. 'All humans have misfortune in their lives, but yours has been spectacular. From the moment of your conception, a weighty destiny was laid on your shoulders - a destiny that would drive most men mad. So, from the first whisper of your existence, you have been set on a path from which you have no escape. In your short years on this earth, you've experienced more suffering and loss than most people endure in their lifetime. You have been corrupted by minions of Hell, coerced by the guardians of Heaven, treated like scum by your fellow humans, and beaten by the ill-made creatures that stalk through the darkness. Even your brother lays a heavy weight on your shoulders - the burden of his love is too much for one man alone.' He pauses, and Sam wonders where exactly this speech is going. Then the angel gives a small smile. 'And yet...'

'And yet?'

'And yet you chose to stand against that destiny - to fight for what you believed in, no matter what others told you. You've failed and faltered at times, but after everything that has been thrown at you, you're here and you're still standing. You're still trying to save the world, one monster at a time. You've forgiven the brother who forced your soul back into your body; forgiven the angel who broke your mind. You continue to fight for your cause and you continue to love.'

Inias stops suddenly and shrugs, looking very human. 'Our Father's best-loved creation was human beings. Sometimes the Host forgets that. But when I see humans such as you, who do their best to help the world around them in spite of everything it throws at them... it reminds me why. So yes, it's a pleasure to meet you.' 

Sam stands silently, struck speechless. A deep, old pain stirs in his chest and to his horror, his eyes start to prickle. His throat seizes up like it's full of stone, a strangled gasp tearing out of his mouth. Inias watches him, then places a firm hand on his shoulder and guides him to a chair. He sits down, the angel taking a seat beside him. Warm hands cup his face and raise it so that his blurry eyes meet the angel's.

'Only God can heal the wounds you carry. However, that doesn't mean it won't ease your suffering a little to give in to your grief. Nobody can be so strong all the time. Let go Sam.'

A gentle kiss is pressed to his forehead, like a benediction. It's accompanied by something cool settling in his veins that soothes and calms him, loosening the knotted muscles in his shoulders and draining all the tension out of him. The solid lump in his throat shatters and a sob wrenches out of him, followed by another, and another. Tears stream down his face, dripping off his chin on to the hands that hold his jaw. He gasps and chokes for air, heaving in great lungfuls that judder and jar on their way back out. His nose starts to run.

It's probably the ugliest crying anyone has ever done, Sam thinks somewhere in the back of his brain. But Inias doesn't seem to care, hands still clasped against Sam's face, his forehead resting against Sam's. It's bizarrely comforting.

When the ache in his chest has lessened and his sobs have subsided, another chaste kiss is pressed against Sam's forehead. This time, the coolness seems to chase away his sorrow, leaving him feeling strangely hollow - but peaceful too. Then Inias drops his hands and pulls away.

Sam instantly feels awkward, and searches his pocket for a tissue before blowing his nose loudly. After a moment, he meets Inias' gaze.

'Uh, I'm not sure what you did, but... thank you. A lot. I feel...better.'

The angel smiles. 'Thank you, Sam. It's rare these days for me to be able to help a human being - and it's nice to know that my grace is good for something other than smiting demons.'

Sam stares at him, shocked. 'That - that was your grace? But isn't it bad to lose grace? I mean, I thought angels only had a limited supply?'

Inias shakes his head. 'All angels and archangels who remain part of the Host have unlimited grace - although this vessel only allows me a finite supply while I wear it. Still, as an archangel, my supply is still greater than a normal angel, such as Castiel.' He sighs, his face darkening. 'Although Castiel is a poor example of an angel these days.' 

Sam is once again speechless, struck dumb by the realisation he's keeping company with an archangel (and who knew Cas had been such a badass when he faced off against Raphael, leading angels and archangels alike) and by the fact that said archangel seems to mourn Cas's loss like a human being.

'Sometimes I wish we'd never met Cas', he says at last. 'He doesn't deserve any of this.' Inias says nothing and Sam gets the feeling that he agrees, but is too polite to say so. The archangel is, without a doubt, the nicest member of the heavenly host that Sam has met so far. Then a thought strikes him. 'So why did you come here?'

Inias sighs, looking particularly tired. 'I had hoped Castiel might be here - or that you might know his whereabouts.' Seeing Sam's confusion, he explains. 'Castiel is lost to Heaven's sight now. This was why we thought he was dead and why it was such a surprise to see him at the hospital. Although I admit it would have been more pleasant to find him in a different state. It is a shame than an angel who once commanded the armies of Heaven should have fallen so low.'

Sam has no words of comfort to offer, so he opts for distraction. 'What's Castiel like in Heaven? What was it like to serve with him?'

'It was an honour to serve with him.' Inias smiles. 'Castiel has always been special, since his creation. Gabriel used to call him our little sparrow, because for all that he was small and plain by comparison to the rest of us, he was quick and clever. Over the millennia, he grew into a fine warrior. Admittedly Anna's command left a lot to be desired, but his actions were always laudable, regardless. And as a commander... his vision and his faith were astonishing. Such belief is rarely found, even in the most devout. He was...inspiring...' Inias' words trail off, his eyes clouded with remembrance and warmth. Sam wonders if the archangel isn't half in love with Cas - he certainly wouldn't be the first. Cas used to have a real knack for making you want his approval and respect, once upon a time.

Sam places a hand on Inias' shoulder, squeezing gently. 'I really think Cas will come back. I don't know when or how, but I know how much God means to him - how much being part of Heaven means to him. I don't think he's left you guys for good.'

Inias looks at him, eyes lit with hope. 'You think so?' Sam nods.

'I think so.' He smiles. 'Cas doesn't forget his friends.'

The smile Inias gives him in return is blinding. Then the archangel stands, head tilted to the ceiling. 'They're calling me. I must return.' He looks at Sam, eyes kind. 'If you need my help, or simply wish to talk, you need only pray.'

Sam nods, slowly. 'I'd like that', he says softly, and he means it.

Inias inclines his head, looking pleased. 'I hope I'll see you soon Sam.' Then he's gone in the sound of wing beats.