#ryan pham

When we are going through a rough patch in our life, we often think that we will never be able to feel happy again. We get so caught up in the hurt and the devastation that we forget the bad days will end and so many more good days are in store for us. The hurt eventually finds its way out and happiness starts to run through our veins again. 

4 years ago I was a young and naive girl who thought her first love would be her last love. He walked through those gym doors and straight into my heart and I thought him and I were going to last forever. What we fail to realize when we are so young is that not everything lasts. Your first love may eventually crash and burn, but your second love will be there to help you pick the pieces back up. When one person walks out of your life another person walks in, and in most cases they’re so much better than the first one. 

For me, the second person is Ryan. 

I’ve overused every word in the dictionary to describe how in love I am with this kid, but it seems like I can just never stop writing/talking about him. No matter what I say the words I put onto paper, on tumblr, or through a text will never do justice to how much he means to me. I wish for one day he could be in my shoes and just feel how deeply in love I am with him. 

I can honestly say that he brings out the best in me. He makes me be the best me I can truly be. He’s taught me how to feel comfortable in my own skin, to forgive myself when I make mistakes, to be selfless, to speak my mind, and most importantly to love with all I can have.

I gave up on love so long ago. Ever since I was one, my parents were divorced and I’ve never had a role model for how love was supposed to be. For me, love was a broken family. Love was arguing from sunrise to sunset. Love was hurting everyone around them no matter what the cost. But then when he walked into my life, I finally saw what love was supposed to be. Love is putting someone else’s needs before yours. Love is making sure that when they need someone you’re there to be their shoulder to cry on. Love is when you want to be a better person for them. Love is when it ignites your soul in a way that you just can’t put into words. 

He’s my best friend. He’s my knight in shining armor. He’s my prince charming. 

No I don’t have my whole life figured out. I don’t know what I want to be. I don’t know what lies in my future. But the one thing I’m damn sure about, is that when I picture my future it has him in it. 

He’s the one for me.