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“Well you’re a Dingle aren’t ya? Us Dingles stick together.” Or - the Dingles aren’t as awful as they seem right now.
This started as a shitpost... but somehow turned into a full on fic.Â
I’m still doing the other days of Robert week - this just sort of happened and I wanted to post it.
Realism? What realism?
---
Fourteen... days? (AO3)
“Alright Sugden, time to go.” the guard opening Robert’s cell door said as he walked in. “Pack up and let’s go.”
“What? No, my solicitor said I wasn’t being moved until next week. Please. I haven’t told my family yet. I need more time.” Robert pleaded, feeling panic rise in his chest.
Aaron had come to see him just a few days ago but he hadn’t had the heart to tell him he was being moved miles away to the Isle of man.
“Moved? What are you talking about? You’re getting out mate, you’ve served your time.”
“What? That’s impossible. I got 14 years.”
The guard looked at the papers in his hand.
“You’re Robert Jacob Sugden, born April 22nd 1986?”
“Yes…”
“Well then pack up, you’re getting out of here.”
“But… how?”
“I don’t know mate but according to this you had to serve 14 days and today is day 14… so… let’s go.”
“But… I got life. A minimum of 14 years, no chance of parole… I’m supposed to be transferred to the Isle of Man next week…”
“My guess is that someone, somewhere made a mistake when entering your details into the computer.” The guard shrugged.
“But… when they find out… they’ll take me back, won’t they?”
“You’ve served your time the way it’s in the system. They can’t charge you for the same thing twice.”
“But a man died because of what I did… his family won’t let this lie when they find out.”
“From what I heard a rapist died.” The guard said and gave him a pointed look. “And the worst the family could do is get some people fired. They can’t charge you again.”
“Are… are you sure?”
“Yep. Ask your solicitor. That’s how it works.”
“This can’t be right…”
“Look, mate, you’re getting out. You’re going home. Or don’t you want to see that little lad again?” The guard asked, nodding at the pictures of Seb next to the pillow on Robert’s bed.
“Of course I do.”
“Then pack up and come with me so we can get this sorted. Do you want to call someone to come pick you up?”
“Erm yeah… my erm husband.”
“Well come on then.”
Robert quickly grabbed the pictures of Seb and the few personal belongings he had with him and followed the guard.
“Do you want to get changed out of that uniform first or make the call first?”
“Erm, I think I’d like to get changed first.”
The guard nodded and lead him to the processing offices, the same ones where he’d been brought in two weeks ago.
“Right. Sugden. Here we go. Here are you clothes and everything you had on you when you were brought in.”
Robert took the bag with his clothes and quickly got changed. it felt good to be able to get out of the prison uniform.
“Just leave the clothes in there, I’ll sort that later.” The guard told him. “Do you want to make that phone call now?”
Robert nodded, still not sure what was happening. he dialled Aaron’s number and his heart sped up with every ring.
“Hey this is Aaron, leave a message.”
“Voicemail.”
“Alright. Do you want to call someone else then?”
“I don’t know any other number by heart…” Robert admitted.
“Right. Yeah, I’d tell you to check your phone but it’s probably dead by now.”
“I didn’t have a phone on me… I left it at home…”
The guard nodded.
“Do you want to call a taxi?”
“I erm don’t think I have enough money on me.” Robert said. “I suppose I’ll just get the bus…” He looked at the change he’d just taken out of his pocket.
“I’d give you a lift but my shift doesn’t end for another six hours. I don’t suppose you want to wait that long?”
“Not really no.”
“Thought as much. Sign here to confirm everything is in order and then I’ll walk you out.”
Ten minutes later Robert was standing outside the prison, apparently a free man, and not sure where to go.
He knew Hotten well enough but never paid much attention to bus stops or time tables. He decided to just start walking until he found something like a map. Or someone that looked like they knew where to find a bus stop.
In the end it took him only 15 minutes to find a bus stop and then find the right one to take to get to Emmerdale. It turned out Hotten prison was on the same route as Liv’s school and the digital time table told him the Emmerdale express would arrive in 6 minutes.
He kept looking around, expecting prison guards or armed police officers to show up at any moment to drag him back, but the only thing that showed up was the bus. And an old lady he vaguely recognised as someone from Harriet’s church events.
He paid the fare and sat down in the first available seat and spent the whole drive to Emmerdale looking out the window.
When a police van pulled up next to the bus at a red light he nearly had a heart attack, but when the light changed the van drove off and the bus continued its journey like any other day.
Like there wasn’t someone on it that should be in prison for the next 14 years.
“Next stop: Emmerdale village.” the driver announced and Robert looked out the window just in time to see the drive safely through our village sign.
He got off the bus and looked around as the bus drove off. Everything looked the same. Still no police waiting for him to drag him back, no sign of anything like that happening in the near future.
And surprisingly, nobody in the street. Or at least nobody he really knew.
He considered going to see Vic but dismissed that thought pretty quickly. There was only one person he really wanted to see so he made his way to the mill.
The place looked the same, only the plant pot with the aster next to the front door had been knocked over and the spare key underneath it was gone.
That’s when Robert realised he didn’t have his house keys anymore and he actually had to ring the doorbell of his own home.
There was no answer on the intercom but someone buzzed the door open so he walked in. The door to the flat was left ajar and he could hear the sound of the tv.
He pushed the door open and saw Aaron fast asleep on the sofa right away.
“Liv?” He said softly, gingerly walking into the flat like he didn’t live there, like he shouldn’t be there.
“Rob?!” She dumped the plate she was holding in the sink and rushed over to him. “What… what are you doing here? Did you escape? Did they break you out?”
“No… erm apparently I served my time…”
“What? But you got 14 years. I was there, I heard it myself.”
“I know… I don’t know what happened… but the official records said 14 days instead of 14 years… and today is day 14 so they let me out.”
“How is that possible? Who changed the records?”
“I don’t know. I really don’t. But the guard said as far as they’re concerned I’ve served my time… and that they can’t charge me for that again.”
“So this is it? You’re home? For good?”
“I erm… yeah… I think so.” Robert said and looked at Aaron. “How is he really? He said he was fine when he came to see me the other day…”
Liv shook her head.
“He’s a mess. He passed out on the sofa last night after spending the night getting drunk… and that’s basically what he does every night.” She told him. “Only when Seb was here he was a little bit like his old self.”
“Let him sleep for a bit.” Robert decided. “Do you still have my phone here? I need to call my solicitor to make sure this is real.”
“Aaron has it.” Liv said. “He thinks I don’t know but he keeps it on him all day and looks at the pictures on it.”
Robert’s heart broke hearing how much Aaron was hurting without him.
“Use my phone.” Liv offered. “I’ll look up the number.”
About two hours and some stressful phone calls later, Robert’s solicitor had confirmed that according to the official records he had indeed served his time and was a free man again.
“So you’re sure this is it? They’re not going to haul me back there?”
“No. I don’t know what happened but everything checks out legally. All records state 14 days as your sentence.”
“And there is nothing they can do about that?”
“There will probably be an investigation if Lee’s family pushes for it… but that guard was right, they can’t charge you for what happened to him again.”
“So I’m free?”
“Yes… it definitely looks like it.”
“I can’t believe it…”
“Honestly, neither can I… you must have a guardian angel looking out for you somewhere.”
“Yeah…” Robert said, looking at Aaron who was starting to wake up on the sofa. “Well… thanks. For everything. I hope I never need your help again.”
“I hope so too. Enjoy your life, Robert.” His solicitor said and hung up.
“Oh it lives.” Liv said sarcastically as Aaron sat up and rubbed his head.
“Shut up Liv.” He mumbled without looking at her.
“I have a surprise for you.”
“I’m not interested.”
“No I think you’re going to like this surprise. It’s a good one.”
“Liv I told you, I’m not interested in whatever you – Robert?” Aaron said when he turned around and saw Robert sitting at their kitchen table. “I’m still drunk aren’t I?”
“Maybe. But I’m home. For good.” Robert said, getting up and walking over to the sofa.
“But… how? This isn’t possible.”
“I don’t know how… but it all checks out legally. I just called my solicitor. He checked everything. It’s real. I’m home.”
It took Aaron’s hungover head a second to process what Robert was saying but then grabbed him and wrapped his arms around him.
“I’ve missed you so much.”
“I missed you too. More than you know.” Robert whispered as he hid his face in the crook of Aaron’s neck.
“I’ll leave you guys to it. I promised Chas I’d stop by to see Eve and help with the baby shower preparations.” Liv said, grabbing her bag.
“Eve?” Robert asked, confused, pulling back slightly to look back and forth between Aaron and Liv.
“Oh… right. I didn’t tell you… Mum and Paddy had a girl. Her name is Eve.” Aaron explained.
“And they’re having a baby shower type of thing for her on Saturday.” Liv added.
“They are?” Aaron asked her.
“You were there when she told us! You said you’d be there!”
Aaron shrugged.
“I haven’t really been paying attention…”
“Well maybe we should all go.” Robert suggested. “I’d like to meet my new sister in law.”
“Really? You want to go to the pub now?” Aaron asked.
“Why not? Apparently I’m a free man so there is no reason why I can’t have a drink with my husband in my local and meet the newest member of our family.” Robert said and pressed a kiss to Aaron’s lips. “But first you need a shower because you smell like a brewery.”
Aaron showered and changed in record time and the three of them made the short trip to the pub.
Somehow none of the Dingles were around, and the only person they saw was a confused looking Eric who waved at them in passing.
“You ready for the madness?” Aaron asked Robert, pausing by the pub’s front door.
“Never been more ready…” Robert said and pushed the door open.
The pub was quiet. Chas and Charity both behind the bar, Cain scowling into a pint, and Ryan sat at a table, typing on his laptop.
“Hello Robert.” Chas greeted him when she saw him. Completely calm and happy, like her son in law wasn’t supposed to still be in prison.
“Er…hi… Chas…”
“It’s good to see you love. Sorry I wasn’t there at the sentencing.”
“It’s… it’s fine… you’d uhm… just had a baby…” Robert stammered, confused at the lack of reaction from her.
Chas smiled.
“Yeah my little Evie. Do you want to meet her? She’s your sister too after all.”
“Wait. Can someone tell me what’s going on here?” Aaron said, looking at his mother. “He’s supposed to still be in prison for the next fourteen years and you’re acting like he’s only popped down to Tesco.”
“Nothing is going on, love.” Chas said sweetly.
“You two just enjoy being together again, eh?” Cain told him.
“But… it’s not possible that I’m out. It shouldn’t be possible.”
Cain shrugged and sipped his pint.
“Nothing is impossible.”
“Especially not when you know the right people.” Charity added. “With the right skills.” She said and quickly glanced at Ryan who grinned back at her.
“Wait… did you do this?”
“Do what?” Charity asked innocently.
“Get me released after 14 days instead of 14 years?”
“No. What gave you that idea? I wouldn’t even know how.”
“You’re all in on it aren’t you?” Aaron said, looking at his relatives one by one.
“Not me.” Liv said, holding her hands up in defence. “I’m just as surprised as you are.”
“You… you hacked the prison system?” Robert asked, looking at Ryan.
“Of course not. That would be illegal.”
“Look he was miserable without you and from what Liv told me the same applied to you.” Chas snapped. “What kind of family would we be if we didn’t do everything we could to help?”
“By forging legal documents?”
“Nothing is forged.” Cain said, sounding somewhat offended. “Everything is legal. All original documents.”
“Did you just admit- You know what? No. Never mind. I didn’t hear anything.”
“Good lad.”
“I just… can’t believe what you all did… I mean… didn’t… do for me.”
“Well you’re a Dingle aren’t ya? Us Dingles stick together.” Charity said as Chas put two pints on the bar and an orange juice for Liv.
When Robert Sugden is told he’ll need to teach a single guy how to cook a romantic meal for his next video, he’s less than thrilled about it. But when Aaron Dingle turns out to be fit and funny, Robert learns that life can have a recipe of it’s own.
Robert put his hands on his hips and looked at the wall in front of him. Or rather, his mural. Or rather, what used to be his mural.
“Robert Sugden, drop that spray can. How many times do we have to do this?” A tired and annoyed voice said and made him turn around, only to see PC Swirling walking up to him.
“I didn’t do anything!”
“Sure. So if I were to look in your bag, I wouldn’t find any paint? And that spray can in your hand… isn’t yours? You just found it?”
“Well… no… but I didn’t do this. Well… I did… but… I had permission! And someone painted over it. And I was going to fix it.”
“You have permission?” Swirling sighed. “Who from?”
“Paddy! The vet who owns this place. He said I could do a mural to brighten it up and promote the business.”
“Paddy Kirk?”
“Yes.”
“Alright. Let’s go ask him then.”
“We… we can’t.”
“And why is that?”
“He’s at a conference in Germany. He left yesterday and won’t be back for another week…”
“And I don’t suppose you have a number for him in Germany?”
Robert shook his head.
PC Swirling sighed again.
“Alright, come on. You know the drill by now. We’ll call your parents from the station.”
“But I didn’t do anything!” Robert protested and reluctantly followed PC Swirling to his car.
“And I suppose you didn’t paint anything on the pub either? And the church?”
“The church was years ago! And it was just one time.”
“You’re going to have to be more careful kid, it’s not going to stay a slap on the wrists forever.” Swirling said and opened the car door for Robert and let him get in.
“I paid the fine for the church, didn’t I?”
“You mean your parents did.” Swirling noted as he got behind the wheel and started the car. “Put your seatbelt on.”
“Trust me, my dad made me pay it all back.”
“He probably thought you’d learn from it.” Swirling said, turning onto the main road out of the village.
Robert rolled his eyes and crossed his arms in front of his chest. It wasn’t the first time he was in the back of PC Swirling’s patrol car and it probably wouldn’t be the last, but this time he hadn’t actually done anything.
He was sure though Jack wouldn’t believe him and he’d be grounded for the foreseeable when he found out.
When they got to the station, PC Swirling put him in an interview room instead of the holding cell he’d gotten to know a little too well over the years and PC Pierce got him a cup of tea.
“Any chance of a biscuit?” Robert tried, knowing the PC was one of the good guys. “I mean I get a last meal right?”
PC Pierce laughed.
“You’re not on death row, mate. But someone had a birthday today, I’ll see what’s left.”
About ten minutes later Swirling came back into the room.
“Looks like you’re in luck. I talked to your mum and she’s on her way to pick you up.”
“So I’m free to go?”
“After you’ve answered some questions.” PC Swirling said and sat down. “What were you doing when I picked you up?”
“Nothing.” Robert shrugged then rolled his eyes when the look on Swirling’s face told him he didn’t believe him. “I know how it looks ok? But I didn’t do it.”
“So why did you have the paint in your bag?”
“You looked through my bag? You had no right!”
“I had to make sure you didn’t have any weapons in there.” Swirling told him. “Why did your have those spray cans on you?”
“I always have them on me. For when inspiration strikes.”
“On the wall of a veterinary practise?”
“I had permission. And I only paint private property these days otherwise. On our farm.”
Swirling sighed.
“I believe you, kid, I do. But someone called in a complaint about graffiti in the village and I saw you standing there with the paint in your hand.”
“So? I wasn’t using it.”
“Do you know who did?”
“What? Who painted over my mural?” Robert asked and Swirling nodded. “No. No idea. It could’ve been anyone.”
“So you didn’t recognise the style or anything like that?” Swirling tried.
“Nope. No clue.”
“You’re not protecting a mate are you? Just tell me what you know and you won’t get in trouble.”
“I don’t know anything. And even if I did, why would I tell you and get someone else in trouble?”
Swirling rubbed his temples.
“Alright. Suit yourself.” He got up. “I’ll go see if your mum is here yet and write up an incident report. You’re probably looking at community service because this is the… I don’t know how many-eth time I’ve had to pick you up.”
Robert shrugged.
“Paddy won’t press charges.”
Swirling shook his head and opened the door, almost running right into PC Pierce.
“Oh! Er Sarah Sugden is at the front desk.” He stepped aside to let Swirling pass. “Here.” He told Robert, handing him a napkin with something folded into it. “The cake was gone but there were some brownies left.”
“I assure you Mrs Sugden, your son is fine.” Robert heard Swirling tell his mother as he was lead out to the front desk.
“Are you charging him with anything?”
“I caught him with a can of spray paint in his hands in front of a wall that had been vandalised.”
“Yes, so you said on the phone. But did you see him do anything?”
“No but I - ”
“Then we’re done here and I’d like to take my son home now.” Sarah said, using the same tone of voice she used at her three kids whenever she was angry with them. “Robert come on.” She said when she saw her son.
“They have my bag.”
“Could you give my son his bag back please?”
A few minutes of back and forth and Sarah signing what she needed to later, they were on their way back home.
“Did you tell dad?” Robert asked quietly.
“He’s not home. He and Andy went to that cattle market up north, remember? It’s just the three of us for tea tonight.”
“Right, right… Are you going to tell him when he gets home?”
“Tell him what? You didn’t do anything, did you?”
“No…”
Sarah quickly glanced sideways at her son.
“Robert…” She warned him.
“I didn’t do it!”
“But you know who did?” Sarah guessed.
“Maybe…”
“Then why didn’t you tell the police?”
“It’s complicated, alright mum? Just drop it, please.”
“Is it a mate?”
“Mum… please don’t make me say it…”
“I hope they appreciate you getting in trouble for them.”
“It’s fine. When Paddy comes back he’ll sort it.”
“Just… try not to get yourself arrested again, alright?” Sarah said and parked the car in front of the farm.
“I’ll do my best.” Robert promised and got out of the car, following his mother inside
“Did you get arrested again?” Robert’s sister Victoria asked when he walked into the kitchen.
“Are you doing your homework on a Friday?” Robert asked instead of answering his sister.
Victoria shrugged.
“It’s not much and this way I’ll have the whole weekend to do what I want.”
“You know Robert thinks he’s not allowed to do his homework until bedtime Sunday night.” Sarah teased.
“You mean I have my priorities in order.” Robert said and checked his phone for messages. “Mum do you mind if I go out for a bit? I’ll be back in time for tea.”
“Sure. Off you go.”
“Don’t get arrested!” Victoria called out as Robert grabbed his bag and walked out the door.
He wanted to talk to someone and he knew exactly where to find them.
An old abandoned farm just down the road from his home. He smiled to himself when he got there and saw he’d been right.
“Aaron Dingle, this is the police! Drop that spray can right now!” Robert yelled and laughed when the other boy jumped, dropped the spray can and prepared to run, before noticing it was Robert instead of the police.
“Bastard! You scared me half to death!”
“Serves you right.” Robert said and walked up to Aaron and kissed him hello. “I’m arresting you for vandalising your boyfriend’s mural and getting him arrested.”
“What? How did you know it was me?” Aaron asked.
“Are you kidding? I know your work when I see it. You might as well sign your name on it.”
Aaron raised an eyebrow.
“Oh yeah? What is it that stands out so much then?”
“It’s dark, you use a lot of black, and then you make the red pop. And you always sign it in blue. That little thing that looks like a paw print. You shouldn’t do that if you don’t want the police figuring it out by the way. They’re not as stupid as they seem.” Robert told him. “What? What’s that look?”
“Nothing. I just didn’t know you’d studied my art like that.”
Robert shrugged.
“I wanted to find the twat was destroying my work.”
“I wasn’t destroying it, I was improving it.”
“Improving it by painting over it?” Robert asked amused.
“Not completely.” Aaron argued and sat down with his back against the wall. “Did you get in a lot of trouble with your dad?”
Robert shook his head and sat down next to him.
“He’s taken Andy to some cattle market, they won’t be back until tomorrow. My mum picked me up. She said she wouldn’t tell him.”
Aaron nodded.
“Good. And the police?”
“They can’t prove anything. And Paddy will fix it when he’s back.”
“I can ask my mum if she has a number for him in Germany…” Aaron offered.
“It’s fine. I just have to keep my head down for a bit.”
“Yeah? You can give me your paint then, since you won’t be using it.”
Robert laughed.
“You wish. I have an idea for something big. Maybe we could do it together.” He said and dug through his pockets. “I made a sketch the other day… Got it!” He held out a folded up piece of paper and Aaron took it and spread it out on the ground in front of them.
“This looks interesting.” He said, studying Robert’s design. “Good interesting. It’s going to be massive though with all this detail.”
“I know. But it’ll be cool, don’t you think?”
Aaron nodded.
“Yeah but where did you want to put it? It’s huge, you’re going to need lots of free space.”
“I think the wall of the old barn would be big enough.”
“What? Here? But who would see it here? Nobody comes up here.”
“I know. I kind of made it for us. Just for you and me.”
“Really?” Aaron asked, a smile creeping onto his face. “Soft lad.”
Robert shrugged and leaned in to kiss Aaron again.
Politics AU - Robert’s hook up turns out to work for his and Nicola’s political opponent
---
Robert was hungover. Very hungover. Even if the night before had been more than worth it, he wished he could turn around and go home and crawl back into bed.
But if he did that Nicola would probably drag him back to the office herself.
So instead he took another sip of his coffee and winced as he took off his sunglasses and put them in his pocket.
“Robert, Nicola is looking for you. She’s in her office and she’s not happy.” Priya, one of his colleagues, warned him.
“Is she ever?” Robert sighed. “What did Jimmy do this time to piss her off?”
“I don’t know, but if there’s ever a time to smile and nod and tell her she’s right about everything, it’s today.”
“So what else is new?”
“Just giving you a heads up.” Priya told him, then paused to take a good look at him. “Weren’t you wearing that outfit yesterday too?”
“I better go in and see Nicola.” Robert said instead of answering her question.
He walked to Nicola’s office and mentally braced himself for the yelling that would probably follow.
“You wanted to see me?” he said sweetly when he walked into her office.
“Well actually I wanted to kill you but that would be bad for my campaign.”
“Lucky me then that you’re running for office.” Robert joked but Nicola’s face was still set to murder. “Anyway, what’s up?” he asked.
“This.” She said pointing at a newspaper on her desk. “What the hell is this?”
“That’s what we call a newspaper.” Robert said, “It’s what people read to find out what’s happening in the world.”
“Don’t get cute with me, Robert. You know damn well what I mean.”
“No I don’t. What did the tabloids print about you this time? Or did Charity Dingle say something about you?”
“Oh no it’s not about me. They’ve found a much more interesting subject to write about.”
“Yeah? What’s that then?”
“Look!” she shoved the paper in his face “This isn’t happening. Please tell me that’s your long lost twin.”
Robert looked at the paper and saw pictures of himself from last night.
Pictures of himself in a gay bar he’d gone to with some of the campaign staff to blow off some steam, and pictures of himself and one guy in particular. In the bar, kissing and laughing, and in the alley behind the bar, doing other stuff that he was glad the paparazzo hadn’t been able to get a clear picture of.
Even though it was obvious what they were doing.
“Sleeping with the enemy.” Robert read aloud. “That’s a bit dramatic isn’t it?”
“Dramatic? Do you have any idea who that guy is, Robert?”
“Uhm… his name is Aaron… I think.” Robert said and checked his phone where he’d saved a picture of the guy with his name as the caption. “Yep. Definitely Aaron.”
“Last name?”
“I don’t know Nicola, we didn’t quite get around to telling each other our entire family history.” Robert said exasperated. “We were kind of busy doing other things.” He added with a grin.
“You’re unbelievable.”
“That’s what he said last night.”
Nicola gave him a death stare.
“Are you going to meet up with him again?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. Hopefully.”
“You can’t.”
“What? Since when do you get any say in that?”
“Since that’s Aaron DINGLE, Robert. Charity Dingle’s nephew or whatever. He works for her!”
“Oh.”
“Yes. Oh.” Nicola let out a frustrated grunt. “I should just sack you as damage control.”
“You wouldn’t. You need me.”
“Like a hole in the head.” Nicola deadpanned. “I should promote Priya and sack you.” She muttered. “Did he say anything about Charity or the campaign? Or our campaign?”
“No. I know it’s hard to imagine for you but not everyone spends their every waking hour thinking and talking about the great Nicola King.”
“Yeah and you slept with your sister in law. Which the papers loved of course.”
“Well then at least it made someone happy.”
“Oh she wasn’t good enough for you? You cost me my seat on the council last time with that stunt!” Nicola yelled.
“I was bored, she wanted to make her boyfriend jealous. Didn’t work out.” Robert shrugged. “But aren’t the latest numbers in your favour?”
“Not in every district. I need Nora and Helen on side and they both fancy you. For reasons unknown…”
“What, you want me to go seduce them or something?”
“Well that’s not going to work anymore now is it? Now the whole country knows you’re gay.”
“I’m not gay, I’m bi.” Robert corrected her. “And I very much doubt anyone cares about the campaign manager of some random woman running for a place on the local council.”
“I need to win this time ok, Robert? I am not losing to Charity Dingle again.” Nicola went on, ignoring Robert. “I mean I’m already behind because she’s a lesbian and her wife is a vet. I can’t compete with that can I? A lesbian lover and cute, fluffy bunnies!” She ranted.
“I’m pretty sure she’s bi, not gay.”
“Same thing!” Nicola yelled, frustrated. “Wait. How do you know that? Did Aaron tell you that?”
“No. We didn’t talk much at all, let alone about that.” Robert told her. “But she was at pride last summer waving a bi pride flag.”
“She was? How do you know?”
“I was there. And it was in the paper.” Robert shrugged. “The same one you’ve just thrown in my face.”
Nicola looked at the paper on her desk again and Robert could see the cogs turning in her head.
“I need the gays to like me too. I need the gay vote.”
“And how do you plan on doing that?” Robert sighed.
“I don’t know… I need you to find out what Charity Dingle is doing to make the gays like her. Call Aaron, go out with him again, see what you can find out!”
“Oh I can go out with him again now? Ten minutes ago I wasn’t allowed to see him again.”
“If you’re going to shag Aaron bloody Dingle in some dodgy alley, you better make it worth my while.”
“I have to make my sex life worth your while?” Robert said laughingly. “I thought we’d put that behind us a long time ago?”
Nicola glared at him.
“We all make mistakes. Now go call Aaron and see what you can find out from him about Charity.”
“What if I don’t like him? What if I just used him to get to his mate?”
“Tough! Do as you’re told for once!”
Robert rolled his eyes and grabbed the paper off Nicola’s desk.
“What do you want with that?”
“Frame it and send it to my mother for Christmas.” Robert said sarcastically and laughed to himself when he heard Nicola call him every swear word she knew.
He loved his job, he loved the attention and being able to play with people’s opinion to make them vote in their favour, but sometimes he loved winding up Nicola even more.
After a quick stop off at the office kitchen to get himself some more coffee, he settled in a quiet corner to take a good look at the pictures. They really weren’t the most flattering and there really wasn’t any doubt as to what they were doing in the alley, but he couldn’t bring himself to care much.
Not when he saw the way Aaron was looking at him in those pictures.
He got his phone out and snapped a picture of the paper and sent it to Aaron.
Looks like we’re famous now.
The reply came almost instantly.
- Looks like it. What will we do with this new found fame?
Robert smiled at his phone.
I don’t know. Maybe we should discuss it over lunch?
- Alright. Your place or mine?
I didn’t mean that kind of lunch, but I guess I can be persuaded ;)
- Later. I do need to eat. I know a good place. 12.30 ok?
Robert decided to stay in his hiding place and got his laptop out of his bag to try get some work done. Only his mind kept drifting back to the night before and he ended up searching the internet for more pictures of the two of them. He found a few more on the tabloid’s website and the club’s Facebook page.
Some of the comments under the tabloid article were the standard shocked housewives who complained the paper shouldn’t post those kind of pictures, as well as a few homophobes, but nothing too interesting.
Facebook was a lot of eggplant emojis and some comments on how they’d clearly enjoyed themselves. No mention of Nicola or his connection to her campaign. Or Aaron’s connection to Charity’s.
The rest of the morning went by quickly and thankfully his hangover was starting to subside by the time he left the office to go meet Aaron for lunch.
“Hey.” Robert said, walking up to them. “I haven’t kept you waiting, have I?”
“No, no, it’s fine. I just got here.” Aaron told him. “I was just trying to convince Ellis to give us a free lunch because he’s a good friend and friends look after each other.”
“Yeah and I told him he can just pay like everyone else.” Ellis said and patted Aaron’s shoulder before walking away.
“Do you want to get a table?” Robert asked and Aaron nodded and they sat down at the nearest free table.
“So you saw the paper then.” Aaron stated.
“Yeah. Nicola shoved it in my face this morning. And yelled at me for sleeping with the enemy.”
“Ouch.”
“It’s alright. She yells at me a lot… it’s kind of our thing.” Robert explained. “I do something she doesn’t like, she yells at me and threatens to sack me, or actually does sack me, I stay out of her way for a few hours and we go on like nothing happened.”
Aaron laughed.
“Interesting dynamic.”
“What’s it like working for Charity Dingle then?”
“I don’t really work for her to be honest. I just get dragged into it from time to time.” Aaron told him. “She’s my mum’s cousin and well, they’re Dingles so they’re all about family, you know.”
Robert nodded.
“Nicola hates that about her. She’s been trying to get the perfect white picket fence, 2.5 kids, and a Labrador thing going for years but it’s not really working out.”
“And what about you? Any white picket fences in your near future?”
Robert leaned forward on the table a little.
“Not right now… but never say never. When the right person comes along… sure. But right now, I’m just enjoying being single.”
“And going home with blokes you just met in a club.”
“And enjoying it thoroughly.”
A waitress stopped by their table to take their order and came back with their food in record time.
“It helps when you know the owner.” Aaron said with grin.
“Obviously. I think I should keep hanging out with you. It’s got it’s perks.”
They kept flirting as they ate and Robert was ready to sack of work for the rest of the week and just spend it with Aaron. Preferably wearing a lot less clothing than they were now.
“Charity lost her shit over the paper this morning.” Aaron said. “Told me to stay away from anyone that works for the snake.” He added laughingly.
“I’m glad you don’t listen to her then.”
“It’s kind of exciting isn’t it? Sneaking around.”
“Forbidden love.” Robert agreed. “Romeo and… erm… Romeo”
Aaron laughed
“How about just Robert and Aaron?”
Robert smiled.
“That sounds pretty good to me.”
“What are you doing the rest of the day?” Aaron asked after a minute.
“Nothing that can’t wait.”
“I was hoping you’d say that. Do you want to get out of here?”
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