#sam sammy

Sam’s Journal - October 25th 1999

Dean came back. He just went for a walk outside. I knew he wasn’t going to leave me again, so I wasn’t worried, but I do feel bad for telling him to fuck off.

He says he has a lot to tell me.

I can tell he’s been crying, but he’s trying to hide it. He should know I see right through that.

Someone’s knocking on the door...

Dean’s actually smiling?

There’s a strange man here. Dean just brought him into my room.

Sam knows his brother well so he baits his trap with pizza. He has to drive into town to pick it up, so when he gets back, he puts it in the oven to warm, knowing the smell of pepperoni will make it up to Dean's room through the vent. He's not proud of himself—(yes he is)—but he hides. He leaves the pantry door open and stands behind it, where he knows Dean won't see him until it's too late, and waits. From his hiding spot, he watches Dean creep into the kitchen, nose practically twitching with interest.

Sam’s Journal - November 9th, 1999

John killed Dean.

That fucking asshole took my whole life away from me.

I woke up in bed, the doctor sitting beside me. I immediately started thrashing and he and Rufus held me down. Bobby wasn’t in the room.

I screamed again.

I can never get revenge.

I will never get to hold him again.

I’m done.

I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t -

Glass breaking in the kitchen. Bobby’s shouting.

sam whatcha doing here you should be helping some angels mister