Xanxus doesn't actually meet the old man's eldest until after he's taken over the Varia.
The old man likes to get all his spawn together once a month so he can stare at them and play happy families. It's also the time he uses to coordinate business between the different departments he and his offspring manage, without half the dragging tedium of a full department meeting and with steak. Xanxus attends one and not the other, the old man stares at him some, and nobody gets shot.
They're in the middle of coffee and Xanxus is considering whether he'll actually jump out the window this time when a tall, lean woman shrugging off a dark coat barges into the room without pausing.
Xanxus reaches for his gun the same way every guard in the room does, but he's the only one that actually makes it to aiming, and he keeps his bead right on her face.
The old man twitters something, but the woman is looking him straight in the eye and they both ignore him. Her eyes are dark and intense, her hair scraped back into a bun, and is wearing no lipstick to speak of. Squalo definitely has his sword drawn, and the guards are making shifty movements, but she doesn't look away from him.
Until she smiles, hard and challenging.
“Heard there was a new brat in the house,” she says. “Looks like you're not completely useless.”
And then she pulls out a chair and sits herself down with a cup of coffee, Xanxus and the gun still trained on her temple dismissed. He might've done something about that, except her attention is still very clearly on him even if he can't quite make out the nature of her flame and her eyes are fixed on the spoon moving mechanically between the sugar bowl and her coffee. It's heavy, lead-weighted, and when she switches to stirring a bare drop of cream into her drink her eyes catch on the gun and her smile gets wider.
Eager.
“Federica, please,” sighs the old man, and Xanxus realizes this is the one Vongola he hasn't heard about.
The one he hasn't been compared to, and he's starting to see the reason for both omissions.
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Who’s excited for some rule 63! I was heavily inspired by the picture below. It’s my favorite interpretation of female!Shigaraki by far. A lot of the swaps I’ve seen I feel is way TOO sexy. No matter what Shaigraki identify as he still be a hot mess not matter what.Â
Bonus: “Father” has also been swapped to “Mother” now :D
This is a PSA for people making gender-bent Batman AUs.
If your name for fem!Dick can’t be shortened to something rude/punn-able, you’re doing character names wrong. Submitted for your consideration:
Titania, shortened to Titty
Frances, shortened to Fanny
Miranda, shortened to Randy
Gaye - this one’s a bit old fashioned, and also you can really only get away with it if the character is canon queer, but offers a whole lot of joke oppatunities
Literally any two names that can be shortened to BJ
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band of brothers -Â genderswapped!au + roller derby!au
“The first thing I ever learned in roller derby is to fall, and in the real world I believe that same rule applies.”
The Toccoa Roller Derby League is proud to present this year’s lineup of the Screaming Eagles team:
Referees: Â
Harriet “Scary Harry” Welsh
Kitty “KickKat” Welsh
Main Team:
Rochelle “Tricky Ricky” Winters
Louise “Sweet Lou” Nixon
Carena “Fat Lippy” Lipton
Ranelle “Ronni Sparks” Speirs
Eugena  “Gena Hyena” Roe
Edith “Babe With The Power” Heffron
Josephine “Holy Josey”  Liebgott
Davida “Davi Kamikaze” Webster
Joelle “Showy Joey” Toye
Georgina “Georgie Porgie” Luz
Willma “Wild Billy” Guarnere
Wrenn “Skip Check” Muck
Donna “Amazon Don” Malarkey
Alexandra “Deadly Lexi” Penkala
Alternates/Rookies:
Charlene “Gnarly Charlie” Grant
Johanna “Johnny StrikeHer”  Martin
Florence “Glow With The Flo” Talbert
Lynn “Lucky Bucky” Compton
Danielle “Nifty Shifty” Powers
Denise “The Bull” Randleman
Winona “Skinny Winnie” Sisk
We’d like to thank everyone for auditioning and we look forward a great season of bruises and broken bones.Â
Attached you’ll find the training schedule. Please let us know ahead of time if it doesn’t work for you so our alternates can take your place.Â
Hang tough, girls!
Ricky smiled as she finished the email and hit send. This year was going to be great. Her, Lou, Harry, and Kitty had been working so hard to make the team as best as possible and with Sobel out of the way, they finally feel like they have a shot.Â
Harry and Kitty had done an amazing job with recruiting and their main team and alternates were filled with bubbly and brutal players and she was so excited to start training.
Soft arms wrapped around her chest as she closed her laptop.
“I love seeing you so happy.”
She smiled and leaned into Lou’s arms, “I love that you love that.”
Lou kissed her head and walked into their kitchen.
“I take it you wanna hit the rink as soon as possible?”
Ricky shrugged, “I mean practice doesn’t start until later tonight, but we could always warm up.”
Lou laughed through her beer, “I still can’t believe you got Bobbie Sink to give you the keys to The Kingdom.”
Ricky smiled, already packing their skates and clothes into a bag.Â
“Sink’s Rink had practically been my home since I was thirteen. Plus, I have a way with people, Lou. ”
She heard a loud burp and smiled.
Lou sighed dramatically, “Yeah, your persistence is one of the things I love about you.”
Ricky laughed and threw the car keys to her girlfriend, “You drive.”
Lou couldn’t help but be shocked every time she saw her best friend, Kitty, with a baby bump.
“Stop looking at me like that Louise. I’m not an alien.”
Lou laughed loudly, “I know you aren’t. I don’t know if that is!”
She pointed to the baby bump and Kitty punched her in her arm.Â
“Well you’re their godmother, so you better love it even if it’s green.”
Lou wrapped her arm around Kitty’s shoulders as they walked into the rink, “Don’t worry I’ll love your Shrek baby.”
Kitty hit Lou so hard she knew she’d have a bruise.Â
God it was good to be back.
First practice was always a disaster and with Ricky leading the team, she realized she might be in a bit over her head.
A lot of the girls were choosing this practice to size one another up and prove their worth.Â
And after the fifth fight of the night, she does something she almost never does.
She screams.
“THAT’S ENOUGH!”
Everyone turns to look at her and her frustration showing on her face is enough for them to stop.
“Everyone sit.”
They slowly drop to the floor, Billy and Josey still glaring at each other.
Ricky was suddenly full of nerves,  but when she saw Lou’s proud smile, she knew she could do this.
“Girls,” she let out a deep breath, “The reason you’re all here is because we know how tough you are. You’re all strong, independent, and ruthless. You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t. You don’t have to prove that to each other. No one is better than the other, and we all take part in the overall success of each other and the team. We protect one another. We look out for one another. We are a family.”
She watched as her words washed over the team. She saw understanding and respect in their eyes as they watched her.Â
“Anyone who doesn’t want that, can leave the rink now.”
No one moved or even dare to get up.Â
Knowing her team finally understood, she put out a hand towards Gena.
Gena grabbed it with a shy smile and Ricky pulled her up and nodded to her in mutual respect.
Then she pulled up Ronni. Then Flo. Then Babe. Then Dani. And each member waited their turn in what, Ricky felt, was their official entry into the team.
She caught Billy and Josey fist bump in a truce and smiled.
She watched them line up - Lou, Kitty and Harry taking lead - like soldiers preparing for a fight and completely in sync.
She smiled and held her whistle poised to blow.
“Chop Stops, ladies. Let’s go!”
As she watched her team follow their guides, fall and get back up, help one another, and ask for help, and give shouts of “flash” and “thunder” to signal change in formation, she knew they were going to kill it this season.Â
She smiled as she saw Lou skating backwards helping Bull and Johnny work with Buck and Don to form a wall, she figured something out that had been bugging her for the past couple of months.
She was in love with Lou.Â
And when Lou caught her eye and gave her a blinding smile and blew her a kiss, she knew Lou was in love with her too.Â
anonymous - thank you thank you thank you. i’ve wanted to do a rule!63 for easy co for sooooo long. thank you!
