#s:03

I miss being outside. 

Breathing in stale air became boring after some time. Especially to Nathan, who had spent many days inhaling the fumes and gasses of Chicago, which, at the time, had made him grimace in mild disgust. You got used to the smell of cars and unclean streets, but it was something in the background that was just there. Now, the clean and odourless air of Division was creating a stale taste in his mouth, and he swallowed with discontent, almost longing for the stench of alleys. Hell, even in prison it smelled like something. Here, the stench of sweat and people exercising was sucked away before you could even crinkle you nose. But most of all, Nathan missed the breeze and the sun. The feeling of the wind ruffling your clothes and your hair, sending a chill over your spine. The warmth the sun offered and the feeling of warm pavement under you. The soft light it gave in the evening. 

Yes, Nathan decided, when he got out of here, he would sit an entire day in a park and just watch people while enjoying the outdoors. Even if it was snowing, he was going to sit outside (but with a big jacket). The always-room-temperature of the bunker had been getting on his nerves lately, the electric lights and the lack of fresh air holding no variation. They didn't even get to see one single ray of sun. They had no idea what time it was outside, except for the clock on the wall and for all they knew, world war three was going on and they knew nothing.

That also got Nathan weirdly alert, every time he started thinking about the time. Their biological clock was so fucked up that he could've woken up at three in the morning and not thought anything of it. But the thing was, Division's clocks were the only thing in here that indicated the time, watches and mobile phones not allowed. What if they just got up when the sun started to set and went to sleep when... Okay, he was going a bit too far with that, because apparently there were agents that frequently came and went as they pleased, along with the fact that Handlers got to see the outside world every now and then. They would notice if Division was messing with the time. 

Nathan had been lying on his bed the whole time, hands under his head as he thought about all this, looking at the plain ceiling, but not really seeing anything. He had studied the smooth walls and ceilings often enough, eyes always lingering on certain spots and little imperfections that decorated the corners. Nathan had also tried shoving around with his furniture, but had found that it all been securely bolted to whatever it was connected. Figures. They don't want us to barricade the door. Sure, they gave you a lock for privacy, but undoubtedly there was some big button in that room in the centre of the bunker that unlocked all door. They were at the mercy of Division and everyone knew it. The cameras (that somehow always seemed to shift away from them) showed it. The armed guards showed it. Nathan was focusing on graduating, he had even tried to make peace with Malcolm so he could learn faster and quicker which would hopefully lead to getting out of the Bunker sooner. 

Opening his eyes, Nathan sat upright, rubbing a hand over his face as he yawned, cracking his jaw open. Curfew was about to start and Nathan was planning on staying inside his room, again, like the past night. Maybe he'd knock on someone's door tomorrow night, or make some plans, but he'd found some kind of weird rhythm in the routine and he was trying to catch up on sleep. After his little escapade with Mikaela, he had felt the effect immediately the next day, weariness hitting him like a brick during Physical Training as he nearly slumped after the first half hour. He'd almost dozed off during IT Education, a little jab by Cambria keeping him awake.

After going to the toilet, Nathan flopped down on his bed again, face first. His breath warmed his cushion and after some time he pushed himself up, pulling his shirt over his head and taking off his sweatpants. Changing into a thin pair of shorts and a lose shirt, Nathan locked his door after listening for other recruits that might roaming the halls already. Stepping into bed and pulling the covers over him, Nathan closed his eyes and tried to imagine that he was back in Chicago, like he did most of the nights.