#s09e24

   As you have nothing to do with the case and no abilities to help them, you stay away from their meeting in Morgan’s room. The wait seems endless to you. When Penelope joins you back as fast as she can with her heels, she just needs to give you a nod so that you follow her. Lucky for you, his room isn't far from his colleague's.

   When you both walk into Reid's hospital room, you notice a woman sitting on a chair next to his bed, not knowing who this person is.

   “Garcia, he is still sleeping. The surgery went well. Apparently, he was very lucky,” Alex explains in a tired voice, staying seated until she sees you. “Oh, hello.”

   “Y/N, Reid’s girlfriend. I couldn’t come without her. I hope hearing her will help him to wake up,” Penelope says quickly as she puts her bags on the floor and walks to Spencer.

   As for you, you stop at the doorstep as soon as you see him laying in the bed. It’s not the first time you visit him in the hospital, but it’s the first time he is unconscious, very pale, breathing slowly... Almost dead.

   “I’m sure he will wake up soon! He is our strong genius boy! We just have to wait and see his beautiful eyes open!” Garcia exclaims as she puts some Doctor Who figurines on his table.

   You don’t know if she says it for you, Alex or for her, but it makes you smile. Closing the door behind you, you eventually walk inside just next to Alex, holding out your hand to her.

   “I’m sorry. I’m just, hm, I. Y/N,” you finally only say, smiling when Alex shakes your hand in return.

   “Alex. One of his colleagues,” she says in a friendly tone. “Please, take my seat.”

   “Oh no no no. It looks like you need this chair more than me. Oh, um, without meaning to be rude,” you panic a little before sighing. “I'm just going to stand here…”

   Spencer looks so pale. The dark circles under his eyes have never been this dark. Even though you know the thing holding his neck is there to help him, it looks like it's choking him. At least, it’s clean. No trace of blood. Can you tuck a few strands of his hair back so it doesn't get in the way, like you usually do? No, you can’t, right? 

   How long would you stand there motionless, watching him, before Penelope calls you? Impossible to know, but you notice she has already taken out her computer and started working on it. She gently pushes you closer to Spencer, showing you his hand. Without a word, you take it. Its coldness makes you shed a few tears, but now's not the time to break down. You have to stay strong until he wakes up.

   “Talk to him,” Penelope says softly, her face wet with tears.

   And you do. Sometimes Penelope speaks too, or Alex. There are a lot of anecdotes you don’t know and you would like to know more. Penelope’s colleagues call her a lot. Alex a little less so, but she seems busy too.

   At some point, it becomes suffocating. Spencer not moving. The constant beeps from the monitors. How useless you are…

   “I-I will buy a coffee for me and a few snacks for Spencer. Do you need anything?” you eventually ask as you gently place his hand on the blanket.

   As soon as they answer, you leave the room. No need to hurry, but you can't help but feel guilty for not being with Spencer. 

   The moment you finish the tray with all you can buy, the fire alarm goes off. Confused, your body refuses to move for some long seconds. It's crazy how different what we want to do is from what we actually do when we're panicking. Despite everyone leaving, you walk the wrong way to Spencer’s room.

   Of course, it’s empty. Oh, you feel so stupid that you just let you fall down on the closest chair. At least, you’re glad they’re out.

.

   “Here you are!” you hear Penelope say before seeing her. 

   Penelope is pushing Spencer in a wheelchair. Seeing him awake makes you beam immediately. You’ve never been so happy to see him awake!

   While Penelope is closing the door, Spencer slowly stands up to go back to his bed. You quickly join him to help him, but he raises a hand.

   “I’m fine, thank you,” he says in a tired voice.

   “Let me help you with your IV at least,” you hurry to say as you help him without waiting for his answer. 

   “Oh, thanks,” he only replies, his behaviour towards you being strangely distant.

   Penelope explains to you quickly what happened as Spencer lays down as comfortably as he can in his situation. At the end, you turn to Spencer, your eyes betraying your anxiety despite your calm demeanor. According to the way you look at him, he understands he should be the first to speak but…

   “I’m sorry, I don’t want to be rude, but who are you? Are you a member of the medical staff?” Spencer eventually asks awkwardly, squinting several times, knowing the question has no sense since you’re not wearing any medical tools or outfit.

   “Don’t joke about it, Spencer,” you sigh, smiling anyway.

   By automatism, you take his hand. Well, you wanted to, but he pulled it away just before. You freeze, obviously.

   “Hm, sorry. It’s just, I don’t usually. Hm,” he tries to explain before Penelope cuts him off.

   “Reid. It’s Y/N. Your girlfriend. She came with me here to see you,” she only says, as surprised as you.

   “I have a girlfriend?” he quickly asks, as surprised as you both now, smiling like an idiot until he understands that means he has forgotten you. “Your name is Y/N?”

   He said your name so many times in so many ways, but like this, it feels like it’s the first time he says it. You’re still motionless, only fixing him, your brain having a hard time to process this situation. Spencer also looks at you, visibly searching in his mind anything he might remember about you. He seems lost, genuinely lost.

   “You have forgotten me,” you murmur, still fixing him.

   He doesn’t remember knowing you, but you seem to know him. He doesn't need more seconds to understand what you imply. Spencer never forgets. Well, that’s what he thought until now.

   “It’s impossible,” Peneloppe says for the three of you.

   Despite wanting to speak more, her phone suddenly rings. It’s Hotch, she can’t avoid it. She quickly answers, sitting in front of her laptop.

   While you’re feeling upset, sad, and disappointed, Spencer is analysing you from head to toe. He is still weak, so he is just looking at you while lying on his bed, his upper body propped up.

   His gaze has always been something that makes you feel shy. Your cheeks flush, and you end up looking away. 

   The tray you brought back is still on the table. You go get it and set it on the little table next to his bed, with Penelope's figurines. Spencer can’t help but notice when you separate the Doctors on the right of the tray and the Daleks on the left.

   “We have enough problems today without having a time war on top of that,” you murmur, more for you than the others.

   When you raise your eyes to Spencer, you notice he is quietly chuckling, his smile making you smile too. Then, you step back, knowing his personal space was important when you weren’t dating.

   Seeing the tray, Spencer notices all the snacks he likes are on it. He is about to take the coffee when you grab it first. “No, this one is for me,” you say before stepping back again.

   His smile disappears when he realises how friendly and comfortable you seem with him. Then, he loses himself in his thoughts, searching for a clue that might help him.

   When he is like this, you know it’s useless to speak to him, so you stand there, drinking your cold coffee. It’s useless to think of it, he will find a solution, right? It’s useless to cry, that's not going to help the situation, right? Everything is useless, right? You’re useless, right?!

   Then, Spencer calls you. Penelope is now next to him while you’re behind the end of his bed.

   “How-how did we meet?” he tries to ask despite his tiredness, Penelope’s eyes unable to hide her excitement.

   You are about to speak when a doctor enters. Penelope frowns, saying he has already taken his medication. Then, a dialogue of misunderstanding starts. As soon as you see Spencer panicking you run to the doctor as he prepares the syringe, trying to stop him. He suddenly pushes you with all his strength and you fall on the floor. You don’t have time to stand up when you hear “Penelope! He has a gun!”

   You’re not from the FBI. You’re not familiar with guns. When Penelope shoots the man and he falls, you stay petrified on the floor.

   “Who is she?!” a strong black man yells at you, pointing his gun to you.

   As soon as Morgan arrived, he ran into Spencer's room and saw you, a person he never saw. Since Penelope still in shock, Spencer speaks first.

   “Stop! It’s my girlfriend! Morgan, stop!” Spencer yells as he sits up suddenly, wincing of pain.

   “What?” Morgan only says, lowering his gun, his FBI behaviour softening.

   “She came with Penelope,” Spencer sighs. “Please, help her get back on her feet.”

   As Morgan helps you, you hear Spencer comforting Penelope. Morgan looks at you like you are the most unbelievable thing in the world. Then, he realises you’re also in a state of shock.

   “Everything is fine now,” he says, trying to be reassuring even though the fake doctor was still on the ground, surrounded by real doctors. “I’m sorry for pointing my gun at you. I'm Morgan, Reid's colleague.”

   “Oh, hm, I heard about you,” you eventually say in a quiet voice, making Morgan chuckle.

   Then, you hear Spencer call you in his usual way. Forgetting everything else, you turn to him. His smile is half-thrilled half-guilty, a weird mix that makes you smile. You slowly walk to him, Penelope making room for you and joining Morgan.

   As soon as you’re next to him, he takes your hand and kisses it. It didn't last long, but the thought that you'd been forgotten made you sad, and to tell the truth, you missed him.

   “Will you forgive me?” he asks, using his puppy eyes, kissing your hand again. “I think I know why it happened. All I was thinking when I was shot was you. Maybe I thought too much about you to the point that the memories of you have been locked in a part of my mind. It’s weird, but not impossible.”

   “Wow, you forgot your girlfriend?” Morgan can’t help but exclaim, truly shocked, before being shushed by Penelope.

   “I need sugar. Cake, candies, juice. Anything. Come with me?” Penelope says as she pulls Morgan's arm and leaves the room. 

   “Alright, alright. I have to join the others anyway,” Morgan chuckles and follows Penelope, stopping just a moment turning to Spencer and you. “Kid, take your time to rest. We’ll need you in great shape. And Y/N, I'm counting on your help for it.”

   You just smile back to him and nod since Penelope pulls him out of the room too soon to reply. When you come back to Spencer, you notice he still has your hand and look at you with puppy eyes. 

   “Will you stay with me?” he asks tiredly. 

   “Of course,” you answer immediately as you finally sit down. 

   For a moment, you just look at him without a word. He looks more tired and pale with the fake doctor's attempt to kill him. You almost lose him a second time.

   Spencer watches you, waiting for you to answer if you will forgive him, like a tired puppy after a very long walk. He tries to understand you despite your silence, using his profiler’s talents. But when your head lowers and your hand rubs your eyes, he realises you start crying.

   “I’m sorry,” you say before he speaks. “I’m so useless.”

   “No, you’re not! What are you talking about!?” he exclaims, squeezing your hand, since he doesn't have the strength to sit up.

   “If-if Penelope hadn't been here, you-you would be dead!” you answer, unable to hold your tears anymore. “I stupidly fell on the floor while he was trying to kill you! I didn’t know how to help you with your memory–”

   “Stop, calm down,” he cuts you off in a soft voice that quiets you. “You’re not working for the FBI, it’s normal for you not to know how to react. And yet, you tried to stop him anyway. He had a gun, love. You couldn’t do anything. I’m glad you’re here, safe, with me. I don’t need anything else. Come here.”

   He tugs gently on your hand to encourage you to sit on his bed. You immediately shake your head.

   “No, I’ll hurt you,” you sigh.

   “I can’t hug you like this, love. Just come closer please,” he begs, smiling softly.

   You can’t refuse anything to him, so you nod and you move the chair as close to the bed as possible. He dries the few tears staying in your eyes. 

    Now that things have calmed down, you help him eat what you brought back on the tray earlier. He needs to regain his strength after everything that's happened.

   After he silently eats the different jellos you bought, you remove the table to make room. Sitting back on the chair, you take his hand again.

   “Do you need anything else?” you ask, glad to see him looking a little better.

   “No, I’m fine,” he only answers, his eyes never leaving you. 

   “Hm, can I ask you something?” you dare to ask despise knowing you should let him sleep. “Hm, do you remember everything? About me and us?”

   “Actually, I’m not sure,” he says seriously. “I remember most of it. And you know, scientists say that the more you relive a memory, the more likely you are to recover it. Maybe a kiss would help me to remember. Did we already kiss?”

   “Do you think that's funny?” you almost hit him before stopping. “I don't know if you deserve a kiss after the scare you just gave me, but you got shot so…”

   Proud of himself, he smiles, watching standing up and lowering toward him. Closing his eyes, he starts to feel your lips on his forehead, then his nose, and his cheek. When Sleeping Beauty opens his eyes and sees you smiling, he closes them again. He won't have to wait long before he feels your lips on his.

   The kiss starts gently. You truly wanted to stay soft, but Spencer slides one hand over your cheek and the other over your hip. You can't leave now, can you? So he takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss… until the monitor starts beeping too loudly.