(i will not be responding to any comments anymore, y’all are exhausting. i don’t have all the answers, please go through my political tag and check out blogs like @enby-banshee or @i-suggest-transfeminism . this post was made because of a post accusing misandrists of being racist, transphobic, etc. i’ve tagged transandrophobia because i am tired of the misconception that transfeminism = hating transmascs. i am NOT transmasc but socially i do in fact present as such. this was a simple post and i did not expect you guys to start pulling shit out of your asses because you assume that i don’t understand intersectionality. i’ve made any clarifications that i could besides coming up with a new term for you guys cus like. im simply not doing that. figure it out yourselves and popularize a new term that wasn’t popularized by a nazi.)
equating feminism, especially transfeminism as racist, transphobic or particularly anti transmasc or intersex is STUPID. YOU HAVE FALLEN FOR REACTIONARY PROPAGANDA SPREAD BY PEOPLE WHO DO NOT WANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR OWN PRIVILEGE. implying feminism is anything BUT pro women is misogynistic. if you want to criticize white feminists yeah sure of COURSE. there is historical data to back up that white feminism weaponized racism towards women of color. however, if you aren’t fucking stupid you would be able to realize terfs and racists just use feminism for their own agenda and are not ACTUAL FEMINISTS. criticize white women, not marginalized communities of women who just want to point out the injustices in their own fucking communities.
Misandry is just a red herring designed to take the focus off of men's violence. And that's why I don't care if some low value loser thinks
A few years ago, many of my clients began using gender-neutral terms to refer to pregnancy, periods, and other stereotypically female states
i’m adding this second article to show that i properly vetted my sources because i do not want to accidentally use any sources from terfs.
also like seriously look at why the term misandrist even exists. why men even use it. its because feminism, wanting equality for women, was seen as ANTI MEN. WOMEN WANTING BASIC AUTONOMY WAS SEEN AS HATRED OF MEN. Please let that sink in. PLEASE.
EDITS so you guys stop bringing up irrelevant shit.
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all i have to say is. why put yourself in a position of caregiver if you don’t have it in you. honestly. respect your own limits and stop dating people you will ultimately resent.
AN ESSAY/VENT(?) I DID NOT EXPECT TO WRITE AND YET, HERE I AM.
@shotatoga goes by toga, rune and uses it/its pronouns.
Please refer to this page before you engage in conversation.
one thing i want to make so vehemently clear is that i am not transmasculine. and yet,
socially in public, i am a trans man. i am currently stealth at work, i’ve only told two trusted people that i am a man. social media wise, i am open as a trans man and hint quite often that i am nonbinary but only a close couple of people know that im nonbinary but in a way no one genuinely understands (i use micro labels honestly as a means to explain my complex relationship with gender). essentially to transadnrophobes truthers, i experience “transmisandry” and “exorsexism”. so y’all can accuse me all you want that i don’t experience what you believe in and that i’m just being a dick to tmes, but i am very much coming from a place of understanding my experiences and simply view the transphobia i experience as just that, simple transphobia. and at the end of the day, transphobia encompasses misogyny, homophobia, sexism, ableism, and religious persecution. i experience it all first hand. every time i mention my husband, im asked if i cook for him. when i bring up that im queer and trans, i get asked invasive questions about transitioning and my husband’s sexuality. when i tell people i’m autistic (which is deeply entangled with my transness) they tell me i’m not, in order to placate me because they believe being autistic is a bad thing, and frankly a monolith. when i bring up that i’m trans, the first thing they’ll do is say they don’t “care how people refer to themselves.” my mother believes my queerness is because i was sexually assaulted ; my family has said i am ugly any time i’ve presented as masculine and once i started dressing femininely they assumed i had detransitioned. when i bring up the fact that i’m queer the first thing a person will say is that they’re religious. and then ask me if i am, and say that one day i may come to find jesus. my mother has spewed religious propaganda since i was a child and once she discovered i was queer it caused me to spiral in deep deep depressive espisode that had me hospitalized and institutionalized twice at 12 years old. when i came out as trans, my mother told me i was breaking her heart for denouncing my deadname. my parents refused to take me to get haircuts and obviously i had no access to gender affirming care until i made my own money. the only way i even got a binder was because my sister bought it for me in secret. i proceeded to wear that binder for two years straight, after years of wearing tight sports bras. now i am physically incapable of wearing binders. in highschool i refused to use the womens bathroom or the mens for that matter, it got so bad that i messed up my bladder and even a little amount of pee makes me feel like im going to explode. when i had to take p.e i asked to be in the mens locker room— i did my best to pass and changed in private. still my classmates refused to acknowledge that i was a man. so many times did they ask me “what are you?”. when i got my first job, i tried to establish myself as a man. the very first day people had arguments over my gender behind my back . i worked with a older queer woman for essentially two years and she still misgendered me until the very day i left. when i went to my GM, she defended her and did nothing to make me feel respected. once i got my current job i made sure that at the very least i would use my chosen name. when people discovered my dead name, despite me saying i did not use it, they used said names interchangeably for me. my dead name is inherently latino and therefore has to be pronounced with an accent, which only other latinos have managed to do. i am one of the palest people in my family, though my hair is very curly and i have plenty of ethnic features. every person i’ve talked to has told me they assumed i was asian and probably mixed white. so yes. while i might be NB, i am perceived as a poc no matter what. in fact i was bullied in elementary school for my ethnic features, despite the fact i went to a very diverse school, as in, white kids were essentially the minority.
concerning romantic or sexual relationships i always establish that i am man. despite this straight men pursue me anyway and then refuse to be seen with me. they’ve used me as sexual object, and turned around and left me when i wanted to be acknowledged. hell, one guy actually dated me but said once i transitioned our relationship would be over.
having said all of this. misandry is not real and is inherently illogical and a reactionary term used to silence and villainize women for seeking equality and being resentful and scared of men for the horrific things they do to them by utilizing the patriarchy in any way they can. and you may ask, well what about black men? and to that i say, talk and listen to black women and men. genuinely just listen to black creators. they are capable of understanding that black people, across this entire damn earth, are systematically the most oppressed class. that’s simply factual. if you do just a little bit of reading you will find that emancipation fundamentally changed the once equal relationship black men and women had.
SO. Take a moment and consider how it must have been to be a trans woman at this time. They were inherently oppressed on the basis that if they even had the opportunity to transition, they would once again be subordinate to men. Being a black trans woman is honestly the antithetical to any privilege they may have once had. To be a trans woman is to forfeit any proximity to privilege that one may have had. Consider in fact what it may have meant to be nonbinary as a black emancipated person. What possible privilege could they have held?
Now let’s consider how people have historically used any proximity to masculinity to protect femme presenting people ; In the mid-20th century, butch lesbians were often limited to jobs that did not enforce strict dress codes for women. During the McCarthy era, butch lesbians faced increased violence and discrimination, but they also played a crucial role in defending gay spaces, particularly in bars, from attacks by police and other oppressors. The butch identity has evolved over the decades, influenced by various social and political movements, including the civil rights, gay rights, and women's rights movements.
If you attempt to use this as an excuse to justify the existence of transandrophobia well, simply put, you have no respect for lesbians.
“However, these spaces weren’t entirely secure. There were laws as early as the 1940s known as the “three article rule.” They made wearing less than a certain number of gender-conforming clothing illegal. You could be arrested. you could be assaulted. You could even be killed. When modern refuters and gatekeepers say butches only existed for “safety purposes,” it’s erasure. If butches were comfortable being femme, they would’ve been. Maybe they had to pass as men in front of cops, but they weren’t men, and they risked their lives to exist as butch. To say that butches of today or, by extension, that any other lesbians can’t express themselves in a way that’s comfortable is spitting in the face of every butch and femme, of every lesbian, that survived the police raids and discrimination and violence in order to freely exist.”
This oppression, whether you like it or not, was not because of misandry. Butches were strictly NON-MEN. Well then what was it? Simple, basic transphobia and misogyny.
Now, i implore you to read this essay concerning the experiences of black transgender women and gnc woc. In full transparency, i have not read the full essay yet, unfortunately just writing out this essay has taken too much time out of my day.
My ending sentiment is this. Misandry has not and never will be a systemic issue. Therefore i have no interest in engaging with said concept.
“The term misandry originated in the late 19th century as an epithet for first-wave feminism, drawing an equivalence between hatred of men and misogyny, the hatred of women.The term re-emerged during the 1980s in men's rights literature and academic literature on structural sexism. In the internet age, use of the term has become common within the manosphere to counter feminist accusations of misogyny as part of an antifeminist backlash.”
If any trans particularly black women have anything they would like me to correct or anything of that manner, please feel free to contact me. I have no intention to speak over you. Any contributions will be met with appreciation. I do not desire to fight transandrobros so if you decide to annoy me with such anyway, don’t expect a civil conversation. Thank you.
im sorry but uh? what the hell are you talking about. what i’ve seen coming from transfeminists is that! trans women experience transmisogyny before they’re even out. which exactly aligns with what you are saying.. im wondering why you think that white trans women are not intelligent enough to understand that race makes trans women of color disadvantaged in a way they have not experienced, but it sure as hell is similar. what a gotcha to white trans women
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tumblr so woke we’ve got mras on here 😭 it’s like everyone is so fucking disconnected from the oppression women face simply because they can not interact with intersectionality in good faith. yes men suffer from the patriarchy, they are also who fucking made it. who enforce it, who benefit from it. feminists have grown tired, because guess what? we have done all we can. it’s on men to dismantle this system but they won’t. because even if yes, they experience pain due to it, the rewards out weighs their desire to change anything. when you add race, transness, queerness, intersexuality, etc. into the mix of course things are so much more complicated. but at the end of the day, in our separate communities, men are on top. men of color’s desire to have proximity to whiteness has them use their privilege of simply being born ‘male’ to tear down the women in their community. does that negate the fact they have their own struggles? no. of fucking course not. because at the end of the day white cis men are at top. so no, i do not believe in misandry. just like you will never catch me believing in reverse racism or reverse homophobia. the people at top deserve criticism, and they are not owed grace or compassion or our sentiments being wrapped in a neat bow so we can convince them to not be violent and oppressive to the women who keep this earth running. i have a puerto rican cisgendered bisexual disabled husband. i know the pain he has experienced, and none of it has been because he was a goddamn man. it was because of ableism, homophobia, racism, and parental abuse. men experience “boys don’t cry”, however they are still owed the world, the labor of women, of grace. and yes, it is because of the patriarchy, but it is not systemic. i need you guys to remind yourselves of how we got here. of why we have a patriarchal society. and who exactly, at the end of the day, benefits from it the most. women are not your enemy, they are not your oppressors simply because they are cautious and scared of what you are capable of due to your proximity of masculinity. when men around the world use the patriarchy (and religion as they tend to go hand in hand) as a tool to abuse and manipulate and destroy, yes of course hatred is the natural response.
i have identified has a trans man, as transmasc, as a lesbian, as bisexual and as nonbinary at separate times in my life. at the end of the day, the way society treated me was stemmed from misogyny and prejudice because i was socially stunted, hispanic and queer. not because at some point i wanted to be a man, no in fact my desire to transition was ultimately respected. uneducated people simply did not understand my transness.
all of this is to say, i am transgender, nor masc or fem, simply androgynous in my expression. and when i am mistreated and disrespected worst, it is because i am seen as female. so yeah, i identify with that, because that pain is imbedded in me. imbedded in the women around me. you can convince me that misandry exists when women are truly and finally seen as people.
i really hate the fact that i could be seen as radfem or transphobe or whatever the fuck just because i am intelligent enough to understand that misogyny (alongside racism and religion) is at the root of all problems and believe we would be better fucking off in a matriarchal society. and yes, i believe women can be sexist, to OTHER women. not men. how do people not understand that the term misandry was created just to deflect responsibility, just as white people believe they are oppressed because people of color outwardly fucking hate them because they benefit from white PRIVILEGE. because WHITE women only got their fucking rights a little over a century ago and the cra of 1964 was only 62 fucking years ago. SLAVERY IS STILL A THING. THE WAGE GAP IS STILL A THING. I will not care about mens rights or white peoples fucking rights until women of color are seen as EQUALS.
i’m tired of people acting like trans black women aren’t the main reason we are here today.
and to be clear, tranmisogyny and misogynoir are real issues the trans community has to work on.
the craziest part of my parents voting against my rights is that well. im not sure how my father expects to get his gender affirming care, i.e testosterone, if yk. our state doesn’t have access to it. fucking dumbasses