#ryanbang

Hoping that we’ll still end up together.

Hold my hand. Laugh and just be happy. I always think about you, just like the old days. I’ve been wanting to talk to you again, but it seems that you’ve lost interest on me again, after a recent couple of “dates” and chats that we had just months ago, just like the old days too.

I think during the times that we haven’t talk and seen each other, my fondness of you was just hidden somewhere in my heart and not loss. If it did, then I won’t be having the same dilemma I had when we we’re in high school and college, just like now. It’s kind of a little different from before though, cuz I know now how to control myself when it comes to you. More likely, maybe I’m just too scared to be running upfront because I don’t want to be dumped and ending up being hurt again, by you.

I still like you though. (Yeah, I’m consistent and persistent like that.) And I think I like you even more. Its just that, I’m not the same girl anymore who swoons on his crush and will do anything just to get close and talk to him, but rather, I am now a woman who has her pride intact that knows she shouldn’t be taken for granted. That if a man likes her, he should be the one making the first move, and will let her know, by any means, of how much he likes and probably loves her.

But then again it is you that we’re talking about. (Sigh)

Then I just realized, this is the first time in years that I am writing again about you. Interesting huh? This just means that you have penetrated deep within my heart, mind and soul yet again.

I guess it can’t be help. I’ve been thinking a lot of you lately.

(Sigh)

I miss you.

But I’m hoping (too) that I’ll come to my senses and realize that you will never ever like me the way I do to you. That I’m just wasting my time on someone that will never ever lay his eyes on me the way I do.

Actually, maybe you like me too, but not enough to be your girl.