#sameme

New Year! New Me!  

You are probably still seeing that everywhere you look right now.  Social media posts are full of declarations and desires for the changes we all look to make in the new year.  It is as if one day on the calendar will magically transform us all into goal-squashing, super-fit, and ultimately better versions of ourselves.

New Year’s Resolutions are a common tradition.  We set our sights high on huge prizes like losing a bunch of weight or paying off thousands of dollars.  

The truth is – most resolutions fail before mid-month.  The New York Post suggests most people make it 12 days with their new resolution before giving up.  Trends would also suggest that we not only quit our resolutions, but we swing hard in the opposite direction.  

If I can’t lose weight I might as well get this caramel macchiato.  If I cannot pay off all my debt I might as well buy myself a new phone. Sound familiar?  

Does this sound like you? You are not alone.  

It is January 9th of this new year, and I am the same me.  New year – same me.  

Am I doing something wrong? No!  Neither are you.

While there is nothing wrong with having New Year’s Resolutions or goals or whatever you want to call it, I just want to be clear up front.  Flipping the calendar does not change us.  Changes happen incrementally over time with dedication and focus. Habits take at least 21 days of consistency to build.  One day at a time.  

Do you get frustrated when your resolutions fail?  Do you feel upset with yourself because you cannot seem to stay committed to big changes?

Welcome to the club. It is called being human.

I gave up New Year’s resolutions several years ago and have not looked back.  My new year’s resolution was to stop having them. Instead – I like to set myself up for success by focusing on small, incremental changes I can make.  

So, instead of resolutions, I began to choose themes for each year.  Some may call it a word of the year.  This word or words serve as a guide for any decisions I have to make that year, or for any plans I have to make.  For example, last year one of my words was Simple.  (Yes, I had more than one, but we’ll talk about that later). Whenever I felt overwhelmed by a decision or confused about what to do, I thought about my word.  How could I simplify each choice?  What was I doing to overcomplicate things?  (I am really good at that)!  Where was I making things harder than they needed to be? Simple.  

By filtering processes and decisions through that one word, I was able to give myself direction.  It was never about doing a big, grand thing. I did not need to alter my life dramatically.  Filtering choices through that word was something I could do all year.  

So, am I a new person? No.  I am still me.  I am just a me moving towards a new horizon.  I would suggest every day is an opportunity for growth.  None of us wake up the same as we were the day before.  So, in a small way, we are a new person every day. Every day can be an opportunity for you to be the you that you want to be.  Each day will then give you a new chance to create successes and learn from failures.  

It is okay if you are not a new you this year.  

Maybe instead of having these big grand plans every new year, which set us up for failure because we try too big, let’s focus on daily changes we can make.  

I am still me.  I have dreams, plans, and aspirations.  But I am not setting my life by the calendar.  I can be a new me every day.  Or I can be the same me as yesterday - trying yet again to live in the moment.  Because, one day at a time is all any of really get.  Why waste it?  

It has now been 74 hours since my last cigarettes'. 

My next commitment is to no longer personify voices.