#sad easter

my 16 y/o dog just died last night and i'm... she was so omnipresent in my life, i'm sure i'll cry again when i call for her out of habit and see that our court is now empty. i love u cynthia, i'll always do.

I spent years trying to get away from you people. Holidays sounded like torture and the thought of going anywhere with the entire family annoyed the hell out of me. I was an idiot, or I am now. What I wouldn't give to be there. To get annoyed by grandmas complaints about my lack of a boyfriend or the fact that I wear to many masculine pieces of clothing. Listening to her completely ignore my gayness. To wait for a charred burger off the same old girl uncle Jr's had for 12 years and laugh when mom says we're all assholes because she can't eat jot dogs and we can. Feeling the sun as everyone argues and tries to pretended that they're having a horrible time. For years all I wanted was to be away from you and now all I want is to see your fucking faces. And I can't. I cannot believe that I miss you all this much, but I do. And all I can do is smile at my roommates and reply Happy Easter as they head out of the loft. New York is a dream, but you guys were my reality.

this was the first easter i had without my mom or dad (moms in qld, dads in tassy, i'm in wa) so i was rly sad bc nobody was here 2 give me chocolate :(((

I have to work then come home amd spend easter alone