#rvncorns

soliciting for dates on the internet may be an all new low for him, and he’s not sure he’s ever had to spell out as many times as he did that he wasn’t looking for an escort - the gift was expensive enough, thank you very much. he didn’t need to spend money on a date too. between that and the number of dick pics that he’s had to sort through, he’s had half a thought the majority of the time to throw this whole thing down the tube and just invite sophie or lily instead. craigslist was supposed to be good for finding people who were willing to do anything - should’ve been easy enough to find someone who wanted to go to a wedding, right?

he’s lounging in the oversized chair at the coffee shop, checking his phone to see what time it is. the least suspicious response was from someone who said their name was noah - and since desperation is the strongest emotion there is, stephen proposed a meeting. in a public place, of course - he’d watched the video of people being murdered after using craigslist.

“are you stephen?” a voice says - and he realizes it’s a woman’s voice, which is initially confusing. he looks up and sees a girl - standing not much taller than he was currently sitting. after a slow nod, her face lights up almost instantaneously, dashing away and grabbing the blond boy standing awkwardly near the door. stephen’s almost positive he hears vague declarations of wanting to leave and curses at someone named sue - but then the blond is seated across from him, looking even more uncomfortable than before. “awesome, here’s noah. have fun!” she says, before darting away.

stephen watches her as she leaves, before slowly and turning to look at noah. “so,” he starts, raising an eyebrow. “should i even ask?” 

noah’s shaking his head, looking more uncomfortable than humanly possible. “no, don’t bother. this is so embarrassing, i can’t believe this. i’m - sorry about her, she saw your ad and thought it was a good idea and replied as me because i was having a bad day and she said you were cute so that would make it better. i mean, which of course you are, but that’s not the point…” 

stephen’s still staring at him, watching what he can only describe as a trainwreck unfold - and perhaps if he was smarter he’d apologize for wasting his time and send the guy on his way, doomed to attend the wedding without a real date. but he hesitates.

“does that mean you’re not interested, or what?” he asks. noah stops, looking at him - as if he’s waiting for some kind of punchline. sighing heavily, stephen slumps back in the chair. “look, i’m desperate. i need a date to this wedding because if not i’m going to look like an idiot, and i’d like to avoid that if possible. i can’t pay you to attend or whatever - but it’d just be for like. the rehearsal dinner, the ceremony and that’s it. staying in a nice hotel those two nights, free food and open bar,” he explains, before shrugging sheepishly. it sounded a lot less pathetic when he wasn’t the one saying it aloud. he’s a second away from panicking and running out the door, but then he hears it. 

“okay.” 

— 

he meets noah in the lobby of the hotel, making it easier to seem like they came together. and as they make the uncomfortably silent trip down the hallway, stephen reminds himself that he’s forbidden himself to start thinking about how weird this is. not at all. it’s totally normal to go on a date with and share a room with someone who you’ve only met once before.

if he was a normal person, he easily could’ve started this conversation with a compliment, or thank noah for coming - or any hundreds of topics. the weather, for example.

“what’s in this for you?” he settles on instead - smooth. “not many people i know just willingly attend some wedding without anything in return. you’re not planning to like, steal everything, right?” 

noah’s watching him with an unreadable expression, though stephen’s sure that it’s somewhat positive. he shrugs casually, though. “it’ll piss off my parents, mostly. posting some of the pics, showing i’m on a date with a dude, that i’m perfectly happy without them,” he points out, and stephen nods as if he understands. “we, uh, got in a big fight a few months ago and i told them i didn’t need them. they told me i’d regret it, i moved in with my friend sue - and not surprising, i don’t regret it.” he’s smiling and it’s genuine, and it’s strange, but seeing it makes stephen smile.

“shit. let me know if we need to take obscenely couple-y photos to send to them,” he mutters and notices a few people he recognizes outside of the restaurant doors. they notice him, grinning and waving and making their way over to meet him - and without thinking, stephen threads his fingers through noah’s. he belatedly realizes he didn’t even say anything to noah - but, fuck, he said he was bringing a date. a real date - and the last thing he needed was to be called out for his lie. 

noah doesn’t say anything though, just smiles and greets the others, going along with it and pretending to know so much about these random strangers - because of all the things stephen has apparently told him. 

and through it all, he keeps his hand in stephen’s.

stephen’s usually a charismatic creature, but tonight he wishes he were anywhere else than in this room. there’s so many people to talk to, so many people he has to pretend to, and it’s far more tiring than he expects it to be. noah is surprisingly good at pretending to be his boyfriend in front of his friends, making small talk with ernie and even dancing at one point with sally-anne. something in stephen’s chest is warm, unfurling - but he shakes it away, knowing what the real truth behind this whole night is. 

—

he’s sitting outside on one of the benches in this fake terrace, his shirt collar undone and open in hopes of assuaging it. and though, he’s never been one for smoking, his nerves feel raw and it gives himself something else to focus on. dinner’s over, the rehearsal’s over - and stephen realizes how uncomfortable he’s been feeling.

“i thought you’d abandoned ship,” he hears from softly beside him, and he looks over to see noah taking the seat beside him. “you want to tell me the story about why you needed a date tonight, or are you going to make me ask?” 

stephen exhales raggedly, stamping out the cigarette on the sidewalk. “the groom - wayne. he’s been one of my closest friends… probably since university. we lived together, we would stay at each other’s places over holidays, we just had this connection,” he starts, before letting out a hollow laugh. “if only i realized sooner that i was in love with him.” 

he feels noah tense next to him. “does he know?”

a sense of dread falls over stephen, at which point he quickly shakes his head. “no, no. he can’t find out. please. i’m not - with him… it’s not like anymore, but…” he sounds pathetic, which is fitting considering that he feels exactly the same. his stomach has been twisting the whole night, seeing wayne - seeing wayne happy, thinking back on those nights of being torn and feeling terrible and hating himself for what he felt. 

“hey, i’m not gonna tell him,” noah reassures, and moves to take his hand again. there’s no one else around, which is why stephen is confused - but he doesn’t move. just sighs again, slumping back against the bench, enjoying the way noah is dragging his thumb over stephen’s knuckles. it’s comforting. “i get it. i’m sorry.” 

stephen shakes his head, before turning to noah. “i wanted to have a relationship by the time this came around so that i could prove to myself i was over him. i tried to make it happen, and then i started telling people i had a boyfriend, and… it spiraled out of control before i could stop it. so there. that’s why i needed you to come. because i was an idiot and lied and told people i was bringing my boyfriend to this wedding.”

there’s a heavy silence between them, and all stephen can focus on as he stares down at the ground for a moment is the way that noah’s hand feels solid in his. he’s selfish and self-absorbed, and for those few seconds, it’s nice to feel that. to feel something.

“it doesn’t have to be a lie.”

he lets out another laugh, practically self-deprecating at this point, as he turns to talk to him. oddly enough, he’s barely gotten a chance to open his mouth when noah kisses him. it’s unexpected and rushed and it makes his stomach twist - but in a different way. he lets go of noah’s hand, only to curl his fingers in the shirt, holding on.

“you barely know me,” stephen reminds him a few moments later. “how would you even know you want to date me?” 

noah makes a face, before starting to laugh. “we’re already dating, remember. we can figure the rest out later. you can take me on a date to repay me for not leaving you boyfriendless for this wedding. your treat.”

the next thing she knows is shouting at the team for what seems like the hundredth time just this year, and it’s barely their sixth – she’s the one dragging all their arses back to practice, while montague is snogging girls two years younger than him in the library, or while draco acts like quidditch doesn’t mean shit and that he has better things to do, or while noah sucks face with his boyfriend in the middle of their common room. she’s the one suggesting new strategies – mostly ones used by the harpies, but montague is a fucking puddlemere fanatic, she should’veknown – but she should’ve seen this coming, because their poor excuse of a captain only encourages the rest of the team, and couldn’t give a shit if she missed practice, and keeps her on the team because the captain before him insisted him to do so.

you misogynistic piece of shit, she calls him, because he’s not her captain anymore. the moment he announced noah as their new – leader, tracey doesn’t want to say, but she has to now, doesn’t she? – he lost all authority over her. she’s a better chaser than montague will everbe, and she’s been practicing every single day since owls ended, and yeah, sure, runcorn can give a run for her money, but that doesn’t mean – that montague gets to pick him just because he thinks he’s more competent because he has a prick. the other teams at least get a say on their captains. though she doubts any of them would speak up for her. noah looks at her, confused, and she raises her arms in frustration, rolling her eyes – she storms off, because she can, because he will never have that sort of authority over her.

she yells about it at padma for ages. she sits before her, sipping at her cup of tea, listening intently as she talks about sexism and how unfair it is that she’s the only girl on the team and how she makes more sense than runcorn when it comes to communicating with team members, and when it comes to tracey fucking davis, that’s saying something. but you never make sense, says padma, and tracey shouts, exactly!

she shoots daggers at noah’s way whenever she sees him. she even curses him, once, shoutingmimblewimble at him when his voice irritates her more than she likes. padma thinks she’s immature, but she’s always immature, and she never says she isn’t amused by it – actuallyappreciates her spellwork, at some point. tracey tosses and turns at night and goes to sleep angry, wakes up angry, has breakfast angry, goes to class angry, and doesn’t show up for practice for a couple of times. she goes flying on her own – she likes it better like that, anyway, that she doesn’t have to hear stupid boys shouting stupid things at each other.

at some point, noah has enough of it.

she’s sitting in the common room on her own, reading by the fireplace with franklin sitting in her lap when he approaches her. there’s reluctance in his stance, and tracey knows why, because when she wants to curse someone, she knows she can do it. he sits at the edge of the sofa, as far away as he can sit from her, and clears his throat. tracey doesn’t look at him.

he talks about how montague’s an asshole, but that he knows that she knows that he’s good at what he does, and that he was elected captain over the other boys for a reason, and tracey drops her book over her face, because she’s so over this. she doesn’t know why she’s angry, and she doesn’t want to keep talking about this, because if she keeps complaining about it to theo and padma one more time, she’s sure they’re going to hit her with a book or something. but then she raises the book, and noah looks at her with something akin to honesty in his eyes, and tracey sighs.

you’re envious, you idiot, she thinks. you know he’s good, and he knows you’re good, stop being such a drama queen about it.