#samaras yapping

The spiritual successor to Crack JJK headcanons based on nothing but vibes. Send me your own silly headcanons I would absolutely love to read them!!

2003-2007

He desperately tried to make Yuuji’s first word be “fuck.”

He got so sick and tired of having to watch the same Barney VHS tape while babysitting that he ripped the film out and blamed it on toddler Yuuji.

Yuuji always begs him to draw his tattoos on him every time he babysits.

One time toddler Yuuji broke Sukuna’s flip phone in half. Sukuna was too impressed to be mad at him for it.

2008-2013

He brought five year old Yuuji to a Slipknot concert and had him up on his shoulders with big noise cancelling headphones on… and also “forgot” to ask Jin permission to bring him beforehand.

He tried to do a trick on Yuuji’s razor scooter and accidentally broke it.

He took Yuuji with him to Warped Tour.

He got really embarrassed when Jin showed Yuuji his high school yearbook photos of him with a mohawk.

He has a leather jacket with pins and patches all over it and Yuuji LOVES wearing it when he comes over.

2014-2017

He cut Yuuji’s hair when he got into middle school and told Jin “I’ll be damned if my nephew has a bowl cut.”

When Yuuji got into a fight at school he asked him “did you win?” When Yuuji said yes he took him to get ice cream.

He had a white iPhone and dropped it, cracking the glass on the back; Yuuji colored in the cracks with neon pink sharpie.

The first time Yuuji snuck out Sukuna chewed him out when he got back home, telling him “I don’t care if you sneak off, but you fucking tell me next time.”

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I never see headcanons that aren’t smut/romance based so I decided to post some of mine that make me laugh!! :) if you have any goofy headcanons pleeeease add them in a rb/reply I would LOVE to read them!!!

Gojo is sick and tired of people telling him he looks like Jack Frost.

Yuuji’s favorite game as a kid was Kirby Air Ride on the GameCube.

Inumaki runs the Dril account on Twitter.

Choso asked Yuki for K-Goth recommendations but she thought he said K-Pop, he ended up unintentionally getting really into BlackPink.

Megumi refuses to tell anyone (especially Gojo) that he likes My Chemical Romance because he already gets called emo enough.

Higuruma had a flip phone until 2016.

Gojo called Geto the n word one time in high school and Meimei still won’t let him live it down.

Choso sends Yuuji sibling TikToks (like “when you and your brother have opposite vibes”) and says “this is us.”

Nobara is the worst driver out of the first years (which is scary because Yuuji can’t shouldn’t drive).

Nobara has an early 2000s bug and she put eyelashes on the headlights.

Yuuji drives a Jeep Wrangler and audibly says “skrrrt” every time he makes a sharp turn even if no one else is in the car.

Nanami never watches the TikToks Gojo sends him (and it offends Gojo so much).

Choso knows how to do trad goth makeup and he’s actually insanely good at it.

Since Gojo can see through his eyelids, sometimes he accidentally sleeps with his eyes open and wakes up with a massive migraine because of it.

Yaga ends every email with “Sent from my iPhone.”

Choso is really interested in watching fish, he could sit in front of a fish tank and just watch a fish swim around for hours like he’s in a trance.

Megumi is a total metal head and goes unexpectedly hard in a mosh pit.

Yuuji was genuinely devastated when mango Juul pods were discontinued.

Gojo has a Bitmoji and uses it constantly (to the point where it’s kinda cringey).

Meimei has a standard poodle.

Whenever someone sends Higuruma a meme he’ll just reply with a thumbs up or thumbs down emoji based on if he thought it was funny or not.