a quick, will be updated headcanon: stefan thinking damon was dead.
as much as i hate damon & don’t agree with most of his actions, unfortunately stefan loves him more than anyone. damon has always been a big part of his life & his story, whether he hated him or not.
it’s impossible for me to just cut that out or erase their complicated relationship. i just don’t think stefan would be himself without knowing his brother was there.
stefan as we know is an empath ( physically as well as emotionally ) & always believed there was good in his brother & when he felt like he was finally getting somewhere with him, he learns that he’s died. ( although, we know he was actually in the prison world with bonnie & kai )
when stefan thought damon was dead season six, that might’ve been when he felt the most pain in so long. like, it hurt him so much & he was in so much pain that he literally moved to georgia & started a new life. he chose to give up on the search to get damon & bonnie back & ran instead. dealing with his grief is something he wished to avoid & push down as much as he could, which is totally the opposite of what he’d advice anyone else to do. but he’s dealt with so much loss in his life ( some he’s caused ) that he didn’t care. so, he ran. & for four months, he lived in georgia.
pushing that grief away was what he thought was best for him. & the only way he could think of doing so was leaving his home. mystic falls was a reminder that damon was no longer with him, the boarding house ? no way in hell he could or would stay there.
& he had to go without saying goodbye, he knew if he said goodbye to elena or caroline he wouldn’t be strong enough to leave, so he went without a word. avoiding phone calls was another thing he did, hearing their voices would make him miss them & it would lead him down the path to missing damon & the grief would hit him.
stefan debated on where to go for a while, he wanted a smaller town where he could get by without drawing attention to himself but not too small where people would get suspicious of him. eventually, he chose savannah, georgia. he chose it because it was close enough to mystic falls that if he was needed he could get there in a few hours but it was far away enough that he couldn’t rush back when he was starting to miss home again.
the only reason he comes back is after caroline & enzo show up unannounced & enzo kills his girlfriend in cold blood. ( turns her ) he firmly believes he would’t have went back if he didn’t want to go after enzo for revenge.
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but she feels like she is. this isn’t the bunker anymore; she can’t use the horror they face each day as an excuse to fall into valerie’s arms. she can’t rely on that as easily anymore, because if she tries, they might actually have to face their problems now ---- and she’s not sure she’s ready for that. it’s not just val, it’s her father. it’s something greta has never been good at: facing her problems head on and looking for a way to actually fix them. instead, she finds another strategy / she works AROUND them, helping no one. ❝ i don’t know, ❞ she mumbles, eyes refusing to meet hers. ❝ feels like it. ❞ with a small breath, head tilts up to look at her, and she shrugs her shoulders. ❝ things aren’t the same here as they were down there. ❞ down there, in the bunker. ❝ can’t be. so ----- maybe i should be. ❞
HE UNDERSTANDS THE SITUATION. He was a loose cannon, it’s bad when even Jasper accepts it, blood boiling, tension CRAWLING in his skin. He’s been sober for too long and his mind didn’t let back it’s complaints to the absence of moonshine. “ You need a gunner. “ trying anything at this point to get outside and on the first team to the new planet. “ You know I have good aim, what’s the big deal? “ trying to control his breathing. He can’t stand being locked up in the ship, walls like MT. Weather, closing in around him, SUFFOCATING him, he can still hear Maya’s cries.
it’s not gonna last . . . it never does with the bad boys ( except he doesn’t remotely fall into that . . . even if he didn’t believe it himself ). wasn’t by the book, refused to fit into any mold . . . but his heart was good, & there was a trust in him that didn’t waver despite the hot headed tendencies. lost track of the arguments the two had . . . like oil & water, they didn’t mix & yet . . . comfort was found in him ( beyond the idea of one night, kept coming back to him like a moth prepared to burn in the flames ). that’s the part that terrified her, the idea of relying on someone, of caring about him the way she did, of letting someone in & finding nothing but disappointment ( mixing romance with work . . . it didn’t ended well, their pasts alone were prime examples ). metal rattles with the slam of her locker . . . he never did know when to let something go. ❛ we’re not doing this here. ❜ or anywhere if she had a say in the matter, the moment they started having these conversations was the second this would all fall apart. ❛ lets just go home, alright ? ❜
&. @59054 prompted: “ why can’t you let me in ? what are you so afraid of ? ”
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isn’t greta supposed to be lucky? most people her age, their parents aren’t here ---- either having been floated on the ark, lost in the journey to earth, or left outside the bunker’s doors before praimfaya. her father is still here, still healthy, still present, still valuable --- she has a family while most people don’t, and she finds it so difficult to be grateful. it’s something she wants to work out, yet she’s too stubborn to ever follow through. ❝ yeah. parents suck. but ---- ❞ she sighs, finger running through her hair as she looks up at her. ❝ i know i shouldn’t be so harsh to him. it’s ---- it’s stupid now. ❞ right? her resentment towards him feels invalid given everything everyone’s been through; she feels like she’s not allowed to feel what she feels.
HE WAS GETTING HIS ASS KICKED. But he needed this, a distraction while the ship neared the slowly nearing planet. His FRAGILE mind tried to hold her words of advice close, but the punches and kicks to his abdomen knocked them loose. “ You don’t play around. “ wiping the traces of blood from his mouth, sputtering a bit as he tried to get the words out. “ How did you get so good? “
THE AIR WAS STIFLING. He could already tell it was being recycled and reused, the process wasn’t new to him, grade 3 chemistry. He HATED it inside, a part of him wished he wouldn’t have been woken up, left to rot in his cryo pod for good. Monty was gone, Harper was gone, what else to live for? Jasper found himself on the ship because of them, now that hope has been EXTINQUISHED. “ Fuck off dude, tell Bellamy I’m not doing it. “ trying not to make eye contact, maybe it’ll go easier for him. A part of him ITCHED to get out of the ship, but Monty’s memory ties him here, if he steps out, Jasper is SCARED to know what would happen.
