#saliors

Norman Lindsay - Boarded, 1954, watercolour; The Pirates, 1939, watercolour; Strange Seas, watercolour

When you look at the basics, it's just love, a relationship, two people who have chosen to be together, are attracted to each other in so many ways, not just the physical that so many people seem to add such importance to these days. There's something extremely sexy, attractive and irresistible about a man with a sense a humour, who can laugh at himself, that can have an intelligent conversation, that can cry, work hard and show emotion.

When we first met, it was or seemed to be a total cliché but in retrospect it wasn't like that at all because the unlikelihood of the meeting, the environment and the occasion led to an almost impossible future but there it was, that glimpse of the eye, an acknowledgement and dare it be said a smile across a very crowed space. It happened all the same, that look when you see something in someone's eyes, the process starts and whenever or not, it starts or ends right there with that look, you know and recognise what it means and where it could possibly go.

Sometimes we don't pay much attention to expecting the unexpected, we shy away form the possibility or ignore the signals but sometimes the force of nature tells us that here it is, this is an opportunity, take it, take it now.

It's not so important really how it happened but it happened all the same and that's how it started and along with it, was our ignorance of how difficult it might be. That's the thing when you grab hold of something unconditionally you don't think and why should we have done in any case. 

There we were smashing down our own little walls, fighting unconsciously for us and who we were and what we wanted and desired for each other. It wasn't easy whatsoever, the secrecy, the special glances between us, only us knowing what they meant or the special camaraderie that the others laughed at but were secretly jealous that we had this amazing bond, 'like bothers' they said so many times.

It still makes us smile to this day as no one ever knew, no one at all. We became amazingly skilled in so many many ways at hiding our love for each other but we never referred to it as hiding as such, as we had nothing to hide and of course we didn't, so we just said between ourselves that it was our private relationship, not the one we shared with the others for the long days and months that we spent together away from home.

The routine of our daily lives actually enabled us and helped us cope with our private life, the ever so demanding work and the structured environment meant that free time was few and far between and so pining for a cuddle or something more was just the same for all the lads, our benefit was we could have a little private interaction or a look even, when the other guys had just a picture to look at. It was one of the most wonderful experiences as much as it was difficult, that's the thing about life isn't it, it's the paradoxes that makes us who we are.

It's easier now, in today's world, the new world and rightly so of course. We like to think that we played a part in that especially as we tell our story and share our experiences to young recruits, all keen in their crisp white uniforms ready to spend endless days and months at sea, desperate for their sweethearts to meet them on dry land when they have their leave, their proud faces as they stand tall, walking towards their family or loved ones, proud, holding back the true emotions of missing their loved ones and yet knowing for the next weeks or so they too will miss the life with their other family on board.

How lucky we were to share that together, to experience that together and for maintaining our private relationship private. We walked down off that ship so many times together, we'd separate only to meet up later, still in private of course but still so very proud of who we both were, sailors, men and in love and remain so to this day.

That white crisp uniform is the cliché that wasn't a cliché at all.