#saddddddd

They fall apart the same way they fell together - slowly, and then all at once. The weight of Morgana and Lancelot’s absence seems to sit heavier on her shoulders with every passing day and she finds herself wandering the castle, wishing for a laugh that she’ll never hear again. Arthur spends his time staring at Merlin as if he wants to crawl under his skin and she pretends to not see. Pretends to not see the way Merlin stares back, just the same, the guilt of what he wants lodged in the crook of his smile. Or perhaps the guilt is over other things he still has yet to say, she couldn’t tell you, not anymore. Has long since forgotten what it felt like to know Merlin’s secrets. 

They fall apart one piece at a time, and then Arthur comes back from Camlann, bright eyes and a hand wrapped around Merlin’s wrist. Arthur comes back and she greets him with shaking hands and nothing but relief in her heart. Presses his ring back into his hand and says, “We need to talk.”

He smiles grimly but nods, handing Merlin off to Gwaine, presumably so that he won’t run, and follows her to their rooms. To the place they once held sacred but now only frequent when they’re both scared and lonely. Something that had happened more and more the past couple years. 

“I’m sorry,” he says as soon as the door closes.

“There’s no need to be sorry,” she says, folding her hands in front of her and trying to breathe around the grief she can’t allow herself to feel yet. “This has been coming for some time, we both knew it.”