#s8ep8

there’s a lamp falling and there’s a loud crashing and there’s glass shards everywhere but the house is still intact, nobody is going away quite yet. the kitchen is still full of all the ingredients they just bought last week and the frog sponge holder is very much on its spot as it has the past six years.

there’s a load of laundry waiting to be washed and there’s a load in the dryer just now wanting to be folded and there’s two cars in the driveway and the couch is warm because it’s been worn and sat on and loved.

nobody is leaving quite yet but everybody leaves eventually.

maybe, maybe buck thought, maybe just not eddie. not this way. not this soon. any time he leaves is too soon. he hasn’t been with him for half his life yet, for the rest. it is too soon.

but there are listings and bare walls and numbers to call and links to click and new verandas and a backyard that’s too big and too small at the same time and a room that just might entice chris to go back to his dad.

oh.

buck never thought he’d lose eddie quite like this.

knowing he’s just states away living a life buck will never know about. not quite like he has now. even if he has a key to their new life, he would never be able to walk through as easily as he did just now.

the lamp nudged a frame down the floor and now there are more shards of glass and there is more noise but the couch dips and it’s warm and eddie is still here.

he doesn’t want him to leave. he doesn’t want to have another ghost. he doesn’t want to roam these empty walls that they’ve patched together and be the ghost.

he doesn’t want to lose him. he doesn’t want him to lose chris. he doesn’t want to lose chris.

they can all be true and yet every outcome is out to hurt buck.

there’s one timeline where this ends up okay.

isn’t there?

there should be.

because oh

Oh.

this is going to destroy him, won’t it?

there are patches on the wall and there are patches in his heart and he loves christopher and he loves eddie and he deserves his son and maybe in another life he’ll deserve that, too.

everybody leaves.

cristina bursts into tears as soon as she realizes teddy’s husband has just died on her table. because she cares.