#rss 2019

The gust of wind pushed at the petite woman, nearly knocking her over as she entered. Belle slammed the door shut with both hands and stood in front of it, dripping wet and trying to pull wet strands of her brown hair out of her eyes. Her light blue rain coat had blown open and the pretty spring dress she wore underneath was soaked. In a mere moment there was a puddle on the floor and she was apologizing profusely for bringing in all the rain water. Gold grabbed a clean and dry towel from the cabinet behind him and went over and handed it to her. He took care not to place his cane on the wet floor, for fear of slipping. “Don’t worry yourself. It’s not a day to be outside!” he reassured her and offered her his arm. She took it with a grateful expression and he led her inside the shop.

“It was lovely before. I was walking on the pier and stopped to talk to someone, and before you knew it the clouds had come in,” she said as she attempted to dry herself off next to the counter. “By the time I came back onto Main Street my umbrella had broken and blown away! Oh look at me, I’m a mess.” Emotion was creeping into her voice. Perhaps she was a bit embarrassed. She needn’t have been. She was always lovely.

“There, there. Come inside the back room. I have more dry towels and you can choose any of the clothes in the shop. Free of charge. I even have a hair dryer in here. I’ll make us some tea and you can ride out the storm in here.”

Before long she had on some dry clothes and dried her hair and was settled in, sitting across the counter from him and sipping her hot tea. “Mmm, I haven’t had Earl Grey in a while,” she said. “Thank you.”

He nodded and sipped his own cup of tea. They made pleasant small talk, and chatted about various goings on in the town.

“You know, I have decided that people have got you all wrong.”

He chuckled. “Oh? Do tell.”

Instead of going on about what the townsfolk thought of him she looked at him with an honest expression and stated, “Well I won’t say what they think, but I think you’re quite kind. Thank you again for helping me out this afternoon.” She reached out and touched his hand lightly. 

“It was no trouble.” He couldn’t think of what else to say. She was the one who was being kind by not mentioning what the townsfolk thought of him. Some just thought him cold, others mean, and others were plain afraid of him. He was a landlord to many, and more than a few people would come into the shop to pawn their things. He was never a social butterfly, but he knew he had become cold and distant since Milah moved away and took their son with her. It had been five years and he only saw his son twice a year. He was heartbroken, and lonely, but didn’t think there was anything to be done about it.

Belle changed that notion. The next day she arrived around noon with a picnic basket full of food for lunch that they shared for an hour, before she had to return to the library where she worked. She said it was to thank him for his kindness, but they had a lovely time. He enjoyed her company, and she must have enjoyed his because she arrived with lunch once again the following day.  It became a daily occurrence. Every day except Sundays when his shop and the library were closed. She didn’t work on Saturdays yet she arrived for lunch. Sometimes he would provide the food items, and other days she would bring something for them to share. 

Part of him didn’t think that she could possibly be interested in him in any other way except in friendship. He was divorced, with a child already, and much older than she was. He was in his late forties while she had just turned 30. He’d walked in on her birthday gathering at Granny’s earlier that year while he was out collecting rent. He was hardly the ideal partner for someone such as herself. Not to mention that he had a bad ankle and wasn’t able to walk without his cane. Meanwhile, she was beautiful, younger, smarter, friendlier, and there were plenty of younger men in town that would be interested. Yet she spent time with him every day, and he felt that there was a good connection between them. It was something he had never quite felt before.

It would take him two months to finally work up the nerve to ask her over for dinner. He was a good cook, and she agreed that she always enjoyed the lunches that he prepared, some of which were leftovers from the night before. She agreed and came over for dinner one evening in August, and it was morning when he drove her home to her apartment above the library. He had gone and opened up his shop in somewhat of a daze, wondering if it had all been a dream. They had been seeing each other ever since. Belle had even taken to calling him her boyfriend. Imagine that?

The little bell above the front door chimed, and there was the person that had so occupied his thoughts these last few months. Belle was holding the door open with her back and pulling in a medium sized soft sided red wagon. She was dressed for the cold, with a woolen grey coat and hat and boots. She pulled the wagon inside and closed the door behind her. Gold felt the gust of cold wind just at that moment and shivered. 

“It’s so warm in here! Thank goodness!” she exclaimed as she pulled her hat and gloves off. “I bought us lunch from Grannys, and I have a Christmas wreath for your shop and for the house. I already dropped the others off at the Library and at Grannys. Father sends his regards, by the way. He decorated the wreaths extra pretty this year.” She held one up for his approval. It was decorated with a big red ribbon, little red and green gifts, holly, and frosted pine cones.

“It’s very fine,” he said, and smirked. “However, I very much doubt your father sent his regards.”

She placed the wreath on the side counter and pulled the cart to the side. She grabbed the bag from Grannys and came over to him. “Well it was more like a grumble, followed by your name, followed by a grumble. Maybe a swear word or two.” 

“Now that’s more like it,” he responded. Needless to say, her father did not approve.

She came around behind the counter and placed the lunch on top of it. “Well he’s also not happy that I’m staying in Storybrooke and not going with him to visit my aunties in Boston. I’ll be seeing them when they visit in the spring. I’d much rather spend the holidays with you.” She put her arms around his neck. Her coat was freezing.

“You need to take this thing off before it turns me into a popsicle,” he said, and started undoing the buttons of her coat for her.

“Shouldn’t you be used to the cold weather, Mr. Scotsman living in Maine?” she teased as she looked up at him with her blue eyes. He looked back smugly as he undid the buttons.

He helped her take her coat off and draped it around the chair, wasting no time in putting his arms around her and pulling her close. “I do just fine in the cold weather, but I would rather be close to you like this instead of that big old frozen coat.”

“Hey, I happen to like that coat. It was a gift from a very handsome man I know.” She lifted up on her toes and kissed him gently on the lips.

He was caught off guard for a moment because he was the one that had given her that coat. He was always surprised to hear these kinds of words about him. She saw him much differently than he saw himself, that was certain.

“If we continue like this much longer lunch is going to get cold,” she said, in a reluctant tone, and disengaged from his embrace. She started setting out their lunch. “Raymond would you mind if we had brunch at Granny’s tomorrow instead of lunch here?”

“That would be very nice, actually. I look forward to it.” He grinned at her as she set the hot soup in front of him. Perfect for the blustery day.

“Great, I promised Granny and Ruby I would help them decorate early in the morning. Remember I told you how it was my mission this year to help anyone with decorations that needed it? This town is so quaint and beautiful that I think it needs to be as festive as early as possible. It’ll bring in more business for everyone, and it’ll just be lovely! Oh! And I was talking with David Nolan earlier. He was saying how he wished he had some extra help at the animal shelter, to make sure the animals feel cared for and loved this time of year, and he needs help with potential adoptions… Anyway, I told him I would be glad to help. So if you’re ever looking for me in the late afternoons I might be over there helping him.”

She was a whirlwind of excitement this afternoon. “That’s all very kind of you Belle. That’s why everyone loves you, unlike my grumpy self.” He grinned and said it half in jest, but it was true that much of the townsfolk didn’t like him. He didn’t have any real friends.

“Oh stop. You’ve been friendly.”

“Thanks to you it somehow happens at times,” he said with a laugh.

“It does!” she insisted. “David likes you! And Ruby too! She just told me how much more personable you’ve been lately. And Mary Margaret invited us over for the Nolans Christmas Eve party. I hope you’ll want to go with me.”

“Of course,” he reached out and squeezed her hand. “You also said you’d like to help me decorate the house. How does this weekend sound? I’ll close the shop on Saturday. You can spend the weekend with me… if you like.”

She smiled brightly at him. “Yes! On one condition.”

He raised an eyebrow, just as he was filled with joy at her immediate acceptance. They’d never spent a weekend together before.

“We do the same for Christmas and New Year’s weekend. I can’t think of a better way to spend it than cozying up at home with you.”

He was certain he was dreaming, but he nodded in response, because he didn’t trust that words would actually come out of his mouth.

They finished lunch and set out to quickly decorate the shop. She found an old radio and tuned it to a holiday station. They put the wreath on the door, he put the menorah in front of the window, and they placed garland and colored lights around the shop. He also took some time to finish polishing the pocket watch. He handed the watch and the box to her. “What do you think?”

“It looks amazing. Father is going to love it. I’m going to make sure to mention how much care and work you put into it.” 

“He’s going to love it because it’s coming from you.” He was pretty sure that it wouldn’t make much of a difference in how the man thought of him.

*****

The next day he arrived at Granny’s for brunch. The wreath Belle had brought for the diner hung on the door as he opened it. There was garland all along the windows, and lights wrapped around the garland. It had the desired festive effect. 

He scanned the diner for Belle as he stepped inside. It didn’t take long for him to find her. She was perched on top of a ladder placing lights along the top of the windowsill in the back of the diner. She was laughing at something David Nolan said. David was steadying the ladder and handing her the remainder of the lights. She wobbled slightly and he steadied her more securely by holding onto the ladder and placing a hand at the small of her back. 

Raymond Gold felt his entire body tense. At first it was with worry when he saw Belle unsteady on the ladder, and then it was with a twinge of jealousy. He tried to shake it away, but he couldn’t help but feel it. David Nolan was tall, very handsome, very friendly, outgoing, and was with his second wife in less than two years, who was also pregnant with his child. If it wasn’t for that last fact, he would be just the kind of man that Belle should have in her life. She obviously seemed to enjoy his company. They were both smiling and chatting and having a grand time. He had to will himself to move instead of keeping himself standing near the doorway clenching his fists. He was aware that several people, including Granny greeted him, but he said nothing in return. He didn’t even look at them. He kept his eyes on Belle and David as he approached them.

“There!” Belle said, brightly. “All done!” She began an attempt to descend. 

“Looks great, Belle!” David said as he reached up to take Belle’s hand.

Before Gold even knew what he was doing he had stepped up to them and placed his cane right on top of David’s foot, and leaned down hard on it.

David shouted and pulled his foot from under the cane. He hopped on one foot for a moment, and Gold took that time to reach out for Belle to take his hand instead. “Oh I’m so sorry, Mr. Nolan. Are you all right?” 

Belle hopped down off of the ladder. “Oh no, David.”

David waved his arms at them. “It’s OK. It’s OK. Just my big clumsy feet getting in the way as usual!” He laughed through gritted teeth and Gold smirked in satisfaction.

“Yes, it’s a wonder you’ve had two different women in your life in such a short time…” muttered Gold under his breath.

“Raymond!” Belle chided him, quietly and nudged his ribs. David was busy rubbing his foot and apparently didn’t hear.

“I have some ice if you need it!” Granny called from behind the counter as she served a plate to a customer. 

David laughed it off and limped off toward the door. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll see you later, Belle. I have to get to work. Goodbye Mr. Gold.”

“Take care, Mr. Nolan. Again, I’m terribly sorry about your foot.” Gold responded, only half sincere.

“Bye David. See you later. Raymond, why don’t you get us a table while Ruby and I take this ladder to the back.”

“Of course, sweetheart,” Gold smiled to himself and went off to see if their favorite booth was free.

*****

That Friday Belle waited outside the Storybrooke Library with a packed bag for the weekend. Raymond picked her up in his black Cadillac sedan. That evening they made their favorite pasta dish, and once the dishes were in the dishwasher, and the table was cleared, they set out to decorate the house for Christmas. They tackled outdoors first. Bundled up for the cold they went around and placed the lights on the hedges and shrubbery around the house. 

“Oh my, it’s cold out there!” Belle exclaimed as they rushed back inside. It took them a little longer than expected and the temperature had dropped significantly once the sun had set. She was dressed warmly enough, but even so she felt chilled. She took off her coat and handed it to Raymond to put away.

Raymond took his own coat off and placed it on the rack. “I’ll make us some tea to warm us up… or hot chocolate?” 

“Actually hot chocolate does sound good! I’ll get started on these lights.” She dropped onto the couch and grabbed the first batch. These were to go on the windows inside, and on the tree. She hoped that Raymond would enjoy the house this way. He said he hadn’t bothered to decorate since the last time his son stayed with him for the holidays.

By the time he returned she had untangled two light sets and was onto the third. He placed the tray of hot chocolate and cookies on the table. The cups were steaming and as she expected, he made sure to add the marshmallows. He had said that it was a favorite of his and his son’s. It was something that the three of them had in common, she thought with a smile.

Raymond was about to sit down with her when the phone rang. He sighed audibly. “Who could it be at this time? Excuse me, please.”

“Don’t worry about me. I have cookies.” He grinned and she watched him head back to the kitchen. She loved his smile. She was quite pleased with herself whenever she got him to exercise those dimples.

The hot chocolate was still steaming so she did indeed nibble on a cookie. The lights could wait a little bit. She settled back into the couch and looked around the house. She wondered if there was mistletoe in those boxes to hang up somewhere. Where would the best place be? Catching him off guard might be fun. She pondered this for a bit, and then she heard Raymond laughing gently in the other room. That got her attention and she listened a bit more carefully. She felt a little guilty about trying to make out the conversation, but his tone of voice sounded conspiratorial. This was the second time she had heard him speaking on the phone in this way. Earlier this week she had walked into the shop at lunchtime and overheard the latter part of a conversation. He seemed to hurry off the phone once she arrived as well. He quickly offered that it was a customer, and he looked uncomfortable.

She heard him hang up, and she quickly put down her cookie and picked up her hot chocolate. She took a sip as he walked in.

“Sorry about that,” he said as he sat down next to her. “How’s the hot chocolate?”

“Mmm, it’s good,” she said and licked the chocolate off of her lips. “Who was that on the phone?” She tried to sound innocent, and wasn’t sure if she succeeded.

“Oh! No one important. Just a supplier calling about a part I ordered. The shop was closed so he called here.” He sipped his cup of hot chocolate.

It was a plausible explanation, but his tone of voice… She hated that this worried her, and the unwelcome thought that entered her mind was that perhaps he was speaking to his ex-wife? Could they somehow reconnect? It had been years since the divorce. It couldn’t be possible. Could it?

“Penny for your thoughts,” Raymond said.

“Oh, it’s nothing… just daydreaming,” she didn’t like that she was keeping this feeling from him, but she would surely feel foolish if this was all in her imagination.

“Belle, you can tell me anything you know. Whenever you like,” he said, softly, and the way he looked at her made her suspicions drift away. 

She nodded, and leaned into him. “I guess... I guess I had a bit of a feeling that you’ve been keeping something from me. I know it’s silly…”

“Hey… hey,” he said. He placed his cup on the tray and put his warm hand on her cheek. He tilted her head up to look at him and gently pulled her closer. “It isn’t silly… I am keeping something from you.”

She tried to lean back away from him, but he laughed and she looked at him quizzically. 

“I’m trying to keep your Christmas present a secret!”

“That was about my Christmas present?” 

He laughed, and nodded. “Now don’t you worry, you’ll find out what it is soon enough… that’s if I manage to procure it that is.”

She relaxed in his arms, and he pulled her closer into his embrace. She felt him kiss the top of her head. “I’m sorry I was suspicious.”

“Sweetheart, you have nothing to worry about. I’m quite the boring sort, let me assure you.”

She smiled. “I find you anything but boring. Quite the opposite, actually.” The way he was rubbing her back was taking her mind completely elsewhere. She tugged at his necktie, “Will we be decorating upstairs at all?”

He leaned down and kissed her softly. He tasted of hot chocolate. “I think there’s definitely something we can do upstairs.”

She laughed out loud. “See? I told you. Definitely not boring.”

*****

It was Christmas Eve and he wished he was anywhere but David Nolan’s house. Raymond of course wanted to accompany Belle to the Nolans Christmas Eve party. He just wished David would stay far away from Belle. They had spent nearly every afternoon together at the Animal Shelter for the entire month of December. He visited once, and they had decorated the place, and brought toys and cozy things for the dogs and cats to lay on. Belle said that the animals just needed love, and tried to get as many volunteers to do just that. She had recruited him for that purpose, and he did have a nice time petting dogs and cats for an afternoon. 

Raymond just didn’t like how friendly David had gotten with Belle. He called her fairly often with Animal Shelter updates. She was always so happy to hear from him. He tried very hard not to feel jealous. He knew he was probably making it all up in his head, but he couldn’t help it, especially with David’s history and all.

He sipped at his espresso, careful not to spill any on his three piece suit, and surveyed the Nolan’s living room. It was like half the town was jam packed into this house. Archie and Marco were predictably in a jovial conversation. LeRoy and Ruby were having some kind of drinking contest, and had attracted a bit of an audience. Belle, who was dressed in an elegant dark green velvet dress that Gold highly approved of, was talking with Mary Margaret, who was visibly pregnant and glowing. Mary Margaret was a pleasant woman, and seemed the perfect match for David. If he hadn’t been a little jealous and suspicious of David and his friendly relationship with Belle it would be hard to believe that this match between the Nolans would be anything but solid. 

Just as he had this thought David signaled something to Belle from across the room. She nodded and gave him a little thumbs up. To make matters worse, this little exchange happened just as Mary Margaret had turned to say hello to Ashley and her toddler Alexandra. Surely, he was imagining things. There was probably an innocent explanation. If he wasn’t driving he’d be finding the scotch right about now.

Belle came over. Somehow she was holding little Alexandra with Ashley following right behind her. “Raymond, we were just talking about taking bets about Mary Margaret’s baby. What do you think? Boy or Girl?”

Raymond went with his first thought. “I’m going to say a girl. Put me down for that.” Belle and Ashley laughed. 

“We were thinking the same thing,” Ashley said, and took Alexandra from Belle’s arms. The baby was starting to get fussy. “It’s getting late. Way past her bedtime.”

“You know Raymond, I think I’m about ready to go too. How about you?”

“Yes, I think this coffee is giving me the jitters. I fear I might not be able to sleep tonight.”

“Oh, that might not be such a bad thing.” She winked at him and led him to say their goodbyes to their hosts and a few of the other guests. 

*****

When they returned to Raymond’s home on the outskirts of town, they found a wrapped up Christmas gift on the stoop. Belle watched as Raymond picked up the gift. “This is odd who would…” He read the little card on top, “Happy Christmas, signed Moe French.” 

Belle was amused by his stunned expression. “Well he was very happy with the gift I gave him. I told him how you took extra care in restoring it.”

They walked inside, and Raymond unwrapped the gift. It was a large poinsettia. He inspected the leaves and pulled apart the stems. He looked at Belle and explained, “Checking for listening devices, or explosives…”

Belle frowned at him. “Give me that! Honestly…” she took the plant from him and placed it next to the Christmas tree. 

“Well you can’t blame me,” he said with a shrug.

“I think my father’s grudgingly starting to like you.” She stood back and looked at the tree with the poinsettia next to it and the few presents underneath. “We should take a picture together right here tomorrow morning,” she said. She turned and Raymond had gone to the small bar in the dining room and poured himself a scotch. 

“Belle, I need to talk to you about something.” He took a swig of the drink. This sounded ominous. He poured her a glass of scotch as well. 

She took the offered drink and had a tiny sip. He motioned for her to come sit with him in the dining room. She was getting worried now. 

“I’ve been watching you and David together. You seem to get along very well. All that time at the Animal Shelter and on the phone.”

Belle raised an eyebrow. She didn’t like the sound of this. “He’s a good guy… Raymond, where are you going with this?”

He took another sip, and cleared his throat. “He’s handsome, tall, and all of that, and you’re beautiful…”

“Are you… are you suggesting that we are somehow seeing each other?” she asked, incredulous. Where in the world was this coming from?

His eyes grew wide, but she continued, “Do you honestly believe that I would be having an affair with a married man, whose wife is having his baby, while I’m actually with you?”

Raymond started waving his hands in protest. “No… no, no, not at all!”

“Then what were you saying, Raymond? I mean, I’ve had the thought that you might still have feelings for your ex-wife, but it was silly and fleeting, and I told you when I was feeling insecure…”

“Oh, I assure you, I don’t have feelings for Milah.”

“Fine. What were you getting at about me and David then?” It was her turn to take a swig of the scotch.

Raymond sighed. “Oh Belle, you’re so lovely. You deserve someone more like David. I envy him. We both come from a similar background. We both grew up on a farm, and he became the taller, stronger, handsome, manly type. He’s like a real life Prince Charming. Meanwhile, I got thrown off a horse and injured myself for life. I’m no Prince Charming. I’m more like the town monster, and for some inexplicable reason you are with me. I just think sometimes that I’m just not good enough…”

“Raymond Gold, I have half a mind to grab your gift when it gets here and just go home. What do I need to say or do to convince you that I love you, you silly man. Someone like David is not for me… not for more than friendship. He’s… too bland. I need layers, my love, and you have them.”

He stared at her dumbfounded. She hadn’t said that she loved him before, but it was true, and perhaps this was exactly the time he needed to hear it. However, this didn’t stop her for wanting to make him squirm a bit more for suggesting that she and David were a potential item. “And what about you and those phone calls. Were they really about my present? Is it there under the tree?” She pointed intensely at the tree in the living room.

Raymond breathed a sigh of relief. “Yes, it is. Well there are a few over there, but the one wrapped in gold is the important one.” He got up and took her hand and brought her over to the tree. “Please sit.” She sat down on the couch and waited with a stern expression. She wasn’t terribly angry with him, but she wanted him to stew just a little bit. She understood that he felt a little insecure, but she hoped that she reassured him with her earlier statement.

He handed her the thin box wrapped in gold. “I’m sorry, Belle. Truly. I didn’t mean to upset you. I was being a jealous, insecure idiot.” He sat down next to her, and nudged her with his shoulder. “Forgive me?”

She fought the smile that ended up on her face. “I forgive you.” He kissed her on the cheek and nuzzled her neck. 

“I love you too, you know,” he said, quietly in her ear. She felt warm at hearing those words for the first time. He looked into her eyes. “You can open your gift now.”

She unwrapped it, and opened the box to reveal a small picture frame. The photo inside it was of a smiling boy with tousled brown hair in his early teens. It was Raymond’s son Neal. He held up a large book with the title Her Handsome Hero.

“It’s a picture of Neal, and… my favorite book. Oh he looks so happy. I love it, but I’m not sure that I understand completely.”

Raymond took her hand. “Neal has been the one I’ve been talking to on the phone. He’s been helping me get your present. It’s that rare illustrated copy of Her Handsome Hero that you told me about. He found it in New York. We bought it for you, and he’s going to be bringing it to you himself. He’s arriving on New Year’s Eve. His mother finally let him travel on his own. He’s very excited to meet you.”

Belle felt the tears well up in her eyes. “Oh Raymond, but this is wonderful. So wonderful. I can’t wait. Oh may we call him first thing tomorrow morning to thank him and tell him how much I’m looking forward to meeting him?” 

Raymond nodded, and hugged her tightly. “I have a feeling we both feel a little bit silly about earlier.” Belle laughed and wiped away her tears. She stood up to prop up the picture frame near the tree. They both sat down and looked at it hand in hand.

At that moment the doorbell rang. “What in the world?” Raymond stood up but Belle pulled him back down.

“I’ll get it. It’s your Christmas gift.”

“They make deliveries at this time of night?”

“Well it’s a special delivery.” She opened the door and pulled in the red wagon she had used earlier in the month. Inside was a large box with green holiday wrapping and an open top. She pulled the cart in front of him. “I think we’re going to be glad that Neal is coming for more than one reason. We might need a little bit of help.”

Raymond stared up at her as she pulled out a furry little black and white puppy. Indeed it was one of the puppies he was playing with at the shelter. She put the puppy in his lap. “Belle… I…”

“I know they say that you shouldn’t give puppies as gifts, but you talk about the sheepdogs you had as a kid with such love. And you seemed to have such a connection with this puppy. David and I kept talking about it, and that’s why he kept calling, by the way. Aaand David was the one that just dropped him off.”

She saw Raymond deflate a bit in realization, but the puppy made him smile immediately after.

“I just had to bring him for you. I filled out all the adoption paperwork. I’ll keep him if you don’t want him, but I can come over as much as you want to help out. Even stay over as much as you want.” She hoped it wasn’t an unwelcome hint. Perhaps it was a bit fast to suggest a permanent living arrangement, but these weekends they had spent together were wonderful, even with tonight’s miscommunication and misunderstanding.

Raymond had the biggest smile she had seen on his face. He was petting the puppy and it was squirming and kissing his chin. “Oh I think he can stay,” he said. He looked up at her. “And you can stay as long as you want.”

“Is forever, OK?” She laughed and flopped onto the couch next to him. They didn’t get much sleep that night, thanks to the puppy, and that was just fine. They had many more holidays to spend together in the future.

The closest to any sign of memory had been two days ago, when she’d asked to look at the ring on his finger. A flutter of hope had beaten through his chest as he’d shown her the ring on his finger and had let her stroke her finger across the blue moonstone. When she had back looked up at his face as her fingertips had swirled over the stone, his breath had caught in his throat when he’d thought he’d spied a glimmer of her normal self in her eyes. But then the moment was gone as if it never were. Neither the cold stone nor the quick accidental touch of her fingertips to his knuckle had woken her. He’d masked his emotions as quickly as he could but he knew it hadn’t been quickly enough.

His Belle had always read him like a book and even if she didn’t know him any more, it seemed she could still read him.

It could be the only possible explanation for why she seemed to trust him so. He could have been anything to her. He could have been lying to her but when he had pointed that out to her, she’d just smiled told him that she could tell he was a ‘good man’. Somehow even with no memories, no sense of self she still saw the best in him.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts as Regina herself answered the door in a sleek navy skirt suit and pristine white shirt.

“Any progress?” She asked softly, as she moved to the side to let him in.

He shook his head.

She gave a sympathetic little smile,“It’ll work out. It’s hardly the first time she’s lost her memories. You’ll work out the trick to recovering them this time and soon enough your wife will have the dubious pleasure of remembering you again.”

He quirked an eyebrow, “Do I have to remind you, dearie, two of the times Belle forgot who she was, you were more than a little involved.”

She straightened a little and said stiffly, “Yes, well. I’m not that person any more. And if I may remind you, you’re not the man you were then either.”

Rumplestiltskin sighed, suddenly feeling bone tired, “No I’m not. I know you’re not involved this time anyway, dearie. If I thought there was even a chance you might know anything about this well, this conversation would be taking place in a very different setting,” he said and let his lip curl into a sardonic smile and added in a lower voice, “with much more pain.” He shook his head and shifted back to his lighter conversational tone, “And I most certainly would not be entrusting you with the care of my son. Speaking of, how has he been?”

Regina looked as if she had wanted to say something else before his abrupt change of topic but evidently changed her mind and just gestured a hand vaguely towards the living room.

“He’s been good as Gold--” she winced, having evidentially not seen that obvious pun coming, “He’s playing with Henry now.”

Shrieks of joy were emitting from the living room and Rumplestiltskin felt some of the tension leaving him as he walked towards the sound of his son’s happy laugh.

But as he stood in the doorway and watched Henry leap around the room twirling a Duplo model around in his hand and knock an arm off the Duplo model Gideon was wielding as a weapon, he also felt the familiar weight of sorrow creep over his heart. His little boy who just missed his mother dreadfully but didn’t know she might not be the mother he knew when he saw her.

Belle hated it too. She was much less distressed overall this time compared to the Incident with the pirate. The only time he’d seen her get truly upset was when she realized she had no memories of her child.

“What kind of a mother forgets her child?” She’d sobbed.

And while she wasn’t truly comfortable with him, she’d allowed him to comfort her just that once. Had allowed him tuck her into his arms where she belonged and stroke her hair, in just the pattern he knew soothed her.

He hoped what he was about to do was a good idea, both Gideon and Belle would be so crushed if this went wrong.

He stood there, just watching his son and grandson, loathe to interrupt their fun for what seemed like a long time. But it couldn’t have been very long before Gideon with more luck than anything else managed to knock Henry’s Duplo model out of his hands.

Henry fell to his knees and raised beseeching hands towards Gideon, “Oh, have mercy oh great and powerful Gideonasaurobot!”

“No! No mercy. Gideonasaurobot must punish you with tickles!” Gideon shrieked dropping his own model and launching himself at Henry.

“No! No! Anything but that.” Henry cried as Gideon’s wriggling fingers connected with his stomach, trying and failing to bat them away.

Rumplestiltskin coughed, hating to bring his son’s fun to an end but figuring he ought to save Henry from the indignity of losing a tickle fight to a three-year-old.

Henry glanced over his shoulder and smiled at his grandfather. He prodded Gideon’s arm and pointed towards the door. Gideon turned, his face lightening up as he ran and flung himself at his father’s legs.

“Papa!” Rumplestiltskin staggered back, grabbing the door frame to help him keep his balance.

He smiled as he bent down and picked up Gideon.

“So were you good for Regina and Henry?” Gideon nodded vigorously. “I was very, very good. The goodest! I even got to eat Christmas cookies I was so good.”

“Did you now?” Rumplestiltskin smiled down at his son, while privately hoping that Regina hadn’t left Gideon consume too much sugar.

“Yeah! They were tasty and I learned magic,” Gideon finished proudly.

Rumplestiltskin half-turned and shot a filthy glare at Regina; she couldn’t possibly think he would approve of her teaching his three-year-old son magic.

She crossed her arms, “It wasn’t me it was Henry."

Rumplestiltskin turned back and stared at Henry in befuddlement. Henry just grinned and started chucking Duplo back into a large red plastic box.

“I show you,” Gideon said wriggling until his father gently lowered him back down. Gideon patted his leg, “Wait here,” he said before racing off to the back of the room.

Rumplestiltskin watched him gather up his stuffed bunny and a large velvet top hat and come running back towards him.

Rumplestiltskin looked over his shoulder and raised an eyebrow at Regina.

She rolled her eyes, “Don’t look at me like that. It’s not what you think -- it’s just a hat.”

Rumplestiltskin felt a whoosh of relief go through him. He’d been fairly certain Henry wouldn’t teach Gideon actual magic but it didn’t stop him worrying.

“Papa!” Rumplestiltskin returned his gaze to his son. “And what great feat of magic are you going to show me?”

Gideon waved the stuffed rabbit around and its long off-white ears flapped against the blue and white checkered shirt. “Now you see Mr. Floppy Ears.”

Rumplestiltskin nodded, “I see him.”

“Yes. Now watch me put Mr. Floppy Ears in the hat,” Gideon said hugging the hat to his stomach and dropping the rabbit inside.

“Okay, I see him. He’s in the hat. But where’s the magic in that?”

“Shh, you’ll see,” his son replied impatiently as he placed the hat on his head.

It probably would have come down over his eyes if the rabbit hadn’t been in there Rumplestiltskin thought smiling.

Gideon waved black wand with white tips clutched in his chubby fist, “Abra Cadaver!”

Rumplestiltskin snorted quietly, wishing Belle were here and they could share this experience together.

Gideon raised the hat off his head and Rumplestiltskin pretended not to see him stuff Mr. Floppy Ears into the front of his shirt. He held out the hat proudly.

“Oh no! What have you done with poor Mr. Floppy Ears?” Rumplestiltskin exclaimed smiling down at his son.

Gideon giggled, “I magicked him out of the hat!”

“But to where? Where could you have magicked him to?”

Rumplestiltskin put his hand in the hat and pretended to try to find the bunny, “Here’s not in here.”

He looked Gideon up and down, then leaned around and pulled slightly on his left ear and pretended to check behind it. “He’s not here either.”

Gideon was bouncing up and down little body quivering with mirth as Rumplestiltskin checked the behind the right ear, “Nope not here either. Where can you have sent Mr. Floppy Ears?”

Gideon grinned proudly up at his father and pulled the bunny out from under his shirt.

“Here!” Rumplestiltskin smiled and clapped, “Well done! However did you manage that? I thought for sure you’d sent him to the land of bunnies.”

Gideon laughed, “No, that would be silly. He likes it here with me.”

Rumplestiltskin picked him up again and kissed his sticky cheek, “Does he now? That’s good, I think he’s the only thing keeping you out of trouble sometimes. Are you ready to go?”

Gideon nodded against his chest. “Then say 'goodbye' and 'thank you' to Henry."

Gideon twisted in his arms and waved his chubby hand. “Bye bye thank you Henry.”

Henry smiled and waved back, “Bye Gideon. I’ll teach you more magic next time you’re over.”

“Yeah!” Gideon slapped hand to his father’s chest.

“Ow! Gideon, no slapping remember?”

“Sorry, Papa,” Gideon trilled.

He kissed the top of Gideon’s head. “It’s okay, just try to remember next time. Papas are very delicate you know.”

He whirled a hand to collect Gideon’s things together. There was not using magic for trivial purposes and there was stupidity in trying to hunt around for all randomly dispersed mess of a toddler. Rumplestiltskin started walking towards the door of the house.

“Wait.” Regina’s voice made him pause and he turned back to her with a raised eyebrow. “What is it dearie?”

“I have something else for you take with you. Wait here.”

She returned a minute later with a red metal tin.

“Here. These are some of the Christmas cookies we made.”

He smiled, “Thank you. That’s very thoughtful of you. Isn’t it Gideon? Say ‘thank you’ to Regina and ‘bye-bye’”

“Thank you. Bye-bye!” Gideon’s sung out.

“Bye, bye little man. We’ll see you again soon. Okay?” Regina said waving as they passed.

Gideon nodded into Rumplestiltskin's chest, “’Kay!”

Rumplestiltskin put Gideon down and helped him into his winter clothes.

“Thanks for this Regina.”

She shrugged, “It’s been no bother. Will you need me to look after him again this week?”

Rumplestiltskin shook his head, “Granny’s said she’ll take him for some the time and the Charmings have said they’ll have him over to play with Neal as well. So hopefully that’ll tide us through until Belle can come home and then,” he shrugged, “we’ll have to play that by ear I think.”

Regina nodded, “Let me know though. If you need any more help.”

“I will, thanks. I’ll try and find some way to make it up to you too.” Rumplestiltskin gave her an evil grin, “How about I see if Mal’s available for dinner sometime.”

Regina blushed slightly, “I can talk to her myself you know.”

“True, but you never do.”

She raised an eyebrow, “Is this the sort of meddling the mighty Dark One gets up to these days? Arranging dinner dates?”

“Ah, but I never said it was a date.”

Regina rolled her eyes and made and shooing motion with her hands. “Just take your child and go you meddlesome man.”

He grinned at her and picked Gideon up, adjusting his hat and scarf when he was safely in the crook of his arm again.

“Until next time Regina.”

“Goodbye and goodbye to you too Gideon.”

She waved once more before shutting the door firmly behind them.

Rumplestiltskin walked them to the car and carefully put Gideon into his booster seat.

“Are you ready to visit Mama and your baby sister and give them your present?”

“Yeah!” Gideon grinned excitedly up at him.

Rumplestiltskin smiled back and tried not to think that this trip very likely to turn out to be a bad idea.

***

Rumplestiltskin, got out of the driver’s seat and slid into the back seat next to the booster seat. He undid Gideon’s seat belt carefully and pulled his son into his lap.

“Now remember what we talked about before, all right? We’ll go see Mama and you can give her your present but she’s still sick.”

Gideon nodded into his father’s shoulder. “Okay,” He said in a small voice.

Rumplestiltskin took his hand gently and wondered if he was doing the right thing taking Gideon to see Belle. He was bound to be upset when she didn’t recognize him and then she’d be upset too. But he missed her so much and so wanted to give her her present. And the desperate foolish part of his mind hoped that maybe, just maybe, seeing her son would spark some memories.

“Just remember, Mama’s sick and has forgotten some stuff. She knows who you are of course,” he winced internally, it was not exactly lying to his son. He’d shown her pictures of her son and she was able to make new memories since the birth, so it wasn’t exactly a lie. But somehow finding that loophole made him feel far worse finding loopholes usually did. He decided to plough on and deal with his guilty conscience later, “She misses you and she wants to see you. But she won’t remember all the little stuff she normally does, so try not to ask her too many questions.”

“Oh,” Gideon replied in a small voice. He twisted a hand into father’s shirt collar.

“Papa?”

“Yes?” Rumplestiltskin laid a comforting had over Gideon’s.

Gideon chewed his lip,“Did I make Mama sick?”

Rumplestiltskin blinked. “No of course not,” he replied quickly. “Why would you think that?”

Gideon fixed his gaze on Rumplestiltskin’s chest and chewed his lip some more.

“Gideon?” Rumplestiltskin stroked Gideon’s hand, “Just tell me son. You can tell me anything remember?”

Gideon nodded and mumbled something into his chest.

Rumplestiltskin shook his head. “I’m really sorry Gideon. I couldn’t hear you.”

Gideon took a big gulp of breath and said quickly, in a small voice, “I got mad at her.”

Rumplestiltskin felt his heart clench at the guilt in Gideon’s voice. He hugged his son close to him and ran a gentle hand over his head.

“That’s okay Gideon.” He said soothingly, “You are allowed to get mad at her sometimes. We all get mad at each other sometimes. It’s harmless and you most definitely did not make her sick.” He paused, “Do you remember why were you mad at her?”

Gideon nodded, “I told her I wanted the baby to go away. Out of her tummy. I told her I want it to go away so I can sit on her lap again.”

Rumplestiltskin smiled down at Gideon and shook his head, “Well I’m afraid you can’t go back to being an only child, but I’ll let you in on a little secret.” He leaned in conspiratorially and lowed his voice almost to a whisper.

“What?” Gideon breathed back.

“Mama wanted the baby out of there too. She was getting very tired of it kicking her all the time.”

Gideon frowned. “Why didn’t she tell it off? She tells me off for kicking things.”

Rumplestiltskin smiled. “Well you see, when the baby was in her tummy it couldn’t hear and understand things yet. But now she’s outside Mama’s tummy she’ll have to learn not to kick things just like you. So you’ll have to be a very good big brother and show her how it’s done.”

“Will I get to sit on Mama’s lap again if I do?”

Rumplestiltskin nodded, “of course. Although not on this visit because Mama’s still sore because she’s sick. But afterwards you can, just like before, but you’ll have to take turns with your sister. Okay?”

Gideon nodded slowly, “I guess.”

Rumplestiltskin leaned over and kissed his forehead and stroked his hair again, enjoying the whiff of baby shampoo that reached his nostrils, “That’s a good lad.”

They sat in the back of the car for another few minutes before Rumplestiltskin decided they were as ready as they were going to be.

He got the little present bag with the present from Gideon, out of the trunk and let Gideon hold it as they walked through the hospital, periodically checking they hadn't managed to lose it on the way.

The hospital was all bright lights, loud voices and lots of bustling movement making Gideon inch closer and closer to his father’s legs until Rumplestiltskin just decided that would be easier to carry him the rest of the way and hefted Gideon into the crook of his arm.

“Almost there. Almost there, Gideon.”

Belle’s door was ajar when they reached her ward. He placed Gideon on the ground and crouched in front of him.

“Wait here for one moment while I check if Mama’s ready to see us. You know what she’s like -- she could still be fixing her hair.”

Gideon giggled and nodded.

He patted his son’s head and stood up, pushing the door open a little more and slipped his head around it. He felt a rush of relief, when he saw Belle sitting upright in bed reading. At least she wasn’t sleeping, she’d managed to stay awake most of the last couple of days but he’d still put off bringing Gideon to visit. Hoping her memory would be better mostly. But he knew it would distress Gideon less if she was at least alert and could pretend to be a bit more her usual self.

He tapped a lightly on the door frame and he was chagrined to see he her start at the loud noise. She swivelled her head up and towards the door.

He smiled, a little self-consciously, at the woman who both was and wasn’t his wife, “Sorry didn’t mean to startle you.”

She shook her head, “It’s fine. I don’t mind. I was just reading this book you bought me.” She gave an ironic little smile, “Guess the nice side to losing one’s memories is discovering stories like these for the first time again.” She held up her old battered blue-leather bound copy of the Her Handsome Hero.

He’d hoped an object from her childhood, of her mother’s, might have helped remind her who she was. There was no sign of any change but he couldn’t help but hope that it might spark a small change that would led somewhere.

He smiled back at her, “Well I’m glad you found a bright side to it. Are you available for company? I have a very eager young man here to see you.”

Her smile faded a little and she began to look a little apprehensive. But before he could offer to bring Gideon back another day, she nodded, “Sure. You said you’d be bringing him by. Now’s as good a time as any. Not as if I’m doing much just sitting here reading all day.”

He gave her one more appraising glance but she’d steeled herself to do this and with or without her memories Belle was both stubborn when she’d set her mind to something.

He turned back to Gideon, who’d sat himself on the floor, in the short time he’d been waiting. Rumplestiltskin supposed at least it was a hospital so the floor was probably cleaner than a lot of surfaces he’d played on.

“Come on Gideon. Mama’s ready to see you now.”

“She is?!” Gideon’s face lit up and scrambled to his feet.

Rumplestiltskin nodded and held the door open wider and beckoned towards his son. “Come on.”

His son ran eagerly past him, “Mama!”

Belle waved at him with a bright smile on her face and only her eyes betraying the nerves.

Gideon made to leap onto the bed and Rumplestiltskin only just managed to grab the back of his coat in time. “Uh, uh, uh. Remember what we talked about. You have to be gentle with Mama because she’s sick.”

Gideon slumped a little, “Oh yeah.”

Belle patted the bed beside her, “You can sit next to me if you like though.”

Gideon approached the bed slowly and scrambled up to her side, dragging the little present bag along the bed behind him and Rumplestiltskin just able to rescue it from being squished when Gideon down.

Belle slid her arm around her son, “how have you been Gideon?”

Gideon snuggled into her side. “Good. Missing you.”

There was only a slight pause from Belle, “I missed you too. But they say I should be able to come home soon. That’ll be good, won’t it?” She added a little false cheer into her voice.

“Yeah. You can see all the presents Santa got me!”

“Oh. Did Santa get you a lot of presents?”

Gideon nodded. “I got some trains, a tractor, some farm animals. And… and a puzzle and Play Doh. Oh! And a tricycle.”

“Did you now? My that’s a lot of presents!” You must have been very good,” she paused, confused.

Rumplestiltskin had begun to recognize this as her tick whenever she realized knew something in theory but did not know how she knew it or have any memories associated with how she acquired that knowledge.

He didn’t want Gideon getting upset, so he settled for distracting him. “Gideon has something for you, don’t you Gideon.”

Gideon nodded eagerly, grabbing the present bag and shoving it into Belle’s arms.

“Here!”

She peaked into the bag and pulled out the gift Rumplestiltskin had wrapped for Gideon

“I wonder what it could be,” she said shaking the rectangular parcel wrapped in white paper with little Christmas trees on it.

Gideon giggled at her display, “Open it! Open it!”

She smiled and tore the wrapping paper off to reveal a plastic picture frame covered in glitter glue. She gasped, “Did you make this yourself? For me?”

Gideon puffed his chest out a little. “Yeah. I made it all sparkly and shiny!”

“It’s so pretty! I’ll have to think of the best picture to put in here to do it justice!”

“Actually...” Rumplestiltskin began and both mother and son turned their heads towards the chair to the right of the bed where he’d settled himself.

“Yes?” Belle asked gently when he didn’t continue.

He shifted slightly, aware that the idea he’d come up with last night after arranging this visit might turn out to be a bad one.

“Well… I brought one with me so you could have it here while you’re waiting to come home.” He met her eyes and was glad to see they were still smiling at him, “Just until you’re home, of course.” He added, “You can pick out your own one then.”

She smiled brightly at him, “That’s a wonderful idea! Don’t you think that’s a wonderful idea Gideon?”

Gideon beamed and bounced a little on his bottom, “Yeah!”

Rumplestiltskin reached into his jacket and pulled out the photo he’d selected. It had taken a long time to decide but he was happy with his choice.

“It’s one of the ones from Gideon’s last birthday party,” he said handing over the photo.

It was a simple picture Henry had taken of the three of them in their back garden, Belle was leaning against his shoulder laughing as they both watched Gideon make the large plastic dinosaurs he’d gotten for his birthday walk on their heads.

Belle gave him a grateful little smile, “It’s perfect! I can sit it right here beside my bed so I can have something nicer to look at while I have to stay here.”

She gave Gideon a light squeeze and kissed his cheek, “Thank you both. What a wonderful present!”

Gideon beamed. “I told Papa you’d like it. And lots of blue glitter best.”

Belle nodded sagely, “And you were right on both counts.”

Rumplestiltskin smiled at the two of them. This was going better than expected he thought. It didn’t look like this had sparked any change in Belle but at least Gideon was getting some time with his Mama and she was managing to keep him from getting upset.

A wail came from the box at the end of the bed and broke him out of his reverie.

Gideon started and jammed his hands over his ears, “What’s that?”

Rumplestiltskin went to the bassinet at the end of the bed, reaching in and cradling the small babe in his arms and rocking her gently, “This is your baby sister.”

Gideon pulled his hands away from his ears, “Is she always loud?”

Belle laughed and reached out her arms towards her husband, “I think she’s hungry."

He returned to her and carefully placed their daughter in her arms. She smiled down at her and cooed, “Shh, shh. Mama’s here. Are you hungry little one?”

She evidently was hungry because she calmed down as soon as she was suckling at Belle’s breast. Gideon watched wide-eyed.

“Why aren’t you feeding her?”

Belle smiled, “I am feeding her. This is how babies eat.”

“Looks more like drinking.”

“Well, she’s too small to eat proper food so this is how babies eat.”

Gideon wrinkled his nose. “Weird!”

Belle laughed, “you were one once yourself you know! You ate this way too.”

Gideon wrinkled his nose, not sure what to make of this idea.

He stared at his sister and reached over a finger as if to poke her.

Rumplestiltskin grabbed his hand just in time, “no poking your sister.”

Gideon pouted, “Oh.” He frowned as if considering something, “does she have a name?”

Rumplestiltskin nodded, “Rosalind Colette. But we’re probably going to just call her Rosa most of the time.”

Gideon waved a hand towards his sister’s face. “Hello Rosa. I’m Gideon. I’m your big brother!”

He looked up at his father, “Where’s Mr. Floppy Ears?”

Rumplestiltskin dug the rabbit out of the front pocket of his coat and handed him over.

Gideon grabbed the toy and stuffed him into bed next to Belle.

She gave him a puzzled look, “Why are you doing that?”

“I think he should stay and keep you and Rosa company until you get better and come home,” Gideon said earnestly.

Rumplestiltskin felt his heart swell with love and pride and looked across to see Belle’s eye’s watering with emotion too.

She blinked a few times then smiled down at Gideon.

“You’re a good boy, Gideon. I promise you while I may forget a lot of things until I get well again, I won’t forget that I love you because you’re my best little guy and I will always know I love you. Okay.”

Gideon nodded and cuddled into her side, “Love you too”.

She leaned down and just managed to kiss his hair without disturbing the baby.