#ryan gordon

contains: angst, breaks up

summary: it’s really just the way things go, and ryan figures that out the hard way

notes: me and @lukesvangelista planned this yet what shocked 😭

“right person. wrong time. wrong person, wrong time.”

october 31, 2025

Ohio State university

—————

ryan had always been then one you went to. and when he wasn’t that person anyone he didn’t know who he was.

someone who would have to move it, see life through things without you. without the one he loves by his side.

when you broke up with him he was broken, no one could comfort him. not even hockey. he played the game, sure.

but it wasn’t him on the ice, it was a shadow of himself on the ice. a shadow he didn’t know how to control or even get rid of.

he wanted himself back on the ice, he wanted to be the one on the ice not some shadow of himself.

he wanted to be himself again. he’s prayed every night to be himself over and over again. he’s never be the same again.

but that’s, the way things go. and it will always be that way, he couldn’t change it. he couldn’t change the fact you broke him, made him a shadow of himself.

he sat in his apartment, scribbling down things on his homework sheet. but he couldn’t focus on his work.

he stared off into space, he didn’t have a good feeling in his stomach. he felt off, like something bad was gonna happen, the exact same feeling when you broke up with him.

it’s like he sensed your presences. you sneaking behind him just to stab him in the back again.

he jumped at the knock on the door, he opened it. it was you, with a box and a bag full of stuff. “this is all your stuff, take it.” you shoved it at him.

he took the box and sat it down along with the bag. “thanks.” he watched you leave, again. you left him.

standing out by the door, as the rain poured and poured. he closed the door, gripping the handle. he leaned his head against the door.

he needed to get used to how it was. the way it goes.

the way it ended, the way you yelled in his face, told him you never wanted to see him again, like all 4 years of your relationship never mattered to you.

you just threw him out in the trash, like some piece of paper and never looked back. but he kept looking back. he’ll always look back.

Calming You Down

contains: fluff, cussing

summary: being anxious is no fun, but when you have the sweetest boyfriend, joe, he’s always there to calm you down

notes: shea requested i deliver

“calming you down and making you smile, two of my favorite things.”

may 26, 2023

Ohio State Dorms

————

a major exam coming up, a quiz in another class. studying doesn’t even began to explain what you were doing.

going back and forth between both of her textbooks and notebooks, writing down whatever information she could.

she knew her boyfriend was coming over so she left the door unlocked, but she barley payed any attention, she didn’t even hear the door open.

joe sighed, looking at her with her nose buried in a book. he knew she was studying, just like yesterday.

she’s been studying for hours and days, she wanted to be prepared, maybe even over prepared.

should she take a break? absolutely. but she isn’t going to. she’s barley even gotten up since she finished all of her classes today.

joe walked behind her, tapping her shoulders. “baby, come on. take a break.” joe whispered. “five more minutes.” she said, finishing up a sentence she needed to remember

she grabbed her highlighter and started highlighting things, seemingly random to joe, but she had a system herself.

joe sighed again, he grabbed the highlighter out of her hand and put the cap back on. he closed the books in front of her and stacked them up.

“joe-.” she spoke. “nope, you’re taking a break, come here.” he sat on the bed, dropping a pillow in the floor. “okay, i’m not gonna suck you off, idiot.” she pushed him.

“that’s not what i wanted, sit down i’ll braid your hair.” joe said. she nodded, sitting down and crossing her legs.

joe parted her hair into two different sections, he scratched her scalp, softly. before he started braiding her hair.

he didn’t know how to braid from the top of the head but he tried his best, braiding at the bottom of her head.

she relaxed. closing her eyes and relaxing for the first time in days. he finished one braid tying it off with one of the extra hair bands he kept.

he kept about three or four of them with him he kept multiple because she never kept any on her. he wanted to be the one to keep them.

he quickly finished the other side of her hair and helped her to her bed before cuddling into her.

“thank you.” she whispered. “of course.” he nodded.

Thunderstorms - JD91

contains: fluff, cussing, mentions of thunderstorms

summary: joe knows you’re afraid of thunderstorms and runs across campus in the middle of a one just to he with you

notes: shea i love you so bad

“i’m so sorry you’re scared, i’ll keep you safe.”

march 25, 2025

Columbus Ohio

————

it had been storming the past few days in columbus, the spring weather that no one, especially y/n, wanted.

the thunder banged loudly as she cuddled into her bed, covered by her blankets and a pillow over her ears.

what she didn’t know was that her boyfriend, the sweetest boy ever Jake Dunlap, was running in the storm to her dorm.

from across the campus from his last class of the day, could he have gotten a ride or something, but he put on his jacket and ran in the thunder and lightning.

jake ran to the dorms, he stood outside forgetting he doesn’t have a key card and waited for someone to open the door.

someone let jake in and he ran to y/n’s dorm knocking on the door, water dripping off of his clothes.

she barley heard the knock but she did and got up, walking to the door and opening it. “jake?” she asked. “hi.” he walked inside.

“let me get you some clothes, oh my god. you must be freezing and you’re gonna get hypothermia.” she ran around the dorm grabbing some of his clothes he left here.

sweats, a t-shirt, and a hoodie. “here, let me turn the heat on.” she handed him the clothes. “y/n, i’m fine.” jake sighed, taking the clothes and going into the bathroom to change.

“what part of campus did you even come from? your last class is so far away. jake you did not.” she came to a realization. “i did because i know you’re scared and i wanted to be with you.” he told her.

“jake dunlap, you ran across campus just to be with me.” she shook her head as he came out of the bathroom. “i did it because i love you.” he kissed her head.

she smiled, hugging him. “you being here calmed me down.” she whispered. “i’m glad, let’s go lay down and cuddle, i’m cold.” he sighed.

“hypothermia is real!”

Leading open source technologies of modern games

The following presentation video of Ryan 'Icculus' Gordon's talk is a must for those, who are interested in the modern game development, want to learn more about the technology behind it, or even going to port or develop a game to Linux. In his talk at the conference Flouish 2012 in Chicago Icculus presented some of the leading open source technologies that are used for the development of modern games like Crysis or World of Warcraft, and which he has used porting games to Linux and Mac OS X. Among other things, he talks about SDL, OpenAL, SQLite, LUA and many others. Icculus is very well known in the Linux community for his excellent and very dedicated work porting games to Linux. He has ported a huge number of games, like Unreal Tournament, Prey, Braid, Shank and much more. Given an increased demand of Linux developers at Valve and other game companies today, Icculus talk could help interested developers to prepare for the one or the other job with the recommended tools by him. Here is the video of this talk:

The slides of the talk are here. Notes are HERE

Ryan "Icculus" Gordon, the well known independent Linux game developer that's single-handedly brought many games to Linux, is set to be giving a presentation in two weeks on a to-be-announced topic. Ryan Gordon will be giving a presentation on 31 March in Chicago as part of the Flourish conference. The presentation's title and description is simply TBA (to be announced) on the presentation page. Could he be talking about new Linux game ports? Perhaps why the Unreal Tournament 3 port to Linux went unreleased to the public? Let the speculations begin... Ryan Gordon did speak at Flourish 2011 (the video is still available), but it basically came down to talking about his past work, trumpeting of efforts like Humble Indie Bundle, and other general Linux / open-source gaming topics, but nothing extraordinary. (However, if I recall correctly, last year he had announced his "Linux gaming" topic in advance rather than leaving it blank.)