#s.a.f.

Waking up with a stretch and a yawn, my eyes opened to see the room filled with sunlight from the window. I look at the face of the man next to me and smile. My wonderful fiance... What did I do to ever deserve you? A small smile overtakes my face as I slowly move his arms from their postions around my body so I can get up. After making sure he's still asleep, I head for the bathroom to freshen up. After a small bout of morning sickness, I finish my morning routine by brushing my teeth. Looking into the mirror, I wonder how I got to where I am in life. And then I look down at my small baby bump and put one of my hands on it, smiling. I'm not entirely sure how I got this far... or how I deserve all of this... but I'm thankful for everything that I have here. With another smile, I look in the mirror and nod, heading out of the bathroom to start my day by waking up my best friend and helping her make breakfast.

I walk into the kitchen, as per usual, to grab my morning apple. But to my suprise, my best friend and our family chef was already awake and preparing breakfast. Shrugging, I walk over to her after washing off my morning apple and taking a bite of it. "What can I help with?" I ask.

"Hm?" She looks at me for a moment. "Omg.... you're showing, honey."

"I know. I woke up and saw it."

"It's cute~ A cute little baby bump~"

"Haha. So what should I help with?"

"You? Nohting."

"I'm not that pregnant yet. I can help."

"Nope. Key told me not to let you help."

"... He doesn't have to know." I say and she laughs, looking at me.

"Sorry, hun. No can do. The only way you can help me is to sit your butt down before I sit it down for you."

"Geez. Fine then. I'll go see if any of the kids are up." I take another bte of my apple and head for the door.

"Nope." She grabs my arm to stop me. "You will sit and finish your apple and then you can go check on the kids."

"But why?" I say, taking another bite.

"I don't need to do the heimlic on my pregnant best friend, okay? Sit and eat, like you tell your kids to do."

"...fine." I go and sit down at the island in the kitchen, eating my apple. "What are you making for breakfast?"

"Gourmet omlettes, maple bacon, and homemade home fries."

"... That must of been a lot of potatoes."

"Exactly. I almost needed a pot to cook them all."

"I bet." I say, continuting to eat my apple. After that we both go silent, her focusing on cooking and me zoning out into my thoughts. What did I ever do to deserve this family? To deserve this happiness? Why me and not some other girl, or even a female idol? Why do I deserve this? ... It's not that I'm not happy or that I want somehting more. I am and I don't. I just... why do I deserve this? I haven't done anything special... I'm a nobody... Am I even a good parent to my kids?  I start to wonder what the life of the family I have would be like if I wasn't a part of it- if someone else was in my place. I don't really... even deserve this family... I don't deserve this happiness... Wouldn't it be better if someone else was in my place?

"Hey." My best friend says. "Are you okay?"

"Huh? Yeah. I was just thinking."

"You had a weird look on your face. What were you thinking about?"

"Just... stuff." I get up and throw the apple core in the trash. "I'm gonna go get the kids up." I say, leaving the kitchen and letting my thoughts take over my mind again, until...

"Smom!" "Mama!" Two small boys, some of my children, come running down the stairs, only stopping when they hug my legs. I put my hands on their heads and ruffle their hair.

"Good morning boys~ I see you're up early."

"Smom~ Can we help you wake up everyone?" The taller of the two boys asks.

"Of course, Junnie." I say as he lets go of my leg, grabbing my hand instead.

"Mama, can you carry me?" The other boy asks.

"Sure, Hoya." I say, before lifting him up so I can carry him on my hip like all mothers do. He makes sure to keep a hold on my shirt so he doesn't fall, even tho I wouldn't let him. "Let's go wake up your siblings, yeah?"

"Yeah!" Hoya says.

"And dad?" Jun asks.