#running update

I wish I could share my running/training on Facebook where my family/friends are. Unfortunately, it always backfires. Everyone assumes I’m magically cured from cancer or they think I am physically capable of going “back to normal”. No one reads my write ups about what goes into training a body like mine. Next thing I know, my comments are blowing up. It’s not worth it. It seems the only people who “get it” are those that have actually experienced cancer themselves or they had to be a caregiver to someone with cancer. I try to educate as much as I can but if no one listens, then I may as well be talking to the wall. This disease can be really lonely, sometimes.

I did 18 kilometres, today. Running this far on this body is challenging so I have to do a lot of things that “normal people” don’t have to think about.

Pain medications. I took 1 mg of hydromorphone. 1 (100mg) Celebrex. 1 extra strength Tylenol. 10km’s in, I had to take another 1 mg hydro. (Compared to other cancer patients with the same level of bone metastasis, this is hardly anything but I don’t want to get constipated.)

Resting. I had to take 2 - 5 minute breaks to relieve the strain off my neck and upper back. Once at the 10km mark and once at 15km’s. (I would likely need to do it every 5km’s.)

Heart rate. I can’t go over 155 bpm which forces me to walk when I don’t want to. If I go over, I gas out and the fatigue just takes over.

Cadence. I have to keep a watch on how fast my steps are or my hip joints will scream at me.

Stride. Again, I have to watch my stride distance. I take these dumb baby steps now and that helps a lot. I used to be an “over strider” so this has taken a lot of practice.

Focus. I have to focus on not moving my neck much. This requires me to rely on my peripheral vision. Otherwise, I have to turn my entire body if I need to say, look both ways before crossing the road. If I move my neck too much, I get issues like “crunching” and then my neck goes super stiff and sore for a week.

Sleep. If I get under 8 hours sleep, I wouldn’t run this far. If I don’t sleep enough, I am prone to more pain and inflammation which can result in an injury.

Hydration. I have to make sure to sip water or an electrolyte every 15 minutes. If I get dehydrated, that can cause more pain, heart palpitations and severe fatigue.

Anyway, there’s more things like nutrition, post exercise recovery and the list goes on. Shorter runs are a lot easier and doesn’t require as much preparation.

Scenes from my run, today.

Navigating an illness or physical issues while trying to run is extremely challenging. It’s worth it (for me), though. It keeps my mental health in check and that’s worth its weight in gold.

There will come a time where I won’t be able to run anymore. I realize this. It’s upsetting to think about but it is what it is. At that time, I will have to figure out what to do to combat the depression but in the meantime, I’m trying my best to keep going. Plus, I just love being outside. Out in nature or along the trails. By the beach. Breathing fresh air. Watching the deer, bunnies, trash pandas 🦝, squirrels, birds or any other wildlife I happen to see that day. (I really miss seeing the bears. That’s one of the very few things that I miss about the mainland.)

I know that most people wouldn’t run anymore if they had to deal with my level of pain. There’s also an element of risk involved, too. For example, if I were to fall, that could be catastrophic. Not to mention, the impact of running over time could make my neck more kyphotic causing more problems. Of course, anywhere on my spine, hip or pelvis could just fracture/implode one day, too. But, it would do that anyway. I don’t need to be running for that to happen.

I noticed my V02 on my Apple Watch has been in the “high” range for almost a month now. It’s taken nearly 2 years to get there. I don’t know how accurate this is but I’d like to believe that my higher activity levels are helping me. I’m definitely feeling better.

Anyway, I’m going to call my Oma, now. Can’t believe she’s going to be 96 in July. She’s very inspiring to me. She goes for her daily walks with her walker for an hour. She lives on her own and takes care of herself. The last few times I’ve talked to her, she’s been really antsy to get out in her garden and plant her flowers. She always makes the outside very beautiful. When she was younger (like, 80?), her front and back yard always looked amazing. She can’t bend down like she used to but she has raised beds or high flower pots, now.

last week:

friday, nov. 29 - 5 km tempo on the treadmill (including a 1 km warmup)

saturday, nov. 30 - 5 km easy on the treadmill (this was meant to be 7 km but for various reasons it ended up being 5. fascinating stuff, i know.)

sunday, dec. 1 - 10 km easy (outside! my HR wasn’t super low but i did keep the pace relaxed.)

5 km with a low heart rate is now pretty doable. It’s slow, obviously, but at least I can run the whole thing. 

this week’s plan:

tuesday, dec. 3 - 5 km easy (did this one already - a win on the low HR front, and it was outside!)

wednesday, dec. 4 - 5 km easy

friday, dec. 6 - 5 km easy

sunday, dec. 8 - 8 km easy

I’ve decided to skip the tempo run this week and keep things super easy because i’m increasing my mileage a little bit and can feel that my shins aren’t especially jazzed about it.

Back in the day, I would also drink Gatorade for an electrolyte/energy but learned that it does not work for me in the heat. I remember training all winter for my first full marathon in 2011. I knew they were using Gatorade on the race course. On the day of the race, it was absolutely, stinkin’ hot. First hot day of the year and it was only May. Half way through, I ended up puking orange Gatorade into a garbage can at an aid station. Not embarrassing at all. 😳 That later prompted me to find a different electrolyte and that’s when I found Nuun. Anyway…

After my run, I took the kid for a cup of tea at the cafe. We had a nice walk and a good chat. The cafe had colourful dahlia arrangements on the table. They’ve always been one of my favourite flowers.

Last night I watched the docu-series about The Biggest Loser show. It didn’t reveal anything that I wasn’t already suspicious of - but, I didn’t realize how terrible they treated some of the contestants. It was a billion dollar franchise and they couldn’t supply these people with some therapy and post-show support. Ridiculous. They preyed on these people who were desperate and vulnerable - used them as a spectacle for millions of viewer’s entertainment. I remember being intrigued when it first came out. I watched the first few seasons as we actually played it some evenings when I used to work at the gym. The show’s challenges became more dangerous or demeaning. I eventually stopped watching but I knew people who watched it religiously.

The kid made awesome gluten free blueberry muffins. I’ve already had 2 but should eat something more substantial. I’m trying to think what to make for dinner. Then, it’s book-readin’ time.

Health Update

Yesterday, I went for labs and everything seems fine to take my next round of chemotherapy.

However, this morning, I saw that my tumour markers went up for the second month in a row. It looks like it’s on a similar trajectory to when my last treatment failed. A slow climb. It took 6 months before I started getting “mixed results” on my scans and I was getting more tired and in pain. I could have probably stayed on my treatment for another 3-6 months but was terrified of waking up one day to another fracture. Knowing what I know now, I won’t be as quick to jump the gun. Plus, my next treatment line is Taxol. I am not looking forward to looking like a sick person, again.

My scans from 3 weeks ago showed everything was still stable. My next scans are in April and they may even show everything is stable, again. My July scans may start to show “mixed results” and they may move my scans up to every 2 months. If I were to guesstimate when I’ll be switched off my current treatment, it’ll be around the end of September/beginning of October. That being said, no matter how much I prepare, cancer is unpredictable and I really don’t know. Nor does the oncologist. It sucks.

I do a have plan, though. It makes me feel like I have a little bit of control.

My first goal is to hold on as long as possible to get into a clinical trial. My oncologist told me there will be a few coming up in the next 6 months in Vancouver.

Secondly, I am going to go into “ultra Sasha” mode and go hardcore with my health. There’s still snow and ice on the ground so I can’t run but I’ve been on the elliptical every day and I’m working with weights/strength training and stretching. Next, I’ll be overhauling my diet and documenting everything. I will do some intermittent fasting, again. I’ll also be incorporating regular meditation and fixing my sleep hygiene habits.

Rome wasn’t built in a day. In the grand scheme of things, I don’t know if any of this will make a lick of difference and give me more time - but it certainly can’t hurt. If anything, it should help my strength and quality of life when I do have to switch to a more harsh treatment. It will also get me back into doing some healthy habits and prevent premature frailty.

Tomorrow, I have my Zoladex shot and port flush. It was rescheduled as we had that massive dump of snow earlier this week.

Running Update

As I said, we still have snow on the ground and a lot of it has morphed into an ice rink. It’s way too risky for me to run (and walk in some areas) - even with ice cleats. I went for a walk to the bus stop yesterday and I had to catch myself a few times from falling. Luckily, my kid was with me. (I took an Uber home.)

We do have a little home gym with an elliptical, free weights, yoga ball, etc. I will continue with that for another week or two. If the ground is still frozen, I’ll head to the recreation centre to run on the treadmill dreadmill .

In just over 3 months, we have an ultra race happening near me. It’s on soft trail, mostly flat with lots of washrooms, benches (to rest) and a great support team. There is a 50k, 50 mile and 100k with a 12 hour time limit for all 3 distances. I am considering signing up for the 50k. I know it’s ridiculous to consider it and I likely won’t finish it but I just want to see how far I can go without any pressure of time limits.

There’s a 40k walk but I’m not walking that far. (If I start to run, I will be immediately disqualified.) It’s meant for speed walkers and my hips don’t move that way. lol.

Anyway, sign up isn’t until April 1st. I’ll see where I’m at by that point. My goal (as always) is just to make it to the start line but I’d like to see myself go further than a half marathon distance. It’s a cheap entry fee and I’ll get a t-shirt and some snacks out of it, regardless. lol. Plus, ultra runners are just super cool, kind, encouraging (and surprisingly modest) people to be around.

Most of all, I just need a crazy goal to fixate my self on so I don’t think about cancer.

Life Update

I binge watched The Big C. I had my kid download it for me. I never heard of it. It came out in 2010 and ran for 4 seasons. (The 4th season was extra short.) It stars Laura Linney and Oliver Platt. Both great actors. It’s a funny (in a dark humour sort of way) but also serious and sad. Laura Linney stars as Cathy, a wife, Mother and high school teacher who gets diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma. She turns into sort of a gong-show of a human being as she originally didn’t tell anyone and refused treatment. I think it was a really good show with some awesome guest actors in it as well. While the story line may seem a bit chaotic and unrealistic, I’ll tell you right now, that I’ve read some really crazy blogs of stage 4 cancer patients who do some pretty bizarre things. So, I recommend watching it. (I believe the first 2 seasons are on Apple TV.)

I’m starting to read War and Peace. It’s a book I’ve been wanting to read since I was a teenager. It will likely take me all year. It’s very, very, very long. lol.

This weekend the kid and I will be volunteering at the aquarium and will also be going to the Lunar New Year celebration downtown.

Today, I also volunteered/connected with my health coaching participant who is doing well.

I’ve also got my usual long to-do list to get through but right now, I’m going to finish my green protein shake and read.

Below is when the snow hit earlier this week. I kept my mask on after getting off the bus to keep my face warm.

Realised how much more content I feel when I’ve moved my body and especially when I’ve been out running (ok, I know, I have this realisation every time I come back from a run and have been yapping on about it on here but still! The sun! The movement! The way you feel!!)