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itās been a while since Iāve actually typed my thoughts up, but after going through S1M12 today i had to update on my progress! iām still walking rather than running, but iām already feeling more stamina and loving listening to missions on my way. the goal is to work on my jogging/running stamina on the treadmill this fall/winter once the weather gets worse (canadian runner five here from a notoriously snowy area, so most times from november-march indoor exercise is the way to go).
honestly, this app is already life changing. i can really feel that it will be a huge help when i start running rather than a determined walk. iām very much a beginner, so iām starting slow, but iām already itching to speed up.
a few small spoilery updates from todayās mission (S1M12) and thoughts on the last few that i didnāt do full updates on under the cut:
S1M12 was probably my favourite mission thus far. the emotions of the clip between paula and maxine were SO incredible AND having even more lgbt+ characters is incredible.
plus after paula says she wishes maxine were there and maxine starts crying, my playlist switched back in with the lineĀ āas the world comes to an end, iāll be there to hold your handā from king and lionheart which was like FEELS CITYĀ
in S1M9 when Eight and I went back to the plane crash site, oh man. when she saysĀ āImagine what I would have had to do out there if Iād found someone elseās ID in that chopper?ā i felt my heart drop. like i hope i donāt accidentally mess up around her because i think sheād straight up leave me for dead out there.
I adored S1M7 (Voice in the Dark) and i knew itād be emotional but this was SO emotional!! when sam was trying to talk to me it was all i could do not to be likeĀ āDAMN IT, SAM, IāM STILL HERE. STOP SAYING IāM DEADā
i really wish iād run that one at night, though. i ran it midday as kids were getting out of school, so the immersion was non-existent. probably why i personally found M12 more emotional.
SAM YAO: Yeah, yup, it's fine. I'll tell them... well, how long do you think you'll need?
MAXINE MYERS: Just a normal run should be fine.
SAM YAO: I'll tell them it's a meds run. I know you guys are okay for supplies for the moment, but I'll say you're running low on, um... cotton balls? Strepsils? Condoms?
MAXINE MYERS: Tell them we're running low on penicilin alternates for people with allergies. It's true, anyway.
SAM YAO: Okay. So, then... my corrugated iron shack is yours for as long as it takes. And, uh... call if you need me!
MAXINE MYERS: I'll be fine.
SAM YAO: If I could find a way to let you use the equipment completely alone -
MAXINE MYERS: I know! But it's okay. Runner Five could have died retrieving that box. If anyone deserves to know what's in it, you do, Runner Five! In amongst some research notes and samples, Paula left me an audio recording, and um, I'm gonna play it now, for both of us. So... Runner Five, ready? Raise the gates! [gate siren] Covering fire! [gunshots] And... run!
MAXINE MYERS: She made a CD. A CD! Like it was 1998. [laughs] I guess she thought I'd be more likely to find something to play it on... or that rain wouldn't damage it, like if she'd left me an iPod? Or maybe she wanted her iPod. Anyway, only one place to play a CD in this township, and that's right here. Okay, I can do it, I can do this. [inserts CD into player] Here we go.
PAULA COHEN: Hello, sweetheart.
MAXINE MYERS: Oh.
PAULA COHEN: If you are my sweetheart, that is. I suppose anyone could be listening to this, but I'm choosing to put that thought out of my mind. This is for my Maxie. Because the phones have stopped working, and I need to believe you're still alive, and that you'll hear this, one day.
I love you. And I had to tell you, darling, best one. I want to imagine that I'm telling you what I saw, because when I imagine that I'm talking to you, I can feel your arms around my shoulders, and that makes it easier. I know you wouldn't judge me, or panic. And you... you've always been able to calm me down when I felt afraid. I'm so afraid, Maxie... I'm just so scared! I think... Oh, Maxie, I think I know who patient zero was!
PAULA COHEN: I'm just going to try and tell you exactly how it was, okay? [puts on an accent] Just the facts, ma'am! [returns to regular speech] We were working on something, and... well, I don't even know how to begin to explain it. If you're Maxie listening to this, you'll know what it was already. And if not, well, you're looking for the research notes on VS-72 in the secure facility on Tessandori Street, and... well, I don't know how you'd even get in there, and there are only about 15 people in the world who can understand those notes anyway, but, well, if uh, Professor Van Ark is still alive, you can try taking it to him. Or there's Hubner, who I think is in Milan... [laughs] Can't say I'm holding out hope. If you find it all, Maxie, you've probably got a better chance than most of working out what went wrong.
We were working on VS-72, which we thought - I know it sounds crazy, but you know I'm not - we thought we might help people. Really change the world, really make things better! It was supposed to... it was about cell regeneration. Like, making people heal more quickly, that was the aim. We'd been working toward it for more than ten years, and the first trials in rats were amazing. Beyond what we'd hoped. We saw some total limb regeneration! In adult rats! It was... well, we thought we'd win the Nobel Prize!
[rattling at the fence] We think they're going to get in soon, the... people! The walking dead! We used to have soldiers here guarding us, but they've been picked off one by one. God, I miss you so much right now. I want to be able to talk to you because I think, together, we'd work out what to do, and... I miss snuggling up next to you! Holding you! I miss your arms around me, Maxine! I miss the way you smell! [sniffles] I'm starting to think I'll never see you again! [cries] [recording cuts off]
MAXINE MYERS: I'm sorry, I... I need to take a break.
PAULA COHEN: [sobbing] We never meant any of this, Maxine, you know we didn't. [sniffles] It was our first human trial of our "wonder drug". Just two weeks ago. It seemed like we were going to save the world! We injected 50 people with their first shot, no problems. Sent them all home. And then one man, Patient 29 - his wife called. He'd started to run a fever. She brought him in, we took a look. Seemed like nothing serious. We sent him home. God. We sent him home. She called again the next morning. Overnight, he'd... the fever spiked. She took him to hospital. He collapsed, and they thought he had died. And then he woke up and bit someone.
We were so sure it had nothing to do with us. I mean, biting. Had to be rabies, maybe, or mental health issues. We were so sure. Until it was too late, we were so sure it had nothing to do with us. But Maxine, this happened to only one patient out of 50! There must have been something about him. There must have been something different. But you need to find them. Patient 29. I never knew his name, it wasn't allowed. Patient 29. Go and look for Professor Van Ark's files at Tessandori. Find out what was different about him. It's the only way we can start to find out what's happened.
[gunshots] [gasps] Oh! It's okay... It's okay, they haven't broken through yet. But we think they will. Oh, Maxine! I wish I was with you right now! I wish I could go on talking to you forever. But we're all taking a turn at recording a CD for someone in the hope that they'll find it, so I have to stop in a minute. I'll put this CD in a sample case with your name on it. [MAXINE MYERS cries in the background] We haven't got very far, but we've been trying to make a vaccine. There should be a way. If it were only VS-72, there could be a way to stop it. If you find it, maybe you'll succeed where we failed. We're going to fail. There isn't enough time.Ā
Maxine... this is all I really have to say: I love you, I love you, I love you! [whispers] I love you. [recording ends]
[MAXINE MYERS sobs]
SAM YAO: Knock knock! I, uh... sorry, it's not the start of a joke. Actually, you're probably pleased it's not the start of one of my jokes. Just, there are people waiting to use the - oh...
MAXINE MYERS: No, I'm fine, I'm fine! Just, give me a minute, I'll be fine...
SAM YAO: Just a second. [to people outside the room] No, you can't come in yet, there's been a - ugh, yeah, I've arsed up the equipment again, sorry! Yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry! Sorry. I'll sort it out. You'll have to come back in a little while though, okay?
MAXINE MYERS: No, no, it's okay, I can leave. It's okay, there's no reason to -
SAM YAO: They'll be back in a little while. You can take your time. Um... do you want me to leave you alone?
Sure Doc, that was totally a regular meds run. And yeah, to answer your question, I've had some time to grieve for the life, family, friends, etc. I lost, but I am still trying to look forward and do important things. Like trying to help figure out what exactly the Grey is.