#sai5

She was only trying to help. She only wanted to be needed.

At twenty-four years old, she became that hungry, broken, lost little girl once more.

Did the others think about her the same way? Was the Young Master only using her for what she was, for what she feared? Did Diamante only care about her devil fruit? Or Buffalo about her money—the money she didn’t have, yet always lent him?

What did she do wrong?

“You stay close to me.”

Baby 5 jumped at the sudden words. It took her a second to remember where she was right now, and who she was with; she blinked, looking around as if seeing the ruins of Dressrosa for the first time. How long had she been out of it? The procession of her captured… family was almost gone now, the sounds of people’s cheers much quieter, the dust settled.

But, her new—new—her new fiancé was still sitting next to her.

Suppressing a squeal at the memory of Sai’s… proposal, Baby 5 quickly shuffled closer to his side, hugging his arm tightly. 

“Yes, darling!” she said enthusiastically, a giggle on her lips.

Immediately, Sai jerked in surprise, pulling away slightly as he turned to look at her with wide eyes. “Stop clinging to me, woman!”

Baby 5 beamed up at him, watching as Sai’s expression turned from shock to resignation to neutral as his body slowly relaxed once again—not shaking her off, instead letting her scoot even closer. 

A feeling of happiness spread through Baby 5's chest as she rested her head on Sai’s shoulder; it was strong enough that she almost forgot about the ball of darkness still swirling underneath, eating at her.

Silence settled over them for a moment, the exhaustion from everything that had happened over the course of this whole day weighing on the both of them. Yet, it seemed like something heavy was hanging in the air; making Baby 5 wonder whether she was annoying him after all. Should she let go? Or wait? Would he tell her if he wanted her to leave? What could she do for him so that he would let her stay?

“You’re trembling again,” Sai said quietly, making Baby 5 jerk; she didn’t even realise. “Stop overthinking. You don’t have to bottle up everything inside. I’d rather you tell me straight if something’s bothering you.”

Baby 5 blinked, her mouth falling open without her consent. She had never considered voicing her worries. Was that… really okay?

They stared at each other for a moment, Sai searching her eyes for something. For what, she didn’t know. She had never had someone look at her this way; she had no idea how to interpret it. Yet, she nodded all the same.

“Good,” Sai huffed with a nod of his own, before he turned his gaze away.

Inadvertently, Baby 5’s hold on Sai’s arm tightened—and still, Sai let her.

They sat in silence for a long time, watching the impromptu festivities that took over the destroyed country of Dressrosa together. Baby 5 couldn’t remember the last time her mind was so calm.

—————

“Darling! I’ve got your breakfast!” Baby 5 called as she skipped through the large hall in the Dressrosa Royal Castle that the allied forces had been using as accommodations.

“Ah, umm… Thanks,” her fiancé muttered, embarrassment clear in his voice.

The smile on Baby 5’s face widened as she sat down on the floor next to him, presenting him with a large plate of scrambled eggs, a sausage, a stack of pancakes, cut vegetables, several slices of fresh bread, one cup of juice, water, and a steaming tea each. After all, she wasn’t yet sure what Sai preferred to drink with his breakfast!

Sai stared at it all for a moment, blinking once, twice, before looking up at the plate Bartolomeo was holding—one decidedly more modest, a single slice of bread with some ham and cheese. The simple meal that the castle provided the warriors with.

“Why exactly am I having something completely different and why is there so damn much more than everyone else has? Aside from Cabbage?” he asked finally, glancing at Baby 5 suspiciously.

“I cooked for you, of course!” Baby 5 declared proudly.

Closing his eyes, Sai took a deep breath—though not before shooting a glare at Bartolomeo who had nearly choked on his bread while trying to suppress a laugh.

Baby 5 wasn’t sure what he found so funny 

“Baby 5, you… Why—” He paused, rubbing his face in something akin to frustration and Baby 5 felt her stomach sink.

“Do you hate it? Do you not like eggs? Or pancakes? Did you want coffee instead?”

“No, it’s just—” He stopped suddenly, shaking his head. “It looks great. Thanks.”

“What a cute couple,” Ideo muttered as he hid a smirk behind a mug.

Nodding solemnly, Bartolomeo agreed, “Right? Should just get married already.”

“Fuck off!” Sai snapped, his face burning red as he threw a teaspoon at the Cannibal.

—————

Over the course of the next few days, Baby 5 learned many things.

For example, she now knew that her husband-to-be didn’t like the taste of crab, he took his coffee black, and he preferred green tea to black tea. Every morning, he would go on a long run, then spar with his brother. He didn’t drink enough water during his training, so Baby 5 quickly took it upon herself to deliver jugs of water with glasses, reminding her fiancé to hydrate properly.

She found out that Sai was about four years older than her, seemingly didn’t care for his previous fiancée, and on top of being the leader of the Happosui, he was also sworn to the crown of the Kano Country. Or used to be. Baby 5 wasn’t sure what was going to happen with that after swearing fealty to Straw Hat.

As she stood on the deck of the huge Yonta Maria, watching proudly as Sai and the other six men drank their ‘Son’s cups’—much to Straw Hat’s chagrin—, Baby 5 was surprised by the easy, happy smile that pulled on her lips.

And, past that, she was surprised she didn’t feel guilty for it. For smiling. For feeling happy.

She had lost the only family she had ever known mere days ago, yet here she was. Surrounded by warmth and laughter and joy, letting the ever-present feeling of victory creep up to her heart. She was supposed to be on the losing side. She shouldn’t be celebrating.

And yet, she didn’t feel sad.

She didn’t feel guilty or wrong or out of place.

In only a few days, she had started to realise that maybe, the Family hadn’t been the best place for her.

In only a few days, she had felt more respect and care than she had ever had before.

The people who were supposed to be her enemies had shown her things she had never felt, never experienced in her life. They’d already given her so much; she needed to make herself as useful as possible! More useful than she was to the Young Master and the others!

Nodding to herself, Baby 5’s smile widened, new-found resolve coursing through her veins.

“I really don’t like that smile you’re giving me,” Sai muttered as he approached her.

Baby 5 giggled, before pausing as she noticed the empty sake cup in her fiancé's hand. “Oh! Darling, let me get you a new cup! I’ll be right back!”

Before she could so much as turn around, however, a hand on her shoulder stopped her.

“Calm down, young lady. I’ve got you covered,” Boo said with some undeniable amusement—amusement that Baby 5 didn’t understand—, as he showed her the large bottle of sake that he was holding.

Baby 5 gasped as Boo poured everyone a cup, including her. She was confused; wasn’t she supposed to be the one doing this? She needed to be of help, she needed to be useful—

“You okay? You need to breathe, Five.” Sai’s voice was full of concern as one of his hands came up to touch her elbow gently. “You look like you’re about to pass out…”

“I’m fine!” Baby 5 replied immediately, and maybe a bit too loudly. “Don’t worry about me, darling! I’ll—I’ll just bring you all some food or—”

“Oi oi oi…”

“Hiyahoho! Cheers!” Chinjao called, interrupting whatever it was that Sai was trying to say to her by raising his cup in between them, waiting for them all to raise their own cups.

A brief thought flashed through Baby 5’s mind then—a question of whether he was trying to distract them, to distract her from letting her mind run away from her. It was something that Boo had mentioned to her last night. That his grandfather may seem scary but he cared deeply about his grandchildren, and he had a knack for knowing when they needed something to focus on other than their thoughts.

Ah…

What a foolish thought. It wasn’t like she was Chinjao’s grandchild, or someone whom he would wish to help. She was just someone who had forced her way into the Happosui’s life. She was his enemy mere days ago, after all.

“Five, seriously…”

“Huh?” Baby 5 blinked a few times, until her eyes finally focused on Sai’s complicated expression.

Before she could so much as ask what she could do for him, Sai’s hand closed around her wrist, and he announced they were going to grab some food. For a split second, Baby 5 saw the knowing look that Chinjao and Boo exchanged, but she didn’t have the time to decipher it before Sai pulled her away. She struggled against his hold a little, but her weak protests—she could go grab anything Sai wanted, he didn’t need to go anywhere himself, she could do it for him! Just tell her what he was in the mood for!—went largely ignored. 

“Darling, I can—you don’t have to—I mean—”

Suddenly, Sai stopped walking.

Barely avoiding crashing into him, Baby 5 blinked, looking around herself. They were nowhere near the food and really, nowhere near anything. It looked like Sai had taken her to a secluded corner of the Yonta Maria, away from all the crowds and cheer and noise. Mind full of confusion, Baby 5 looked up at Sai questioningly, but he refused to meet her eyes. In fact, he was looking anywhere but her, the smallest blush finding its way to his cheeks. He looked so embarrassed, so adorable, that Baby 5 couldn’t hold back her squeal.

“Wh—What are you screaming for?!”

A giggle on her lips, Baby 5 simply shook her head, making Sai look at her even more awkwardly until a deep sigh escaped him.

“Whatever. Five, we need to talk.”

And just like that, all happiness and joy drained from her body.

Was this when he would tell her to leave? That she was useless?

Closing her eyes, the lost little girl willed herself not to cry.

“Five, you need to relax. You don’t have to do anything for anyone anymore. You’re perfectly fine just being.”

Baby 5’s eyes snapped open. She stared up at Sai like she was seeing him for the first time, full of confusion and wonder. 

“I—I mean—” Sai cleared his throat, trying again. “I told you before, you’ve been getting it all wrong. You don’t have to be ‘useful’ to anyone, ever, to be worth keeping around. Just be you. Got it?”

Sai’s eyes were still dancing around, avoiding even glancing at Baby 5. The blush on the man’s cheeks was now undeniable as it shone brighter than ever.

In response, Baby 5 felt heat rising to her own cheeks. She wasn’t sure why she was so embarrassed—especially since she wasn’t sure she even properly understood what Sai was saying. What did he mean, she didn’t have to be useful? What would be the point of keeping her around then? And past that…

What did ‘just being me’ mean?

Who was she? Was there even a ‘me’ for her?

Didn’t ‘she’ die in the desert all those years ago, life escaping her small body as her mother walked away, leaving just the shell of a lost little girl behind?

Baby 5 startled as Sai heaved a deep sigh before he finally looked at her. “You don’t have to be so scared anymore. We don’t expect anything from you.” He paused for a second before shaking his head a little bit, then finally raising one hand to brush Baby 5’s hair behind her ear. “You’re with us because we want you to be safe and happy. Not because we want anything from you. Okay?”

Biting on her bottom lip, Baby 5 willed the tears that welled in her eyes to stay where they were. She wasn’t even sure why she felt like crying all of a sudden; it wasn’t crippling fear or sadness, more like… relief?

She didn’t understand.

And yet…

She didn’t hate the feeling.

Of all the reasons to cry, she might like this one the most.

As a small laugh passed through her lips, Baby 5 nodded a few times. “Okay! I got it, darling.”

“Do you?” Sai asked doubtfully, but otherwise didn’t argue. “As long as you understand you’re not anyone’s maid anymore… Though we might want to start with getting you clothes that don’t make you look the part.”

“Huh?! You want to go clothes shopping with me?!” Baby 5 squealed, her heart skipping a beat or five in excitement.

“That’s not what I said! Stop jumping to conclusions, woman!”

With a carefree laugh on her lips, Baby 5 skipped over to Sai’s side, hugging his arm tightly. She ignored Sai’s mumble of ‘You didn’t hear a word I said just now, did you?’, simply taking a moment to soak up the happiness she felt in that moment.

“Please, let me know if there’s anything you need, darling!!” she called, smiling brightly up at her fiancé.

Sai stared at her blankly for a few seconds, a small frown on his face as an inner battle of some kind raged in his mind, before he shook his head and sighed in defeat. “You can keep cooking once in a while. The food you make is delicious…”

“Okay!!”

Closing his eyes for a moment, Sai grumbled to himself something along the lines of ‘One day. One day, she’ll get it. For sure.’ 

Baby 5 wasn’t sure what he meant but in that moment, she didn’t care much. What she did care about was the feeling of freedom and happiness that suddenly hit her, letting her breathe that much easier; almost as if some weight had let up, or something that had been squeezing her entire being released its grasp the smallest bit. 

The feeling didn’t leave her even once they rejoined the party. It stayed with her as they kept clinking their cups with everyone they passed by, as they chatted with people while eating, as she leaned into Sai’s side, as he wrapped his arm around her waist.

It stayed even once they ran into Law, the man staring at her blankly for a good minute before asking what the hell she was doing there.

“What the hell are you doing here?! Shouldn’t you be dead right now after challenging the Young Master?”

It only took a split second for Law’s vicious glare to get to her.

And yet, even as she curled into Sai’s side, hiding from Law’s wrath…

She never felt lighter or happier in her whole life.

This girl’s mind was so confusing and her reactions so random at times that it left him with his head spinning. But… he was starting to get used to it. At first, he would jump out of his skin whenever Baby 5 would call him darling or start fixing his clothes, massage his shoulders, bring him water during training with Boo—or worse, get him breakfast in bed and try to hand feed him as if he were a toddler.

These days, however, he mostly accepted these things as a part of her. A part that needed to be worked on and toned down to be sure, but one that had become… almost endearing. He would rather sit through one of Cavendish’s three-hour rants about how amazing and beautiful and popular he was than admit it though.

But, Baby 5’s overzealous attempt to help and please him were the least of Sai’s concerns right now.

Throwing one last warning look at the vendor, he took a step forward. “Let’s go, Five.”

“Okay, darling!” Baby 5 sang happily as she followed him, her small hands never once loosening their hold on Sai’s forearm.

Sai didn’t mind.

They walked in silence for a while, simply taking in the sights of the festival—all the while Sai made sure to glare at every sales person who only slightly looked like they were about to swoop in. 

Finally, Sai heaved a deep sigh.

“Five, you need to learn that it’s okay to say no when you don’t want something,” he said with annoyance tinting his words, glancing at his wife.

She didn’t look back at him; rather, it looked like she was actively avoiding his gaze. If it wasn’t for the way her hands squeezed around his arm momentarily, and the way her already small frame seemingly shrunk even more, he would almost think she didn’t hear him.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled after a long while, her voice so low it was barely audible.

And immediately, rage started bubbling in Sai’s veins again.

He clenched his fist, the one that Baby 5 wasn’t basically clutching at, willing himself to stay calm. “I’m not angry.” He paused, before quickly rectifying his statement. ”Not at you.”

That seemed to make Baby 5 snap out of whatever mental state she had thrown herself into. She froze for a second, then her big eyes finally turned up to blink at him. “What?”

“I’m not angry at you,” Sai stressed, his brow furrowing. “I’m pissed at everyone else taking advantage of you! It’s like you don’t even know what you want past all the shit everyone else keeps pushing at you!”

“I—I don’t—” Baby 5 stuttered, but then went silent, her cheeks flushing as her eyes shifted to the side again. Looking so guilty.

The sight sent a new wave of anger through Sai. Just how deeply ingrained could one person’s trauma be? How bad would it have been had her so-called ‘family’ not encouraged her bad habits?

It wasn’t fucking fair to her.

Taking a deep breath to force himself to calm down, Sai stopped walking, forcing Baby 5 to pause as well. He ignored the annoyed comments and complaints from the passersby, not even sparing them an apology for blocking the path. He simply looked at his wife for a moment, taking in her small, confused frown, the pink dusting on her cheeks and nose from the chilly air, the way her breath hitched.

Slowly, Sai raised his free hand to touch her cheek. Absent-mindedly, he noted how cold her skin felt.

“Five, just say what you want. No one’s going to toss you away just for saying ‘no’ or ‘I want crab for dinner’. Not here. And if they try, I’ll kick their asses!”

Baby 5’s eyes went wide. And seeing her surprise, the implications of what he had just said hit Sai like a warship.

Retracting his hand as if Baby 5’s skin had burned him, Sai jumped away from her, so abruptly and forcefully that his arm slipped from Baby 5’s grasp. Immediately, both his hands flew up, and he started waving them in front of himself as if he could shove the awkwardness away. 

This time, it was his turn to stumble over his own words. “I just—I mean—”

He froze completely when a new sound reached his ears. It took him a few seconds to realise what it was… and when he did, he could only stare in wonder as Baby 5 laughed. Not a giggle, a huff, or a cute little chuckle that sounded almost painfully fake; rather, it was a genuine, happy laughter, so carefree that it startled Sai. He wasn’t sure if he had ever heard her laugh so easily, so openly.

The sight made his heart jump in his chest, something stirring in his stomach. Surprisingly… he didn’t hate the feeling.

Before he could stop himself, Sai took a step forward; one of his hands shot forward, grabbing at Baby 5’s wrist to pull her towards himself. The girl stumbled forward, falling right into Sai’s arms with a surprised yelp, and immediately, Sai’s other hand wrapped around his wife’s waist, holding her close.

“Da—Darling?! What’s going—”

“I don’t know,” Sai said, his voice tight, his eyes closed as heat rushed to his face. Why the hell did he do that? He just hugged her without thinking after seeing her laugh…

But, when Baby 5’s fingers curled into his coat, clutching at the fabric like her life depended on it, her entire body relaxing into him as her face dropped to bury in his chest, Sai’s regret and confusion evaporated. Instead, a strange feeling of rightness bloomed in his chest, making a smile pull on his lips, and his grip on her waist tightened momentarily.

What was this woman doing to him? Just a few months ago, he was engaged to Ooklicia and couldn’t care less about it—or about Ooklicia and her husband harem, for that matter—but now, he couldn’t imagine being married to anyone else. Couldn’t imagine going to sleep every day without Five by his side.

Stepping away a little, just enough for Five to look up at him questioningly, Sai let go of her wrist and waist; instead, slowly, carefully… he cupped her face. He waited a moment, watching his wife’s eyes go wide, before her expression melted, her cheeks turning pink—not from the chill in the air, but from something deeper and warmer. Her eyes fluttered shut then and, as if on cue, Sai’s heart started beating a pace faster. He was now acutely aware of the way her soft skin felt under his touch, her nose a little red from the cold, her breath visible in the freezing air. 

Sai’s ears burned for reasons beyond his comprehension. Why was he so nervous? They were married, for fuck’s sake!

Sai took a deep breath—and a second later, their lips finally connected.

It wasn’t a long kiss; it wasn’t sensual or lustful or erotic in any way… and yet, it made Sai feel hot still.

When they pulled away from each other, Sai couldn’t look at Five’s expression. He knew he would only find a happy smile there, but he simply couldn’t bring himself to face it—or more accurately, couldn’t bring himself to face the feelings that would stir inside him at the sight. His face was already burning, he didn’t need to make it any worse. 

Turning away quickly, Sai started walking again. He didn’t protest the way Five rushed over to his side to hug his arm close once more as she matched his pace. 

“Anyway—” Sai cleared his throat awkwardly ”—what do you want to do now?”

It took Five a few seconds to say anything, and Sai wasn’t surprised; it would probably be a long road before she could express herself freely. He waited patiently while she chewed on her bottom lip before finally… she replied.

“I… want one of the plushies we saw at the shooting game earlier.”

“Alright! Let’s go!” Sai proclaimed loudly, before he turned them around and started walking with purpose.

“We don’t have to go right now!” Five cried, surprised by Sai’s resolve.

Sai huffed. “If we don’t go now, there won’t be any left!”

“But—” Five stopped speaking suddenly, and when Sai glanced at her, she was wearing an expression so flustered and happy that in that moment…

Sai decided.

He would win that plush if it killed him.

—————

By the time they got home that night, Five was hugging a large, fluffy stuffed cat to her chest.

Next to her, Sai could barely see over the mountain of different plushies—the prizes he’d gotten after beating every single game at the festival. He may have gone a little overboard but seeing that beaming, beautiful smile every time he won…