#beastlycheese

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 Belle French was feeling brave.  She would sort this out herself, she could sort this out herself.  The closer she got into the centre of Storybrooke though, the more nervous she felt.  This was the furthest she had ever been from her sprawling house right on the edge of town, she couldn’t even see the tower of the convent anymore. Although she was grateful for that, she always felt that Mother Superior was spying on her, continuing to judge her.   She had spent her formative years in the convent, a ward to Mother Superior.  Her father had been committed to an insane asylum, her mother dead. The authorities had decided she was best off in their care and so it had been off to the nunnery for the young French girl taken away from her home and her father’s workshop.  She had hoped to stay with her father’s assistant, Jefferson.  He was also a brilliant inventor but seen as far too unpredictable to look after a young girl and as Mother Superior had warned, he was far too male, far too ungodly and not far from being dragged off to the asylum himself.  He had been too scared to fight it.  

Just thinking of Superior Holy Pants made Belle walk with extra purpose.  She clacked her high heels in defiance and swung her short, flared skirt from side to side.  That woman mistook intelligence and curiosity as evil, favoured ignorance and expected a rigid adherence to her version of the gospel.  Belle had seen no love or compassion for any living creature in that woman, instead she had found her hard and callous.  Thinking of all the lonely years spent in her cell in that convent made Belle shiver.  Her days had been filled with praying and cleaning, well mainly cleaning as Superior Pants had told her that no amount of praying would make Belle holy and cleanliness was her only saving grace.  Her favourite time of day was the exercise hour when she was allowed to wander the vast grounds.  Jefferson would always try and meet her, their secret conversations through hedges and bushes were always a highlight of her days, he would smuggle her in little treats and books and tell her of his latest inventions.  He had been the one to convince her to stand up to Mother and return to her father’s home.  It had taken a lot of courage to leave the safety of the convent behind. She was warned that if the Mayor ever caught her “out and about”, she would suffer the same fate as her father.

Now was the time to be brave again, she had arrived at her destination, the vets.  Belle took a big breath in, pulled back her shoulders and opened the door.

 ------

 The vets waiting room was dark and silent.  A few people sat, heads bowed, one man was slumped on the floor, the atmosphere was icy, however much the lone garish Christmas tree flashed cheerfully.  Before Belle even got to the reception desk a fiery red-haired woman burst into the room.

“Right, everyone OUT!” she snarled. “The mayor and I have declared a State of Emergency. Every dog in this town will be put into quarantine, all their belongings need to be destroyed.  I will be accompanying the Sheriff to make sure my orders are carried out.”

The man on the floor asked with a croaky voice, “Will I be able to see my d..”

The woman cut him off, “No Gold, your dog is diseased and, in a coma, get out and disinfect your house now, no exceptions.”

The waiting room started to disperse but as no one was assisting the man on the floor Belle went to help.  “Don’t help him, he’s a beast, he deserves to crawl out on his hands and knees.” One said with a huff.  Undeterred Belle crouched beside him and offered him her hands. Slowly they managed to get upright.  “I lost my cane trying carry my sick dog here” the man explained. “Thank you, Belle. Could I trouble you to help me to my shop, it’s just a few doors down, but I don’t think I can make it on my own.”

“Of course,” Belle replied, “I couldn’t believe how cruel the people in here were.”

“No doubt I deserve it, I am not an easy man to get along with my dear. My only friend was that dog and now he is gone!” Gold said bitterly.

Using Belle as a crutch they managed to get to his shop.  “So, I take it you must be Mr Gold” Belle said looking at the sign.

“Guilty as charged. And who may I ask is my rescuer, an angel you must be, fallen from heaven cursed to save the wicked?”

“Oh? I thought you knew who I was, you said my name as I helped to pick you up.”

“No, I couldn’t have,” said an incredulous Gold. “I don’t know you at all, which is very surprising because most of the residents of this town are my tenants.”

“I’m Belle French, I live out on the edge of town down past the convent.”

“Ah the inventor’s daughter.  I have heard tell of you. I thought you were,  erm ‘away’.”

“Oh, you mean locked away in the asylum like my crazy father.”

“No! Not like that I’m just surprised and confused and in a state of shock, you must forgive me, you have been so kind, I didn’t mean to offend.”

“No offence taken,” smiled Belle. “Now let me get you comfy and let’s see to your foot.”

“What? You dare enter the beast’s lair and care for this old cripple?”

“Oh, shush now,” smiled Belle as she ushered him in and looked around, “you are no beast, all I see is a heartbroken pet lover.”

“You are too kind. Help me through the curtain, I have a spare cane and seats there.”

Belle and Gold shuffled through to the back.  She was so intrigued by all the amazing trinkets in his shop and was desperate to ask questions.  There was a day bed and a workshop, Belle helped Gold sit on the bed and got his shoes off, Gold closed his eyes his face scrunched in pain.  His ankle was very scarred and terribly swollen.  

“We really need to get some ice on this, Mr Gold. Do you need some painkillers?”

“There are some in the top drawer of my desk Miss French.  Thank you.  Unfortunately, I have no ice.  But if I could trouble you to drop in to the diner at the end of the street, you could get some there.  Here take some cash and get yourself something to thank you for your kindness. Probably best not to mention it is for me.  The owner is not a fan.”

“What is wrong with the people in this town?” sighed Belle. “You have been nothing but courteous and gracious to me.  I hate to hear you speak about yourself like that. Does nobody recognise a fine gentleman here? And you can stop looking so surprised I now know why Jefferson told me to go to Gold’s if anything happened to him.” With that declaration Belle marched out on her quest to find ice.

“Yep Jefferson is crazy too,” sighed Gold, as he lay down in pain, anger and grief.

 ----

 Belle found the diner quickly. It was a hive of activity. There was a large queue, and everyone was talking animatedly about the dog crisis.  Apparently, the sheriff was out rounding up dogs, sometimes at gun point, since no one was willingly giving up their pets, especially if they were well.  No one seemed to have a good word to say about the vet or the mayor, who turned out be long-lost sisters.  A lady at the counter said she was a nurse at the vets and that Zelena, for that turned out to be the vet’s name, had been putting the dogs in her care into comas. She had said it was for their own good. The nurse was dubious about this, saying that the injection smelt like some “god-awful scrumpy” and that she was glad she only owned a cat.

Eventually she got to the front of the queue and was served by a white-haired lady with a badge that proclaimed her to be GRANNY.  Belle ordered hot tea for two, a cup full of ice for an injury to her friend and two specials, which turned out to be burgers and fries.  Granny peered at her over her glasses and said, “You’re the young lady helping out Gold aren’t you? Now normally I wouldn’t piss on that man to put out a fire on his trouser leg but I heard what happened to his dog and when push comes to shove, at the end of the day, it aint right and he deserves a break today. And today only mind.  But be careful girl you get yourself home safe and sharpish too. Don’t sign nothing. Now we only serve iced tea, coffee alright? ”

It was the other waitress, Ruby, that brought out her order.  She wore the shortest red skirt that Belle had ever seen and looked like a girl from one of the fashion magazines that Jefferson had bought her. She had bright red lip stick on and her nails were painted silver and red.

“I love your nails” gushed Belle, “they are so Christmassy.”

“Don’t tell anyone but they are actually to co-ordinate with my favourite drink” she said with a wink.  “Diet Coke, with just a dash of Bacardi in the top so Granny doesn’t judge too much. You were very brave helping Gold today no-one else would dare, but I’m glad you got him away from the Green witch.  No one deserves to be treated like that when they have just lost their dog.”

Belle thanked Ruby and hurried back to the Pawn Shop before the ice melted. She was feeling very proud of what she had achieved today.  She had made it into town and met a lot of the residents and maybe she had made a friend of Mr Gold.  She knew it was a bit silly having known him for such a short while, but she felt close to him already, yes, she was sorry for him but also highly attracted to the man, he seemed so dashing, like a character in one of her novels. She had only been out of the house for a couple of hours and she already had a crush. What would the sisters think of that!

 ----

 Belle found a towel to wrap the ice round Gold’s ankle and told him the news from the diner.  Gold was furious about Zelena, but in his current state felt unable to do anything about it.  He wasn’t on the greatest of terms with the mayor to say the least, their clashes at town council meetings were legendary.  He would get back his dog and if he couldn’t nurse it better then he would make sure it had a decent burial.  Obviously, he didn’t want to risk harming his dog if the vet could find a cure and bring them out of their comas, but something didn’t seem right about the whole business.  

He looked over at Belle, she was an absolute angel.  What had started off as one of the most terrible days of his life had seemed to be brightened by her presence.  She was the light in the darkness and yet also so familiar.  He wracked his brain trying to think if he had seen her before or maybe even a relative of hers.

“You look like you are enjoying that burger Miss French.”

“I am, it is my first ever one!  We were never allowed anything so decadent at the convent and Jefferson is a vegetarian, so I don’t tend to eat meat at all.  We mainly eat the vegetables we grow.  We have become quite self-sufficient and I have learnt how to bake bread and cakes too. We tend to try an avoid the town, especially the mayor.”

“Very wise.” Gold nodded and continued, “So, tell me Miss French what brought you out of hiding and into the vets this morning?  I did not see a pet with you.”

“Oh, please call be Belle, Mr Gold, calling me Miss French all the time just reminds me of Mother Superior.”

“Well Belle it is! I certainly don’t want to sound like her.”

“Why was I in the vets? Well, I couldn’t find Jefferson.  He does tend to go missing for days at a time. He gets these terrible headaches, starts talking nonsense.  Charming nonsense but crazy stuff like, I’m a princess that lives in a castle with a terrible beast and he must protect me until the beast returns to save us. As I said crazy fairy tale stuff.  I’m apparently in love with the beast, I think it is my name that probably sets him off and an addiction to watching Disney films. Anyway, he always insists on calling me Belle of Avonlea, Beastess of the Dark Castle!”

“Belle, are you safe? Does he get any help with these delusions?”

“Well he was seeing Dr Hopper, but I think I misunderstood what he meant by ‘seeing’…But I do feel safe, he is always very protective and an absolute gentleman.  It was  just that I needed help with my dragon.”

“Your dragon!” exclaimed Gold.

“Oh no, you are going to think I’m crazy too! It is the name of my parrot, a Norwegian Blue. He is called Dragon.  I can’t remember why.  Which is kind of ironic because he is always screeching “Remember” along with a lot of insults. Anyway, he does tend to lie up in the rafters, Jefferson says he is “pining for the fjords” but he usually comes down if I tempt him with treats. But he just won’t come down and he hasn’t eaten or drank for days and he is so still and quiet.  I need to get to him, but I have no ladder or net.  I just hoped the vets could help me somehow. Maybe he is sick.”

“Now calm down Belle.  I don’t think you are crazy I was just startled, because Dragon was, is, the name of my dog! I don’t remember why he is called that either.”

“Oh. What a coincidence Mr Gold!”

“I know! I will help you Belle. I may have to hop but I’m determined to save at least one Dragon today!”

 ------

 Belle and Gold managed to find a large net in the pawn shop and strap a ladder on top of his Cadillac.  They arrived at Belle’s house, a huge mansion on the edge of town.  Gold couldn’t believe he had ever seen it before.  She quickly ushered him into what must have been a large ball room. It was now crammed with weird contraptions, piles of junk, tools and unknown machines.  This must be where her father and Jefferson worked on their inventions Gold thought. The magnificent ceiling was vaulted with fine carved oak beams. Dragon was somewhere up there.

They managed to manoeuvre a ladder into place and were arguing about who should go up.

“There is no way that you are going up there in those heels MISS FRENCH” Insisted Gold. “I will not be able to catch you if you fall.”

“And you cannot go up there on one leg!” Responded Belle.

Their argument was interrupted by a loud screech and a magnificent blue parrot glided down from the roof, landing on Gold’s shoulder, and started chanting “Rumple, Rumple, Rumple home”.

“Dragon!” cried Belle. “He is safe and well and seems to love you! He never goes on anyone’s shoulder and he has never said that before.”

Gold did not reply immediately he just stood there startled and confused.  

“This is rather disconcerting Belle. Could you please remove your bird from my shoulder?”

“I don’t think I can. He has his claws really dug into your suit Mr Gold.”

While Belle tried to prise Dragon off Gold’s shoulder the parrot started to chant again.

“Snow globes, snow globes, snow globes”

“Belle what is going on?  What does this creature mean, snow globes?”

“Ah, well, I do have a snow globe. It’s a bit embarrassing really, it is kind of my prized possession.  It was my only ornament in my cell at the convent.  It was like my treasure, my escape, it has a beautiful little log cabin inside I used to shake it and dream of white Christmases, snuggled up in the cabin by a roaring fire with my prince, sipping hot chocolate and roasting chestnuts.  It was a silly girl’s little dream to escape from my cell for a while.”

“It doesn’t sound silly Belle. But why is the parrot still going on about it?”

As if to emphasise the point Dragon bobbed up and down screeching even louder.

“Snow globes, snow globes, snow globes.”

“Well Dragon is somewhat obsessed by it, but he tries to crack it open with his beak, so I have had to put it into a case.”

“Rumple, Rumple, Rumple home”.

“Would I be able to see it ?”

“Snow globes, snow globes, snow globes.”

“Yes of course. It is just over here.”

“We are all crazy here! Wanna make a deal, wanna make a deal”

“Does this thing ever shut up?”

“I am so sorry Mr Gold, I really am, honestly he doesn’t usually make such a fuss.  I really don’t know what has got into him.”

Belle opened a glass fronted cabinet and handed Gold an antique looking snow globe.  He turned it over and examined it carefully.

“Well, Miss French..Belle, I am not an expert in globes but this is very interesting, quite old, I really can’t date it. The first globe was invented by Erwin Perzy in 1900, in Austria, but this looks older, which is obviously not possible…

Dragon chose this moment to loosen his grip on Gold’s shoulder and lunged at the globe knocking it onto the floor. Gold managed to grapple it away from the irate bird and looked at it in horror.

“Belle I’m so sorry, it is chipped.”

He could see Belle tearing up and did not know how to comfort her, but he was soon concerned by a bigger problem.  A purple gas was leaking out of the chip in the top of the globe.  They were soon engulfed in the choking smoke and passed out, falling to the ground.

 -----

 When they awoke, they were surrounded by snow and pine trees.  A quaint log cabin lay in front of them along a long snowy path glistening in an ethereal light.

“Rumpelstiltskin!” cried Belle

“My love, my Belle, my wife!” replied Rumpelstiltskin.

They ran into each other’s arms, kissing, hugging, crying.

“The curse, the curse has broken. I remember Rumpel. I remember our deal, falling in love, getting married and the curse to find your son.  But why are we here? This is not the land without magic, this is the cabin where we went for our honeymoon.”

“I know, my love, this is all wrong.  This was not how the curse should have worked.  I made last minute adjustments, so we would be together, but this is not right. That darned witch must have meddled too. Jeez Belle, you were trapped in that cell, for all those years! I will kill her, she promised me! She also brought her sister with her.  I didn’t even know she knew about Zelena!”

“The dragons!” cried Belle. “Rose and Thorn, where are they? Are they safe?”

“Well Rose managed to break that globe and wake us up, though when we find her you are going to have to grovel she is going to be mad with you.”

“Oh Rumpel, how was I know how to sex a parrot? It was not on the curriculum at the convent. But Rumpel I’m freezing! We are not dressed for snow, let’s get to the cabin and work this all out in the warm.”

They rushed along the path arm in arm towards their cabin.  Smoke was coming from the chimney but on inspection their hideaway was empty. It was absolutely like it had been during their honeymoon, even the same flowers were on the table surrounded by their wedding morning buffet. It was untouched and still fresh. Not being worried by magical phenomenon they sat down, hand in hand, drinking piping hot chocolate and eating pastries.

“This is my favourite memory Rumpel” confessed Belle.  Our cabin, in a winter wonderland, being together you and me, no crazy princes or witches, no curses, just you and me in paradise.”

“And there it was trapped inside a snow globe that even your cursed self treasured,” added Rum.

“You know when I looked at it, in your house, your name, Belle of Avonlea was written on the bottom.”

“I had seen that,” said Belle. “I thought Jeff had written it.  I have another confession. I actually stole it. Mother superior has thousands of snow globes locked in a room in the convent. It was one of my jobs to dust and polish them.  I didn’t think she would miss one.  It just spoke to me, I had to take it.”

“Thousands of these things, you say love?  What is the Blue Fairy up to? How is she connected to the curse? Is she in cahoots with Regina?  How do we get back to Storybrooke?  And more importantly where is Bae? I really don’t know what to do Belle.”

Rumpel looked confused  and a bit heartbroken. His plans were in tatters.  He was reunited with his love but back in the Enchanted Forest and still no closer to finding his boy.

Belle smirked and looked saucily at her husband.

“I know exactly what we do. You owe me Rumpel.  I didn’t forget your promise.  You said that everything was sorted that we would be together in the land without magic.  We wouldn’t be separated, we may not have our memories, but we would still be in each other’s arms. Do you remember what you promised me if things went wrong master?”

“Oh Belle, no! Not now.”

“I know you need this master, there are somethings you cannot hide! Now strip! Mistress Underlea needs to be worshipped.”

Belle admired the naked and now only slightly sparkly body of her husband as he stood erect before her.  She grabbed him by his engorged penis and pulled him along by it towards their marital bed.

 -----

 The loving couple were still lying entwined in bed feeling  very satisfied when they heard a loud banging on the cabin door.  

“Rumpelstitlskin come out I know you are in there!” It was the unmistakeable cry of Regina, evil queen and curse caster.

The couple quickly dressed and joined the former mayor on the porch.

“How have you opened this portal Dark One?” snarled the queen.

“None of your business Regina, what did you do to our curse?  You promised me comfort and Belle.”

“Oh, please Rumpel. You telling me you didn’t put in a few tweaks here and there that I didn’t agree to?  What is this portal and why have you brought magic back to Storybrooke?  This is not my happy ending.”

-----

Epilogue

 In the end after a lot of snarking the former apprentice agreed to work with her teacher.  She would lead them back to Storybrooke and they would both confront the Blue Fairy and try and wake the animals from their sleeping curse.

It turned out that the Blue Fairy had crossed them all. Her magic beans did not take anyone to the land without magic, they kept them sealed in time and space inside a snow globe.  Rumple was reunited with Bae, the Nolans with their daughter Emma, Regina with Daniel. The Enchanted Forest residents were all reunited with their loved ones in Storybrooke and everyone lived happily ever after.  

Apart from the Blue Fairy who angrily flitted about inside of a snow globe with Zelena who was permanently green with rage because no one should separate people from the people or animals that they love.

Notes