#saltik

Di pertengahan Desember tanpa cerita,

kutemukan kau tanpa gairah.

Matamu sigap mencari bau alkohol.

Hidungku, setia memindai

bau-bau dari anggur yang keburu

disesap tikus.

"Rasanya ...," Kemudian kau bingung:

telah dilipatkah kain pemberian ibu?

atau: sudah tertata rapikah

uang pemberian ayah dalam dompet?

Ketika hujan datang seperti muntah,

pikiran kita

tiba-tiba ditabrak mobil—tak melayang.

Rasanya kita semacam sepasang kekasih

atau sepadu musuh yang saling incar darah

namun sendal belum digoreng,

kota ini masih suntuk mengutuk para petarung

organ tunggal, sementara langit terlalu padam

bagi orang-orang yang menunggu pohon mangga

fasih bertutur-tutur dengan koruptor.

Bingung kita mungkin, pada hari tua

yang akan tiba nanti, apakah surat pertanggungjawaban

atas indah kuntum bunga yang dicabut di tepi rumah itu

akan ada. Sebab semua yang sengaja ditanggalkan,

segala yang dipaksa lepas,

harus jelas dan tetap tegas tergurat.

Mungkin kalender akan habis jadi kenangan.

Tapi, Desember, bukan sekedar seorang anak kecil

yang iseng melihat sepasang manusia

saling bertanya, "Kapan bahagia selesai?"

Lalu, hanya ada aku yang kenyang,

memakan waktu, menantang kau-kau semua

memaksa lambung menyerap

After work shenanigans. 

I’ve been telling this ever since, how hard is it for me to squeeze in my social life in my work life. I mean, obviously, some of you could tell that I haven’t perfected balancing the work-life scheme. But yeah, I figured that I’m still young so I should at least make the most out of it. And if you really want something, you will make a way for it. 

Likewise, even after a 10 hour shift, I still chose to travel via PNR going to Manila. It was a crazy ride coz the train that I rode was the last trip. People came hustlin’ and suddenly everyone was an amazonian willing to do anything to claim their spot. 

It was a 1 hour ride from Alabang to Sta Mesa and my friends were already at the train station waiting for me. 

We bought some food and liquor and tried to catch the food place we’ve been planning to stay at. Fortunately, they were considerate of my schedule that they agreed to go there even it was already 9:30 in the evening. I had a meeting the next morning that’s why the only time I can be with them would be during the night.

After the breakup, I’ve done 3 things, among others, that I didn’t think I would be able to do if I were still in the relationship: Bikram Yoga, Football, and Mountaineering. 

Aside from working, drinking, series and movie marathon-ing, my life basically revolved around those extracurriculars. And I just feel that I’ve come to a point when I need a new point of interest. 

Here are some things that I’ve been wanting to do: 1. Be a Gawad Kalinga volunteer. (I’ve been wanting this ever since I’ve heard of GK and their visions. Sadly, walang opportunity for me to join. Wala akong naka-close that is into this. Tamad at mahiyain naman akong tao to actively present myself sa kanila on my own.)

2. Teach. (as a volunteer in an NGO, para walang pressure na kelangan kong maging magaling. Libre na nga, dapat magaling pa? Haha! Gusto ko lang ma-experience how it feels to be “on stage” and to explore din this industry.)